WatchClocks in heaven
A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are lie-clocks. Everyone on Earth has a lie-clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh", said the man. "Whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating she's never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"
St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's Obama's clock," asked the man?
"His clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
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That's not funny at all. It just sounds like "We don't like that black man, do we?"
Obama may work for Goldman Sachs, but he doesn't lie as far as I can tell.
Please point out some specific lie.
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http://obamalies.net/list-of-lies
Deception is politics, black & white. This S.O.B. led us to believe that if he spent enough of our money, he would repair the real estate market. Are foreclosures finished ? What is the present interest rate ? WHY ? Was his motivation A. to get reelected ? B. To save his citizens ? C. To save financial institutions that would in turn help him get reelected ?
About the race card !
When I first studied Real Estate, 1980. the rule was to be color blind.
Clarence Thomas (Supreme court justice) later pointed out, this rule to be pretentious. "Deal With It", he said.
My Father taught me about prejudice. He would make fun of the ENGLISH. Seriously agitated if we brought home a friend with english background. He was raised in Ireland during some anxious times. Cussed Protestants, then he married one.
One great lesson;
Drove us kids through the middle of downtown Compton during the riots, era 1965. I remember a car still burning, glass in the streets, windows taped up, plywood covering entry ways to buildings. We stopped in at a barber shop. My Father, a self described "Sales Engineer" introduced himself to the Proprietor asking about the situation. I remember the heavy set (stereotypical black) barber opening a drawer and showing us a revolver. I want to remember the barber stating, any them M.Fs. come through this door, he would just blow their Fn heads off.
Any way we continued on to Watts to pick up Louie. Louie Was our Nanny. I have fond memories of Louie. Louie was warm hearted, easy going, she would kiss our boo boos all better, apply a band aid. She would listen to our petty little problems. She Fixed our favorite snacks. I do not believe having a black Nanny cured my prejudice problem. I still hold the English suspicious.
Patrick, I have joined you in the past, policing such ignorance as prejudice, You once posted my policy suggestions on prejudice. Thank You (incidentally)
Please reread this original post Objectively.
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TMAC54 says
Mother Teresa has lied like crazy. Especially about her god being real.
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TMAC54 says
As an Obama hater, I can say that Obama's evil isn't that he lies -- I have yet to hear even one Obama lie -- rather his evil is his policies like extraordinary rendition and kill lists.
What I find hypocritical is that Bush did lie, a lot, and about really important life and death matters. Bush's lies got us into an illegal war that killed over a million human beings and turned our military into a bunch of lawless thugs performing horrific crimes against humanity including rape, torture, and murder.
Whether you are going by the number of lies or the severity of the lies, Bush's clock is spinning way faster.
And this is coming from someone who thinks Obama should be tried for crimes against humanity, and if I believed in the death penalty, I'd say Obama should be up for it. Nevertheless, if you are going to judge Obama for doing X, you have to judge Bush for doing X equally.
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Patrick says
I didn't get that from this posting, but I haven't looked at TMAC54's other postings either.
Certainly, there are many social conservatives that hate Obama because he is black and has a foreign sounding name. And a lot of those idiots think he is a Muslim and was born in Kenya.
However, a lot of Republicans aren't social conservatives. I'm thinking about the wall street broker type, the CEO, the rent-seekers. They still hate Obama, but I don't think race has anything to do with it.
I think they hate Obama because he's a Democrat and they hate all Democrats that achieve power. Remember how much they hated Hilary Clinton? It wasn't because she's a woman because they love Palin, Bachman, and Ann Coulter.
They also hated Bill Clinton and Al Gore, white males. They seem to hate any Democrat that prevents a Republican from being president.
As for the validity of the joke, it seems lame because G.W. Bush is most famous for his lies regarding Saddam having weapons of mass destruction, ties to Al Qaeda, and so much more leading us into war. Lies that till this day, Republicans don't even acknowledge were outright lies, not mistakes. Whereas, Obama isn't known for any lies.
Sure, the Obama administration isn't at all transparent. But that's a different issue.
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Dan8267 says
Why did he present a fake birth certificate last year? According to Sheriff Arpaio's investigation, Obama's birth certificate pdf file is a forgery.
The same is true with his Selective Service registration card. Postal stamp date (year field) on that document shows only two digits instead of 4. Investigators presented multiple Selective Service cards mailed from that same post office few days before or after Obama's alleged date - all of them show year as 1980, not 80.
You are the smart one and those questioning Obama are dummies - it should be easy for you to explain why did team Obama presented forgeries for these trivial (for someone claiming US as his birthplace) documents?
As part of the "Bush lied people died" crowd you still blindly trust words of government officials while ignoring obvious evidence of fraud.
Nice work genius.
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I knew I should have posted this thread in the politics section ! Or maybe Patrick could design an ETHNIC forum. Ethnic humor only ? I look forward to the day this will no longer be taboo. Archie Bunker would be proud. Carlos Mencia is considered a statesman in race relations. I agree & applaud him.
Racism stems from the most primitive portion of the brain, yes, it's stem.
http://comedians.jokes.com/carlos-mencia/videos/carlos-mencia----20-million-of-funny
That race card will be used for decades to come, but damn, get some basis, put it in perspective.
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nosf41 says
He didn't, and Sheriff Arpaio is an idiot just like Donald Trump.
And even if you went back in time and made Obama's mama bear him in Kenya and video taped it, came back to the present and showed everyone, it still won't cause Obama to be kicked out of the presidency. Once in office, it's too late for any technicalities. That's what the Bush administration taught us when it stole the 2000 election through fraud and vote destruction.
nosf41 says
No I don't. I was one of the few people who said Bush and Cheney were outright lying about the weapons of mass destruction just to start a war.
Look, I want Obama out of office as much as you do. But the whole Birther thing is so freaking ridiculous that it makes anyone who upholds that conspiracy theory look as looney as the morons who say the lunar landing was staged, and that Big Foot is real, and that area 52 houses a crashed alien spaceship.
The only way to get Obama out of office is to run a real candidate against him. And sorry, but the Republicans fucked up this one by running only idiots. The only runner that would stand a chance against Obama is Ron Paul, but his own party has abandoned him. Paul at least would have gotten libertarians, some liberals, and fiscal conservatives. The bigot vote (25% of the total) would of course vote for whatever Republican challenged Obama.
Finally, if you're going to hate Obama, at least hate him for a good reason and not some bullshit about him being born in Kenya. There are plenty of perfectly legitimate reasons to hate Obama that don't make you look like a racist ignoramus. Just peruse some of my old posts if you can't think of one.
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Dan8267 says
So true
but in India she is holy cow..cant say a thing about her. She is a christian/minority and white
classic example of how Legend becomes more important than truth
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Dude, you just totally called Mother Teresa a cow. +1.
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Dan8267 says
Genius, it is easy to call other people names. Why didn't you address two questions from my previous post - two examples of fraud done by team Obama?
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nosf41 says
Because your examples are assine, and they have already been refuted beyond any doubt reasonable or otherwise. Obama's birth has been the most examined in all of history including Jesus Christ's.
But, OK, you want me to show how foolish your arguments are. Let's address the birth certificate PDF.
http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/birthers/birthcertificate.asp
Bamm! That blew that out of the water. Yeah, I wasted my time looking this shit up, so you better spend the 50 minutes watching all the videos.
What really gets me is that the people who believe that Obama's birth certificate was faked will not accept any evidence that counters this belief. And these same people also won't accept any evidence that:
1. Global climate change is real.
2. Climate change is caused by human.
3. Man evolved from monkeys.
4. Saddam did not have weapons of mass destruction.
5. The Bush administration knew there were no WMD and lied to the world.
Now that we have proven that the birth certificate is real and Obama was born in the United States, his selective service card from 1980 is irrelevant. We've already settled the issue of his citizenship. Sure we could spend time using the same damn techniques on his selective service card, but I'm not wasting my time doing that since it's already a mute issue.
The really sad thing is that we actually had an illegitimate president in G.W. Bush who clearly loss the election but was appointed anyway. And none of the people calling for Obama to be removed due to being born in Kenya were calling for Bush to be removed for stealing the election.
So let's just admit the truth. Every single person questioning Obama's birthplace is doing so solely because they want to get Obama out of office no matter what. You don't actually give a rat's ass where Obama was born, you just want him out of office. And if Bush was born in Kenya, you would not have any problem with that. You don't even care if Obama is thrown out of office on a false charge, just as long as he is thrown out of office. And that is exactly what is bad for you.
I want to see Obama thrown out of office and into jail for legitimate reasons. The reasons matter. Why Obama is removed from office is material. Creating trumped up false allegations to get rid of someone you just don't like is a bad thing.
So now all you birthers should admit that you are either idiots who have been duped by Fox News, or you are liars who would say anything to get Obama impeached.
And this is coming from an Obama hater, so don't give me any bullshit that I'm a biased.
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repo4sale says
You do realize we're not reading what you're saying, don't you?
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This joke was much funnier the first time I heard it, and the "clocks" hands moved at the rate of which people masturbate.
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elliemae says
Yeah, repo is even on my ignore list.
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repo4sale says
Do you even read other people's posts. The term "African-American" is not on the birth certificate you idiot!. The term "African" is and that term was in use during the 1960s. This was explained in the videos on the page I linked to.
Watch them. They refute all your bogus arguments.
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Dan8267 says
Show me one person who isn't a nutty social conservative that thinks Obama was born in Kenya.
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leoj707 says
Wouldn't the rate at which people masturbate differ with the size of the subjects "parts?" And hands? And whatever inanimate object they might incorporate into the act?
And of course we can't forget that the size of the gerbil matters too.
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Dan8267 says
A socially liberal (progressive Birther)....hmmm.
Searching..... nope. Occasionally find a Libertarian or two, but when you drill down with those folks it's always TALK about social "liberty" which means they are actually social conservatives who obfuscate with Constitutional issues. I should know, I was one.
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leoj707 says
Holy crap! I just had an idea to solve the energy crisis!
clocks + teenage boys = unlimited wind power
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Vicente says
Yeah, that's the reason why Libertarians always seem to go Republican instead of Democrat.
The Libertarian philosophy is suppose to be about social and economic freedom. And as a philosophy, it's pretty good. But the Libertarians seem to only emphasize the economic freedom.
Also, Libertarians don't accept the concept of public property like the atmosphere and oceans, and they lack the ability to apply game theory when implementing policies and as a result their philosophies get perverted by the implementation. If it wasn't for those two fundamental flaws, the Libertarian Party would be great.
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http://www.infowars.com/sheriff-arpaio-obamas-documents-are-amateur-phonies/
Fast forward to 42 minutes and watch Sheriff Joe Arpaio break this down in as absolute a manner as it can be.
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Some of you better wake up. Sheriff Arpaio isn't toying around with this and he's got the American people behind him. TREASON has been committed and all some of you can do is turn your head like Yellow Bellied Lizard Lickers.
Serve your masters and pay for it in hell. Karma will ultimately come for you and the crimes of ignorance. Knowing the truths and denying their existence is a crime in itself.
&feature=player_embedded
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They tried to send a subpena to the president. Ha ha. Like you can subpena the president.
Then they try to argue that you can't be president if your parent isn't a U.S. citizen even if you are a naturally born citizen. Yeah right, that will work. I guess you have to be descendant from a white land owner, too.
I'd like to see Georgia kick Obama off the ballet. Georgia will get zero votes in the electoral college.
Where were these assholes when Bush stole the 2000 election?
These idiots should be arrested for perjury by stating in court that the birth certificate is a forgery. Maybe Obama will send a drone after them.
solver says
Then why isn't Fox News arrested?
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Well, where were they? Maybe not FOX itself as the corporate entity, but they sure could go after some of them as well as those in the other outlets as well. Maybe many of them who turned their heads for sake of a buck should be banned from reporting ever again.
It' s obvious that there is mass collusion afoot and for what real reason? Why is it always a left vs right problem. Is this their way of keeping us at each others throats, while they masterfully create the magic trick behind their backs?
Who are the assholes? To me, the assholes are us citizens, both left and right, who simply bury our heads in the hole when we're paid to. "ASSHOLES AND ELBOWS"
America needs to get it's backbone back. How many innocents died in WWII because Hitlers police and henchmen, many who were German Jews themselves, sold out to the dictator. When do you draw the line in the sand and say enough is enough?
"Absolute power, absolutely corrupts" The left is to blame as much as the right. Bill Maher should be held as accountable for his words as they're making Limbaugh. All this crap of what's good for one is not good for the other needs to stop.
Fair is fair. PERIOD
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solver says
"But you know, it's just a COINCIDENCE I always vote Republican."
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So, every other dick that claimed he wasn't a US Citizen doesn't matter - Arpaio is the ultimate word?
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elliemae says
Arpaio is the biggest dick in the world. He personifies everything wrong with the criminal justice system.
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Solver is rapidly approaching my ignore list. If I want random bullshit from Infowars.com I can get it on my own.
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solver says
When all else fails, say "Hitler" or "Holocaust."
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elliemae says
Isn't that called "Godwin's Law"?
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wthrfrk80 says
Yes, and it's been invoked many times here. Usually it's triggered by conservatives.
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Dan8267 says
Often it's triggered by assholes. Conservative or Liberal, it doesn't matter. It's an offensive tool used by a tool.
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elliemae says
Agreed.
Of course, once in a while, a reference to the Holocaust is in order such as when discussing Darfur, Rwanda, and most recently Syria.
Unfortunately, there is still mass, systematic killing of innocents by their governments. One of the few legitimate reasons to engage in warfare according to post-WWII international law is to prevent or stop an ongoing genocide. Yet, the U.S. has not stopped any of these atrocities. Yet, we claim to have invaded Iraq for "humanitarian reasons".
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Dan8267 says
to make the president & his co-president appear more human?
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elliemae says
I managed to snap a picture of Cheney without his make up.
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ROFLMAO!
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Patrick says
The most obvious related to this forum would be every time he says that we should support government policies propping up house prices because they are about helping homeowners, when in reality they are about helping banks.
Also countless lies related to ObamaCare. For example, saying the individual mandate is about ending "cost shifting" and that it's the best way to make sure all of our premiums go down:
http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-503823_162-5166421.html
Really it increases cost shifting and makes premiums go UP. It was the quid pro quo with AHIP and other lobbies in Congress to increase government power and spending so they would support the legislation.