« prev   random   next »

9
0

Hillary Clinton To Nation: Do Not Fuck This Up For Me

By someone else follow someone else   2015 Apr 14, 10:27pm 4,355 views   19 comments   watch   nsfw   quote   share    


http://www.theonion.com/articles/hillary-clinton-to-nation-do-not-fuck-this-up-for,38416/

After several seconds spent sitting motionless and glaring directly into the camera, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reportedly began Sunday’s video announcing her 2016 presidential bid by warning the nation not to fuck this up for her. “Listen up, assholes, ’cause I’m only saying this once: I’ve worked way too goddamn hard to let you morons blow this thing for me,” said Clinton, repeatedly jabbing her index finger toward the viewers at home while adding that if they thought she was going to simply sit back and watch them dick her over like they did in 2008, they were...

1   Oilwelldoctor   ignore (0)   2015 Apr 15, 1:09am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Well said Patrick. Well said indeed.

2   bob2356   ignore (4)   2015 Apr 15, 3:58am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

I would actually vote for the onions version of hillary klingon. Unfortunately the real hillary hasn't made an honest statement in her entire life.

3   bob2356   ignore (4)   2015 Apr 15, 4:01am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

patrick maybe you should ban any post or comment with the words hillary (unless preceded by the words sir edmund) or clinton in it until after the election. it would save lots of tedious rhetoric from the usual suspects.

4   Blurtman   ignore (1)   2015 Apr 15, 4:01am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

I put up with that philandering dick to get here. You owe me America!!!

5   FortWayne   ignore (4)   2015 Apr 15, 1:09pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

That's a funny one.

6   Tenpoundbass   ignore (15)   2015 Apr 15, 1:28pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Her pantsuit is lined with another pantsuit. Just in case.

8   Tenpoundbass   ignore (15)   2016 Jan 31, 4:21pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

FortWayne says

anonymous says

http://www.theonion.com/article/clinton-ominously-tells-iowan-supporters-mark-fron-52265

Sadly enough Cruz did exactly that with his campaign flyers this morning.

And who says the Onion isn't news?

10   Tenpoundbass   ignore (15)   2016 Oct 15, 1:39pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Lot's of truth in jest.

11   Indiana Jones   ignore (0)   2016 Oct 15, 2:26pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Hello Kitty's got my vote.

12   marcus   ignore (10)   2016 Oct 15, 2:54pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

So she was a senator for several years, then ran for President in 2008. After losing the nomination to Obama in a tight race, she became secretary of state for a few years in Obama's admin, and upon ending her tenure as Secretary of State was widely regarded to be an effective one (among republicans even). THey could admit it, becasue Obama was the nominee for 2012, and we were years away from the next cycle. (but they started worrying about 2016 soon thereafter (Benghazi)).

So here we are, and she was in the front of the line to be the democratic nominee. Big surprise. Some of you people act like this hasn't been the way it's been done for over 200 years now.

OF the first six Presidents, four were previously the secretary of State.

These days, people seem to think that knowledge of the inner workings of the executive branch and deep experience with it is a bad thing. I could not disagree more strongly.

Funny how conservative I have become, and yet I still get called a leftie.

13   marcus   ignore (10)   2016 Oct 15, 3:01pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

If Trump was PResident, the one thing he would be great at is controlling the media. When there was a story brewing that he doesn't like, he would say some outrageous things to a foreign leader or to some group of Americans, and that story would dominate the media for the news cycle. Then rinse and repeat as he chooses.

As someone that likes attention and likes to read about himself, the job would be great for him. He could take his manipulation skills places he's never dreamed of. But the Trumpbots have no idea how quickly it would get old,

Fortunately, it's not going to happen. But it's hard to be happy about the division and how totally messed up our politics are. Maybe it's even messed up enough that this is some kind of peak in divisiveness and things will slowly get better after this. Yeah, if devisiveness was a stock, I would be selling right around this election.

14   anonymous   ignore (null)   2016 Oct 15, 3:06pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

This is not an audition for The Onion, Marcus

15   marcus   ignore (10)   2016 Oct 15, 3:17pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

She thought she was first in line, almost entitled to the nomination. That is what is what is (humorously?) implied by the OPs onion piece. I get it. A lot of people, especially republicans such as yourself, are bothered by her seeming to feel entitled to the nomination. Or even entitled to the Presidency (I don't think she ever felt that - she know it would be contested - but the clown show was a surprise).

I'm saying yes, she did feel somewhat entitled to the nomination, and that seems natural and okay to me, pretty much in keeping with our nation's history, if you think about it.

16   anonymous   ignore (null)   2016 Oct 15, 3:42pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Republicans such as yourself

LOL! You're on fire tonight, marcus! This is your duende moment

17   Ceffer   ignore (3)   2016 Oct 15, 7:53pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

I long for the days when I was stupid enough to believe that the President was actually on my side.

18   FortWayne   ignore (4)   2016 Oct 15, 8:01pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

marcus says

After losing the nomination to Obama in a tight race, she became secretary of state for a few years in Obama's admin, and upon ending her tenure as Secretary of State was widely regarded to be an effective one (among republicans even). THey could admit it, becasue Obama was the nominee for 2012, and we were years away from the next cycle. (but they started worrying about 2016 soon thereafter (Benghazi)).

The only reason she and her establishment crooks couldn't rig it to win in 2008 was because Obama was just too popular. He was elected on a huge popular vote. And she's been bitter ever since. When Bernie came in 2016, he wasn't as popular as Obama, so him she screwed out of nomination by rigging it. Old boys club is electing Hillary. You blind fool! Even fucking Bushe's are supporting her, is that not a sign of establishment if you ever saw one?

Sure Trump is an asshole, but he is an outsider, and this group of assholes in government needs a good dose of that.

19   lostand confused   ignore (0)   2016 Nov 9, 4:26am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Maybe IHL planned this-she gets to go to jail and be surrounded with IHLs for life?


about   best comments   contact   one year ago   suggestions