Patrick.net

Well this is one way to do a for sale by owner

By leo707   Follow   Fri, 20 Jul 2012, 11:06am   1,903 views   27 comments
In Oakland CA 94610   Watch (1)   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike (2)  

http://www.greatfamilyhome.com/index.html

Beyond the amusing marketing, I wish that every home for sale had this much info on it.

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1. Patrick Follow Befriend (54) 5,181 threads 6,153 comments 46 male Menlo Park, CA Premium

   1   11:13am Fri 20 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike   Really well done! As the sign suggests..... we offer for sale, our wonderful, cozy, slightly-retro bungalow located just a stones throw from the heart of Portland, in Beaverton, Oregon. We did everything right. Married ten years. Two kids: one perfect boy, one bouncy, perfect baby girl. We had almost no debt outside of our cars and we bought a house.... but, as with many marriages, our story ends in divorce. I'm not sure how this all happened... but, all I can is that as soon as your husband/wife starts using new texts languages like :/, or starts talking to you like a college kid.... check your phone bill - you're probably going to be in for a surprise. For me that surprise came in the form of a 22 year old college student who likes yoga... and, other people's husbands. Well, I liked him too .... and I'm sure one day I'll like him again. lol - So, I guess I can't blame her too much, right? This whole thing happened so fast (started in March, 2012), and while it has been the darkest hours of my life so far, it has also been filled with wonderful friends, neighbors and family who have helped in so many ways. It's the death of my marriage and the family I had as I knew it... but, that's all. I know that sounds crazy, but at some point you have to put the brakes on and realize that worse things are happening to someone else right now as you're reading this. As my wise Grandmother always say's, "Jews in Auschwitz would love to have your problems....". And she's right (aren't Grandma's always right?). This isn't the worse that could happen to me. Sure I'm angry, and every bit as sad as the sign suggests... but I'm also equally grateful for the life I do have and I know that the best the way to more forward for all of us is to focus on that. Hence my quirky marketing For Sale By Owner plan. :)

2. leo707 Follow Befriend (12) 10 threads 3,516 comments Oakland, CA leo707's website Premium

   2   11:17am Fri 20 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike (1)   I wonder though when the NAR is going to send her a cease and desist for not using the ® after Realtor®. Realtor Type Facts Beds: 3 Baths: 1 Sqft: 1,144* ...

3. PockyClipsNow Follow Befriend 19 threads 1,534 comments Los Angeles, CA

   3   11:28am Fri 20 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (3)   Dislike   I could use some tips about how to bag a 22 yo.

4. Patrick Follow Befriend (54) 5,181 threads 6,153 comments 46 male Menlo Park, CA Premium

   4   11:37am Fri 20 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (3)   Dislike   Apparently you should take a yoga class!

5. robertoaribas Follow Befriend (23) 55 threads 3,752 comments Scottsdale, AZ robertoaribas's website

   5   11:38am Fri 20 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike   my technique for hooking up with 22 year old women? start when they are 21 and wait a year!

6. TechGromit Follow Befriend (6) 85 threads 968 comments 44 male Egg Harbor City, NJ

   6   12:03pm Fri 20 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike   At my age the only way I'm hooking up with a 22 year old girl is with Chloroform and duct tape. :)

7. B.A.C.A.H. Follow Befriend (6) 5 threads 2,359 comments

   7   12:13pm Fri 20 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Techie, You ought to be very careful about sharing such thoughts you have on the internet. TechGromit says At my age the only way I'm hooking up with a 22 year old girl is with Chloroform and duct tape. :)

8. leo707 Follow Befriend (12) 10 threads 3,516 comments Oakland, CA leo707's website Premium

   8   1:42pm Fri 20 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (1)   If I was single I don't think I would want to date the type of person who would date someone almost twice their age.

9. zzyzzx Follow Befriend (9) 410 threads 4,107 comments Baltimore, MD

   9   5:16pm Fri 20 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Patrick says Really well done! I'd say that the husband did pretty well.

10. PockyClipsNow Follow Befriend 19 threads 1,534 comments Los Angeles, CA

    10   5:19pm Fri 20 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike   Yoga class! of course! But how not to pass gas during the relaxation? Thats a deal killer right there.

11. leo707 Follow Befriend (12) 10 threads 3,516 comments Oakland, CA leo707's website Premium

    11   5:21pm Fri 20 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (1)   PockyClipsNow says But how not to pass gas during the relaxation? Fart filtering underwear: http://www.myshreddies.com/flatulence-incontinence-underwear/c/11/mens-flatulence-filtering-underwear/

12. leo707 Follow Befriend (12) 10 threads 3,516 comments Oakland, CA leo707's website Premium

    12   5:23pm Fri 20 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike (1)

13. Patrick Follow Befriend (54) 5,181 threads 6,153 comments 46 male Menlo Park, CA Premium

    13   5:27pm Fri 20 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike   Yes, I've heard that yoga classes are very farty, not only because of the positions, but also because the class is filled with vegetarian bean and lentil-eating types. Good to know there is a technological solution. Should be required attire.

14. CrazyMan Follow Befriend 448 comments Campbell, CA

    14   5:30pm Fri 20 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Lucky guy :) B.A.C.A.H. says Techie, You ought to be very careful about sharing such thoughts you have on the internet. You're kinda new to the whole internet thing and how it works exactly, aren't you ;)

15. PockyClipsNow Follow Befriend 19 threads 1,534 comments Los Angeles, CA

    15   5:33pm Fri 20 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (2)   Dislike   1. Sign up for Yoga class 2. Don the 'NoFartyPants' pants. 3. Bag a 22 yo! THANK YOU EVERYONE!

16. CrazyMan Follow Befriend 448 comments Campbell, CA

    16   5:34pm Fri 20 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   You should probably be thin and good looking too. /sorry to burst your bubble

17. PockyClipsNow Follow Befriend 19 threads 1,534 comments Los Angeles, CA

    17   5:35pm Fri 20 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Also its probaby best to shut the eff up about RE, the fed reserve, and intrest rates around a 22 yo. (yet another tip!)

18. leo707 Follow Befriend (12) 10 threads 3,516 comments Oakland, CA leo707's website Premium

    18   5:38pm Fri 20 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (2)   Dislike (1)   CrazyMan says You should probably be thin and good looking too. That can easily be replaced by simply being rich. Well, I guess he does look thin...

19. CrazyMan Follow Befriend 448 comments Campbell, CA

    19   5:42pm Fri 20 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   Indeed, rich works too. I know this is morbid, but when she died I remembered thinking to myself "well, she finally got her wish to be thin".

20. PockyClipsNow Follow Befriend 19 threads 1,534 comments Los Angeles, CA

    20   5:58pm Fri 20 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   And they lived happily ever after!

21. Patrick Follow Befriend (54) 5,181 threads 6,153 comments 46 male Menlo Park, CA Premium

    21   6:04pm Fri 20 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (2)   Dislike   I admire Anna Nicole Smith. She knew exactly what she was doing. And I've heard that J. Howard Marshall died laughing, because he knew what he was doing too. He just wanted to piss off the family members that were hungrily waiting for their inheritance.

22. robertoaribas Follow Befriend (23) 55 threads 3,752 comments Scottsdale, AZ robertoaribas's website

    22   11:18pm Fri 20 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike   Patrick says Yes, I've heard that yoga classes are very farty, not only because of the positions, but also because the class is filled with vegetarian bean and lentil-eating types. beans/lentils only cause gas when you aren't used to eating them. I've been 99% vegan for quite a while, I eat beans every day, and they don't cause me any gas at all. My stomach has the proper bacteria to handle them. For yoga, don't eat anything for a couple hours before class, not even coffee to avoid any embarrassing emissions... I love Yoga.

23. HEY YOU Follow Befriend (4) 328 threads 913 comments

    23   12:44am Sat 21 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   I stopped clicking like. I enjoyed all the comments.

24. Dan8267 Follow Befriend (16) 760 threads 7,667 comments Boca Raton, FL Premium

    24   12:25pm Sun 22 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike   Size: 1,144 sq. ft. Built: 1949 Lot Size: 0.17 acres Taxes: $2,108.00/yr Location: Oregon Price: $169,000 I'd rather have the 22-year-old co-ed. Size: 36C Built: 1990 Butt Size: petite Downside: Like the house, she's a rapidly depreciating asset. Best to rent.

25. Dan8267 Follow Befriend (16) 760 threads 7,667 comments Boca Raton, FL Premium

    25   12:34pm Sun 22 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike   PockyClipsNow says I could use some tips about how to bag a 22 yo. Patrick says Apparently you should take a yoga class! Oh, yoga! I've been taking Yoda classes.

26. zzyzzx Follow Befriend (9) 410 threads 4,107 comments Baltimore, MD

    26   6:10am Mon 23 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (1)   robertoaribas says I love Yoga. Has doing the yoga thing worked for you yet? How many 22 year olds have you bagged so far from yoga?

27. zzyzzx Follow Befriend (9) 410 threads 4,107 comments Baltimore, MD

    27   6:11am Mon 23 Jul 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike (1)   leoj707 says If I was single I don't think I would want to date the type of person who would date someone almost twice their age.