Watchhttp://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/53115950-78/parents-gay-student-students.html.csp
As part of their efforts to be proactive about bullying, a school in Utah notified a kid's parents that he was gay. The kid didn't want to tell them, but hey - gotta keep him safe from bullies.
I wonder, though - does the school "out" geeks to their family members? "Your child is a geek, and that opens up the possibility of being bullied because all he does is play video games and goof off on his computer. He's awkward around girls and we're concerned that he'll never be anything more than a multi-billionaire computer god."
It's a valid question.
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In seriousness though, I'm not sure what the school should have done in this case. Seems like there's no good result no matter what course the school officials took. I know that I would have taken the bullies and hung them from their underwear on the flagpole for everyone else in the school to laugh at them while hurling monkey feces, but I'm sure some parents would have a problem with that.
I don't think it's plausible to hide the reasons for the bullying while letting the parents know about it. The first questions they are going to ask is what was said and done to their kid.
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Bap33 says
Maybe Bap is a pedophile and wishes to be thought of as no worse than a homosexual ?
Here is a clue for your primitive small brain Bap. Does the term "2 consenting adults" mean anything to you ?
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elliemae says
Thanks for outing me, you jerk!
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Bullies play an important part of underclass society. Bullies condition the underclass masses into accepting that being different is fucking gay.
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And right on schedule, another "family values" Republican has just been outed as gay:
http://www.bostonherald.com/news/national/south/view/20111216mississippi_mayors_gay_sex_shop_purchase_billed_to_city/srvc=home&position=recent
So here is my challenge to ALL "family values" Republicans: to prove you are not gay, you must have sex with a female prostitute. Don't worry. You won't lose your job when you are caught. David Vitter can vouch that. If you don't hire a female hooker, and yes the hooker must be female, then we will be forced to assume you are gay.
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what is to be done when the bully is a self-proclaimed sexual deviant?
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Sounds like the 'outing' wasn't done without the kids support, albeit reluctant.
Of course, encouraging (even with good intent) a kid to come out to his parents probably a bad idea most of the time. So many people are stuck believing in fairy-tales (like Christianity) that impose some bizarre morals that it's just not worth the risk. Let the kid come out in college when he's able to support himself if his parents are pathetic enough to not support their kid simply because of what turns him on.
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Dan8267 says
I don't think it's reasonable or plausible to hide anything about a child from their parents, especially if you work for a public school.
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ReasonNotFaith says
If the kid wanted his his parents to know, he'd have told them. Some parents are supportive while some aren't. The school had no right to force the issue.
Schools aren't there to tell parents everything about a child, just everything as it relates to his education. They could have told the parents that he was being bullied without going into specifics. As much as I would want to know that my child was gay, I would want him to tell me on his own rather than feel that he had no choice.
My kids & I have a good relationship, but I don't know everything about them. It'd probably kill me if I did...
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I understand what you're saying, and what you a're saying is reasonable. But your relationship with your kids, and your wishes regarding your kids, doesn't apply to your neighbors and their kids.
The school shouldn't be in a decision to decide what a parent should and should not know. No one should be placed in a position by the government/public policy/law to come between a parent and their child.
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ReasonNotFaith says
Which is why the school had no right to come between the child and the parent and "out" him.
This wasn't related to his scholastic performance. This wasn't related to his attitude, his conduct or his social life. This was a victim of bullies, which happens all the time. It's like blaming the rape victim because of her clothing, or blaming the abuse victim because she shouldn't have left dishes on the table.
The child did nothing, but paid the price of having his sexual orientation openly discussed with his parents and other teachers. I just believe that there's a professional responsibility to give the amount of information that necessary, and no more.
A simple "Your child is being bullied and we are addressing the issue" would have sufficed. Instead, it became about, "Your child is being bullied because he's gay." IMHO it's wrong. This applies to my children, my neighbor's children, and the children I've never met. It's their life and the school had no right to force the issue.
If the child had wished to come out and asked for support, that would be different. It should always be the person's choice as to what information is shared.
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The school didn't come in between the parent and their child when they provided information about the child to their parent.
It is the parent that is 100% responsible for their children, not the school. The parent makes decisions about what is important, and not important when it comes to their children, not the school.
elliemae says
Then you can certainly request the school withhold information from you about your children, but allowing the school to withhold that information from other parents is simply not your prerogative, nor is it the schools.
We're not talking about teachers gossiping about the child, or about the school, for no reason other than bias against the student, picking up the phone, calling the parents, and tattling on the student. We're talking about an effort on the part of the school to actively withhold information about a child from that child's parents. That is simply wrong.
elliemae says
That's the problem right there. You don't get the privelage of imposing your world view or your morality onto all parents in your community.
If you were my childs school administrator, and you intentionally withheld information from me about my child, and I found out about it, I would become your worst nightmare.
Children have their own lives once they've moved out of my home. Until then, they are my children, and my responsibility, and you keep your goddam religion away from us.
That's precisely the problem with this country. Both conservatives and liberals... Everyone wants to be able to control what everyone else is doing. Conservatives want to control our morality, put everyone in prison for victimless crimes, and indoctrinate all of us with christianity. Liberals, want take over everyone's families and take parenting away from parents and hand it over to the "village." Both groups are assholes and are best served by staying away from my family.
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the "reason" for the bullying only worried about because of the Deviant Nation and their demand for enhanced punishment for actions against their Nation. Can't have it both ways. If you want to call some crime "hate" crime, then you have to call some bullying "hate" bullying.
Bullying is done to anyone with something so different about them that a large percentage of the rest of the group notices the difference. We all try to raise our kids right. Normal people dress their kids and send them to school in a manner that will help them fit in and not be targets. Boys are dressed in sports stuff and play ball games and physical stuff at a very early age, naturally -- unless the boy is a sissy. If a boy is a sissy, he is different from the norm and will be bullyed. Not just in school, but in life. Until he surrounds himself with sissy boys and they create their own gang ... like the GLBT Gang, or NOW, or ACLU, or whatever other groups are formed by those guys for protection from bullying. Until that time, he will be a target and bullyed because he is different from the normal group.
Maybe it's like the red-dot-on-the-beak thing?
Maybe it's like being a Conservative Christian on here? A person has to expect (not accept) being a target when they are different from the norm.
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ReasonNotFaith says
Jewish by birth, don't practice anything.
ReasonNotFaith says
So do you, from your post. But you can't control your children, you can make them your enemy for life with this attitude. They are who they are and should be accepted for this.
Bap33 says
No, bullying is done out of ignorance. Everyone is different and you're blaming the victim. Bap33 says
Your definition of a sissy could reach to Bill Gates, Albert Einstein and many other people who weren't "normal."
Take this several times a day, and turn off faux news.
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ReasonNotFaith says
Unless it is for an abortion or birth control - then it is OK to do that and it is somehow covered by the constitution. Give them a Tylenol or Benedryl? No way you have to have a parental consent for for that!
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Bap33 says
Wow, you are a good and faithful right winger because you manged to go from bigot-asshole to the victim status in record time. You might get a front row pew next week for that outstanding transition.
But it is nice that you and others like you like to wear your (selective)bigotry and religion on your arm like some kind of badge of honor because it let's the rest of us people know where you're at constantly. Your words and behavior are usually only JUST offensive but frequently you kooks do something really horriffic and destructive.
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Bap33 says
I have no idea at all what you are talking about...
elliemae says
It sounds like you practice sticking your nose into other people's business by trying to control other people's families. The dogma you have forces you to do that is what I was referring to as your religion.
People like you are largely why we'll probably end up home schooling our children.
elliemae says
What is it that I have said suggests I want to control anything that anyone else does, apart from protecting my own rights.
EightBall says
That's bullshit, I don't agree with that either. While I do support a womans right to safe, and easy to access healthcare, including the right to an abortion, I don't agree with the left's attempts to subvert the family (the rights of the family) by helping kids do things behind their parents back. This whole "it takes a village" idea is complete garbage.
upisdown says
You're right, Cloud truly is an obnoxious asshat.
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ReasonNotFaith says
yea .. I write pretty poorly. I was saying that the only reason there is a search for the "reason" for the bullying is out of the search for deviant victims and then the lable of "hate" can be tired to an action that is already wrong/bad/illegal. THe bullying was wrong, and that should be all there is to say about that. A white kid wearing a cowboy hat to an all black inner-city school would be bullyed and beat, but the media would laugh at the stupid choice made by the kid/parents to send him to school dressed as a cowboy, BESIDES being the only white kid there. Does that help at all explain my post?
@ellie,
if you read my post again, try to see that I was just giving my view of how bullying/bad bahavior is part of life and normally happens - no matter the "reason" for the bullying. I know that many sissys turned out just fine. And they were bullyed. Just like some cheerleaders were sluts, but still make good moms/wives. Sissy is subjective ... in some circles guy-A might seem to be a sissy, while in other circles he would seem to be a stud. Subjective.
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Huntington Moneyworth III, Esq says
Being homosexual isn't a problem because it is different. Being homosexual is bad because our liberal media celebrates it, and that corrupts the minds of our youth.
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FortWayne says
1. Being a homosexual isn't bad.
2. The media celebrates diversity... Sometimes too much.
3. A youth who decides they are a homosexual has not been corrupted. They have made a legitimate choice as to how to live their life.