Here's one for Shrek:
Harper: Georgia GOP should disown 'birthers'
These are people who believe that despite of the president producing his birth certificate, and the state of Hawaii certifying the authenticity of said certificate, that somehow a half century ago a Kenyan family posted a birth announcement in a Hawaii newspaper to begin a diabolical plot to install a Kenyan/Muslim/Socialist/ as president.
The attorneys representing the clients include California attorney Orly Taitz and Georgia State Rep. Mark Hatfield. Hatfield previously filed a bill in the legislature requiring presidential candidates to produce their “original, long form birth certificate,” despite no legal description or standard for such a document exists outside the confines of conspiracy based websites.
http://savannahnow.com/column/2012-01-25/harper-georgia-gop-should-disown-birthers
Taitz, for her part, has been fined $20,000 by a federal judge in Georgia for filing frivolous cases challenging the president’s citizenship. The fine was upheld by the U.S. Supreme Court, with the consent of conservative Justices Scalia and Thomas.

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I heard Obama is a Muslim as well - is this true?
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EightBall says
Wow. How deep does this rabbit hole go?
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First, admit it. You and the rest of the Democrat loyal types LOVE this brand of idiocy.
Birthers are a waste of everyones' time and energy. The correct response should be, "Not only are you a moron, but who fucking cares if he was born outside the US?" Seriously, why does it matter? It's a stupid law to begin with.
There are serious criticisms of Obama, actual issues to focus on. The Democrats LOVE to see crazy pooh being slung from the shortbus monkeys on the other side. It allows them to pretend that all criticisms of Obama are crazy. Keep your blinders on and focus all attention on the silly internet pictures of crazy teapartiers and birther nonsense. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
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Nomograph says
I also heard that Bill Ayers uses the Marilyn Monroe secret door to dictate communist party mandates to Obama - do you think Chavez and Castro are in on this too?
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Nomograph says
Nearly 40 years of my life were in Georgia. I can attest.
PRETTY DEEP!
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Cloud says
I heard that Obama threw a rock at a squirrel once.
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I heard he appointed all the same crony capitalists into power, continued the same international and economic policies, and generally continued to screw the US just as his predecessors did before him.
BUT, ya know, fuck it, that couldn't possibly be true. Everyone with a brain knows that all Obama critics are either "rigid-ideologues" or racists. Plus his speeches sound neat-o!!
Besides, everything is the rich peoples' fault. Rich being defined as making more than $200k per year, of course.
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CBOEtrader says
Unfortunately yes.
CBOEtrader says
Not correct at all. Obama did in fact extract us from Iraq, kill Bin Laden, and significantly change our foreign policy. There will be no nation building under Obama. He hits, kills terrorists, and leaves.
Obama has also been pushing for changes in economic policy and specifically taxes. It has been the congress which has blocked him at every turn.
CBOEtrader says
I don't agree. It's clear we're in a recovery now and he deserves a lot of credit. The money spent on stimulus actually did get to blue collar workers. (contrast this with the billions sent to Haliburton where most of it is now in Dubai) We're no longer occupying Iraq. Obama resisted calls for a ground war in Libya. (no thanks to McCain) Obama sacrificed short term tax increases to cut payroll taxes for the working class as well as extend unemployment. He also raised the minimum wage.
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CBOEtrader says
Yes, OBVIOUSLY stagnating wages among the lower classes and soaring incomes of Richie Rich, must be because of..... we aren't working hard enough. Yeah that's it.
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When did the government start giving birth certificates to Negroes? What's next? Letting monkeys, bears, and Irishmen out of the zoo to live in houses?
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Huntington Moneyworth III, Esq says
They get one that is 3/5ths the size of ours. That's why he couldn't produce a long form.
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Cloud says
It's never old news to stalwarts of the underclass intelligentsia like Donald Trump! He's going to blow this whole election wide open when reveals his endorsement for President.
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The existence of any birthers at this point is a testament to the stubbornness of the clinically stupid. Such people will never accept any proof that contradicts their bigotry. They are beyond hope and should be ridiculed and laughed at.
What I would like to see are all the birthers brought up one by one to admit they were idiots for ever thinking the president was born in Kenya.
The whole birther bullshit, started by Fox News, was a tremendous waste of time and media attention that would have been far better spent on real issues.
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The more I think about it the Birthers in Georgia, are not an embarrassment.
They are an accurate REPRESENTATION of GOP Georgia.
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Come on, the Birther movement is live-action comedy. If the Democrats were smart, they would fund it to help portray the Republicans as a bunch of tinfoil-hat kooks.
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shrekgrinch says
Dude, Shrekgrinch, take down that filter of yours.
I am the most vocal opposition to Obama on this site. Have you read any of the stuff I've written about him? I've gone on record as saying the guy should be brought before Nuremberg-like trials and hung for war crimes.
But when someone makes an untrue assertion against Obama, I'm going to refute it. The truth is far more important than politics.
Hell, if someone makes an incorrect argument for a correct conclusion, I'll tear apart the incorrect argument and show why it's wrong. Of course, then I'll give a correct argument for the conclusion. The point is that it's not sufficient to be right; you have to be right for the correct reasons. The analysis is more important than the conclusion. A conclusion can only be used once. A correct line of reasoning can be reused to solve many problems. Why does no one get this? It should be obvious.
You see, the problem with you Shrek, and your liberal counterparts, is that you let the conclusion drive the conversation. That's putting the horse before the cart. As soon as someone reaches a different conclusion from you, you immediately classify them as the enemy and the conversation degrades into a he said /she said ranting of ideologies and assertions. Conversations should be driven by facts and logic, not political agendas. Otherwise politics becomes religion, and we all know how much religion sucks.
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shrekgrinch says
There comes a point when if you believe the lunar landing was faked, you are a nutcase.
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shrekgrinch says
Tin Foil Hat Alert!
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Vicente says
This sounds like something someone in Southpark would say. Do you have a point, or are you simpy regurgitating what some muppet on TV was saying?
I'm not trying to be a dick, I'd actually like to discuss the implications of your statement-- but i wont presume to know what your point is until you tell me ;)
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shrekgrinch says
Are you a forum version of a beta fish? Fight first, ask questions later?
The constitution is the finest outline for proper central government power and limits of power ever written...but yes, this part of the constitution serves no purpose for us today.
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Dan8267 says
I like this guy.
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The real issue is clearly not about President Negro's birth, but the fact that he has not adequately proven that he is not dead.
I was visiting an old friend, Dupre Barbancourt in Port-au-Prince back in 1892, and we were tipping back a very fine rhum while discussing the fallacy of equality advocated by Firmin.
In the middle of one of my most eloquent arguments about the wretchedness of the underclass, we were set upon by a mob of Negroes. Not normal, lazy, slow, incompetent Negroes but fast DEAD ones!!! We hardly escaped these Hatian Zombi with our lives!
The current American President is a Zombi and no more alive than King Tut. Forget birthers. Count me as a Deather.
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shrekgrinch says
Dan8267 says
To which, shrekgrinch replies
Conclusion: Shrekgrinch thinks that Dan refuses to accept any criticism of Obama.
Yet even a cursory readings of Dan's posts regarding Obama shows a consistent highly negative opinion of the president including accusing him of committing capital offenses, which absolutely no Obama supporter would do. This clearly contradicts Shrekgrinch's belief that Dan is unwilling to accept criticism of Obama. In fact, Dan has criticized Obama far worse than anyone in the media.
Second conclusion: Shrekgrinch ignores what people actually are saying when he thinks they might be saying something that goes against his political beliefs.
I don't know how much more clear I can make this argument.
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Huntington Moneyworth III, Esq says
Normally I tip my hat to the astute Moneyworth. However, I find myself in disagreement on this issue. First, Haitian zombies are not real zombies. They are not undead creatures bent on the consumption of your brain, but rather drugged out homeless people. Although these homeless people are quite capable of spreading infection, the infection does not turn you into a homeless Haitian and therefore clearly is not a zombie plague.
However, zombies have been known to infiltrate the White House from time to time as we see in the following press conference.
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Dan8267 says
I second the second conclusion.
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Dan8267 says
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shrekgrinch says
Did shrek really just say he believed the lunar landings were fake based on the story of the boy who cried wolf?
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bob2356 says
There's this button next to Befriend, it's labelled Ignore.
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bob2356 says
I think so. Of course Shrek is the birther who isn't a birther so I would expect half assed denials followed by continuing arguments why no one should believe the moon landings.
Shrek is actually too entertaining to ignore.
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The difference betwen Shrek and ApocalypseFuck is that ApocalypseFuck knowingly distorts reality into a Mad Max dystopia. Shrek is more like Glenn Beck. He actually believes what he says.
iwog says
Thanks for putting the image of Shrek giving birth into my mind. I'm going to puke now.
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iwog says
:) Dead on.
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Vicente says
Never, shrek is the funniest thing on the internet. The fact I think he is actually serious makes it even funnier.