Welcome to the Outside forum, asshole!


By Patrick   Follow   Fri, 14 Oct 2011, 12:40pm   7,809 views   72 comments
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This new forum is a place where the rules of politeness do not apply. Say whatever you want. Shit on other people's comments. Forget everything you were taught about getting along nicely.

Enjoy.

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  1. marcus


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    33   10:50pm Mon 17 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Patrick is the Bouncer.

  2. Roidy


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    34   5:23am Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Dear Newt G.

    Hey hows it going? You doing ok with the GOP Pres Nomination? Good! Then why don't you lick Ann Coulter's sweaty, nasty, crusty ballsack, Bitch!

    Roid
    P.S. Ii really didn't mean that. What I meant was FUCK YOU, Ginrich!
    P.P.S. Thanks, Patrick. I do feel better.

  3. APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch


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    35   8:12am Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (2)   Dislike  

    Coulter loves to go to the zoo.

    It's the only place she can get sex.

  4. anonymous

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    36   9:03am Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike  

    Those poor animals!

  5. APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch


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    37   12:01pm Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike  

    She made a hippo commit suicide once. After she had her way with him and was enjoying a long, satisfying Chesterfield King, she pulled out some of her neofacist poetry and began to read to him. The twisted horror of it drove the animal to run straight into the wall of the hippo cage and crush his own skull. Coulter french kissed the dying hippo and whispered in his ear how she and her clan would barbeque him.

  6. terriDeaner


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    38   12:32pm Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike  

    APOCALYPSEFUCK is Tony Manero says

    She made a hippo commit suicide once. After she had her way with him and was enjoying a long, satisfying Chesterfield King, she pulled out some of her neofacist poetry and began to read to him. The twisted horror of it drove the animal to run straight into the wall of the hippo cage and crush his own skull. Coulter french kissed the dying hippo and whispered in his ear how she and her clan would barbeque him.

    I'm not buying this... for one, how did she get her penis into that hippo???

  7. Patrick


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    39   12:44pm Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    I bet Ann Coulter is hung like a horse.

    How many "women" have adams apples?

  8. APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch


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    40   12:58pm Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Terri,

    Coulter always arrives at the zoo with a ladder.

  9. TechGromit


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    41   2:01pm Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    "This new forum is a place where the rules of politeness do not apply. "

    Hey, Now I have a forum to upload all my porn to. :)

  10. terriDeaner


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    42   2:35pm Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Patrick says

    I bet Ann Coulter is hung like a horse.

    APOCALYPSEFUCK is Tony Manero says

    Coulter always arrives at the zoo with a ladder.

    Ah, this explains things nicely in both latin and "greek" terms...

  11. leo707


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    43   3:38pm Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    MarsAttacks! says

    bighorse says

    This comment has been shat upon by MarsAttacks!.

    Hey Patrick

    I just shat on a comment..but don't recall purchasing any points. Is there a bug here?

    Ack! Acck!

    Hey Shrek, I did two but it worked only once. I think we got a free point to try it out.

  12. Patrick


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    44   3:56pm Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Yes, everyone gets one free shit. Forgot to mention that. I'll update the announcement thread: http://patrick.net/forum/?p=1101111

    Woah, that's the binary representation of decimal 111. Freaky!

    The number of points you have can be seen at the bottom your profile. Click "Edit Profile" in the upper right to see what I mean. But where else might I display a user's current number of points?

  13. Roidy


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    45   6:31pm Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (2)   Dislike  

    Gentle Readers,
    If we took Ann Coulter's sperm and artificially inseminated Barney Frank, could we come up with a good, solid, pragmatic Moderate?
    Just a thought,
    Roidy
    Oh, here is the happy couple!

  14. APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch


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    46   7:00pm Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    More like Coulter could buttfuck Frank and incite a parthenogenetic reproduction cycle, delivering after a gestation period a shit baby with neonazi and socialist beliefs, or perhaps a two-headed shit baby, each imbued with one of these political points of view and condemning the shit baby to spend its life with one head biting the other on the face for its beliefs.

  15. Dan8267


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    47   10:50pm Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    APOCALYPSEFUCK is Tony Manero says

    It's the only place she can get sex.

    No, you're forgetting how awesome hate sex can be.

  16. Dan8267


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    48   10:50pm Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (1)  

    Patrick says

    How many "women" have adams apples?

    Damn, I need to start checking for those. I've been fooled too many times.

  17. Roidy


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    49   5:12pm Wed 19 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike  

    Gentle Readers,
    I see the 7 Dwarves are having another debate tonight. I can only assume they will be giving each other the usual fisting. Maybe Rick "Hey Mom! I made a C!" Perry will finally stop shitting his diaper in public and then tell me it's air freshener. Now, all we need is for Snow "Obama" White to drop by.

    Idiots.

    Roidy

  18. Roidy


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    50   5:07am Thu 20 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike  

    Gentle Readers,
    The Combover is still considering a 'run at the Presidency'. Normally I would just sigh and reflect a moment - a brief moment - before yelling "'FU Donald Trump."

    However, I realized that The Combover couldn't do any worse than the past 3 or 4 of the motherfuckers that we elected.

    So now I sigh. I look into the bathroom mirror, and I scream "Fuck you! Roidy! You simple minded fuck! You are so screwed you idiot, moronic, dumbass. GODDAMNIT! HE COULD GET THE CARROT TOP OR A KARDASIAN SISTER OR EVEN BILL SHATNER (No, wait! I'm a Shatnerologist. Scratch The Shatner. One shouldn't unnecessarily anger one's Deities. ) HUH, HUH, YES! THAT IDIOT WHO WROTE THAT MOP COMMERCIAL THAT GIVES ME A CASE OF BLEEDING PILES WHENEVER IT COMES ON ... AND WE WOULD BE NO WORSE OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!! "

    FUCK ME! I'M SO SCREWED! I CAN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!

    Regards,
    Roidy

  19. zzyzzx


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    51   12:06pm Thu 20 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Is porn OK here? All those "fuck China" and "double fuck China" comments have me thinking about some appropriate images I could post here.

  20. Patrick


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    52   12:21pm Thu 20 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    I think porn images would be going too far.

  21. zzyzzx


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    53   12:25pm Thu 20 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    How do I unshit on something?

  22. Patrick


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    54   12:37pm Thu 20 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Unshitting (cleaning off) a comment is not available yet. I'll get to that after I get Answers working. Answers is a new feature, hopefully to be finished tomorrow sometime:

    http://patrick.net/answers.php

  23. zzyzzx


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    55   12:31pm Fri 21 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    If I'm looking at this correctly, it's possible to shit on your own comments, right?

  24. Patrick


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    56   12:38pm Fri 21 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Yes, you can shit on your own comments.

  25. Roidy


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    57   3:49pm Fri 21 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Gentle Readers,
    A correction, please.
    Patrick wrote: "Yes, you can shit on your own comments."
    Shouldn't that be: "Yes, you may shit on your own comments."

    Another question, if I may.
    What is the past perfect tense of "He screwed the pooch."?
    Would this be acceptable: "He has screwn the pooch."
    Comments, please.
    Roidy

  26. Roidy


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    58   7:30am Sat 22 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    APOCALYPSEFUCK is Tony Manero says

    More like Coulter could buttfuck Frank and incite a parthenogenetic reproduction cycle, delivering after a gestation period a shit baby with neonazi and socialist beliefs, or perhaps a two-headed shit baby, each imbued with one of these political points of view and condemning the shit baby to spend its life with one head biting the other on the face for its beliefs.

    Gentle Readers,
    Would the shit baby look anything like a "Snooki"? I must confess that I am mystified by Snookies (sic). Still, I must ask.

    Upon further reflection, would it be like a Blankfein vs. a Paulson?

    Regards,
    Roidy

  27. elliemae


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    59   10:58am Sun 23 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Roidy says

    Patrick wrote: "Yes, you can shit on your own comments."
    Shouldn't that be: "Yes, you may shit on your own comments."

    Gentle writer:
    I believe that, as proprieter of this here site, Patrick was not only giving permission to shit, he was also stating that it was possible to do the shitting. So, both are correct.

    Roidy says

    Would this be acceptable: "He has screwn the pooch."

    Your usage of the English language was correct; it's the poor pooch about whom I is concernated.

  28. elliemae


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    60   11:01am Sun 23 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Dan8267 says

    Sometimes I like to wear a pink tutu and pretend I'm a ballerina princess. Don't judge.

    Wow. I'm speechless, and nauseous.

  29. APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch


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    61   6:22pm Sun 23 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Jesus called me on the cell today and said, 'If you are my disciple, you will hunt down this piece of shit Moynihan from the Bank of Asmodeus and stuff his face in your asshole and shit down his fucking throat.'

  30. Patrick


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    62   7:23pm Sun 23 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike  

    Naw dude, that was Jesus from the Tijuana Cartel. He's just pissed that Moynihan put all that dope cash in mortgage-backed bonds.

  31. Roidy


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    63   8:37pm Sun 23 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    elliemae says

    Roidy says

    Patrick wrote: "Yes, you can shit on your own comments."

    Shouldn't that be: "Yes, you may shit on your own comments."

    Gentle writer:

    I believe that, as proprieter of this here site, Patrick was not only giving permission to shit, he was also stating that it was possible to do the shitting. So, both are correct.

    Roidy says

    Would this be acceptable: "He has screwn the pooch."

    Your usage of the English language was correct; it's the poor pooch about whom I is concernated.

    Eschew Obfuscation

    Dear elliemay,
    I stand corrected.
    Thank you. You are most kind and a truly nice person.

    Regards,
    Roidy

    P.S. FUCK YOU! BankofAmerica, GoldmanSachs, J.P.Morgan, Citigroup, and all, I REPEAT ALL, of you European ASSHOLES who are looking to get bailed out by US. The United States. There is absolutely no other reason that you are dragging your feet on Greece. NONE! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! ..l., Geitner and Bernanke, too. You are the ones who are going to put this over on us. You blithering SHITS!
    P.P.S. Gentle Readers,
    I feel better... for the moment
    Your Servant,
    Roidy

  32. elliemae


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    64   10:18am Mon 24 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Roidy says

    Dear elliemay,
    I stand corrected.
    Thank you. You are most kind and a truly nice person.

    Thank you for your very polite response to my response to your post. It's always nice to know that that "Proper English for Dummies" volume didn't go to waste. It's damn hard to work the shit whut I learnt into every day conversation.

    However, you may have overused the "FUCK YOU's" in your post script, thereby reducing the shock value of the message. I'm wondering if you couldn't better make your point by describing in which ways you might want them to do the deed, such as, "Fuck you in your wallet, leaving a hole from which your rather substantial assets shall leak into a puddle of shitty securities..."

    Proper Etiquate…Ediquick…Eddyquake…
    er, Ah, hell, I mean, the right way to do it is to be descriptive and inventive.

    Your kind & loving servant,
    elliemae

  33. elliemae


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    65   10:21am Mon 24 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    APOCALYPSEFUCK is Tony Manero says

    Jesus called me on the cell today and said, 'If you are my disciple, you will hunt down this piece of shit Moynihan from the Bank of Asmodeus and stuff his face in your asshole and shit down his fucking throat.'

    Did you get his number from your caller ID? I could really use it.

  34. APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch


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    66   4:47pm Mon 24 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    It's a 900 number.

    elliemae says

    APOCALYPSEFUCK is Tony Manero says

    Jesus called me on the cell today and said, 'If you are my disciple, you will hunt down this piece of shit Moynihan from the Bank of Asmodeus and stuff his face in your asshole and shit down his fucking throat.'

    Did you get his number from your caller ID? I could really use it.

    Eschew Obfuscation

  35. elliemae


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    67   4:58pm Mon 24 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Hey - according to my tally, I've still got a shit left. Therefore I can give a shit what the 900 number actually is...

  36. Roidy


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    68   7:46pm Tue 25 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Gentle Readers,
    I have but one thing to write today:

    Comcast.Inc

    Now, I shall shit on Comcast.

    Regards,
    Roidy
    P.S. How do I earn the points for another pile of feces.
    P.P.S. FUCK YOU, Geitner!

  37. Roidy


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    69   8:15pm Tue 25 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Gentle Readers,
    I've developed a profound disgust with FOX News and The Huffington Post. Both of these "journalistic" organizations are, if I may, analogous to heaps of semen encrusted porn movie house seats that have had a thick coating power diarrhea from perennially ill k-nines. No Academy Award Winners will be found there. They are to journalism as Monica Lewinski and FPOTUS William Jefferson Clinton are to cigars. Their puerile attempts at fair and balanced reporting rise to the level of a clogged septic tank with all of the olfactory stimulation that is implied.
    If they ceased to exist over night there would be no greater contribution to American Politics made in the past 150 years.
    Fuck Them Both.

    Regards,
    Roidy

  38. Roidy


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    70   11:27am Sat 29 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    elliemae says

    However, you may have overused the "FUCK YOU's" in your post script, thereby reducing the shock value of the message. I'm wondering if you couldn't better make your point by describing in which ways you might want them to do the deed, such as, "Fuck you in your wallet, leaving a hole from which your rather substantial assets shall leak into a puddle of shitty securities..."

    Gentle Readers,
    Yes, ellimay is entirely correct. "FUCK YOU" should not be overused and so avoid diluting it's descriptive "punch" to the psyche. I am, however, at a complete loss. How do I find a word or words that will communicate the depth of my revulsion, horror, and abhorrence, toward these incompetent, criminal, fools who barely rate as toilet mold on a scale from bacteria to human beings. As a matter of fact, these people give toilet scum a bad name. Bank of America, Goldman-Sachs, JPMorgan, Tim Geitner, Hank Paulson, IMF, European Banks, etc. are organizations that exist to enrich their traders, executives, and (sometime) stock holders. But this has all been written and said before.

    With that in mind, I must, Gentle Readers, close for now. Still, before I do, I am compelled to leave you with this: FUCK YOU BoA, G-S, JPM, Tim "I have a little winkie" Geitner, Paulson, IMF, EuroBanks, and associated MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKERS WHO REACH UP THEIR COLLECTIVE ANUSES AND TELL US THE RESULTS ARE TASTY AND NUTRITIOUS!!?!!?!?! YOUR MOTHERS MUST BE SO PROUD OF YOU AND YOUR SUCCESS IN RAT FUCKING YOUR WAY TO THE TOP OF THAT TURD HEAP YOU CALL THE FINANCIAL INDUSTRY. GO FLOAT IN A OVER-USED REST AREA TOILET.

    Regards,
    Roidy

  39. elliemae


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    71   10:16am Sun 30 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Ask Miss Elliemae says:

    Roidy used the descriptive "Fuck You" appropriately because it brought more to mind than the regular visual people get when they hear a "fuck you."

    Ellie awards Roidy one "Fucketh Thou," (a good thing) and hopes to be able to award many more in the future.

    As an aside, Ellie once was fired for telling a supervisor "fuck you" when what she actually meant was that she hoped he never had sex again... she learnt her lesson that day.

  40. Roidy


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    72   3:16pm Sun 30 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    elliemae says

    Ask Miss Elliemae says:

    Roidy used the descriptive "Fuck You" appropriately because it brought more to mind than the regular visual people get when they hear a "fuck you."

    Ellie awards Roidy one "Fucketh Thou," (a good thing) and hopes to be able to award many more in the future.

    As an aside, Ellie once was fired for telling a supervisor "fuck you" when what she actually meant was that she hoped he never had sex again... she learnt her lesson that day.

    Eschew Obfuscation

    Gentle Readers,
    Thank you!

    elliemay, I accept your award in all humility and deference.

    Again, thank you.
    Regards,
    Roidy.

    P.S. Could someone please, please contact any Space Aliens you may know of, and present Dr. Alan Greenspan as a candidate for intensive anal probing and potentially criminal abuse of the Good Doctor's genitalia? I say 'potentially criminal' because it all depends upon Dr. Greenspan's willingness to participate in said activities.

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