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Unemployment drops to 0% as last worker leaves labor force

By zzyzzx   2014 May 9, 12:59am   1 link   8,571 views   76 comments   watch (2)   quote      

President Obama today became the first to achieve a milestone coveted by enlightened central planners everywhere, as the Bureau of Laborious Statistics announced the much-followed meaningless headline: "U3 unemployment rate for last month was ZERO PERCENT," which clearly implies that the glorious economic recovery he engineered after the disastrous Bush years has now resulted in full employment.

It appears that Professor Obama succeeded in finding the Holy Grail, which eluded history's greatest economic thinkers like Lenin, Stalin and Mao. This landmark achievement, along with his establishment of free healthcare for everyone via the Affordable Care Act, cements his reputation as the Greatest Leader in this or any other universe for all time.

The dramatic moment occurred at 12:03 PM, four weeks to the day after Lyman Yilk, a pipe-fitter from Bittcling, Pa, finally gave up looking for work.

Mr. Yilk has been unemployed since 2005, but was on a celebratory bender since the day after Mr. Obama's first election and failed to notice that the Keystone Pipeline (which Mr. Yilk was hoping to find work on) had been cancelled due to environmental concerns. When he finally sobered up four weeks ago and learned the project was dead, he abandoned his search to find a job.

Mr. Yilk was the last worker to leave the labor force and turned the lights out as he left.

According to the Bureau of Laborious Statistics, "Official unemployment rate (U3) per the ILO definition occurs when people are without jobs and they have actively looked for work within the past four weeks."

Without Mr. Yilk, there was no one actively looking for work any longer, hence the U3 rate was now zero percent, praise Obama!

Naysayers were quick to note that the labor force participation rate had also dropped to zero percent, which, according to them, was not a good thing as it meant no one was employed. Rep. Nancy Pelosi brilliantly countered their racist, straw-man argument by observing that it also meant no comrade was any longer "job-locked" and each was free to be an artist, writer, or hooker, pursuing their passion.

"There is no underestimating this tremendous achievement of Barack Obama," said Paul Klugeman, an expert on hiding declines and fudging economic statistics, as well as on being the self-proclaimed "Conscious Liberal."

"Comrade Obama has achieved the socialist dream of freeing all of The People™ from the slavery of work and permitting them to live off someone else's dime - as God, if he existed, would've wanted."

When asked if he was concerned that since no one was working, there would also be no one to pay for the benefits to all the non-workers, Dr. Klugeman responded: "Nonsense! The Fed will simply print money for artists, writers, and hookers so they can buy goods coming from China. What could go wrong?"

"The genius of Dear Leader Barack Obama lies in its simplicity," Dr. Klugeman added.

Now that he has made it look so simple, it's a wonder no one ever thought of it sooner.

#politics

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37   zzyzzx   2014 May 9, 10:34am     ↑ like (4)   ↓ dislike   quote    

It's pointing out the fallacy of the official bogus unemployment numbers. Presumably they are fudging them even more now due to Obama's low popularity numbers, since it's really not particularly close to election time.

38   zzyzzx   2014 May 9, 10:36am     ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike (1)   quote    

marcus says

all the wealth is quickly moving in to the hands of the few

Only in the US, parts of Europe, and Japan. In places like India, China, Korea, Mexico, etc. the money seems to be going to ordinary people.

39   Strategist   2014 May 9, 11:09am     ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike   quote    

dublin hillz says

Every dollar that gets vaporized in wages is one less dollar that can be invested into mutual funds to actualize the wealth effect!

Are you trying to say it is more productive to invest rather then spend? Remember, the eventual purpose of investing is to produce goods and services that people want to buy and consume.
I would apply your comment towards welfare given to people who could, but refuse to work. That is where other peoples hard earned wages get vaporized.

40   marcus   2014 May 9, 11:13am     ↑ like   ↓ dislike (3)   quote    

zzyzzx says

Only in the US, parts of Europe, and Japan. In places like India, China, Korea, Mexico, etc. the money seems to be going to ordinary people.

SO are you saying that I shouldn't fear our move toward being a third world country, because when we get a little further along in the process (down to the level of those countries) things will be better ?

41   Bellingham Bill   2014 May 9, 12:27pm     ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike (1)   quote    

marcus says

We need a modern day progressive republican.

that's not what this movie's about.

we're talking locked-down police-state nominal-democracy endgame here.

GOP cargo-cult ideology will keep people waiting for the "job creators" to come from the sky. Not sure how long their game's going to last, or how long it has to last.

42   Fucking White Male   2014 May 9, 2:07pm     ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike (1)   quote    

marcus says

I can't believe that observing the fact that it's as tough as it is these days, that upward mobility is FAR less than it was a few decades ago, and that all the wealth is quickly moving in to the hands of the few, is somehow a leftist or liberal point of view.

We need a modern day progressive republican.

How in the universe has it escaped you that the same government agents giving the handouts to the poor are also the ones implementing the policies that further enrich the ultra wealthy while simultaneously raping the middle class and the entrepreneurs?

43   iwog   2014 May 9, 3:48pm     ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike (3)   quote    

dodgerfanjohn says

How in the universe has it escaped you that the same government agents giving the handouts to the poor are also the ones implementing the policies that further enrich the ultra wealthy while simultaneously raping the middle class and the entrepreneurs?

Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie = ridiculous foxbot conclusion.

(I counted)

If you and your party persist in giving billionaires a 15% tax rate while charging working people double or more just to stay alive, you will fucking kill this country. Take your crony capitalist red herring and shove it up your ass.

44   Dan8267   2014 May 9, 4:03pm     ↑ like   ↓ dislike (1)   quote    

smaulgld says

Dan8267 says

One shouldn't engage in activity that's so low-productive that you can't even survive day-to-day doing it.

Guess people shouldn't mow their lawns anymore or shovel their driveway

If it costs more money in terms of time than it would cost money in terms of hiring someone else to do it, then yes.

Of course, it would be more economical not to have lawn to mow in the first place.

As for shoveling your drive way, unless you can walk to work, the time spent shoveling is far less than the time spent commuting without a car.

45   carrieon   2014 May 9, 8:09pm     ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike   quote    

The IRS doesn't mind telling the truth that only 45% of the population today files a return.

46   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   2014 May 9, 8:46pm     ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike   quote    

Bellingham Bill says

GOP cargo-cult ideology will keep people waiting for the "job creators" to come from the sky.

You're mixing them up with the platinum-shitting gay space aliens who are going to buy real estate at 100x whatever a seller wants to post.

47   indigenous   2014 May 9, 11:06pm     ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike (2)   quote    

iwog says

John Stewart has made a career out of letting Republicans speak without editing.

Bullshit he might interview someone 4 hours to get a few minutes of "show" conversation. I'm surprised someone doesn't sue the shite out of the disingenuous asshole.

I noticed how you mutts use that word so much, ironical.

48   Strategist   2014 May 10, 12:53am     ↑ like   ↓ dislike   quote    

indigenous says

iwog says

John Stewart has made a career out of letting Republicans speak without editing.

Bullshit he might interview someone 4 hours to get a few minutes of "show" conversation. I'm surprised someone doesn't sue the shite out of the disingenuous asshole.

I noticed how you mutts use that word so much, ironical.

Bill O Reilly does that too. They all do that.

49   indigenous   2014 May 10, 12:59am     ↑ like   ↓ dislike (1)   quote    

Strategist says

Bill O Reilly

You mean Ted Baxter.

50   Dan8267   2014 May 10, 1:01am     ↑ like   ↓ dislike (1)   quote    

Strategist says

indigenous says

iwog says

John Stewart has made a career out of letting Republicans speak without editing.

Bullshit he might interview someone 4 hours to get a few minutes of "show" conversation. I'm surprised someone doesn't sue the shite out of the disingenuous asshole.

I noticed how you mutts use that word so much, ironical.

Bill O Reilly does that too. They all do that.

Bill O Reilly has made a career in comedy out of letting Republicans speak without editing.

Best explanation for Fox News ever. It's been a fake, comedy news show all the time like Weekend Update. We liberals just never got the punchlines.

51   errc   2014 May 10, 1:16am     ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike   quote    

iwog says

Put a 40 acre plot of land up for grabs and offer to share the profits with an unemployed person if he/she will do all the work.

The problem isn't people wanting to sit on their ass. The problem is capitalists who have locked up every last piece of capital and refuse to share.

You just illustrated the fatal flaw of the neoclassical economist, conflating land with capital

52   iwog   2014 May 10, 3:13am     ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (2)   quote    

indigenous says

Bullshit he might interview someone 4 hours to get a few minutes of "show" conversation. I'm surprised someone doesn't sue the shite out of the disingenuous asshole.

Oh right.........you want to see Jon Stewart sued for putting the unedited comments of Republicans on the air.

Brilliant. These Pubes are full of good ideas.

53   indigenous   2014 May 10, 3:16am     ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike   quote    

iwog says

unedited comments

Like I said bullshit.

54   Strategist   2014 May 10, 3:30am     ↑ like   ↓ dislike   quote    

iwog says

Put a 40 acre plot of land up for grabs and offer to share the profits with an unemployed person if he/she will do all the work.

The problem isn't people wanting to sit on their ass. The problem is capitalists who have locked up every last piece of capital and refuse to share.

What if there ends up being a loss? Shit happens.
The goal of a capitalist is to make more money by using his capital. He does not want to sit on it.

55   Strategist   2014 May 10, 3:33am     ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike   quote    

indigenous says

iwog says

unedited comments

Like I said bullshit.

I doubt if anyone would want to watch 4 hours of an unedited interview. It would be boring as hell. Viewers only want to see the interesting parts.

56   Bellingham Bill   2014 May 10, 4:00am     ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike   quote    

errc says

conflating land with capital

I've long struggled with this element of Henry George's treatise of

"Capital is not land, because capital is wealth produced by labor; land is not produced by labor. Capital is the material product of labor, not the labor itself"

to me, a nice beach with a nice view is a form of wealth, and is certainly rentable in our current system (via rental beach houses), so people buying rental beach houses are certainly operating like capitalists, buying fixed wealth and profiting from leasing it out.

but it does make sense to distinguish land from capital, even if they are both forms of wealth.

"Capital is a material thing, a product of labor, stored-up wages; an instrument of production paid for in human labor, and destined to wear out. Capital is the natural ally of labor, and is harmless except as allied to privilege. Privilege is none of these, but is an intangible statutory power, an unpaid-for and perpetual lien upon the future labor of this and succeeding generations. Capital is paid for and ephemeral. Privilege is unpaid for and eternal. A man accumulated in his profession $5,000 capital, which he invested in land in Canada. Ten years later he sold the same land for $200,000. Here is an instance of $5,000 capital allied with $195,000 privilege. This illustrates that privilege and not capital is the real enemy of labor."

Krugman's textbook divides land from fixed capital:

"Broadly speaking, the main factors of production are the resources—land, labor, physical capital, and human capital. Land is a resource supplied by nature; labor is the economy’s pool of workers; physical capital refers to created resources such as machines and buildings; and human capital refers to the educational achievements and skills of the labor force, which enhance its productivity."

But the confusion comes from being able to pay money for both land and the capital improvements. If both are assets, then they get confused.

We no longer buy and sell human labor like we do capital, nor do we invest in human capital quite like the stock market -- yet . . .

http://www.slate.com/articles/business/moneybox/2014/04/income_share_agreements_instead_of_taking_out_loans_students_sell_stock.html

Ag land in California is now ~$25k per acre

http://www.fresnobee.com/2014/04/18/3884946/valley-farmland-values-grow-to.html

putting the capital value of iwog's 40 acres at a cool million dollars.

$30,000/yr of interest expense at 3%.

I didn't appreciate the Monopoly-board nature of life until way too late in life, sigh. The 1990s were a damn good time to buy in California, but I chose to go off to Japan instead, dammit.

57   corntrollio   2014 May 12, 10:41am     ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike   quote    

carrieon says

The IRS doesn't mind telling the truth that only 45% of the population today files a return.

Where are you getting that stat? I'm pretty sure you made it up.

The real number is estimated at 15%. You probably don't understand enough about our tax system to know that it's good for the other 85% when those 15% don't file and that those 15% are likely stupid for not filing. Legally, they may not be required to file one, but they would likely get money back if they did.

When I had a job as a 16-year old, I was not legally obligated to file a tax return because I didn't make enough money to meet the threshold. However, because I wasn't a moron, I filed anyway and got all of my federal tax refunded. Federal tax had been automatically withheld from my paycheck, even though I didn't actually owe any. Most of these people who don't file are probably in the same boat, so the rest of us actually benefit from this behavior. And those over 25, especially if they have kids, could get additional money back through the EITC. Viva ignorance!

58   thomaswong.1986   2014 May 12, 1:15pm     ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike   quote    

iwog says

If you and your party persist in giving billionaires a 15% tax rate while charging working people double or more just to stay alive, you will fucking kill this country. Take your crony capitalist red herring and shove it up your ass.

Clearly you have no idea the difference between ordinary income and capital gains tax...

... for the nth time since the 2012...

59   iwog   2014 May 12, 1:34pm     ↑ like   ↓ dislike (2)   quote    

thomaswong.1986 says

Clearly you have no idea the difference between ordinary income and capital gains tax...

... for the nth time since the 2012...

Ohhhhhh right!! Ordinary income is what people earn for working.

Capital gains is what people "earn" for fucking over consumers and making oil/real estate/wheat/corn/gasoline/metals more expensive for people who actually need them.

Thanks for clarifying that the more useless you are to an economy, the lower you're taxed.

60   indigenous   2014 May 12, 1:40pm     ↑ like (4)   ↓ dislike   quote    

iwog says

Capital gains is what people "earn" for fucking over consumers and making oil/real estate/wheat/corn/gasoline/metals more expensive for people who actually need them.

that is right, you know what you do for a living.

61   thomaswong.1986   2014 May 12, 1:41pm     ↑ like (4)   ↓ dislike (2)   quote    

iwog says

Capital gains is what people "earn" for fucking over consumers and making oil/real estate/wheat/corn/gasoline/metals more expensive for people who actually need them.

I expect no less from you...

I know of no one who has Capital Gains from Oil/RE/Corn/Gas/Metals ... as sold to Consumers since its really classified as Revenue - Ordinary Income in their industry. They would never pass the Audit and certainly their TI would be audited by the IRS...

Thanks for showing off your ignorance of our economy... just like Obama ... brainless!

62   iwog   2014 May 12, 1:42pm     ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (2)   quote    

indigenous says

that is right, you know what you do for a living.

Funny how quickly you'll simply throw away all your bullshit beliefs for an instant of ad hominem.

You don't actually believe people who earn the majority of capital gains in this country are making life more difficult for workers. You don't actually believe that most rich are little more than rent seeking leeches.

However you're so dishonest that you're willing to pretend for one moment you do just to troll.

Nice work!

63   iwog   2014 May 12, 1:45pm     ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (2)   quote    

thomaswong.1986 says

I know of no one who has Capital Gains from Oil/RE/Corn/Gas/Metals ... as sold to Consumers

Yes you do. (nice dishonest editing of the word "real estate" there bub, keep on lying)

thomaswong.1986 says

since its really classified as Revenue - Ordinary Income in their industry. They would never pass the Audit and certainly their TI would be audited by the IRS...

This is a lie and total bullshit. Not only is long term commodity speculation taxed at capital gains rates, but 60% of short term futures speculation is also taxed at long term capital gains rates even if they are positions held for a single day!

There's a reason you never support your points with anything. You're a fraud.

64   indigenous   2014 May 12, 1:46pm     ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike (1)   quote    

iwog says

most rich are little more than rent seeking leeches.

is you one of them?

65   iwog   2014 May 12, 1:46pm     ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (2)   quote    

indigenous says

iwog says

most rich are little more than rent seeking leeches.

is you one of them?

Not according to you.

Funny how I'm honest about YOUR beliefs but you aren't.

66   thomaswong.1986   2014 May 12, 1:52pm     ↑ like (5)   ↓ dislike (2)   quote    

iwog says

Yes you do. (nice dishonest editing of the word "real estate" there bub, keep on lying)

You know nothing of Accounting so dont try... this my world not yours.

67   indigenous   2014 May 12, 1:55pm     ↑ like (3)   ↓ dislike   quote    

iwog says

Funny how I'm honest about YOUR beliefs but you aren't.

No no, you make your living exactly the same way that you criticize others for doing.

Amongst other things you are a fucking hypocrite.

68   thomaswong.1986   2014 May 12, 1:56pm     ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike (1)   quote    

iwog says

This is a lie and total bullshit. Not only is long term commodity speculation taxed at capital gains rates, but 60% of short term futures speculation is also taxed at long term capital gains rates even if they are positions held for a single day!

Wrong... commodities held as inventory even by IRS rules, turned to revenue is taxed as Ordinary Income.. Revenue... To say otherwise is just idiotic...

Once again... this is not your world... you have no idea what your talking about. There is no such thing... your making things up once again.

69   iwog   2014 May 13, 3:50am     ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (2)   quote    

indigenous says

No no, you make your living exactly the same way that you criticize others for doing.

Link an example of me criticizing people for rent seeking.

indigenous says

Amongst other things you are a fucking hypocrite.

Not even close.

70   iwog   2014 May 13, 3:52am     ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (2)   quote    

thomaswong.1986 says

Wrong... commodities held as inventory even by IRS rules, turned to revenue is taxed as Ordinary Income.. Revenue... To say otherwise is just idiotic...

Unbelievable. You're the 2nd stupidest person on the board next to CIC. Do you even know what a futures contract is?

71   indigenous   2014 May 13, 5:02am     ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike   quote    

iwog says

Link an example of me criticizing people for rent seeking.

I got the impression you were agin evil corporations? Are you not?

72   iwog   2014 May 13, 5:14am     ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (2)   quote    

indigenous says

iwog says

Link an example of me criticizing people for rent seeking.

I got the impression you were agin evil corporations? Are you not?

Why don't you asking me the fucking question first instead of lying about my views in a way that allows you to make stupid assumptions and call me a hypocrite. Deal?

I have no problem with business, investment, rent seeking or corporations. My problem is with a government that allows abuses to occur. Each individual must play the game in the most advantageous way possible because that is what everyone else is going to do.

The core problem is people like you who neither understand the rules nor the implications of fucking them up. When you vote, you damage the country.

73   indigenous   2014 May 13, 1:32pm     ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (1)   quote    

iwog says

Why don't you asking me the fucking question first instead of lying about my views in a way that allows you to make stupid assumptions and call me a hypocrite. Deal?

Because most libtards do hate all corporations. Apparently you are the exception?

iwog says

My problem is with a government that allows abuses to occur.

I can't believe I'm going to say this, but on that we agree.

iwog says

The core problem is people like you who neither understand the rules nor the implications of fucking them up. When you vote, you damage the country.

Regarding this point Fuck Off. You are flattering yourself.

74   iwog   2014 May 13, 1:53pm     ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (2)   quote    

indigenous says

Because most libtards do hate all corporations. Apparently you are the exception?

Nice job. Ad hominem followed by a lie followed by mock surprise. You're a piece of work you know that? How do you expect to be taken seriously when you can't even keep your own bullshit straight?

indigenous says

Regarding this point Fuck Off. You are flattering yourself.

You're not qualified to vote. You have the right to vote, but that isn't the same thing.

75   thomaswong.1986   2014 May 13, 1:58pm     ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (2)   quote    

iwog says

Unbelievable. You're the 2nd stupidest person on the board next to CIC. Do you even know what a futures contract is?

Face it.. you got called out and failed. Typical nonsense from Iwog!

76   indigenous   2014 May 13, 2:00pm     ↑ like (3)   ↓ dislike (1)   quote    

iwog says

Nice job. Ad hominem followed by a lie followed by mock surprise. You're a piece of work you know that? How do you expect to be taken seriously when you can't even keep your own bullshit straight?

Thanks, I will take that as a complement from one of the best in this department.

iwog says

You're not qualified to vote. You have the right to vote, but that isn't the same thing.

Compared to you I'm qualified to write the Constitution.

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