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PatNe Question of the Day: How Would YOU Assassinate Kim Jung-Un?

By APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch following x   2014 May 21, 9:47pm 7,185 views   48 comments   watch   nsfw   quote     share    


This guy is the kind of living crime against humanity that goes beyond the vile perfidy of the most criminally insane REALTOR.

How would you rid humanity of this curse?

#housing

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9   HydroCabron   ignore (1)   2014 May 22, 2:34am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (1)   quote   flag        

Hand him to the Fed.

10   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (38)   2014 May 22, 3:00am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Ceffer says

Have him torn limb from limb by massive hirsute lesbians who have been fed a concoction of PCP and anabolic steroids for weeks to work them into a chronic, maniacal, frothing rage.

They can disembowel him with strap ons first.

Dig it! What America needs is a division of IMMENSE HIRSUTE LESBIAN REAVERS on PCP/'Roid rages to dismember and eat enemies of the state.

11   Ceffer   ignore (1)   2014 May 22, 3:16am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Then, the MHLs can lick the blood streaming from the rending feast out of each others' swollen vulvas and steroid induced enormous clitorises for the televised entertainment of the masses.

Ewwww! I am becoming APOCALYPSerated.

12   Strategist   ignore (2)   2014 May 22, 3:23am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

How about pouring gravy on his gonads and tossing him into a room filled with starving dogs.

Why do you hate dogs? Turn him over to Al Qaeda.

13   indigenous   ignore (0)   2014 May 22, 9:37am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Why does APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch hate a good apparatchik trying to help his fellow man?

14   HydroCabron   ignore (1)   2014 May 22, 10:04am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (1)   quote   flag        

I can't really justify wasting a bullet on this sub-human while Sam Zell walks on this planet.

15   ChapulinColorado   ignore (2)   2014 May 22, 3:13pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Make him watch episodes of MASH while in a cell with a bath salt fed cannibalistic face eating Hannibal Lector.

16   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (38)   2014 May 22, 6:59pm   ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

It's true. Wasting bullets on monsters like this is a terrible waste as long as there are things like REALTORS, bankers and Sam Zell working the earth.

Which is why I now propose we execute Kim Jung-un with a log splitter.

Tell me how, PatNetters!

17   Facebooksux   ignore (0)   2014 May 23, 12:11am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Strategist says

The same way we got Osama Bin Laden?

Kidney failure at a hospital in Saudi Arabia or Pakistan?

18   Strategist   ignore (2)   2014 May 23, 12:28am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

It's true. Wasting bullets on monsters like this is a terrible waste as long as there are things like REALTORS, bankers and Sam Zell working the earth.

Which is why I now propose we execute Kim Jung-un with a log splitter.

Tell me how, PatNetters!

Don't you want to see him suffer first?
Why do you love dictators?

19   Quigley   ignore (0)   2014 May 23, 1:27am   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

It does no good to torture sociopaths. They won't learn anything from that, and worse, the torturer incurs psychic damage. Simple removal from the planet is safest and most effective.

20   FortWayne   ignore (4)   2014 May 23, 2:23am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

I don't think he is the bad guy. I see him just like our president(s), a face for the public to vote for, while someone else is pulling the strings.

It's why we have a 2 party system, entrenched oligarchy that owns everything. Take one asshole out, another one comes in his place and does the same things while promising "hope and change".

21   Strategist   ignore (2)   2014 May 23, 2:29am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (1)   quote   flag        

Quigley says

It does no good to torture sociopaths. They won't learn anything from that, and worse, the torturer incurs psychic damage. Simple removal from the planet is safest and most effective.

You are much too practical.
I'm sure Apocalypse will thoroughly enjoy torturing him. When he's done he'll have a turkey sandwich and burp.

22   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (38)   2014 May 26, 1:07pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Would it be just to beat him to death with the disembodied arms of Hank Paulson, L Ron Hubbard and Tim Geithner?

23   Blurtman   ignore (1)   2014 May 26, 1:45pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

I'd have Hillary plant a massive fudgie on his face.

24   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (38)   2014 May 26, 1:46pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

What's a fudgie. Is that like a Hot Lunch?

25   Ceffer   ignore (1)   2014 May 26, 3:50pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

What's a fudgie. Is that like a Hot Lunch?

I think its something like a wedgie shart. Unfortunately, makes things too slippery for a proper twerk decapitation.

26   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (38)   2014 May 26, 9:11pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Ceffer says

Unfortunately, makes things too slippery for a proper twerk decapitation.

Sounds gross, even by PatNet standards.

Right, need to keep a solid butt grip for a proper twerkitation.

27   Blurtman   ignore (1)   2014 May 27, 12:29am   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Looking up at that massive mountain of flab, he'd die from fright before experiencing any chocolate mess.

28   New Renter   ignore (11)   2014 May 27, 1:06am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

How Would YOU Assassinate Kim Jung-Un?

Well that's easy:


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spanish_Inquisition

He'd never expect THAT!

29   elliemae   ignore (0)   2014 May 27, 1:19am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

His hobby is playing video games. How about if we create some elaborate set based on his favorite game with real guns, then insert him inside the "game." Only give him guns that shoot foam darts, just for fun.

Re: the CSI Biebs dying video - I'm impressed at how many shots it took for him to die. He's much tougher than I thought

31   New Renter   ignore (11)   2014 May 27, 1:30am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

elliemae says

Re: the CSI Biebs dying video - I'm impressed at how many shots it took for him to die. He's much tougher than I thought

And yet now one single cop relieved himself on the steaming corpse.

Well that's TV for you.

32   Ceffer   ignore (1)   2014 May 28, 4:46pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

elliemae says

Re: the CSI Biebs dying video - I'm impressed at how many shots it took for him to die. He's much tougher than I thought

It was those kevlar tattoos.

33   Invest2014   ignore (0)   2014 May 29, 12:10am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

A missionary using a bag of rice as bait and Bill O'Reilly in the hiding in the bushes with his elephant gun.

34   Vicente   ignore (0)   2014 May 31, 1:30pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (1)   quote   flag        

The Traditional American Way.

CIA enables an existing challenger to take over as the new strongman. Promise whatever support is needed to pull off a coup, and extraction if it fails.

His family however has been remarkably successful at eliminating possible threats. And you couldn't realistically use this method for some 3rd tier underling who would neither have access, nor the ability to maintain order post-coup.

Fomenting a popular revolution is too risky.

35   Bellingham Bill   ignore (5)   2014 May 31, 6:51pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

"Kim Jung-Un"

Like Saddam Hussein was, I think the present Korean dictator is an effect not a cause of systemic instability.

Vicente says

His family however has been remarkably successful at eliminating possible threats

I don't know anything, but suspect the corruption of the NK regime extends far beyond "family".

NK seems to me to be a fallen party-elite controlled state, the end state of all governments that successfully unbind themselves from true popular electoral feedback dynamics.

I'd like to think if the ROK just rolled over the border the rotten state would collapse immediately, but short of that I don't see change happening there anytime soon.

ISTM the "inner party" -- whatever that is -- has got too tight a grip on the levers of police power in NK.

The day NK disappears should hopefully be a happy day indeed; one of the last authoritarian holdouts, left or right.

36   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (38)   2014 May 31, 8:45pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

I think you can agree that if we air dropped log splitters into North Korea, Kim Fuck-un would be toast in short order.

37   Invest2014   ignore (0)   2014 Jun 4, 10:47am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Strategist says

The same way we got Osama Bin Laden?

LOL

39   Ceffer   ignore (1)   2014 Jun 4, 1:36pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

hrhjuliet says

With style..…: http://youtu.be/Z5lbbOzka5I

I would still rather see him assassinated by immense hirsute lesbians dancing and sword fighting with knobby strap ons. They could squish a few of the male dancers, too, that would be real spectacle.

I guess I am just a traditionalist.

40   Vicente   ignore (0)   2014 Jun 4, 1:44pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Rosa Klebb style, old school!

41   Philistine   ignore (0)   2014 Jun 4, 1:51pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Ceffer says

assassinated by immense hirsute lesbians dancing and sword fighting with knobby strap ons. They could squish a few of the male dancers, too, that would be real spectacle.

I guess I am just a traditionalist.

This sounds like a dream sequence from a Ken Russell film.

42   hrhjuliet   ignore (0)   2014 Jun 4, 1:56pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Ceffer says

hrhjuliet says

With style..…: http://youtu.be/Z5lbbOzka5I

I would still rather see him assassinated by immense hirsute lesbians dancing and sword fighting with knobby strap ons. They could squish a few of the male dancers, too, that would be real spectacle.

I guess I am just a traditionalist.

But admit it, my version had more style. ;-)

43   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (38)   2014 Jun 4, 1:58pm   ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

How about IHLs going without bathes for a year, sitting on Kim Jung-un's face and taking an Immense shit and drowning him?

44   Ceffer   ignore (1)   2014 Jun 4, 2:05pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

hrhjuliet says

Ceffer says

hrhjuliet says

With style..…: http://youtu.be/Z5lbbOzka5I

I would still rather see him assassinated by immense hirsute lesbians dancing and sword fighting with knobby strap ons. They could squish a few of the male dancers, too, that would be real spectacle.

I guess I am just a traditionalist.

But admit it, my version had more style. ;-)

Yes, if you dazzle Kim Jungalongadingdong-huh! with style, he might die of fabulousness, point taken.

45   HydroCabron   ignore (1)   2014 Jun 4, 2:06pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (1)   quote   flag        

Kill it with fire!

46   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (38)   2014 Jun 4, 2:40pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Burn Kim Jung-un alive?

Are you volunteering?

47   Entitlemented   ignore (0)   2014 Jun 4, 3:07pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Thats some classified scuttlebutt sailor. Zip it!

48   hrhjuliet   ignore (0)   2014 Jun 4, 3:47pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Ceffer says

hrhjuliet says

Ceffer says

hrhjuliet says

With style..…: http://youtu.be/Z5lbbOzka5I

I would still rather see him assassinated by immense hirsute lesbians dancing and sword fighting with knobby strap ons. They could squish a few of the male dancers, too, that would be real spectacle.

I guess I am just a traditionalist.

But admit it, my version had more style. ;-)

Yes, if you dazzle Kim Jongalongadingdong-huh! with style, he might die of fabulousness, point taken.

Exactly.

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