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Realtor Bestiality Response


By APOCALYPSEFUCK is Shostakovich   Follow   Sat, 14 Apr 2012, 5:36am   866 views   8 comments
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Just for the record, if you catch a Realtor® sexually abusing a neighborhood pet, who do you call first, the police or the animal rescue league?

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  1. Danaseb


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    1   9:08am Sat 14 Apr 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Whoever seems less likely to be in league with the Realtor® for the given neighborhood. Never underestimate their insidious social tentacles.

  2. HydroCabron


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    2   12:10pm Sat 14 Apr 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Trick question.

    Agree with the previous poster. Avoid the police, animal rescue, local churches and synagogues, and the battered women's shelter: such are infested with operatives holding real estate licenses, who will likely join in the abuse.

    Correct answer: photograph the Realtor® in the act, then knock down several pints of Ballantine Ale, a carton of Raisin Bran and a half-dozen burritos. Then take a nice long Ballantine Ale piss on the Realtor®'s face, followed by a mountainous shit in the same location.

    Photoshop the pet out of the photographs, replacing the image with that of a small child. Refer photographs to the local police department, who will facilitate relocation of said Realtor® to an enclosed structure full of cannibal Neo-Nazi serial killers. Oh: and throw in a wedding dress.

  3. bubblesitter


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    3   12:13pm Sat 14 Apr 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    APOCALYPSEFUCK is Tony Manero says

    who do you call first, the police or the animal rescue league?

    Actually,I'll call NAR first and ask them,is this part of their ethics.

  4. curious2


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    4   12:20pm Sat 14 Apr 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (2)   Dislike  

    If in Florida, don't call anyone, just "stand your ground."

    If anyone objects that dogs aren't people, so you can't defend them using that statute, simply reply that you thought the dog was a corporation.

  5. APOCALYPSEFUCK is Shostakovich


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    5   3:01pm Sat 14 Apr 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Perfect

    Indeed, this is the epitome of a Ballantine Ale moment.

    HydroCabron says

    Trick question.

    Agree with the previous poster. Avoid the police, animal rescue, local churches and synagogues, and the battered women's shelter: such are infested with operatives holding real estate licenses, who will likely join in the abuse.

    Correct answer: photograph the Realtor® in the act, then knock down several pints of Ballantine Ale, a carton of Raisin Bran and a half-dozen burritos. Then take a nice long Ballantine Ale piss on the Realtor®'s face, followed by a mountainous shit in the same location.

    Photoshop the pet out of the photographs, replacing the image with that of a small child. Refer photographs to the local police department, who will facilitate relocation of said Realtor® to an enclosed structure full of cannibal Neo-Nazi serial killers. Oh: and throw in a wedding dress.

  6. elliemae


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    6   3:37pm Sat 14 Apr 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    curious2 says

    If in Florida, don't call anyone, just "stand your ground."

    If anyone objects that dogs aren't people, so you can't defend them using that statute, simply reply that you thought the dog was a corporation.

    This was the best answer.

  7. FortWayne


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    7   7:13pm Sat 14 Apr 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Shoot first, ask questions later.

  8. freak80


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    8   7:15pm Sat 14 Apr 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    I'm appalled at the "bestaphobia" on this forum!

    Oh wait, never mind, bestiality really is quite nasty.

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