Your Performance evaluation arrived.


By TMAC54   Follow   Fri, 3 Feb 2012, 5:56am   1,560 views   4 comments
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EMPLOYEE EVALUATIONS: These are purported to be from actual federal employee
performance evaluations:

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and started
to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a
definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a
trap."

5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

6. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

7. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

8. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve
them."

9. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

10. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."

11. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all
together."

12. "A gross ignoramus --- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

13. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

15. "He's been working with glue too much."

16. "He would argue with a signpost."

17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one,"

20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

24. "He's got two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

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  1. elliemae


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    1   2:33pm Sun 5 Feb 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (1)   Protected  

    Although they are funny, I find it doubtful they are actual job evals.

  2. TMAC54


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    2   9:34pm Sun 5 Feb 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (1)  

    elliemae says

    Although they are funny, I find it doubtful they are actual job evals.

    If you don't believe me , just ask me !

    Excuse meow, Is this the humor section ?

  3. elliemae


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    3   10:33pm Mon 6 Feb 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (1)   Protected  

    Did the ducks get the job?

  4. TMAC54


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    4   8:08am Sun 12 Feb 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (2)  

    Sorry to have to tell you SillyMae.
    Those jobs had been outsourced to the chicken ranch.

    Madonna's is hiring.
    Carlos & Bro can help you get a job there.
    http://www.viddler.com/v/8475d618

    After you get the yob, you might consider attending classes on how to KEEP that yob.

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