You've messed with the wrong fucking carpooler today!


By CL   Follow   Thu, 13 Oct 2011, 10:06am   2,339 views   31 comments
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So I wait in the goddamned line today, doing my part to reduce congestion, save the planet from environmental whatsit, and finally two people arrive and hop in. They toss me a buck and I pull into the gas station (which has frontage road access that I take all the time when the on-ramp is paralyzed---saves time usually).

The guy in the back seat says, "You should get gas before you get in line". And I say, "You can get out if you want, but I think it's smarter to put some gas in before getting on the bridge".

So the motherfucker asks for his dollar back and starts walking back to the carpool line!!! My tank was full, before this fool even made it back.
Of course, the girl went too--I can't blame her since one rider does not a carpool make, but I detected a hint of ass-holery from her as well.

I'm really god-damned sick of the lack of appreciation the poolers have. I didn't take their money, ever, until recently. I believed that my generosity would be appreciated but I've since become more inclined to see them as free-loading cocksuckers who are too cheap to take the god-damned bus.

So, needless to say, I think I'm tired of "helping" these folks. But, what could I do to exact revenge on them if I were so inclined? Creativity will be rewarded with $10 worth of Pat-bucks. :)

(Sorry for that---I sound all Galt-y!)

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  1. terriDeaner


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    1   10:15am Thu 13 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    CL says

    But, what could I do to exact revenge on them if I were so inclined?

    On a rainy day, eat a huge plate of beans for breakfast and stink them out on the long, congested ride to work.

  2. Reality


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    2   10:15am Thu 13 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    "You can get out if you want" was probably what made him hop out in the presence of the girl.

  3. zzyzzx


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    3   10:30am Thu 13 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    terriDeaner says

    On a rainy day, eat a huge plate of beans for breakfast and stink them out on the long, congested ride to work.

    I would do the same thing, except add some broccoli to the beans.

  4. bighorse


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    4   11:01am Thu 13 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    He is right though. You should get gas before you get in line. Maybe there was a better way he could have told you.

    After your statement of telling him to get out if he likes; nobody wants to ride with someone whom just soured even a casual encounter. I don't think he was being arrogant by getting out. He did you both a favor. It'd have been awkward if he had stayed.

  5. CL


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    5   12:00pm Thu 13 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (1)  

    bighorse says

    He is right though. You should get gas before you get in line. Maybe there was a better way he could have told you.

    After your statement of telling him to get out if he likes; nobody wants to ride with someone whom just soured even a casual encounter. I don't think he was being arrogant by getting out. He did you both a favor. It'd have been awkward if he had stayed.

    Yeah, but the station is on the way. It's a half a block closer to the on-ramp, and has the frontage road.

    When you add the wait time, the cheapness, and the expense of driving (with parking and gas and insurance), I just think they could have been more considerate of my time (and my concerns) since I waited for the bastards.

    Which is really the whole point---who is doing a favor for whom here? I'd say it's the drivers. :)

  6. thunderlips11


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    6   12:01pm Thu 13 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (1)   Protected  

    CL says

    Which is really the whole point---who is doing a favor for whom here? I'd say it's the drivers. :)

    For a dollar? Yeah, you are doing the favor. Also you are going at least a little out of your way to do it.

  7. Reality


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    7   12:39pm Thu 13 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    CL says

    Which is really the whole point---who is doing a favor for whom here? I'd say it's the drivers. :)

    For a $1, of course you are doing him a favor if the distance is more than a couple miles. However, it costs nothing to be courteous, and would make the experience much more enjoyable for both.

    Try volunteering at food banks or soup kitchens some time. Just because I'm donating time on top of donating food doesn't give me the right to be disrespectful of people fallen on hard times. Anything less, we might as well sign up for the stereotypical DMV job or going postal. LOL. disclaimer: my last trips to DMV and post office actually found very courteous men and women behind counters even though their salaries were not affected by whether they'd be courteous or rude to me.

  8. Truthplease


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    8   12:59pm Thu 13 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    I have heard of this before. I know DC has some strict slugging rules.

    http://slug-lines.com/Slugging/Etiquette.asp

  9. david1


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    9   1:17pm Thu 13 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    terriDeaner says

    On a rainy day, eat a huge plate of beans for breakfast and stink them out on the long, congested ride to work.

    Window lock on a hot day too.

  10. corntrollio


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    10   3:59pm Thu 13 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (1)  

    CL says

    Which is really the whole point---who is doing a favor for whom here? I'd say it's the drivers. :)

    Yeah, but that's not wholly true either. Yes, they're getting a free ride, but you're not sitting in traffic. If you don't think it's worth it, don't do casual carpool -- get out of the line if you want.

    CL says

    I didn't take their money, ever, until recently.

    That's because it was free until recently...

    Look, I don't think anyone's rudeness is excused by anyone, but you're getting something out of it too.

  11. CL


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    11   9:26am Fri 14 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    corntrollio says

    Yeah, but that's not wholly true either. Yes, they're getting a free ride, but you're not sitting in traffic. If you don't think it's worth it, don't do casual carpool -- get out of the line if you want.

    Agreed, and I skipped it today and made it in much quicker! Of course, it was "Friday light" but still...

    But they fucked me. In order for me to get new riders I'd have to circle around, get back in line and wait AGAIN just to give them a ride. I totally agree that I have options and I'm exercising them by skipping it (at least today, and until I re-center myself).

    But still, the issue remains unresolved, since I've yet to exact my revenge! ;)

    bighorse says

    After your statement of telling him to get out if he likes; nobody wants to ride with someone whom just soured even a casual encounter. I don't think he was being arrogant by getting out. He did you both a favor. It'd have been awkward if he had stayed.

    You're right---and I did mean it to be scornful. You have options as a rider too--and if you don't like me preventing us from stalling on the bridge and don't want to wait for the minute and a half it takes to fill a tank, then piss off!

    Obviously, the riders don't appreciate how much it costs in gas and insurance, tolls, wear and tear, etc.

    (And your point is absolutely valid, but if the rider were truly appreciative he wouldn't think that stopping for gas were a teaching moment for me. He'd have waited patiently and quietly, instead of commenting at all).

  12. leo707


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    12   11:25am Fri 14 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    CL says

    But, what could I do to exact revenge on them if I were so inclined?

    When they get in the car, say nothing, hit the button to lock all the doors.

    Once moving affix a gas mask to your face; say nothing; begin playing Black Sabbath N.I.B. --or maybe The Wizard-- on a loop; drive them to the city as "normal".

    That is all...

    Seriously though I would have gotten out of your car too. You could have just said that stopping for gas actually allows access to a better freeway on ramp. You catch more flies --or casual passengers in this case-- with honey...

  13. TPB


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    13   11:35am Fri 14 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    CL says

    I'm really god-damned sick of the lack of appreciation the poolers have.

    Well if it makes you feel any better, I have 0 appreciation for them or sympathy for you. Your Goddam fucking car pooling, designed to save gas and all. Is actually creating grid lock, for the other 98% of the Traffic. Because the moron carpoolers over in the Carpool privileged lane, that lacks the basic skill of merging and changing lanes. Wont dare to merge over right to hit the exit at the end of the HOV express lane, until all of the traffic behind them are at a complete stop.

    So with in 10 minutes of the evening commute, traffic in the cretin lane is backed up 20 miles from North Miami all the way down to Coral Gables way past i95 and well into US1 North.
    So for every drop of gas you save in your precious Carpool lane saves, a 1000 gallons of Gas is wasted.

    Much like the time you wasted with your ill appreciative Carpool brethren.

  14. CL


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    14   12:07pm Fri 14 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    leoj707 says

    Seriously though I would have gotten out of your car too. You could have just said that stopping for gas actually allows access to a better freeway on ramp. You catch more flies --or casual passengers in this case-- with honey...

    You're probably right, but again, they apparently haven't put $50 in their tank lately like the drivers have.

    I'm the one waiting in line for their precious asses to sit in my car (and leave ink stains, dent my door--true stories), add weight to my ride for their occasional (tight-fisted) dollar? Fuck them.

    I used to let them ride for free since I thought they appreciated it, and some were worse off, etc, but I think they're mostly parasites looking for a free ride and too god-damned self-absorbed to consider for one moment that I was actually thinking off their safety when I stopped.

    But even if it were not so, why can't the delicate fucking genius be bothered to wait for me to fill my tank when I waited for them for 15 minutes for the ride? There are times when there are more riders than drivers so the cocksucker would have to wait on those days. Fuck that protocol---I'm literally in the driver's seat, n'est-ce pas?

    (By the way, when there were more riders I always took 3---never again!)

    (I picture a flyer --a manifesto, where I decry the assholes and explain my transformation into a rabid anti-carpool driver!)

    The GOP says

    CL says

    I'm really god-damned sick of the lack of appreciation the poolers have.

    {piffle}

    Also, I don't live in Florida---does it still count?

  15. Vicente


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    15   9:54pm Fri 14 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (1)  

    OK I'm not familiar with this "carpooling" arrangement you speak of. You pick up random strangers at a bus stop basically? Sounds like hitchhiking. Dangerous is the first word comes into my mind. On both sides.

  16. elliemae


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    16   10:07am Sun 16 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Protected  

    Sounds to me like someone's panties were in a knot before he got in your car. What's it matter when you get gas? Would it hold him up another five minutes?

    Seems like this was blown wayyyyyyyyyyyy out of proportion.

  17. Nomograph


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    17   11:53am Sun 16 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (1)  

    The GOP says

    Your Goddam fucking car pooling, designed to save gas and all. Is actually creating grid lock, for the other 98% of the Traffic. Because the moron carpoolers over in the Carpool privileged lane, that lacks the basic skill of merging and changing lanes. Wont dare to merge over right to hit the exit at the end of the HOV express lane, until all of the traffic behind them are at a complete stop.

    So, you claim that having more than one person in a vehicle renders them completely unable to merge?

    (1) You sound like a bitter idiot.

    (2) You live in Florida

    (3) You sound amazingly similar to tenouncetrout.

    Ladies and gentlemen, tenpoundbass/tenouncetrout has been reborn!

  18. APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch


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    18   1:24pm Sun 16 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (1)  

    Eat pork barbeque, beans and clams for a week before picking them up in a rental car. Get a car with child-guard locks and lock windows and doors when they get in. Let loose with the most ferocious stench you can must while you speed to a dangerous, violent part of town filled with warring crack gangs where a friend is waiting in another car. Pull up in front of a gang, jump out with the keys while your buddy is covering you in the getaway car. Once you're in, throw the keys to the rental car to the crack gang and get the fuck out while they're distracted by the easy prey in the rental car. Go to work as if nothing's happened. Read the papers the next day and enjoy the news of these jackals' dismemberment and immolation.

  19. leo707


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    19   1:49pm Sun 16 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike  

    Nomograph says

    (3) You sound amazingly similar to tenouncetrout.

    Hmm... perhaps one of 10oz's favorite topics was gas, and boy did he hate anything that was designed to conserve fuel.

    Nomograph says

    tenpoundbass/tenouncetrout

    aka - Done!

  20. HousingWatcher


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    20   2:02pm Sun 16 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (1)  

    I never heard of randomly picking up carpoolers off the street. Sounds dangerous. I bet it is illegal here in NYC since your now turning yourself into an unauthorized taxi. If you want to pick up strangers off the street, you need to buy a $650,000 medallion.

  21. elliemae


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    21   2:25pm Sun 16 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (1)   Protected  

    Nomograph says

    So, you claim that having more than one person in a vehicle renders them completely unable to merge?
    (1) You sound like a bitter idiot.
    (2) You live in Florida
    (3) You sound amazingly similar to tenouncetrout.
    Ladies and gentlemen, tenpoundbass/tenouncetrout has been reborn!

    I'm thinking that it's not the bass-trout, if only that he was able to formulate a coherent thought. The time on this forum is set to Pacific Standard Time, so the basster would have been fully baked by the time of that post.

    Also, Bass has continually asserted that he is conservative, not republican.

    GOP's lack of ability to utilizes appropriate punctuation is suspect, but still not comparable to the trout product we've seen.

    Therefore, my completely unprofessional and not even close to expert opinion is that this ain't the basster. And, by the way, even though we sparred many times, I do miss him in his kinder, gentler incarnation.

    I know that this isn't a popular opinion, but I'm being honest. There was a time when he was cool and fun.

  22. Nomograph


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    22   3:07pm Sun 16 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike (1)  

    elliemae says

    I know that this isn't a popular opinion, but I'm being honest. There was a time when he was cool and fun.

    It's him.

    Not many People. write like This, live in Florida, and Post conservative rants, look at his Other posts.

    He stopped being funny around the time Bearmarket left.

  23. Nomograph


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    23   3:11pm Sun 16 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Vicente says

    You pick up random strangers at a bus stop basically? Sounds like hitchhiking.

    Sounds more like anonymous gay sex to me.

  24. Vicente


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    24   4:59pm Sun 16 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    elliemae says

    so the basster would have been fully baked by the time of that post.

    I read an article lately that Mary Jane does not always lead to "laid back & cool" mood. For some people it can make them depressed. This lead to an even more interesting article about alcohol. That the "loose inhibitions" thing stems from cultural BELIEFS that this is what will result. That cultures without this strong belief, don't have nearly the problem of Uncle Larry ending up wearing a lamp shade and doing a strip tease.

  25. elliemae


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    25   6:33pm Sun 16 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Protected  

    Vicente says

    I read an article lately that Mary Jane does not always lead to "laid back & cool" mood. For some people it can make them depressed.

    I have done extensive research on this subject. It seems to me that it magnifies the mood - if you're happy, it makes you happier. Sad, sadder. stressed - stresseder (new word!).

    You don't feel physically numb, like with drinking. It's more of a mental thing.

  26. CaffeineAddict


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    26   6:36pm Sun 16 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (1)  

    Can someone explain to a non-CA person this 1 dollar to get on carpool lane thing?

  27. leo707


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    27   6:46pm Sun 16 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    CaffeineAddict says

    Can someone explain to a non-CA person this 1 dollar to get on carpool lane thing?

    http://www.ridenow.org/carpool/faq.htm

  28. corntrollio


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    28   11:42am Mon 17 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    CaffeineAddict says

    Can someone explain to a non-CA person this 1 dollar to get on carpool lane thing?

    It's casual car pool. Because the HOV lane can be mutually beneficial -- i.e. people who would have driven alone can now drive faster without sitting in gridlock and people who would have taken the bus pay less and get a better ride. There are kiss and ride-type areas where people wait for a ride across.

    It used to be free because the toll on the Bay Bridge was free for carpools. Now carpools pay $2.50 to cross the Bay Bridge, so usually the custom is for each rider (since the carpool lane requires 3 riders) to pay $1 each, and the driver covers the 50 cents. Rush hour toll on the Bay Bridge is $6 otherwise.

  29. thunderlips11


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    29   1:23am Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Protected  

    CL says

    (I picture a flyer --a manifesto, where I decry the assholes and explain my transformation into a rabid anti-carpool driver!)

    Do it and post it in the waiting area. Explain the price of gas, the waiting time, and the fact that carpooling, even with the lousy $1, is still a sacrifice on your part. You're not exactly making a fortune by taking the HOV-3 lane.

  30. kentm


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    30   7:28am Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    > You've messed with the wrong fucking carpooler today!

    He just walked back to the stop, a short distance away, with the girl, and you had to drive on through and pay full? Actually, it sounds like you lost that one, I'm afraid.

  31. CL


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    31   11:58am Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    kentm says

    > You've messed with the wrong fucking carpooler today!

    He just walked back to the stop, a short distance away, with the girl, and you had to drive on through and pay full? Actually, it sounds like you lost that one, I'm afraid.

    I totally did---that's why I'm pissed! He fucked me, despite my waiting, my wear and tear, my GAS (that the fucking prima donna was too good to wait for---despite the fact that my filling up was for their safety!). :)

    elliemae says

    Sounds to me like someone's panties were in a knot before he got in your car. What's it matter when you get gas? Would it hold him up another five minutes?

    Seems like this was blown wayyyyyyyyyyyy out of proportion.

    Eschew Obfuscation

    Exactly---and if the dildo had filled his tank recently instead of mooching rides, he'd know that it costs $50 to fill a fucking Camry. Shove that dollar up your ass and walk on back!

    Vicente says

    OK I'm not familiar with this "carpooling" arrangement you speak of. You pick up random strangers at a bus stop basically? Sounds like hitchhiking. Dangerous is the first word comes into my mind. On both sides.

    “Eagles are dandified vultures” - Teddy Roosevelt

    Also exactly right. There is a bit of danger, and if the people are fat it uses more gas, and they leave ink spots on my seat and have dented my doors before.

    And can you imagine if a hitchhiker had reprimanded me about when I should get gasoline? I'm giving you a fucking ride!

    Thanks all! I just wanted some commiseration mostly, but the revenge notions are rewarding too in an evil way. It seems that they mostly rely on flatulence, so maybe I do have a ride or two left in me. :)

    Peace

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