patrick.net

And the funny things is, they are the future old farts.

11. Have been screwing nymphomaniac teacher for over a year.

12. We plan on living in your basement for years to come.

13. Fetch your scone? What's a scone?

14. Who is George Washington? Didn't he invent the one dollar bill?

1. America will look a lot different when we grow up.
No! really?
And who do you think MAKES those changes?

2. We’re one click ahead of you online
Who do you think RUNS the internet? Hint, its not teenagers…

3. We’re sooo bored…with the shopping mall
So get my scone already beaych! Then you can mow my lawn.

4. We do drugs (but not the same ones you did)
You're bragging about being an uncompensated medical experiment?

5. We can’t do financial math (but neither can you)
Call me when you can define equity.

6. Your recession-era stress is contagious
Contagious? the only reason you exist is so we can pass on our stress and responsibility as your inheritance!

7. Our hunger for gadgets will cost you billions
Oh just you wait till you get the bill for our eldercare!

8. We’ll double the price of your car insurance
We've already centupled the price of your housing.

9. We get bullied, even when we’re popular
STFU and get my scone already beyach!

10. We don’t buy into the American Dream
You're welcome.

Ceffer says

13. Fetch your scone? What's a scone?

Its the thing you be fetching BEYCH!

anonymous says

Things teens wont tell you

15. I'm not yet 18.

That's why I always check their Facebook page. Timeline has saved my ass many a time.

Call it Crazy says

Dan8267 says

15. I'm not yet 18.

That's why I always check their Facebook page. Timeline has saved my ass many a time.

Stop picking up chicks at the middle school bus stop and you won't have that problem.

Rin, are you listening?

sbh says

New Renter says

3. We’re sooo bored…with the shopping mall


So get my scone already beaych! Then you can mow my lawn.

The scone fetch....maybe. But MOWING? That might involve sweating! Eeeeeuuuuuwwwww

Did I mention the mower was zero carbon? Just the way you kids like it!

New Renter says

Call it Crazy says

Dan8267 says

15. I'm not yet 18.

That's why I always check their Facebook page. Timeline has saved my ass many a time.

Stop picking up chicks at the middle school bus stop and you won't have that problem.

Rin, are you listening?

There's a "do not disturb" sign on his door.
Room service just delivered 2 bottles of champagne and 4 orders of caviar. Along with open crotch underwear.
I think he is literally tied up for now.

Strategist says

New Renter says

Call it Crazy says

Dan8267 says

15. I'm not yet 18.

That's why I always check their Facebook page. Timeline has saved my ass many a time.

Stop picking up chicks at the middle school bus stop and you won't have that problem.

Rin, are you listening?

There's a "do not disturb" sign on his door.

Room service just delivered 2 bottles of champagne and 4 orders of caviar. Along with open crotch underwear.

I think he is literally tied up for now.

I hope he hid his wallet.

New Renter says

I think he is literally tied up for now.

I hope he hid his wallet.

Uh, let me check, he gave me his wallet for safe keeping.
I see $5.00
a couple of rubbers
Dozen IOU's from Montreal Hookers.
A minimum wage paycheck
An IRS threat
One way ticket to Mexico
Oh God, I think he's planning to skip the country.

Strategist says

Dozen IOU's from Montreal Hookers

IOUs from hookers? For what, buy one, get one free herpes vaccinations?

anonymous says

We can’t do financial math (but neither can you)

Then don't ask me for gas money.

19. We've been watching porn since we were 4, and you never saw any until you were 30.

Ceffer says

19. We've been watching porn since we were 4, and you never saw any until you were 30.

@ 19
Those porn stars you have been fantasizing about are from OUR generation. Some are as old as your grandma!

Sweet dreams now!

Stop complaining. You guys brought this upon yourselves. :-)

Sorry fellas, Montreal strippers/esc*rts are ages 18 to 28.

There are no teenagers here, just hot young women.

Strategist says

Dozen IOU's from Montreal Hookers.

Fellas, quit acting like Montreal's a third world city. There are ATMs on every other street.

Pay up front, enjoy an hour or two, and then send the gal home.

Rin says

Sorry fellas, Montreal strippers/esc*rts are ages 18 to 28.

There are no teenagers here, just hot young women.

Why, can't Canadian girls lie about their age like American girls?

New Renter says

Rin says

Sorry fellas, Montreal strippers/esc*rts are ages 18 to 28.

There are no teenagers here, just hot young women.

Why, can't Canadian girls lie about their age like American girls?

If they've got a fake id then you've got to call the Mounties on the agency.

Let me guess, Rin actually works for the Montreal Chamber of Commerce?

Ceffer says

Let me guess, Rin actually works for the Montreal Chamber of Commerce?

Undercover.

Rin says

New Renter says

Rin says

Sorry fellas, Montreal strippers/esc*rts are ages 18 to 28.

There are no teenagers here, just hot young women.

Why, can't Canadian girls lie about their age like American girls?

If they've got a fake id then you've got to call the Mounties on the agency.

You check IDs?

New Renter says

You check IDs?

If she looks 'too' young, then yes, or I simply tell her to go back.

I'd rather have woman in her mid-20s, up through early 30s. And it's hard for a 16 year old to pass for 25.

New Renter says

Ceffer says

Let me guess, Rin actually works for the Montreal Chamber of Commerce?

Undercover.

No way, if I drum up more business than prices will skyrocket.

Here, I'm a deflationist at heart.

Rin says

New Renter says

Ceffer says

Let me guess, Rin actually works for the Montreal Chamber of Commerce?

Undercover.

No way, if I drum up more business than prices will skyrocket.

Here, I'm a deflationist at heart.

And here I thought "inflation" not "deflation" was the goal...

Rin says

New Renter says

You check IDs?

If she looks 'too' young, then yes, or I simply tell her to go back.

I'd rather have woman in her mid-20s, up through early 30s. And it's hard for a 16 year old to pass for 25.

The problem is the older you get the harder it becomes to tell the difference between 16 and 25.

Call it Crazy says

Strategist says

Along with open crotch underwear.

Rin wears open crotch underwear?

Would you like to share with us how you know this??

NSA web site.

11. We're psychopaths

12. I don't want to WORK! Quit telling the Government to create jobs for me.

13. You've gotta lotta gall to tell ME about Conformity!

CaptainShuddup says

12. I don't want to WORK! Quit telling the Government to create jobs for me.

So how about you captain? Would you do your job for free? No? Then you don't really WANT to work either.

13. You've gotta lotta gall to tell ME about Conformity!

So explain to me again, why you and everyone in your class got neck tatoos?

Word. I hear that tattooing your latest fuck buddy's name on your neck is all the rage. Just so, like, everyone who sees you will know that "Rosita is my mamacita."

New Renter says

Here, I'm a deflationist at heart.

And here I thought "inflation" not "deflation" was the goal...

Especially with his collection of blow up dolls.

22. They'll be garnishing our Social Security to pay our student loans.

23. Our tattoos per capita will exceed the average balance in our bank accounts.