« previous   misc   next »

Welcome to the Outside forum, asshole!


By Patrick   Follow   Fri, 14 Oct 2011, 5:40am PDT   8,266 views   72 comments
Watch (0)   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

This new forum is a place where the rules of politeness do not apply. Say whatever you want. Shit on other people's comments. Forget everything you were taught about getting along nicely.

Enjoy.

« First     « Previous     Comments 33-72 of 72     Last »

marcus   Mon, 17 Oct 2011, 3:50pm PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 33

Patrick is the Bouncer.

Roidy   Mon, 17 Oct 2011, 10:23pm PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 34

Dear Newt G.

Hey hows it going? You doing ok with the GOP Pres Nomination? Good! Then why don't you lick Ann Coulter's sweaty, nasty, crusty ballsack, Bitch!

Roid
P.S. Ii really didn't mean that. What I meant was FUCK YOU, Ginrich!
P.P.S. Thanks, Patrick. I do feel better.

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   Tue, 18 Oct 2011, 1:12am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (2)   Dislike     Comment 35

Coulter loves to go to the zoo.

It's the only place she can get sex.

Add Icon anonymous   Tue, 18 Oct 2011, 2:03am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike     Comment 36

Those poor animals!

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   Tue, 18 Oct 2011, 5:01am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike     Comment 37

She made a hippo commit suicide once. After she had her way with him and was enjoying a long, satisfying Chesterfield King, she pulled out some of her neofacist poetry and began to read to him. The twisted horror of it drove the animal to run straight into the wall of the hippo cage and crush his own skull. Coulter french kissed the dying hippo and whispered in his ear how she and her clan would barbeque him.

terriDeaner   Tue, 18 Oct 2011, 5:32am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike     Comment 38

APOCALYPSEFUCK is Tony Manero says

She made a hippo commit suicide once. After she had her way with him and was enjoying a long, satisfying Chesterfield King, she pulled out some of her neofacist poetry and began to read to him. The twisted horror of it drove the animal to run straight into the wall of the hippo cage and crush his own skull. Coulter french kissed the dying hippo and whispered in his ear how she and her clan would barbeque him.

I'm not buying this... for one, how did she get her penis into that hippo???

Patrick   Tue, 18 Oct 2011, 5:44am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 39

I bet Ann Coulter is hung like a horse.

How many "women" have adams apples?

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   Tue, 18 Oct 2011, 5:58am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 40

Terri,

Coulter always arrives at the zoo with a ladder.

TechGromit   Tue, 18 Oct 2011, 7:01am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 41

"This new forum is a place where the rules of politeness do not apply. "

Hey, Now I have a forum to upload all my porn to. :)

terriDeaner   Tue, 18 Oct 2011, 7:35am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 42

Patrick says

I bet Ann Coulter is hung like a horse.

APOCALYPSEFUCK is Tony Manero says

Coulter always arrives at the zoo with a ladder.

Ah, this explains things nicely in both latin and "greek" terms...

leo707   Tue, 18 Oct 2011, 8:38am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 43

MarsAttacks! says

bighorse says

This comment has been shat upon by MarsAttacks!.

Hey Patrick

I just shat on a comment..but don't recall purchasing any points. Is there a bug here?

Ack! Acck!

Hey Shrek, I did two but it worked only once. I think we got a free point to try it out.

Patrick   Tue, 18 Oct 2011, 8:56am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 44

Yes, everyone gets one free shit. Forgot to mention that. I'll update the announcement thread: http://patrick.net/?p=1101111

Woah, that's the binary representation of decimal 111. Freaky!

The number of points you have can be seen at the bottom your profile. Click "Edit Profile" in the upper right to see what I mean. But where else might I display a user's current number of points?

Roidy   Tue, 18 Oct 2011, 11:31am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (2)   Dislike     Comment 45

Gentle Readers,
If we took Ann Coulter's sperm and artificially inseminated Barney Frank, could we come up with a good, solid, pragmatic Moderate?
Just a thought,
Roidy
Oh, here is the happy couple!

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   Tue, 18 Oct 2011, 12:00pm PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 46

More like Coulter could buttfuck Frank and incite a parthenogenetic reproduction cycle, delivering after a gestation period a shit baby with neonazi and socialist beliefs, or perhaps a two-headed shit baby, each imbued with one of these political points of view and condemning the shit baby to spend its life with one head biting the other on the face for its beliefs.

Dan8267   Tue, 18 Oct 2011, 3:50pm PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 47

APOCALYPSEFUCK is Tony Manero says

It's the only place she can get sex.

No, you're forgetting how awesome hate sex can be.

Dan8267   Tue, 18 Oct 2011, 3:50pm PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (1)     Comment 48

Patrick says

How many "women" have adams apples?

Damn, I need to start checking for those. I've been fooled too many times.

Roidy   Wed, 19 Oct 2011, 10:12am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike     Comment 49

Gentle Readers,
I see the 7 Dwarves are having another debate tonight. I can only assume they will be giving each other the usual fisting. Maybe Rick "Hey Mom! I made a C!" Perry will finally stop shitting his diaper in public and then tell me it's air freshener. Now, all we need is for Snow "Obama" White to drop by.

Idiots.

Roidy

Roidy   Wed, 19 Oct 2011, 10:07pm PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike     Comment 50

Gentle Readers,
The Combover is still considering a 'run at the Presidency'. Normally I would just sigh and reflect a moment - a brief moment - before yelling "'FU Donald Trump."

However, I realized that The Combover couldn't do any worse than the past 3 or 4 of the motherfuckers that we elected.

So now I sigh. I look into the bathroom mirror, and I scream "Fuck you! Roidy! You simple minded fuck! You are so screwed you idiot, moronic, dumbass. GODDAMNIT! HE COULD GET THE CARROT TOP OR A KARDASIAN SISTER OR EVEN BILL SHATNER (No, wait! I'm a Shatnerologist. Scratch The Shatner. One shouldn't unnecessarily anger one's Deities. ) HUH, HUH, YES! THAT IDIOT WHO WROTE THAT MOP COMMERCIAL THAT GIVES ME A CASE OF BLEEDING PILES WHENEVER IT COMES ON ... AND WE WOULD BE NO WORSE OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!! "

FUCK ME! I'M SO SCREWED! I CAN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!

Regards,
Roidy

zzyzzx   Thu, 20 Oct 2011, 5:06am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 51

Is porn OK here? All those "fuck China" and "double fuck China" comments have me thinking about some appropriate images I could post here.

Patrick   Thu, 20 Oct 2011, 5:21am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 52

I think porn images would be going too far.

zzyzzx   Thu, 20 Oct 2011, 5:25am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 53

How do I unshit on something?

Patrick   Thu, 20 Oct 2011, 5:37am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 54

Unshitting (cleaning off) a comment is not available yet. I'll get to that after I get Answers working. Answers is a new feature, hopefully to be finished tomorrow sometime:

http://patrick.net/answers.php

zzyzzx   Fri, 21 Oct 2011, 5:31am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 55

If I'm looking at this correctly, it's possible to shit on your own comments, right?

Patrick   Fri, 21 Oct 2011, 5:38am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 56

Yes, you can shit on your own comments.

Roidy   Fri, 21 Oct 2011, 8:49am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 57

Gentle Readers,
A correction, please.
Patrick wrote: "Yes, you can shit on your own comments."
Shouldn't that be: "Yes, you may shit on your own comments."

Another question, if I may.
What is the past perfect tense of "He screwed the pooch."?
Would this be acceptable: "He has screwn the pooch."
Comments, please.
Roidy

Roidy   Sat, 22 Oct 2011, 12:30am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 58

APOCALYPSEFUCK is Tony Manero says

More like Coulter could buttfuck Frank and incite a parthenogenetic reproduction cycle, delivering after a gestation period a shit baby with neonazi and socialist beliefs, or perhaps a two-headed shit baby, each imbued with one of these political points of view and condemning the shit baby to spend its life with one head biting the other on the face for its beliefs.

Gentle Readers,
Would the shit baby look anything like a "Snooki"? I must confess that I am mystified by Snookies (sic). Still, I must ask.

Upon further reflection, would it be like a Blankfein vs. a Paulson?

Regards,
Roidy

elliemae   Sun, 23 Oct 2011, 3:58am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 59

Roidy says

Patrick wrote: "Yes, you can shit on your own comments."
Shouldn't that be: "Yes, you may shit on your own comments."

Gentle writer:
I believe that, as proprieter of this here site, Patrick was not only giving permission to shit, he was also stating that it was possible to do the shitting. So, both are correct.

Roidy says

Would this be acceptable: "He has screwn the pooch."

Your usage of the English language was correct; it's the poor pooch about whom I is concernated.

elliemae   Sun, 23 Oct 2011, 4:01am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 60

Dan8267 says

Sometimes I like to wear a pink tutu and pretend I'm a ballerina princess. Don't judge.

Wow. I'm speechless, and nauseous.

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   Sun, 23 Oct 2011, 11:22am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 61

Jesus called me on the cell today and said, 'If you are my disciple, you will hunt down this piece of shit Moynihan from the Bank of Asmodeus and stuff his face in your asshole and shit down his fucking throat.'

Patrick   Sun, 23 Oct 2011, 12:23pm PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike     Comment 62

Naw dude, that was Jesus from the Tijuana Cartel. He's just pissed that Moynihan put all that dope cash in mortgage-backed bonds.

Roidy   Sun, 23 Oct 2011, 1:37pm PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 63

elliemae says

Roidy says

Patrick wrote: "Yes, you can shit on your own comments."

Shouldn't that be: "Yes, you may shit on your own comments."

Gentle writer:

I believe that, as proprieter of this here site, Patrick was not only giving permission to shit, he was also stating that it was possible to do the shitting. So, both are correct.

Roidy says

Would this be acceptable: "He has screwn the pooch."

Your usage of the English language was correct; it's the poor pooch about whom I is concernated.

Eschew Obfuscation

Dear elliemay,
I stand corrected.
Thank you. You are most kind and a truly nice person.

Regards,
Roidy

P.S. FUCK YOU! BankofAmerica, GoldmanSachs, J.P.Morgan, Citigroup, and all, I REPEAT ALL, of you European ASSHOLES who are looking to get bailed out by US. The United States. There is absolutely no other reason that you are dragging your feet on Greece. NONE! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! ..l., Geitner and Bernanke, too. You are the ones who are going to put this over on us. You blithering SHITS!
P.P.S. Gentle Readers,
I feel better... for the moment
Your Servant,
Roidy

elliemae   Mon, 24 Oct 2011, 3:18am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 64

Roidy says

Dear elliemay,
I stand corrected.
Thank you. You are most kind and a truly nice person.

Thank you for your very polite response to my response to your post. It's always nice to know that that "Proper English for Dummies" volume didn't go to waste. It's damn hard to work the shit whut I learnt into every day conversation.

However, you may have overused the "FUCK YOU's" in your post script, thereby reducing the shock value of the message. I'm wondering if you couldn't better make your point by describing in which ways you might want them to do the deed, such as, "Fuck you in your wallet, leaving a hole from which your rather substantial assets shall leak into a puddle of shitty securities..."

Proper Etiquate…Ediquick…Eddyquake…
er, Ah, hell, I mean, the right way to do it is to be descriptive and inventive.

Your kind & loving servant,
elliemae

elliemae   Mon, 24 Oct 2011, 3:21am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 65

APOCALYPSEFUCK is Tony Manero says

Jesus called me on the cell today and said, 'If you are my disciple, you will hunt down this piece of shit Moynihan from the Bank of Asmodeus and stuff his face in your asshole and shit down his fucking throat.'

Did you get his number from your caller ID? I could really use it.

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   Mon, 24 Oct 2011, 9:47am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 66

It's a 900 number.

elliemae says

APOCALYPSEFUCK is Tony Manero says

Jesus called me on the cell today and said, 'If you are my disciple, you will hunt down this piece of shit Moynihan from the Bank of Asmodeus and stuff his face in your asshole and shit down his fucking throat.'

Did you get his number from your caller ID? I could really use it.

Eschew Obfuscation

elliemae   Mon, 24 Oct 2011, 9:58am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 67

Hey - according to my tally, I've still got a shit left. Therefore I can give a shit what the 900 number actually is...

Roidy   Tue, 25 Oct 2011, 12:46pm PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 68

Gentle Readers,
I have but one thing to write today:

Comcast.Inc

Now, I shall shit on Comcast.

Regards,
Roidy
P.S. How do I earn the points for another pile of feces.
P.P.S. FUCK YOU, Geitner!

Roidy   Tue, 25 Oct 2011, 1:15pm PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 69

Gentle Readers,
I've developed a profound disgust with FOX News and The Huffington Post. Both of these "journalistic" organizations are, if I may, analogous to heaps of semen encrusted porn movie house seats that have had a thick coating power diarrhea from perennially ill k-nines. No Academy Award Winners will be found there. They are to journalism as Monica Lewinski and FPOTUS William Jefferson Clinton are to cigars. Their puerile attempts at fair and balanced reporting rise to the level of a clogged septic tank with all of the olfactory stimulation that is implied.
If they ceased to exist over night there would be no greater contribution to American Politics made in the past 150 years.
Fuck Them Both.

Regards,
Roidy

Roidy   Sat, 29 Oct 2011, 4:27am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 70

elliemae says

However, you may have overused the "FUCK YOU's" in your post script, thereby reducing the shock value of the message. I'm wondering if you couldn't better make your point by describing in which ways you might want them to do the deed, such as, "Fuck you in your wallet, leaving a hole from which your rather substantial assets shall leak into a puddle of shitty securities..."

Gentle Readers,
Yes, ellimay is entirely correct. "FUCK YOU" should not be overused and so avoid diluting it's descriptive "punch" to the psyche. I am, however, at a complete loss. How do I find a word or words that will communicate the depth of my revulsion, horror, and abhorrence, toward these incompetent, criminal, fools who barely rate as toilet mold on a scale from bacteria to human beings. As a matter of fact, these people give toilet scum a bad name. Bank of America, Goldman-Sachs, JPMorgan, Tim Geitner, Hank Paulson, IMF, European Banks, etc. are organizations that exist to enrich their traders, executives, and (sometime) stock holders. But this has all been written and said before.

With that in mind, I must, Gentle Readers, close for now. Still, before I do, I am compelled to leave you with this: FUCK YOU BoA, G-S, JPM, Tim "I have a little winkie" Geitner, Paulson, IMF, EuroBanks, and associated MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKERS WHO REACH UP THEIR COLLECTIVE ANUSES AND TELL US THE RESULTS ARE TASTY AND NUTRITIOUS!!?!!?!?! YOUR MOTHERS MUST BE SO PROUD OF YOU AND YOUR SUCCESS IN RAT FUCKING YOUR WAY TO THE TOP OF THAT TURD HEAP YOU CALL THE FINANCIAL INDUSTRY. GO FLOAT IN A OVER-USED REST AREA TOILET.

Regards,
Roidy

elliemae   Sun, 30 Oct 2011, 3:16am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 71

Ask Miss Elliemae says:

Roidy used the descriptive "Fuck You" appropriately because it brought more to mind than the regular visual people get when they hear a "fuck you."

Ellie awards Roidy one "Fucketh Thou," (a good thing) and hopes to be able to award many more in the future.

As an aside, Ellie once was fired for telling a supervisor "fuck you" when what she actually meant was that she hoped he never had sex again... she learnt her lesson that day.

Roidy   Sun, 30 Oct 2011, 8:16am PDT   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike     Comment 72

elliemae says

Ask Miss Elliemae says:

Roidy used the descriptive "Fuck You" appropriately because it brought more to mind than the regular visual people get when they hear a "fuck you."

Ellie awards Roidy one "Fucketh Thou," (a good thing) and hopes to be able to award many more in the future.

As an aside, Ellie once was fired for telling a supervisor "fuck you" when what she actually meant was that she hoped he never had sex again... she learnt her lesson that day.

Eschew Obfuscation

Gentle Readers,
Thank you!

elliemay, I accept your award in all humility and deference.

Again, thank you.
Regards,
Roidy.

P.S. Could someone please, please contact any Space Aliens you may know of, and present Dr. Alan Greenspan as a candidate for intensive anal probing and potentially criminal abuse of the Good Doctor's genitalia? I say 'potentially criminal' because it all depends upon Dr. Greenspan's willingness to participate in said activities.

« First     « Previous comments    

Patrick is moderator of this thread.

Email

Username

Watch comments by email

home   top   questions or suggestions? write p@patrick.net