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The best form of birth control was invented by Catholic


By Huntington Moneyworth III, Esq   Follow   Mon, 12 Dec 2011, 9:55am   6,165 views   29 comments
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The best form of birth control was invented by Catholic priests in 1250. It's called "fucking little boys in the asshole". It works wonderfully as butt baby impregnations are exceedingly rare. Doll up the boys with some powder and flowery scents and you have yourself a safe Christian party.

Other forms of birth control are heresey to the Church. You can put a rubber on and fuck the slutty school girl but you are still going to Hell.

This thread was forked from Catholic Church: Mandating birth control in health care violates 1st Ammendment by EastCoastBubbleBoy.

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  1. TechGromit


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    1   12:16pm Wed 14 Dec 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike (1)  

    When I was taking sex ed in high school, the teacher said that some hard core anti-abortion activists even considered the millions of sperm that die each time you have sex is considered taking life. These morons will not be happy until the world's population is 50 billion and were all starving.

  2. elliemae


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    2   11:04pm Wed 14 Dec 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    The best birth control is aspirin - held firmly between the knees.

    However, J Huntington Moneyswad has a point - if you limit your sexual experiences to either old women or little boys you don't have to worry about having babies.

  3. FortWayne


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    3   11:30am Thu 15 Dec 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike (1)  

    TechGromit says

    When I was taking sex ed in high school, the teacher said that some hard core anti-abortion activists even considered the millions of sperm that die each time you have sex is considered taking life. These morons will not be happy until the world's population is 50 billion and were all starving.

    They care about you until you are born, once you are born you are on your own.

  4. Nomograph


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    4   10:47pm Thu 15 Dec 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Cloud says

    Hmmm let's see...there are like 1 billion Catholics on the planet. You think maybe a few homosexuals out there figured out a way to be a part of that community and attack children?

    Better yet, they figured out how to run the whole thing so they can fuck all the little boys they want.

  5. Nomograph


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    5   7:20am Fri 16 Dec 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    It looks like the Catholics are still working overtime fucking little boys in the ass. I wonder what the priests do to each other?

    CNN says

    Thousands of children abused in Dutch churches over 65 years, inquiry says

    (CNN) -- Thousands and thousands of children suffered from sexual abuse in the Dutch Roman Catholic Church over more than six decades, and about 800 "possible perpetrators" have been identified, an independent Commission of Inquiry said Friday.

    http://www.cnn.com/2011/12/16/world/europe/netherlands-church-sex-abuse/index.html?hpt=hp_t3

  6. thunderlips11


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    6   12:19pm Fri 16 Dec 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Protected  

    How about kidnapping babies from their mothers for money?

    Up to 300,000 Spanish babies were stolen from their parents and sold for adoption over a period of five decades, a new investigation reveals.

    The children were trafficked by a secret network of doctors, nurses, priests and nuns in a widespread practice that began during General Franco’s dictatorship and continued until the early Nineties.

    Hundreds of families who had babies taken from Spanish hospitals are now battling for an official government investigation into the scandal.
    Several mothers say they were told their first-born children had died during or soon after they gave birth.
    But the women, often young and unmarried, were told they could not see the body of the infant or attend their burial.
    In reality, the babies were sold to childless couples whose devout beliefs and financial security meant that they were seen as more appropriate parents.

    ...
    Mr Moreno’s ‘father’ confessed on his deathbed to having bought him as a baby from a priest in Zaragoza in northern Spain. He told his son he had been accompanied on the trip by Mr Barroso’s parents, who bought Antonio at the same time for 200,000 pesetas – a huge sum at the time.

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2049647/BBC-documentary-exposes-50-year-scandal-baby-trafficking-Catholic-church-Spain.html#ixzz1gjNQZuZ0

  7. bmwman91


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    7   12:55pm Fri 16 Dec 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Protected  

    LOL

    Successful troll is successful.

  8. elliemae


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    8   9:38pm Fri 16 Dec 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike (1)  

    Cloud says

    Statistically, there are more homosexual predators in the ivy league than in the Church.

    Source, please. I think that you're full of shit - the catholic church has paid many millions of dollars in hush monies for acts against vulnerable people. I've yet to hear those kinds of monies paid to "ivy league predators."

    Cloud says

    How many babies you killed in your own womb huh? Or had killed in your girlfriend's womb? How many failed marriages you have No mo?

    I sincerely doubt that Nomo has had any babies in his womb, ever. I'm not sure that you understand basic human anatomy - men don't have wombs and are physically unable to bear children. Except Billy Crystal in a really bad movie, that is.

    So far as failed marriages, why go there? Catholics get divorced just like anyone else. They eat, shit, work, and walk among us all just like real people do.

    Cloud says

    I feel sorry for liberals like you who do not know the joys of family and going to Church, and having dinner together, and believing in God. You liberals have to ruin everything because you can't live up to any standard.

    So - let me get this straight - Catholics are all conservative Republicans? Are they excommunicated if they're conservative Democrats? Do they have to forsake independent thought processes when they're baptised?

    Liberals can't "know the joys of family and going to Church, and having dinner together, and believing in God?" We don't live up to any standards? To put it delicately, what a crock of shit. Catholics don't have a corner on the market for any of these things.

    Doesn't your religion promote loving thy brother? Don't ya'll shake hands with strangers in church and wish them peace? Or is this ritual only targeted toward conservatives?

    The only thing even remotely truthful is this:

    Cloud says

    what a bunch of assholes.

    You're included in that group, by the way. Happy holidays to you, asshole! And to all you assholes out there...

  9. Nomograph


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    9   7:17am Sat 17 Dec 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Cloud says

    Nohomo has a problem with Catholics huh? Cause you're a liberal you can bash Catholics and it's ok, you feel warm and fuzzy.

    Defend the child molesters. Go team pedophile. Rah rah rah.

  10. Nomograph


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    10   1:53pm Sat 17 Dec 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (1)  

    Cloud says

    hate . . . hate . . .Vampires . . . communist . . . Sick . . . hate . . . bankrupt . . . useless . . .scary . . . communist's . . . fucking selfish morons . . . cattle . . . ObamaSachs pigs . . . HUGE GOVERNMENT . . . sheepeople.

    Sweet rant, but what does it have to do with the Catholic church allowing priests to fuck little boys in the ass for decades, if not centuries?

    Go team pedophile. Rah rah rah.

  11. elliemae


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    11   8:59pm Sat 17 Dec 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Cloud says

    People like you...

    Yes, people do like me. You, not so much.

  12. Danaseb


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    12   12:04am Sun 18 Dec 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike  

    Cloud says

    People like you hate religion because it holds up a mirror and you hate the image looking back at you.

    Vampires hate the mirrors.

    Why is it that communist want to get rid of religion?

    Sick thing is the only reason you hate religion is because you have to look at your own life as being bankrupt and useless.

    The scary thing is what the communist's want is you fucking selfish morons.

    Because if they can rid society of religion then they can re- make human beings into cattle...

    Get it. The Chicago ObamaSachs pigs got you. Obama loves the rich man. Loves power. Loves HUGE GOVERNMENT...15 TRILLION and counting you sheepeople.

    No one as vapid as you or your faith could hold a mirror to anyone, you are only capable of blank statements reflecting no measure of reality.

    It is when the mirror is held by the capable educated to your type do we get scenarios resembling what you said, as illustrated by your hateful banter.

  13. NomoUzero


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    13   1:31am Sun 18 Dec 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (1)  

    Ahhh....if only those priest would have learned to dress in leather and danced down Folsom street in SF towing their little friends with dog collars. They would have been hailed as enlightened pinnacles of the community by this same demented little crowd that is so quick to smear an entire religion and not the specific actors.

    I would say 'get bent' but you already are leaning so precariously there is not reason to.

  14. ReasonNotFaith


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    14   3:38am Sun 18 Dec 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Cloud says

    Statistically, there are more homosexual predators in the ivy league than in the Church.

    I'd love to know where you read those statistics

    Cloud says

    what a bunch of assholes.

    The assholes are the people who are arrogant enough to think their own religious and lifestyle choices (like abortion, homosexuality, monogamy, etc) should apply to anyone other than theirself.

    NomoUzero says

    if only those priest would have learned to dress in leather and danced down Folsom street in SF towing their little friends with dog collars. They would have been hailed as enlightened pinnacles of the community

    If not, it would at least be a much healthier and better way to express/release their repressed sexuality than by victimizing young boys though the manipulation of your position as a respected holy elder in the church.... Wouldn't you agree?

  15. Nomograph


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    15   6:51am Sun 18 Dec 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    NomoUzero says

    Ahhh....if only those priest would have learned to dress in leather and danced down Folsom street in SF towing their little friends with dog collars. They would have been hailed as enlightened pinnacles of the community

    They didn't have to...the Catholic church already hailed pedophiles as enlightened pinnacles of the community.

    Go team pedophile. Rah rah rah.

  16. elliemae


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    16   8:30am Sun 18 Dec 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Nomo has a fan club!
    NomoUzero says

    Ahhh....

  17. elliemae


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    17   7:51am Mon 19 Dec 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (1)  

    Cloud says

    Even if it were a hundred, probably less, 10 percent of them have predator homosexuals in their athletic departments.

    Statistically speaking, half of all doctors graduated in the lower 50% of their class.

    So what is your point?

  18. thunderlips11


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    18   9:14am Mon 19 Dec 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Protected  

    Cloud says

    Even if it were a hundred, probably less, 10 percent of them have predator homosexuals in their athletic departments.

    That's a lot less than most seminaries.

  19. upisdown


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    19   10:08am Mon 19 Dec 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    What's really wrong with Catholics and birth control, because a world with less catholics is far better than one with more of them.
    Oops, maybe that's why they are against it so much.

  20. upisdown


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    20   12:08pm Mon 19 Dec 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Like pedophilia has been the ONLY transgression...........

    And you're viciously defending that "institution"

    Go team rah rah rah pedophile protector

  21. ReasonNotFaith


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    21   12:12pm Mon 19 Dec 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Cloud says

    10 percent of them have predator homosexuals in their athletic departments.

    I may be wrong, but it seems to me as if you may be considering all homosexuals, "predator homosexuals, although I do concede you may be referring to pedophiles, which are not necessarily homosexuals, as homosexuality has nothing to do with pedophilia, but I do understand you may be largely ignorant about homosexuals and homosexuality. I would appreciate some clarification on that point.

    After receiving that clarification, I'd like to know where you get that percentage of 10% have predator homosexuals, as I suspect you pulled it directly out of your ass. Further conversation about this is pretty pointless until those two issues are cleared up.

    Cloud says

    Your friends love this fact because you can use it to try to break-up the 2,000 year old institution. Your friends at work.

    This isn't a situation where all of the sudden after 2000 years of awesomeness, they screwed up. The Catholic Church has a long history of atrocities, organized pedophilia is just their latest offering.

    I'll say this again to make it clear for you... Homosexuality has nothing to do with pedophilia. Hemosexuals are not more pre-disposed to pedophilia than heterosexuals are. An attraction to young children and an attraction to adults of the same sex are not the same thing, and are not related.Cloud says

    I don't hear you limp wristed men and radical feminists looking for the downfall of Harvard?

    You should pay me a visit before you start assuming who is and who is not "limp wristed"... I'll shatter your stereotypical assumptions, and maybe a few other things...

    Cloud says

    Oppps sorry....communists.

    You truly are a world class idiot.

  22. NomoUzero


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    22   1:01am Tue 20 Dec 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (2)  

    ReasonNotFaith says

    If not, it would at least be a much healthier and better way to express/release their repressed sexuality than by victimizing young boys though the manipulation of your position as a respected holy elder in the church.... Wouldn't you agree?

    Went for a walk with my wife this weekend to do some Christmas shopping for our annual donation to St. Francis Hospital. Caught a pimp scolding and preening his teenage male, Thai prostitutes on Geary St. It worked out for him though because later they were gone, obviously sent off on 'dates' with someone "expressing their sexuality."

    I wonder what those boys get to tell their mother about this enlightened corner of America.

    PS...Guys...no rushing to Geary St. I am sure there are plenty of those little boys to go around.

  23. Nomograph


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    23   7:00am Tue 20 Dec 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    NomoUzero says

    Caught a Catholic priest scolding and preening his teenage male on Geary St. It worked out for him though because later they were gone, obviously sent off on 'choir practice' with someone "spreading the gospel"

    Go team pedophile. Rah rah rah.

  24. ReasonNotFaith


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    24   1:36pm Tue 20 Dec 2011   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike  

    Nomograph says

    Caught a pimp scolding and preening his teenage male, Thai prostitutes on Geary St.

    What does that have to do with our conversation about church elders using their position to victimize children?

    NomoUzero says

    I wonder what those boys get to tell their mother about this enlightened corner of America.

    American becomes more and more enlightened, as people learn critical thinking skills, and learn to stop blindly following 2000 year old dogmatic religions.

  25. Sputnik


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    25   10:01pm Sun 1 Jan 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (2)   Dislike  

    Let's be clear here. Pedophiles are people who have sex with children. They are NOT HOMOSEXUALS. If a man desires sex with boys, he is not homosexual, he is a PEDOPHILE. The terms are not interchangeable. You will not find glorification of sex with children in any gay setting. Pedophiles hide among the straight community, because that is where children are. They are often married and not even their own children are safe. Your gay neighbor or co-worker is not fantasizing about having sex with your kids.

    Here is a good (and accurate) accounting of the facts: &feature=youtu.be

  26. Nomograph


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    26   9:53am Mon 2 Jan 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Sputnik says

    Pedophiles hide among the straight community, because that is where children are.

    Most notably the Catholic church. Think Sunday school and alter boys.

  27. elliemae


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    27   10:14am Mon 2 Jan 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike  

    Cloud says

    But I don't hear you limp wristed men and radical feminists looking for the downfall of Harvard? No because this is the place where you toil away at your agenda.

    Keep talking, you make less sense as you go on.

  28. KILLERJANE


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    28   9:19pm Thu 12 Jan 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Empty thought.

  29. KILLERJANE


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    29   9:28pm Thu 12 Jan 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    The reason why catholic priests were disallowed from marriage, and sex eventually was because of money. You see, before, when they were allowed to be married, and have a family they would leave their financial possessions to their remaining family. This took money away from the church. So, the church changed the rules.
    If they hadn't been deprived of sex then maybe, just maybe, they wouldn't of abused so many.

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