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Persistent Fraud Calls from MagicJack Jammers: Help Me Torture These Vermin!

By APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch following x   2014 Nov 11, 12:14am 20,977 views   43 comments   watch   nsfw   quote     share    


Check this out, getting 20 calls a day from a group of idiots, sound like Indians or Pakistani telling the household we're approved for a loan and phishing for bank account data - no doubt to jam an ACH transfer into a muled account somewhere they'll drain via ATM card.

I answer and ask them if they have cancer and when they reply no I tell them please to go and get some cancer.

Next I will ask them if they want me to hold the phone close to their father who, as luck would have it, is blowing the dog in the back hallway, near the phone.

Any other suggestions?

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4   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (38)   2014 Nov 11, 9:52am   ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

I got the neighbors to come over and sing-song, "ALLAH SUCKS MY DICK, HEY!" over and over again the last time they called.

I just put all the MagicJack numbers on a porno chat board.

Anyone have URLS for gay bondage websites and shit?

Be great to have hundreds of guys calling up these dogs and shouting how they'd love to come over and stuff their arms up their asses.

5   bob2356   ignore (4)   2014 Nov 11, 10:32am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

Any other suggestions?

Ever try the telezapper? I had one when I used to work out of my house. Some marketers have gotten wise to this device, but an awful lot haven't. It plays the Special information tone or 'SIT' that indicates the phone has been disconnected. Most computerized dialers will hang up and erase your number from their database when they get the sit tone. You have to discipline yourself to not say anything for a couple seconds after you hear the tone. The first month or so will drive you crazy since you get tons of hangups. After that it settles down.

6   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (38)   2014 Nov 11, 10:38am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

bob2356 says

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

Any other suggestions?

Ever try the telezapper? I had one when I used to work out of my house. Some marketers have gotten wise to this device, but an awful lot haven't. It plays the Special information tone or 'SIT' that indicates the phone has been disconnected. Most computerized dialers will hang up and erase your number from their database when they get the sit tone. You have to discipline yourself to not say anything for a couple seconds after you hear the tone. The first month or so will drive you crazy since you get tons of hangups. After that it settles down.

No. In this case, these guys are dialing live and go straight into threatening us. Which I can barely make out through the VoIP crackles and me entreating them to get cancer and fuck their mother, the camel.

Just got a call blocker with a 1200 number black list.

This should help.

7   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (38)   2014 Nov 11, 11:03am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Ceffer says

Tell them they would enunciate con artist English better with a pigskin dildo up their asses.

Nice idea.

8   Blurtman   ignore (1)   2014 Nov 11, 11:19am   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

It's Hank Paulson's hobby. Give him a break, he misses schtooping the taxpayer.

9   anonymous   ignore (null)   2014 Nov 11, 11:41am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Resistance is futile

Just do the right thing and fork over your account number

10   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (38)   2014 Nov 11, 11:44am   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

errc says

Just do the right thing and fork over your account number

I am having more fun asking why their mother is in my front yard fucking a donkey and shouting ALLAH AKBAR while she swings on his belly.

11   anonymous   ignore (null)   2014 Nov 11, 11:58am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Yea that does sound like fun. I'll try it next time the opportunity presents itself

I called some Vegas tout hotline early one Saturday morning after being up all night partying, And they put my number on a list, they then sell to other touts

So to this day, I'll get a random call from some old guido sounding shmuck asking me what my lines are, And how much I can get down on a game

I've had the most fun acting as if I was going to buy something from then, And when it came time to give them my cc number, I'd tell them their cunt of a mother must have swiped it from me after she sucked my soul straight thru my dick the night before

12   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (38)   2014 Nov 11, 12:01pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Must happen to these assholes 30 times a day.

Still, all good wholesome fun.

13   anonymous   ignore (null)   2014 Nov 11, 12:13pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Speak faintly so they press the phone firmly to their ear and then blow your rape whistle as hard you can into the phone

14   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (38)   2014 Nov 11, 12:15pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Hehehe

Hey, Haj! You fucking DEAF NOW? HUH?

GOOD!

15   elliemae   ignore (0)   2014 Nov 11, 2:06pm   ↑ like (3)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

I got a call from the "IRS" telling me that I owed $500.00 in back taxes and that they were going to place a lien against my paycheck. I was having a slow day, so I played along. I told them that I was sooooooo sorry - and that I wanted to pay asap because I couldn't afford to be in trouble with the IRS!

The dude said he needed to verify my info - so I gave them a bogus name, date of birth and social security number. They accepted the info and told me that now that I'd verified my identity, how did I want to pay? They suggested that I get a prepaid credit card or send it via Western Union.

I told them that I ONLY pay my bills by prepaid card and that I had just bought one - and that the available balance is $1,500 so the $500 wouldn't be a problem. And then I asked if I could prepay my taxes for next year whilst I was at it.

The dude probably creamed his jeans at that point - he asked for the card number and I gave him a number. Then I gave him a three digit verification number. He was so excited, it hurt a little knowing that I was fucking with him.

I should have saved a little for my Nigerian prince boyfriend... but I guess I'll have to get another prepaid card for him.

It was a lot of fun, and I highly recommend it if you have 10 minutes.

16   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (38)   2014 Nov 11, 9:11pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Hehehe. There is a 419 fun website that features Nigerians being screwed with by 'victims' who have convinced the scammers to hold up signs and do stunts to gain the 'victims' confidence. It's really funny. Proves the axiom that civilization endures not because police are vigilant but because the crooks are so dumb.

I am having too much fun asking them what it feels like to have a father who has sex with dogs and a mother who is a camel and asking them to get cancer.

Next, time to attack their gods, preferably the wrong ones. The Indians and Pakis hate being called Arabs, too. That should get them just insane with rage.

17   Dan8267   ignore (3)   2014 Nov 12, 12:21am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

elliemae says

The dude probably creamed his jeans at that point

You should have said that you only pay in cash and then asked where to mail the cash to. Then wait at the pickup spot with a bunch of Surft Nazis and then when the guy comes to pick up the cash rape him with a GoPilot Portable Urinal until he passes out. Then you ship his ass through cargo mail to

Kim Jong Un
Glorious Leader and Chairman of Chosun Communist Party
Kumsoosan, Miam-dong, Daesung district
Pyongyang, Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK)

return address
Perfect Girlfriend, Inc.
Makers of high quality sex dolls
2600 Pennsylvania Ave
Washington, D.C. 20037

18   zzyzzx   ignore (1)   2014 Nov 12, 12:45am   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

I usually just ask then What are you wearing?

20   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (38)   2014 Nov 12, 2:05am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Would have been funnier if he got his wife in the room to start screaming and told the telemarketer he was toasting a nun he'd kidnapped and turned into a sex slave a decade before and grown tired of.

21   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (38)   2014 Nov 12, 3:57am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Another call - didm't pick up.

If anyone feels in a mood to shout obscenities at evil fucks, PM me and I'll get you some numbers.

22   curious2   ignore (0)   2014 Nov 12, 5:22am   ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

PM me and I'll get you some numbers.

Telemarketers can spoof Call ID, so calling those numbers would only compound the problem: some random person or company whose number got spoofed would pick up their phone and get an earful from you and yours. Better to ask your contacts at NSA to supply you with the real number, or even better the real location, as in GPS coordinates so your drone pilot buddies can relieve stress by bringing justice to evildoing call centers.

23   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (38)   2014 Nov 12, 6:00am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

They're theirs - called a bunch back through Skype. They depend on callbacks, so apparently are willing to burn MagicJack numbers as a cost of doing business. Sounds like they're in Karachi or Islamabad.

24   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (38)   2014 Nov 13, 2:00pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Got them after dinner.

"Hello. You are selected for the load up to $10,000. Can we confirm your person, so we can proceed with the loan."

"I love the way your father screams MOMMEEEEE! when my dog fucks him in the ass!"

"What you saying!?"

"Your mother is a goat is not fit to fuck my dogs, no matter how much she begs them!"

"FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! YOU ARE THE DOG!"

25   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (38)   2014 Nov 14, 5:38am   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Got their 510 area code number on the Skype. Picked up in one ring. Got into a really twisted fugue about their mother, shrieking how great it was their mother was smart enough to kneel when me and my friends fuck her, otherwise we'd need to stand on a ladder to screw a camel that tall. A couple have been terminated by YMAX. Apparently the company has a dedicated fax to take subpoenas. Anyone feel inspired to scream at someone to die of cancer or to insult someone's mom, lemme know. I've got plenty of numbers to call.

26   MAGA   ignore (1)   2014 Nov 14, 6:12am   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Forward the calls to NAR Headquarters in Chicago.

Their number is 800-874-6500.

27   Strategist   ignore (2)   2014 Nov 14, 7:58am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

curious2 says

Telemarketers can spoof Call ID, so calling those numbers would only compound the problem: some random person or company whose number got spoofed would pick up their phone and get an earful from you and yours.

Every time I got telemarketer calls I would complain to the "Do Not Call List" Now with spoofing, the do not call list is redundant. They should make it illegal, punishable with heavy fines.

28   Strategist   ignore (2)   2014 Nov 14, 7:58am   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

jvolstad says

Forward the calls to NAR Headquarters in Chicago.

Their number is 800-874-6500.

Hey, that's a great idea. 2 crooks trying to con each other.

29   turtledove   ignore (0)   2014 Nov 14, 8:07am   ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

We just let the kids answer those calls. They get to practice their various characters, including:

deaf old man
retarded child
thick-accented foreigner (one of their favorites is the maid from Family Guy)

It's really quite funny.

30   HEY YOU   ignore (7)   2014 Nov 14, 8:39am   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

"I answer and ask them if they have cancer and when they reply no I tell them please to go and get some cancer."

Now that some funny shit. Someone help me back into my chair.

31   Strategist   ignore (2)   2014 Nov 14, 8:43am   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

You could ask the telemarketer to hold on a sec, and then put on a recording of loud perverted sex sounds.

32   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (38)   2014 Nov 14, 9:51am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

turtledove says

We just let the kids answer those calls. They get to practice their various characters, including:

deaf old man

retarded child

thick-accented foreigner (one of their favorites is the maid from Family Guy)

It's really quite funny.

That would work but these people just start telling me to 'FUCK YOU, YOU DOG!' when they suspect I am on to them. Not stuff I'd like little kids to hear.

33   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (38)   2014 Nov 14, 9:52am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Strategist says

You could ask the telemarketer to hold on a sec, and then put on a recording of loud perverted sex sounds.

I wonder if I can get recordings of camel orgasms from the Web to play for these guys and tell them its their mom partying with my friends in the kitchen.

34   Strategist   ignore (2)   2014 Nov 14, 10:26am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

Strategist says

You could ask the telemarketer to hold on a sec, and then put on a recording of loud perverted sex sounds.

I wonder if I can get recordings of camel orgasms from the Web to play for these guys and tell them its their mom partying with my friends in the kitchen.

You sure can...

35   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (38)   2014 Nov 14, 10:39am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Strategist says

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

Strategist says

You could ask the telemarketer to hold on a sec, and then put on a recording of loud perverted sex sounds.

I wonder if I can get recordings of camel orgasms from the Web to play for these guys and tell them its their mom partying with my friends in the kitchen.

You sure can...

I thought there would be much more bellowing and it would be way louder.

36   Strategist   ignore (2)   2014 Nov 14, 10:42am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

Strategist says

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

Strategist says

You could ask the telemarketer to hold on a sec, and then put on a recording of loud perverted sex sounds.

I wonder if I can get recordings of camel orgasms from the Web to play for these guys and tell them its their mom partying with my friends in the kitchen.

You sure can...

I thought there would be much more bellowing and it would be way louder.

There were children watching and learning. I would be quiet too.

37   Dan8267   ignore (3)   2014 Nov 14, 12:28pm   ↑ like (4)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

Help Me Torture These Vermin!

If you really want to torture them, just recite posts from CIC and Strategist.

38   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (38)   2014 Nov 14, 12:32pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Dan8267 says

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

Help Me Torture These Vermin!

If you really want to torture them, just recite posts from CIC and Strategist.

How'd you get so *cruel*?

39   Strategist   ignore (2)   2014 Nov 14, 1:14pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

sbh says

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

Dan8267 says

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

Help Me Torture These Vermin!

If you really want to torture them, just recite posts from CIC and Strategist.

How'd you get so *cruel*?

Now Dan, be nice; you're on record opposing extraordinary rendition.

They might actually learn something.

40   anonymous   ignore (null)   2014 Nov 14, 11:40pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

turtledove says

We just let the kids answer those calls. They get to practice their various characters, including:

deaf old man

retarded child

thick-accented foreigner (one of their favorites is the maid from Family Guy)

It's really quite funny.

You have your kids practice their "retarded child" impersonation, for laughs? Wow, That some sick fucking shit right there. I kinda like it

Hey daughter, Make fun of retarded kid. Bahahaha!

41   turtledove   ignore (0)   2014 Nov 15, 1:16am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

errc says

Hey daughter, Make fun of retarded kid. Bahahaha!

Are you teasing me or did you miss the point?

So there's no character a person can assume without being accused of attacking that particular demographic? You must really hate stand-up comedy. No one's making fun of retarded children, deaf old men, or people who don't speak English. It's about hassling the telemarketers.

42   indigenous   ignore (0)   2014 Nov 15, 1:33am   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

turtledove says

Are you teasing me or did you miss the point?

When does he not?

The answer to every question by the maid is hilarious.

43   anonymous   ignore (null)   2015 Jan 9, 5:46am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

206-201-2282

These mook mocks won't answer any of my return calls anymore. All I wanted to do was settle the suit they represent the irs in against me , and my Tourettes flared up a bit about his mother sucking shit with a hose out of a camel's asshole while I fuck the prophet Mohammed in his face

Have some fun with these blokes, why dontcha

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