Patrick.net

Welcome to the Outside forum, asshole!

By Patrick   Follow   Fri, 14 Oct 2011, 12:40pm   7,262 views   73 comments
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This new forum is a place where the rules of politeness do not apply. Say whatever you want. Shit on other people's comments. Forget everything you were taught about getting along nicely.

Enjoy.

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1. marcus Follow Befriend (5) 168 threads 5,100 comments

   34   10:50pm Mon 17 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Patrick is the Bouncer.

2. Roidy Follow Befriend 10 threads 78 comments

   35   5:23am Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Dear Newt G. Hey hows it going? You doing ok with the GOP Pres Nomination? Good! Then why don't you lick Ann Coulter's sweaty, nasty, crusty ballsack, Bitch! Roid P.S. Ii really didn't mean that. What I meant was FUCK YOU, Ginrich! P.P.S. Thanks, Patrick. I do feel better.

3. APOCALYPSEFUCK is Shostakovich Follow Befriend (28) 171 threads 4,222 comments Premium

   36   8:12am Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (2)   Dislike   Protected   Coulter loves to go to the zoo. It's the only place she can get sex.

4. anonymous Add Icon 0 comments

   37   9:03am Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike   Those poor animals!

5. APOCALYPSEFUCK is Shostakovich Follow Befriend (28) 171 threads 4,222 comments Premium

   38   12:01pm Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike   Protected   She made a hippo commit suicide once. After she had her way with him and was enjoying a long, satisfying Chesterfield King, she pulled out some of her neofacist poetry and began to read to him. The twisted horror of it drove the animal to run straight into the wall of the hippo cage and crush his own skull. Coulter french kissed the dying hippo and whispered in his ear how she and her clan would barbeque him.

6. terriDeaner Follow Befriend (7) 70 threads 1,151 comments

   39   12:32pm Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike   APOCALYPSEFUCK is Tony Manero says She made a hippo commit suicide once. After she had her way with him and was enjoying a long, satisfying Chesterfield King, she pulled out some of her neofacist poetry and began to read to him. The twisted horror of it drove the animal to run straight into the wall of the hippo cage and crush his own skull. Coulter french kissed the dying hippo and whispered in his ear how she and her clan would barbeque him. I'm not buying this... for one, how did she get her penis into that hippo???

7. Patrick Follow Befriend (54) 5,191 threads 6,158 comments 46 male Menlo Park, CA

   40   12:44pm Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   I bet Ann Coulter is hung like a horse. How many "women" have adams apples?

8. APOCALYPSEFUCK is Shostakovich Follow Befriend (28) 171 threads 4,222 comments Premium

   41   12:58pm Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Protected   Terri, Coulter always arrives at the zoo with a ladder.

9. TechGromit Follow Befriend (6) 85 threads 969 comments 44 male Egg Harbor City, NJ

   42   2:01pm Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   "This new forum is a place where the rules of politeness do not apply. " Hey, Now I have a forum to upload all my porn to. :)

10. terriDeaner Follow Befriend (7) 70 threads 1,151 comments

    43   2:35pm Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Patrick says I bet Ann Coulter is hung like a horse. APOCALYPSEFUCK is Tony Manero says Coulter always arrives at the zoo with a ladder. Ah, this explains things nicely in both latin and "greek" terms...

11. leo707 Follow Befriend (12) 10 threads 3,516 comments Oakland, CA leo707's website Premium

    44   3:38pm Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Protected   MarsAttacks! says bighorse says This comment has been shat upon by MarsAttacks!. Hey Patrick I just shat on a comment..but don't recall purchasing any points. Is there a bug here? Ack! Acck! Hey Shrek, I did two but it worked only once. I think we got a free point to try it out.

12. Patrick Follow Befriend (54) 5,191 threads 6,158 comments 46 male Menlo Park, CA

    45   3:56pm Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Yes, everyone gets one free shit. Forgot to mention that. I'll update the announcement thread: http://patrick.net/forum/?p=1101111 Woah, that's the binary representation of decimal 111. Freaky! The number of points you have can be seen at the bottom your profile. Click "Edit Profile" in the upper right to see what I mean. But where else might I display a user's current number of points?

13. Roidy Follow Befriend 10 threads 78 comments

    46   6:31pm Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (2)   Dislike   Gentle Readers, If we took Ann Coulter's sperm and artificially inseminated Barney Frank, could we come up with a good, solid, pragmatic Moderate? Just a thought, Roidy Oh, here is the happy couple!

14. APOCALYPSEFUCK is Shostakovich Follow Befriend (28) 171 threads 4,222 comments Premium

    47   7:00pm Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Protected   More like Coulter could buttfuck Frank and incite a parthenogenetic reproduction cycle, delivering after a gestation period a shit baby with neonazi and socialist beliefs, or perhaps a two-headed shit baby, each imbued with one of these political points of view and condemning the shit baby to spend its life with one head biting the other on the face for its beliefs.

15. Dan8267 Follow Befriend (16) 769 threads 7,714 comments Boca Raton, FL Premium

    48   10:50pm Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Protected   APOCALYPSEFUCK is Tony Manero says It's the only place she can get sex. No, you're forgetting how awesome hate sex can be.

16. Dan8267 Follow Befriend (16) 769 threads 7,714 comments Boca Raton, FL Premium

    49   10:50pm Tue 18 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (1)   Protected   Patrick says How many "women" have adams apples? Damn, I need to start checking for those. I've been fooled too many times.

17. Roidy Follow Befriend 10 threads 78 comments

    50   5:12pm Wed 19 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike   Gentle Readers, I see the 7 Dwarves are having another debate tonight. I can only assume they will be giving each other the usual fisting. Maybe Rick "Hey Mom! I made a C!" Perry will finally stop shitting his diaper in public and then tell me it's air freshener. Now, all we need is for Snow "Obama" White to drop by. Idiots. Roidy

18. Roidy Follow Befriend 10 threads 78 comments

    51   5:07am Thu 20 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike   Gentle Readers, The Combover is still considering a 'run at the Presidency'. Normally I would just sigh and reflect a moment - a brief moment - before yelling "'FU Donald Trump." However, I realized that The Combover couldn't do any worse than the past 3 or 4 of the motherfuckers that we elected. So now I sigh. I look into the bathroom mirror, and I scream "Fuck you! Roidy! You simple minded fuck! You are so screwed you idiot, moronic, dumbass. GODDAMNIT! HE COULD GET THE CARROT TOP OR A KARDASIAN SISTER OR EVEN BILL SHATNER (No, wait! I'm a Shatnerologist. Scratch The Shatner. One shouldn't unnecessarily anger one's Deities. ) HUH, HUH, YES! THAT IDIOT WHO WROTE THAT MOP COMMERCIAL THAT GIVES ME A CASE OF BLEEDING PILES WHENEVER IT COMES ON ... AND WE WOULD BE NO WORSE OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!! " FUCK ME! I'M SO SCREWED! I CAN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! Regards, Roidy

19. zzyzzx Follow Befriend (9) 416 threads 4,138 comments Baltimore, MD

    52   12:06pm Thu 20 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Is porn OK here? All those "fuck China" and "double fuck China" comments have me thinking about some appropriate images I could post here.

20. Patrick Follow Befriend (54) 5,191 threads 6,158 comments 46 male Menlo Park, CA

    53   12:21pm Thu 20 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   I think porn images would be going too far.

21. zzyzzx Follow Befriend (9) 416 threads 4,138 comments Baltimore, MD

    54   12:25pm Thu 20 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   How do I unshit on something?

22. Patrick Follow Befriend (54) 5,191 threads 6,158 comments 46 male Menlo Park, CA

    55   12:37pm Thu 20 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Unshitting (cleaning off) a comment is not available yet. I'll get to that after I get Answers working. Answers is a new feature, hopefully to be finished tomorrow sometime: http://patrick.net/answers.php

23. zzyzzx Follow Befriend (9) 416 threads 4,138 comments Baltimore, MD

    56   12:31pm Fri 21 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   If I'm looking at this correctly, it's possible to shit on your own comments, right?

24. Patrick Follow Befriend (54) 5,191 threads 6,158 comments 46 male Menlo Park, CA

    57   12:38pm Fri 21 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Yes, you can shit on your own comments.

25. Roidy Follow Befriend 10 threads 78 comments

    58   3:49pm Fri 21 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Gentle Readers, A correction, please. Patrick wrote: "Yes, you can shit on your own comments." Shouldn't that be: "Yes, you may shit on your own comments." Another question, if I may. What is the past perfect tense of "He screwed the pooch."? Would this be acceptable: "He has screwn the pooch." Comments, please. Roidy

26. Roidy Follow Befriend 10 threads 78 comments

    59   7:30am Sat 22 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   APOCALYPSEFUCK is Tony Manero says More like Coulter could buttfuck Frank and incite a parthenogenetic reproduction cycle, delivering after a gestation period a shit baby with neonazi and socialist beliefs, or perhaps a two-headed shit baby, each imbued with one of these political points of view and condemning the shit baby to spend its life with one head biting the other on the face for its beliefs. Gentle Readers, Would the shit baby look anything like a "Snooki"? I must confess that I am mystified by Snookies (sic). Still, I must ask. Upon further reflection, would it be like a Blankfein vs. a Paulson? Regards, Roidy

27. elliemae Follow Befriend (25) 413 threads 6,983 comments Saint George, UT elliemae's website

    60   10:58am Sun 23 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Roidy says Patrick wrote: "Yes, you can shit on your own comments." Shouldn't that be: "Yes, you may shit on your own comments." Gentle writer: I believe that, as proprieter of this here site, Patrick was not only giving permission to shit, he was also stating that it was possible to do the shitting. So, both are correct. Roidy says Would this be acceptable: "He has screwn the pooch." Your usage of the English language was correct; it's the poor pooch about whom I is concernated.

28. elliemae Follow Befriend (25) 413 threads 6,983 comments Saint George, UT elliemae's website

    61   11:01am Sun 23 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Dan8267 says Sometimes I like to wear a pink tutu and pretend I'm a ballerina princess. Don't judge. Wow. I'm speechless, and nauseous.

29. APOCALYPSEFUCK is Shostakovich Follow Befriend (28) 171 threads 4,222 comments Premium

    62   6:22pm Sun 23 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Protected   Jesus called me on the cell today and said, 'If you are my disciple, you will hunt down this piece of shit Moynihan from the Bank of Asmodeus and stuff his face in your asshole and shit down his fucking throat.'

30. Patrick Follow Befriend (54) 5,191 threads 6,158 comments 46 male Menlo Park, CA

    63   7:23pm Sun 23 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike   Naw dude, that was Jesus from the Tijuana Cartel. He's just pissed that Moynihan put all that dope cash in mortgage-backed bonds.

31. Roidy Follow Befriend 10 threads 78 comments

    64   8:37pm Sun 23 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   elliemae says Roidy says Patrick wrote: "Yes, you can shit on your own comments." Shouldn't that be: "Yes, you may shit on your own comments." Gentle writer: I believe that, as proprieter of this here site, Patrick was not only giving permission to shit, he was also stating that it was possible to do the shitting. So, both are correct. Roidy says Would this be acceptable: "He has screwn the pooch." Your usage of the English language was correct; it's the poor pooch about whom I is concernated. Eschew Obfuscation Dear elliemay, I stand corrected. Thank you. You are most kind and a truly nice person. Regards, Roidy P.S. FUCK YOU! BankofAmerica, GoldmanSachs, J.P.Morgan, Citigroup, and all, I REPEAT ALL, of you European ASSHOLES who are looking to get bailed out by US. The United States. There is absolutely no other reason that you are dragging your feet on Greece. NONE! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! ..l., Geitner and Bernanke, too. You are the ones who are going to put this over on us. You blithering SHITS! P.P.S. Gentle Readers, I feel better... for the moment Your Servant, Roidy

32. elliemae Follow Befriend (25) 413 threads 6,983 comments Saint George, UT elliemae's website

    65   10:18am Mon 24 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Roidy says Dear elliemay, I stand corrected. Thank you. You are most kind and a truly nice person. Thank you for your very polite response to my response to your post. It's always nice to know that that "Proper English for Dummies" volume didn't go to waste. It's damn hard to work the shit whut I learnt into every day conversation. However, you may have overused the "FUCK YOU's" in your post script, thereby reducing the shock value of the message. I'm wondering if you couldn't better make your point by describing in which ways you might want them to do the deed, such as, "Fuck you in your wallet, leaving a hole from which your rather substantial assets shall leak into a puddle of shitty securities..." Proper Etiquate…Ediquick…Eddyquake… er, Ah, hell, I mean, the right way to do it is to be descriptive and inventive. Your kind & loving servant, elliemae

33. elliemae Follow Befriend (25) 413 threads 6,983 comments Saint George, UT elliemae's website

    66   10:21am Mon 24 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   APOCALYPSEFUCK is Tony Manero says Jesus called me on the cell today and said, 'If you are my disciple, you will hunt down this piece of shit Moynihan from the Bank of Asmodeus and stuff his face in your asshole and shit down his fucking throat.' Did you get his number from your caller ID? I could really use it.

34. APOCALYPSEFUCK is Shostakovich Follow Befriend (28) 171 threads 4,222 comments Premium

    67   4:47pm Mon 24 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Protected   It's a 900 number. elliemae says APOCALYPSEFUCK is Tony Manero says Jesus called me on the cell today and said, 'If you are my disciple, you will hunt down this piece of shit Moynihan from the Bank of Asmodeus and stuff his face in your asshole and shit down his fucking throat.' Did you get his number from your caller ID? I could really use it. Eschew Obfuscation

35. elliemae Follow Befriend (25) 413 threads 6,983 comments Saint George, UT elliemae's website

    68   4:58pm Mon 24 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Hey - according to my tally, I've still got a shit left. Therefore I can give a shit what the 900 number actually is...

36. Roidy Follow Befriend 10 threads 78 comments

    69   7:46pm Tue 25 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Gentle Readers, I have but one thing to write today: Comcast.Inc Now, I shall shit on Comcast. Regards, Roidy P.S. How do I earn the points for another pile of feces. P.P.S. FUCK YOU, Geitner!

37. Roidy Follow Befriend 10 threads 78 comments

    70   8:15pm Tue 25 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Gentle Readers, I've developed a profound disgust with FOX News and The Huffington Post. Both of these "journalistic" organizations are, if I may, analogous to heaps of semen encrusted porn movie house seats that have had a thick coating power diarrhea from perennially ill k-nines. No Academy Award Winners will be found there. They are to journalism as Monica Lewinski and FPOTUS William Jefferson Clinton are to cigars. Their puerile attempts at fair and balanced reporting rise to the level of a clogged septic tank with all of the olfactory stimulation that is implied. If they ceased to exist over night there would be no greater contribution to American Politics made in the past 150 years. Fuck Them Both. Regards, Roidy

38. Roidy Follow Befriend 10 threads 78 comments

    71   11:27am Sat 29 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   elliemae says However, you may have overused the "FUCK YOU's" in your post script, thereby reducing the shock value of the message. I'm wondering if you couldn't better make your point by describing in which ways you might want them to do the deed, such as, "Fuck you in your wallet, leaving a hole from which your rather substantial assets shall leak into a puddle of shitty securities..." Gentle Readers, Yes, ellimay is entirely correct. "FUCK YOU" should not be overused and so avoid diluting it's descriptive "punch" to the psyche. I am, however, at a complete loss. How do I find a word or words that will communicate the depth of my revulsion, horror, and abhorrence, toward these incompetent, criminal, fools who barely rate as toilet mold on a scale from bacteria to human beings. As a matter of fact, these people give toilet scum a bad name. Bank of America, Goldman-Sachs, JPMorgan, Tim Geitner, Hank Paulson, IMF, European Banks, etc. are organizations that exist to enrich their traders, executives, and (sometime) stock holders. But this has all been written and said before. With that in mind, I must, Gentle Readers, close for now. Still, before I do, I am compelled to leave you with this: FUCK YOU BoA, G-S, JPM, Tim "I have a little winkie" Geitner, Paulson, IMF, EuroBanks, and associated MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKERS WHO REACH UP THEIR COLLECTIVE ANUSES AND TELL US THE RESULTS ARE TASTY AND NUTRITIOUS!!?!!?!?! YOUR MOTHERS MUST BE SO PROUD OF YOU AND YOUR SUCCESS IN RAT FUCKING YOUR WAY TO THE TOP OF THAT TURD HEAP YOU CALL THE FINANCIAL INDUSTRY. GO FLOAT IN A OVER-USED REST AREA TOILET. Regards, Roidy

39. elliemae Follow Befriend (25) 413 threads 6,983 comments Saint George, UT elliemae's website

    72   10:16am Sun 30 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Ask Miss Elliemae says: Roidy used the descriptive "Fuck You" appropriately because it brought more to mind than the regular visual people get when they hear a "fuck you." Ellie awards Roidy one "Fucketh Thou," (a good thing) and hopes to be able to award many more in the future. As an aside, Ellie once was fired for telling a supervisor "fuck you" when what she actually meant was that she hoped he never had sex again... she learnt her lesson that day.

40. Roidy Follow Befriend 10 threads 78 comments

    73   3:16pm Sun 30 Oct 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   elliemae says Ask Miss Elliemae says: Roidy used the descriptive "Fuck You" appropriately because it brought more to mind than the regular visual people get when they hear a "fuck you." Ellie awards Roidy one "Fucketh Thou," (a good thing) and hopes to be able to award many more in the future. As an aside, Ellie once was fired for telling a supervisor "fuck you" when what she actually meant was that she hoped he never had sex again... she learnt her lesson that day. Eschew Obfuscation Gentle Readers, Thank you! elliemay, I accept your award in all humility and deference. Again, thank you. Regards, Roidy. P.S. Could someone please, please contact any Space Aliens you may know of, and present Dr. Alan Greenspan as a candidate for intensive anal probing and potentially criminal abuse of the Good Doctor's genitalia? I say 'potentially criminal' because it all depends upon Dr. Greenspan's willingness to participate in said activities.

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