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If Whole Foods Had a Face, That Would Be the Only Place I'd Ever Take a Shit

By APOCALYPSEFUCK_is_ADORABLE   2016 Feb 18, 5:53am   2 links   2,857 views   13 comments   watch (0)   quote      

Just saying.

I know everyone feels exactly the same way.

Comments 1-13 of 13     Last »

1   HEY YOU   2016 Feb 18, 9:03am     ↑ like   ↓ dislike   quote    

Damn funny!

2   HydroCabron   2016 Feb 18, 11:51am     ↑ like (3)   ↓ dislike   quote    

That would have to be a gluten-free shit, you know.

It's not funny: a lot of people - all of them capable of digesting gluten without any health consequences whatsoever - have diagnosed themselves and their children as gluten-sensitive. They will surely die of hysteria-induced hyperventilation if exposed to gluten without a gas mask, rubber gloves and apron!

3   Dan8267   2016 Feb 18, 12:01pm     ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike   quote    

One does not go to Whole Foods to shop for groceries. One goes to Whole Foods to shop for mates. Best place to pick up young skinny white chicks, SWCs.

4   APOCALYPSEFUCK_is_ADORABLE   2016 Feb 18, 1:13pm     ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike   quote    

Listen, we're not talking a workaday coffee n' crap drive-by defecation. We're talking post-rancid-clam feasting, jet-powered shit geyser that puts Whole Foods and all its shareholders knee deep in green, sucking slime. We don't want to involve chicks in something that splatters like this.

5   P N Dr Lo R   2016 Feb 18, 2:53pm     ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike   quote    

HydroCabron says

have diagnosed themselves and their children as gluten-sensitive.

And the other half are peanut sensitive, so everything is covered.

6   TwoScoopsMcGee   2016 Feb 18, 5:09pm     ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike   quote    

Dan8267 says

One does not go to Whole Foods to shop for groceries. One goes to Whole Foods to shop for mates. Best place to pick up young skinny white chicks, SWCs.

Damn Dan, really? I guess I've only been to Mass. and Oregon ones, maybe South FL has a different crowd. But the ones I went to, 90lb middle aged lushes who smoke and half lost half their hair and visibly shake with weakness due to lack of animal fat intake.

7   NuttBoxer   2016 Feb 18, 5:30pm     ↑ like   ↓ dislike   quote    

I thought SP was funny, but not sure why people are so against Whole Foods? The produce at our local Sprouts has steadily declined in quality to the point where Whole Foods is the only place I know of in San Diego to get organic produce at a decent price. I'm in a CSA as well, but we like to pick our own fruits and veggies some weeks.

And I can confirm Dan's observation. Some very hot, very fit chicks shop at Whole Foods San Diego.

8   Dan8267   2016 Feb 18, 8:07pm     ↑ like   ↓ dislike   quote    

thunderlips11 says

Damn Dan, really? I guess I've only been to Mass. and Oregon ones, maybe South FL has a different crowd. But the ones I went to, 90lb middle aged lushes who smoke and half lost half their hair and visibly shake with weakness due to lack of animal fat intake.

It might depend on where you are located. In Boca, the Whole Foods is packed with Lynn Unv. rich white college chicks and FAU graduates and other young Boca socialites. They look pretty much like your avatar icon Ivanka Trump and live off rich daddy's credit card. Whole Foods is a better pickup place than any bar or night club.

Basically, you start a conversation about organic fruit and go from there.

9   Dan8267   2016 Feb 18, 8:16pm     ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (1)   quote    

Ironman says

You live in Dan's neighborhood?? This is what he picks up in his local Whole Foods in Florida:

More like this, dumb ass.

Of course, it's nothing like the place where you pick up lovers...

10   Dan8267   2016 Feb 18, 11:47pm     ↑ like   ↓ dislike (1)   quote    

Once again, CIC is obsessed with a gay-friendly restaurant trying to cover up how he chicken-shitted out of show his face.

11   APOCALYPSEFUCK_is_ADORABLE   2016 Feb 19, 3:55am     ↑ like (4)   ↓ dislike   quote    

Can you guys be nice?

We're trying to have a nice thread about taking a shit on Whole Foods' face and you two show up and start getting vulgar with all this talk about guys bum blasting each other.

12   YesYNot   2016 Feb 19, 7:15am     ↑ like   ↓ dislike   quote    

Please focus on the processed foods and neutraceuticals portion of the Whole Foods face. I enjoy the bulk food items, the veggies, and the prepared food sections.
I'd prefer not to eat anything that is tainted by the fecal matter of a 3 toed cunt lapping mutant fish thingy. What do you suppose that thing has anyway, an ass or a chloaca?

13   Dan8267   2016 Feb 19, 9:12am     ↑ like   ↓ dislike (1)   quote    

Ironman says

Dan8267 says

It's not actually a gay bar.

Dan8267 says

obsessed with a gay-friendly restaurant

Danny boy, How about making up your mind which lie is the correct one...

Folks, here's the problem with psychopaths, they just can't keep their lies and delusions consistent....

CIC is confusing himself for me.

First off, he's obsessed with Georgie's, a restaurant/bar in Fort Lauderdale which I've been to a grand total of three times in my life, twice for lunch with co-workers and once to prove that CIC is a chicken-shit coward who would not show up after begging to meet me. I choose Georgie's solely on the slight chance that if CIC did show up then I could humiliate him by exposing his anti-gay bashing in front of a crowd of people who would kick his fat pimply ass. Fear of this happening is why CIC chickened out of meeting up twice more despite continually begging to do so.

Second, there is no contradiction between the statements "It's not actually a gay bar." and "[it's] a gay-friendly restaurant". The contradiction only exists in CIC's mind because he's a closeted, self-hating homosexual who fantasizes regularly that Georgie's is The Blue Oyster from the Police Academy movies and that men are having anal sex on the bar.

The reality is far more boring. Georgie's is a Miller Ale House style restaurant that a lot of straight and gay people go to for lunch since it's surrounded by many companies. These are an actual pictures of Georgie's and it's pretty much what my experience at it has been.

Notice the straight couples and groups of coworkers. If it weren't for the rainbow decorations showing support for gay rights and marriage equality, this restaurant wouldn't look any different from a thousand other restaurant/bar combos all across Florida and most other states.

Yet, CIC fantasizes that they check your gay credentials when you walk in. I'm sorry sir, but we cannot seat you until you blow this guy. Yep, that's what running through CIC's mind. The only possible explanation for CIC's obsession with Gerogie's is that he masturbates while fantasizing about young men having sex in public in an outdoor restaurant, which of course would not remotely happen anywhere. The sheer ridiculousness of CIC's fantasies demonstrates how repressed he is.

I strongly suspect that the reason CIC is such a loser troll is that he cannot find happiness anywhere due to his self-hatred and suppression of what is clearly his real sexual orientation. CIC's fat ass wife is what's known as "a beard". It's his way of trying to pass for straight, something that he has to do to maintain his conservative credentials. If word got out that he's constantly thinking about watching and having male anal sex in public, which let's face it is really what he's obsession is all about, none of his conservative butt-buddies would talk to him again.

The best thing CIC could do is to embrace his homosexual feelings and just go down on a guy or several. He clearly wants to, and if he did, it might keep him out of the petting zoos and the cemeteries. He might also be nicer to people and actually make a friend for the first time in his life.

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