patrick.net

They're not screwed. It's all normal once you admit that both genders are in fact different.

Heraclitusstudent says

They're not screwed. It's all normal once you admit that both genders are in fact different.

They have always been different, but I don't recall such behavior in the generations of our parents or grandparents. Men were less pussified, women were more feminine. The dynamics were better than today, which you can also see in the high divorce rates and the continuously rising singlehood in our society.

mell says

They have always been different, but I don't recall such behavior in the generations of our parents or grandparents. Men were less pussified, women were more feminine. The dynamics were better than today, which you can also see in the high divorce rates and the continuously rising singlehood in our society.

This. I've just been harangued by my wife who thinks I'm trash but I've been working SOLID for 15 years without fail. Always employed, always faithful. But I hear how bad I suck and dragged into therapy - I get the long list of stuff I dont do after a long hard day of work.

She likes to work but hates her co-workers, she is miserable, and every damn cent of her pay we pay in taxes so its useless. And with 3 kids and a job she is a angry wretch all the time. Dual income (I dont care which spouse goes to work but it should be ONE at a time) is the DEATH of America. I feel sorry for my kids. This world is a damned nightmare.

Mick Russom says

This. I've just been harangued by my wife who thinks I'm trash but I've been working SOLID for 15 years without fail. Always employed, always faithful. But I hear how bad I suck and dragged into therapy - I get the long list of stuff I dont do after a long hard day of work.

I want to say I hope it works out for you though I really like to see happy couples mostly functioning relationships. However from my experience most therapists have a strong female bias because psychology has been taken over by the feminists/cultural marxists for the bigger part and thus the science has suffered.

Mick Russom says

She likes to work but hates her co-workers, she is miserable, and every damn cent of her pay we pay in taxes so its useless. And with 3 kids and a job she is a angry wretch all the time. Dual income (I dont care which spouse goes to work but it should be ONE at a time) is the DEATH of America. I feel sorry for my kids. This world is a damned nightmare.

Congrats on the 3 kids, once you're done providing for them it is their job to better their lives. I agree on dual income, often the 2nd income is far less and gets eaten by taxes, only to cause issues in the relationship. IMO the person with the larger income should work only and the other one should assume full house duty and take care of the kids, it's better for the kids and the relationship. Dual income can work if both make a lot and then can hire the problems away, e.g. cleaners and nanny's, but this whole bullshit of self-determination and "right to work" and not "just being a mother" has prompted women to work a crappy job that doesn't help and makes them miserable only to sabotage the relationship. Good luck with everything.

Sorry for your trouble Mick. Dual working parents with kids can be really tough. Women are generally ungrateful and that only escalates when they also earn a paycheck. Wish I knew a grand solution but I guess time makes it easier. Kids become more independent and easier to care for.
Advice: (what works for me)
1) hire a maid. That way nobody has to slave doing housework. Once every other week keeps things reasonably clean even with three kids.
2) date night: bout the only way to keep any romance in your marriage is to plan date nights and do them often.
3) spend some time talking one on one with your spouse after the kids go to bed. Yah I know this can be hard when all you want is to relax but it makes a huge difference in her attitude. Happy wife, happy life still works a hundred years after it was coined.
4)reconnect with guy friends and do stuff with them on a regular basis. This is pretty important if you don't want your life to suck.
Good luck. (You're not alone)

5) Have lots of sex. It works to keep a relationship intact.

mell says

but I don't recall such behavior in the generations of our parents or grandparents

That's exactly right. Earlier generations didn't have the huge sense of entitlement that people born from mid-century on had, a lot of it generated by a general rights-based culture from the mid-60's on as opposed to a rules-based culture earlier. My parents, born in 1898 and 1902, would have rather died than make public spectacles of themselves by dressing or acting strangely in public, especially my father, who has been deceased 59 years. They were immensely thankful for what they had and always told me to put God first, others second and myself third in my priorities. The 12 couples with whom they were friends, all born five years either side of 1900, always seemed happy and were always getting together to eat with each other then play bridge for a couple of hours at each other's homes. They also lived by what we call traditional values and were religiously observant in the Christian tradition. There seems to be a general unhappiness today that informs all of life even when people have rights out the kazoo that my parents' would never have dreamed existed.

Strategist says

5) Have lots of sex. It works to keep a relationship intac

if the wife won't allow, then become friends with Rn.

I would absolutely refuse to attend any kind of therapy, ever. If you go, you lose because you let yourself be pushed around, and women hate hate hate men that they can push around.

If you refuse, you are showing a bit of dominance, which is worth way more than any therapy.

Maybe bad advice, but that's what I would do.

It's hard to blame females for "men" being such fucking pussies

mell says

Back from some good skiing in the mountains where I observed 3 apres-ski scenarios:

That's what you get for skiing at some California governor moonbeam namby pamby resort.

This is why God invented plywood pillories and military academies.

You guys should read some dalrock blog (I think I know some of you do already). Dalrock has Christian perspective, but do not let that stop you from learning from him. He is very insightful, and the comment section is excellent, too.

P N Dr Lo R says

My parents, born in 1898 and 1902,

Wow, man, you must be one of the elders of patrick.net. Congratulations. You and ohlone whats-his-number :).

I already knew that just by observing the gear selection...

justme says

Wow, man, you must be one of the elders of patrick.net. Congratulations.

mell says

I agree on dual income, often the 2nd income is far less and gets eaten by taxes, only to cause issues in the relationship. IMO the person with the larger income should work only and the other one should assume full house duty and take care of the kid

especially when young; daycare is quite expensive

Macropodia says

I already knew that just by observing the gear selection...

Gear as in gearbox or gear as in equipment? Either way, I think my gear selection does not understand the lingo of your gear selection.

MMR says

especially when young; daycare is quite expensive

Yeah, in the bay area it eats a whole lower-middle-class salary. If one makes 70K or less, don't bother going to work, just stay at home and save on daycare.

justme says

P N Dr Lo R says

My parents, born in 1898 and 1902,

Christ, you're PRE BoomFuck! I thought they were all dead.

P N Dr Lo R

justme says

Macropodia says

I already knew that just by observing the gear selection...

Gear as in gearbox or gear as in equipment? Either way, I think my gear selection does not understand the lingo of your gear selection.

mell says

Yeah, in the bay area it eats a whole lower-middle-class salary. If one makes 70K or less, don't bother going to work, just stay at home and save on daycare.

It may also be true for parents with college-age children. The way financial aid calculators work, you may be better off scaling down work an income.