Kids are horrible investments


By Peter P   Follow   Sat, 29 Dec 2012, 6:07pm   4,995 views   102 comments
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Kids cost a fortune to raise. Besides, they make you less adaptable to changes. They also increase your risk exposure in the unlikely event of a divorce. Kids are harmful to the environment because overpopulation creates all kinds of ills.

Is there even any tangible upside in having children?

* If you care about genetics, we are all 99.9% identical anyway.
* If you want followers, starting a religion is more practical.
* If you want a small and cute companion, get a pet.
* If you want to keep your surname alive, write a fucking novel. (Or better yet, start an immortal corporation.)

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  1. propitup1


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    23   8:51pm Sat 29 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Okay please explain this to me:

    The wealthier and the educated classes in America have few to no children and the poorer and less educated classes in America lots of children (usually the parents don't even bother to marry).
    Doesn't make any sense to me but, I think the wealthy and the educated just are afraid of breeding.

  2. Raw


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    24   9:06pm Sat 29 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Peter P says

    Raw says

    Get help!

    From you? Would you help me pay?

    Sorry, I have kids to feed. I invest in them to ensure their survival so that that can pass on my genes. If you really think kids are not worth investing in, your traits are will soon be extinct.
    http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2008/06/28/having-kids-makes-you-happy.html

  3. elliemae


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    25   9:09pm Sat 29 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (1)  

    Peter P says

    I just afraid they may be little brats who grow up into monsters. Perhaps I should have more faith in people.

    Some do grow into monsters, but I'd venture to guess that most grow into productive members of society. I wouldn't trade mine in for anything.

  4. Blurtman


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    26   9:34pm Sat 29 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (3)   Dislike  

    Everyone posting here was someone's bad investment.

  5. Meccos


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    27   10:04pm Sat 29 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    You get more deductions if you actually pay taxes... if not more money on your ebt card....

  6. Peter P


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    28   10:16pm Sat 29 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    propitup1 says

    Doesn't make any sense to me but, I think the wealthy and the educated just are afraid of breeding.

    There are many ways to pass on your trait (extension of your will-to-power). The wealthy and the educated have more options.

    If you write a book, you have a legacy. If you have followers, you have a legacy.

  7. Peter P


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    29   10:18pm Sat 29 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike  

    Raw says

    Sorry, I have kids to feed. I invest in them to ensure their survival so that that can pass on my genes. If you really think kids are not worth investing in, your traits are will soon be extinct.

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2008/06/28/having-kids-makes-you-happy.html

    As I said, all of us are 99.9% identical genetically.

    Wouldn't you rather have a museum to your name?

    How is my trait more special than yours? Why would I care if my traits are extinct?

  8. swebb


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    30   10:24pm Sat 29 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike (1)  

    Peter P says

    As I said, all of us are 99.9% identical genetically.

    Wouldn't you rather have a museum to your name?

    That 0.1% sure does make a difference.

  9. Peter P


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    31   10:25pm Sat 29 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike  

    swebb says

    That 0.1% sure does make a difference.

    Tell that to the OWS folks.

    But seriously, my essence is more than my genetics.

  10. justme


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    32   10:49pm Sat 29 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike  

    swebb says

    That 0.1% sure does make a difference.

    Yeah, I think so. No chicks seem to be overly impressed that I am 99.9% the same as [pick any famous person you like].

  11. Peter P


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    33   10:52pm Sat 29 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike  

    justme says

    No chicks seem to be overly impressed that I am 99.9% the same as [pick any famous person you like].

    Because you are also 99.9% the same as [pick any serial killer you don't like].

  12. justme


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    34   10:56pm Sat 29 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (2)   Dislike  

    Peter P says

    Because you are also 99.9% the same as [pick any serial killer you don't like].

    But so is [pick any famous person you like]. It's a double standard, I tell ya!

  13. swebb


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    35   11:05pm Sat 29 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Peter P says

    Because you are also 99.9% the same as [pick any serial killer you don't like].

    But...

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noncoding_DNA

    "fully 98% of the human genome is noncoding DNA"

  14. Ceffer


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    36   11:06pm Sat 29 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (2)   Dislike  

    Children fill you with overweening, swelling narcissistic pride in yourself, as if you have accomplished something, even if you only did what every other mindless rutting animal on earth does. They make you walk around in a sentimental, self centered daze, as everything is justified now because you are a parent, you can become hysterical, exact revenge, attack other people because they don't worship the spawn of your loins etc. etc. They make you highly irrational in a very pleasing, narcotic way, nature's little incentive to keep the rug rats alive.

    They can't escape until they are older, automatic captive audience when everybody else has told you to go to hell. If the kids are smart, they will act like they love you.

    They give you something to obsess over endlessly so you never get bored, and something to control.

    However, it doesn't matter how many kids you have or support, after about five generations out, if your kiddies have kiddies etc. there will be only about 3 percent of you left in any particular individual. You have been essentially erased as an individual by the great waring blender called genetics, sorry, no more you.
    What's left of you in genetic bits and pieces may wind up in some weird ethnically mixed backwater of gene pooling.

    Guess what, nature fooled you again to do something for it making you think you are doing something for you!

  15. Peter P


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    37   11:08pm Sat 29 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Ceffer says

    Guess what, nature fooled you again to do something for it making you think you are doing something for you!

    Not. Getting. Fooled.

    I rather be fooled by randomness.

  16. Lam


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    38   6:24am Sun 30 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Not everything has to be an 'investment' to make it worthwhile.

    In the long term we are all dead and it matters not whether you have offspring or not, and if so, whether they are good or evil, rich or poor. Do whatever you have to do. Life ain't a fsckin investment.

  17. Oxygen


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    39   8:17am Sun 30 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    government needs your kids' contribution to Social Security

    "As Countries Develop, Fertility Rates Usually Drop
    In the United States, for instance, the average fertility rate was 3.67 children per woman between the years of 1875 and 1925, dropping to a little above 2 children per woman in the second half of the 20th century. And that’s a good place to be, because 2.1 is the fertility rate sweet spot: It’s the replacement rate, ensuring that a country’s population doesn’t decline over time. (Because two parents each replace themselves, and then some. Get it?)"

  18. drew_eckhardt


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    40   10:58am Sun 30 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Oxygen says

    government needs your kids' contribution to Social Security

    Nope.

    They just need to dump the premiums into appreciating or interest bearing assets like treasury securities.

    In 2005 I got curious and ran my numbers. Assuming the retirement age did not increase, FICA tax rates didn't go up, and the wage cap did not increase faster than inflation I needed to outlast my statistically expected lifespan by five years to get a 0% inflation adjusted return on my contributions.

    Investing my contributions in a portfolio returning 3% after inflation would quadruple my benefit for the same 15 years (or support 4X the people), double my benefit until I died at 100, or allow me to draw 30% more forever with the principle remaining for my heirs (or to support future retirees).

    The current Ponzi scheme could also be preserved at lower cost by allowing young working adults to immigrate (no earned income credit for parents, no public schooling, no interval between government benefit eligibility and joining the work force).

  19. B.A.C.A.H.


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    41   11:15am Sun 30 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike (1)  

    Peter P says

    Kids cost a fortune ... they make you less adaptable.. increase your risk exposure ... are harmful to the environment

    If you care about genetics, we are all 99.9% identical anyway... If you want followers, starting a religion is more practical...If you want a small and cute companion, get a pet....If you want to keep your surname alive, write a fucking novel. (Or better yet, start an immortal corporation.)

    Welcome to the Bay Area, Cool and Hip. Welcome to the Values of the Hipsters.

  20. Moderate Infidel


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    42   11:38am Sun 30 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (2)   Dislike (1)  

    The only person who should have kids is me because my kid is way better than everyone else's.
    Other peoples kids are annoying.

  21. Peter P


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    43   11:40am Sun 30 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Moderate Infidel says

    The only person who should have kids is me because my kid is way better than everyone else's.

    I agree. If only you have kids, the world will be less overcrowded.

  22. Moderate Infidel


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    44   11:45am Sun 30 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike  

    Peter P says

    Moderate Infidel says

    The only person who should have kids is me because my kid is way better than everyone else's.

    I agree. If only you have kids, the world will be less overcrowded.

    I'm only having one though, so goodbye human race.

  23. Moderate Infidel


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    45   11:48am Sun 30 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    If overcrowding is the issue then we should get rid of cars as they outnumber humans and take up more space and resources. Lot's of dogs and cats gotta go too. Except mine of course.

  24. Peter P


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    46   11:50am Sun 30 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (2)  

    Moderate Infidel says

    If overcrowding is the issue then we should get rid of cars as they outnumber humans and take up more space and resources. Lot's of dogs and cats gotta go too. Except mine of course.

    No but we should make all roads toll-roads.

  25. mell


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    47   11:55am Sun 30 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    errc says

    Fighting to live another day really ain't worth the costs, so might as well eat a bullet for desert

    I fully understand that every decision is an economics decision. The flaw in your analysis, is using someone elses metrics. You shouldn't allow USDs to control every aspect of your life,,,you'll likely end up disappointed

    You were someones child at one time, do you regret being born? Seriously, what kind of self depreciating kinky shit are you in to

    I agree that it should not be the dominating factor, but it ties in with lifestyle and how you raise your kids. If you are happy without all the consumerism chances are you kids will be to, unless they get baited too much and switch to the dark side ;) Making money just to have more money is kinda pointless to me, but if you can translate that into more free time. early semi-retirement and a happier you through less consumption then it is worth it.

  26. elliemae


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    48   12:12pm Sun 30 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike (1)  

    Moderate Infidel says

    The only person who should have kids is me because my kid is way better than everyone else's. Other peoples kids are annoying.

    If overcrowding is the issue then we should get rid of cars as they outnumber humans and take up more space and resources. Lot's of dogs and cats gotta go too. Except mine of course.

    I love how you think!

  27. zzyzzx


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    49   7:23pm Sun 30 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (2)   Dislike (1)  

    Children are a giant sinkhole of time and money.

  28. zzyzzx


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    50   7:24pm Sun 30 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (2)   Dislike (1)  

    errc says

    I wonder how the amish would view your assertion

    Their children sure seem to provide a return,,,,

    You know, back in time when you could use your kids as cheap farm labor or sell them into slavery, kids were a real asset.

  29. zzyzzx


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    51   7:26pm Sun 30 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike (1)  

    Peter P says

    Is there even any tangible upside in having children?

    No.

  30. zzyzzx


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    52   7:27pm Sun 30 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike (1)  

    Moderate Infidel says

    If overcrowding is the issue then we should get rid of cars as they outnumber humans and take up more space and resources. Lot's of dogs and cats gotta go too. Except mine of course.

    Or make birth control mandatory.

  31. zzyzzx


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    53   7:28pm Sun 30 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (2)   Dislike (1)  

    Oxygen says

    government needs your kids' contribution to Social Security

    Or raise the age at which benefits are distributed.

  32. Call it Crazy


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    54   8:19pm Sun 30 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (2)  

    zzyzzx says

    You know, back in time when you could use your kids as cheap farm labor or sell them into slavery, kids were a real asset.

    What do you mean "back in time"??? I do that now!!!

  33. Dan8267


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    55   8:42pm Sun 30 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike  

    Peter P says

    If you care about genetics, we are all 99.9% identical anyway.

    Passing on my genetic code does nothing to help me. Sure, it helps my species, but I don't get anything out of it.

    Peter P says

    Kids cost a fortune to raise.

    When Apockolypsefuck's cannibal anarchy comes, kids may be a good investment for food.

  34. Moderate Infidel


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    56   2:34am Mon 31 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (1)   Dislike (1)  

    Procreating and multiplying is what living organisms do.
    Accept your function.

  35. CaptainShuddup


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    57   7:05am Mon 31 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike (1)  

    "Kids are horrible investments"

    Anyone that would make such a statement, are no doubt the same sort that would put a dollar in a change machine and then say...
    "There's just no beating the house with this machine..." after 4 quarters fall out the bottom.

  36. Dan8267


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    58   7:48am Mon 31 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Peter P says

    Kids are horrible investments

    It's time to short my shorties.

  37. Raw


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    59   9:17am Mon 31 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like   Dislike  

    Dan8267 says

    Peter P says

    If you care about genetics, we are all 99.9% identical anyway.

    Passing on my genetic code does nothing to help me. Sure, it helps my species, but I don't get anything out of it.

    You guys have a malfunctioning genetic code. There is only one way natural selection deals with a malfunction......recycle bin.

  38. Dan8267


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    60   10:50am Mon 31 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (3)   Dislike  

    Raw says

    You guys have a malfunctioning genetic code. There is only one way natural selection deals with a malfunction......recycle bin.

    Just remember, countless species have been driven to extinction due to overpopulation and resource depletion. Natural selection is a very fickle tool.

  39. CaptainShuddup


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    61   10:54am Mon 31 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (2)   Dislike (1)  
  40. Dan8267


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    62   11:04am Mon 31 Dec 2012   Share   Quote   Permalink   Like (3)   Dislike  

    Consent to donate sperm is not the same as consent to finance the upbringing of the kid. The idiots suing him should be made to pay 10 times the asked for "child support" to the man.

    Shit like this ultimately harms future users of sperm banks as successful men are much less likely to donate. So instead of getting this guy's sperm,

    you get this guy's sperm,

    The greedy assholes behind the lawsuit are simply ruining the system they benefited from for all future lesbians. What a bunch of scumbag hypocrites!

    Furthermore, men will start insisting on completely and absolute anonymity for their donations which means the child will never know its medical history or be able to connect to his or her biological relatives when he reaches adulthood. Yet another reason to throw out this suit with severe prejudice.

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