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Hippy spends 6 months and $11,000 finding himself; discovers that he is a cliche c*#t.

By Hassan_Rouhani following x   2017 Aug 23, 12:06pm 999 views   9 comments   watch   sfw   quote     share    

19 year old Jonty Cockburn has spent the past 6 months traveling the world and visiting some of the world’s most spiritual places, only to realise that he is a boring, hypocritical, “clichéd c*#t” he says.

Cockburn’s expensive round-the-world trip has taken him through countries such as Goa, Mongolia, Peru, and Burma, but it wasn’t until New Zealand that he found himself.

Cockburn spoke about the realisation and how it overcame him as he sat around a drum circle at an organic chickpea farm in New Zealand’s North Island.

What triggered Cockburn, was when he realised that he was surrounded by 8 near-identical looking white, hair tied into a bun, poncho-wearing, bucket-hat sporting, fire-poi spinning, terribly tattooed hippies.

He realised then that he had spent most of his life judging others for being “too mainstream,” and for “not caring enough about the world.” Cockburn has lost many friends arguing over basic things such as the price of milk and how TV is controlling the population, but now he realises that he can only control his own life and he should mind his own business.

Cockburns Facebook profile lists his interests as ‘legalisation, hacky-sack [and]… psytrance’, but Cockburn now tells has that he intends to cut his dreadlocks off, throw away his propagator and burn his embarrassing collection of tye-dye t-shirts.

“I thought I was an individual snowflake, but then I realised that actually, all snow looks the same to the naked human eye.” Cockburn went on to say that he doesn’t “want to sit around anymore talking about how we’re going to change the world with a revolution, only to then consume an entire bag of Cool Original Doritos, watch re-runs of Blackadder, and then fall asleep.”

“I want to actually do something worthwhile with my life instead.”


1   Hassan_Rouhani   ignore (3)   2017 Aug 23, 12:08pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

WTF is "propagator"? Some kind of a dildo?

2   Ernie   ignore (0)   2017 Aug 23, 12:12pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

SpecialSnowflake says

WTF is "propagator"? Some kind of a dildo?

Depending on the audience, it can be either something related to growing marijuana plants, or a function that specifies the probability amplitude for a particle to travel from one place to another in a given time.

3   Quigley   ignore (0)   2017 Aug 23, 1:19pm   ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

At least he got an education! Most people who do that wind up as self-righteous bigots who think everyone else is a racist imperialist.

4   komputodo   ignore (0)   2017 Aug 23, 3:17pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

He looks like the homo twin brother of RAY DONOVAN.

5   komputodo   ignore (0)   2017 Aug 23, 3:19pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

SpecialSnowflake says

WTF is "propagator"? Some kind of a dildo?

I think it's one of those expandable dildos that you can pump up.

6   Ceffer   ignore (1)   2017 Aug 23, 3:38pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

He really should have persevered at being a compete dick, he had potential.

The path to total dick-dom requires sacrifice and dedication.

I wouldn't throw out my propagator, it's still a lot of fun to rub.

7   Ceffer   ignore (1)   2017 Aug 23, 3:49pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

Cliche cunt is better than no cunt.

8   Patrick   ignore (0)   2017 Aug 23, 3:52pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

I added the image to the original post. It's perfect.

9   Ceffer   ignore (1)   2017 Aug 23, 3:59pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

His Japanese war knot gives you something to hold while bitch slapping him.

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