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follow BayAreaObserver 2017 May 26, 4:19am
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Though you undoubtedly follow The Babylon Beeâ€˜s unparalleled coverage of the â€œprosperity gospelâ€ (sometimes called the â€œhealth and wealth gospel,â€ â€œgospel of success,â€ â€œWord of Faith movement,â€ â€œname it and claim it theology,â€ or simply â€œusing the name of Jesus to get incredibly richâ€), maybe youâ€™ve found yourself wanting to know more about this intriguing worldview and the slick, smiley, plastic-looking people you see on TV preaching about Jesus and success. Well, wonder no more! Weâ€™ve put together this short, accurate crash course on the essence of the prosperity gospel, just for you.
WHAT ARE ITS MAIN TEACHINGS?
Prosperity gospel proponents teach that God wants you to be healthy, wealthy, and prosperous in all areas of life, as long as youâ€”yes, YOUâ€”send them some money, like right now.
WHO INVENTED IT?
A devout follower of Christ named Judas Iscariot laid the foundation for the prosperity gospel circa AD 30 when he successfully named and claimed a bag full of money in the name of Jesus, and it gained worldwide appeal in the 20th century thanks to Oral Roberts, Robert Tilton, Kenneth Hagin, and natural mankindâ€™s innate greed.
WHO ARE SOME NOTABLE ADHERENTS?
Joel Osteen, Benny Hinn, Creflo Dollar, Kenneth Copeland, Joyce Meyer, Paula White, T.D. Jakes, anyone on TBN, most of the National Football League, millions of desperate people suffering from crippling poverty or incurable diseases who are willing to give whatever they have to anyone who tells them that doing so will cause God to fix their situation.
WHOâ€™S, LIKE, RIGHT ON THE EDGE?
WHO ARE SOME NOTABLE OPPONENTS?
John Piper, John MacArthur, John the Baptist, John the Disciple, pretty much all other Johns, David Platt, Francis Chan, Al Mohler, Russell Moore, pretty much anyone with intellectual honesty and the ability to read at a second-grade level, the Internal Revenue Service, the Bible, God.
IS IT BIBLICAL?
Yes, the prosperity gospel is laid out clearly in 2 Timothy 4:3â€“4.
OK, CUT TO THE CHASEâ€”DOES IT WORK?
The prosperity gospel has proven itself by enriching dozens of people, most of whom are named above. Sure, millions are still languishing in poverty after donating their life savings to help Creflo Dollar buy this yearâ€™s luxury Gulfstream model, but itâ€™s not his fault those plebs donâ€™t have enough faith or favor, you know? So now that you have proof, the real question is do you trust God enough to sow a $1,000 seed of faith right now or donâ€™t you?
#Religion #ProsperityGospel #Greed #Humor
Creflo Dollar, Joseph Prince, and Joel Osteen are hilarious. Wake up early on a Sunday morning and you will see....you will wonder who the hell the gullible people in the audience are.
If you want over the top, search Benny Hinn on YouTube.
Hinn and Kenneth Copeland are also hilarious, I used to love listening to Rev. Ike from Chicago telling his followers to send their money to him, God didn't want them to have it - he needed it more than they did.
See someone doesn't like Christian satire written by Christians - guess you won't like this any better...