« prev   random   next »

25
19

Funny picture thread

By zzyzzx following x   2011 Dec 9, 1:03am 298,500 views   1,366 comments   watch   sfw   quote     share    












#humor

« First    « Previous     Comments 1327 - 1366 of 1,366     Last »

1331   Strategist   ignore (1)   2018 Jul 3, 10:35am   ↑ like (5)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

Interesting Facts from Jolly old England:

There is an old Hotel/Pub in Marble Arch, London , which used to have gallows adjacent to it.
Prisoners were taken to the gallows (after a fair trial of course) to be hung.

The horse-drawn dray, carting the prisoner, was accompanied by an armed guard, who would stop the dray outside the pub and ask the prisoner if he would like ''ONE LAST DRINK''.

If he said YES, it was referred to as ONE FOR THE ROAD.
If he declined, that prisoner was ON THE WAGON.
So there you go. More bleeding history.

They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot and then once a day it was taken and sold to the tannery.
If you had to do this to survive you were "piss poor", but worse than that were the really poor folk, who couldn't even afford to buy a pot, they "Didn't have a pot to piss in" and were the lowest of the low.

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be in England. Here are some facts about the 1500s:

Most people got married in June, because they took their yearly bath in May and they still smelled pretty good by June.

However, since they were starting to smell, brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour.

Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water.
The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water,
then all the other sons and men,
then the women, and finally the children.
Last of all the babies.

By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.
Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water!"

Houses had thatched roofs, thick straw piled high, with no wood underneath.
It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof.
When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof.
Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom, where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed.
Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.
The floor was dirt.. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.
Hence the saying, "dirt poor."

The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing.
As the winter wore on they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside.
A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way.
Hence: a thresh hold.

(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight, then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while.
Hence the rhyme: ''Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot, nine days old''.

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special.
When visitors came over they would hang up their bacon, to show off.
It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "Bring home the bacon."
They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around talking and ''chew the fat''.

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top,
or ''The Upper Crust''.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days.
Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.
They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up.
Hence the custom of ''Holding a Wake''.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people, so they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house and reuse the grave.
When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realised they had been burying people alive.
So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, thread it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell.
Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift) to listen for the bell;
thus someone could be, ''Saved by the Bell'' or was considered a ''Dead Ringer''.

And that's the truth.
Now, whoever said history was boring ! ! !
So .. . . get out there and educate someone !!!
1333   komputodo   ignore (0)   2018 Jul 3, 12:24pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

Tenpoundbass says
I think her name was Susha, or something like that, She was on for about a month then all the women got all upset and shut her down.


It was multi-millionaire XUXA...she dated football great PELE and Formula 1 Champ Ayrton Senna. Supposedly had something going on with Michael Jackson too.
1339   Ceffer   ignore (1)   2018 Jul 11, 11:14pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

Patrick says


I wore open crotch panties on my face, and they identified me! What was I thinking?

https://www.facebook.com/pg/Pantifa-1963113750640621/about/?ref=page_internal
1345   Patrick   ignore (0)   2018 Jul 12, 6:24pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

I've been working with React at work lately, and this, uh, strikes me as very true:

1346   TrumpingTits   ignore (0)   2018 Jul 12, 9:10pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

Patrick says
I've been working with React at work lately, and this, uh, strikes me as very true:


That makes two of us.
1347   HeadSet   ignore (1)   2018 Jul 13, 6:57am   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

Patrick, Trumping Tits,

What kind of apps are you developing?
1348   Patrick   ignore (0)   2018 Jul 13, 7:19am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

@HeadSet At my company (which I don't want to name) we are developing an app which is basically the same as the website. The app will have a few extra features like the ability to locate people and push notifications to them.

React Native does have the nice feature of letting us work on one codebase instead of two (iPhone and Android). That's worth a lot. But it still feels overly complex to do even simple things like store a state value in Redux and get it out again.
1350   TrumpingTits   ignore (0)   2018 Jul 14, 1:06pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

Patrick says
React Native does have the nice feature of letting us work on one codebase instead of two (iPhone and Android).

We are using Electron instead for a Windows/Mac desktop app, native for iOS and Android apps.

Patrick says
But it still feels overly complex to do even simple things like store a state value in Redux and get it out again.

Yes. Definitely.
1351   Ceffer   ignore (1)   2018 Jul 14, 2:56pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

Kids are super scary. They grow up, and just wind up wanting to kill you for all your shit.
1353   Onvacation   ignore (2)   2018 Jul 15, 1:29pm   ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

Tenpoundbass says
Cowculus


That's a bunch of bulls...
1354   Ceffer   ignore (1)   2018 Jul 15, 3:48pm   ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

Sorry, it's not Cowculus. It's Ungulometry.
1355   HeadSet   ignore (1)   2018 Jul 15, 7:01pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

Patrick says

React Native does have the nice feature of letting us work on one codebase instead of two (iPhone and Android).

One codebase is a great feature. When we were developing a taxi app (before Uber), we had to use separate code for Android, iPhone, and (for what I thought at the time would be the the new dominant device) Windows Phone.
1361   zzyzzx   ignore (1)   2018 Jul 16, 12:07pm   ↑ like (5)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

French celebrating world cup win:
1366   Ceffer   ignore (1)   2018 Jul 18, 3:14pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

Woman with a double chin: testicle tee.

« First    « Previous     Comments 1327 - 1366 of 1,366     Last »





The Housing Trap
You're being set up to spend your life paying off a debt you don't need to take on, for a house that costs far more than it should. The conspirators are all around you, smiling to lure you in, carefully choosing their words and watching your reactions as they push your buttons, anxiously waiting for the moment when you sign the papers that will trap you and guarantee their payoff. Don't be just another victim of the housing market. Use this book to defend your freedom and defeat their schemes. You can win the game, but first you have to learn how to play it.
115 pages, $12.50

Kindle version available


about   best comments   contact   one year ago   suggestions