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Home Depot Panics Over Millennials; Forced To Host Tutorials On Using Tape Measures, Hammering Nails.


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2017 Oct 10, 11:04am   4,185 views  26 comments

by MrMagic   ➕follow (2)   💰tip   ignore  

As wall street analysts celebrate the coming of age of the millennial generation, a group of young people who were supposed to lead another revolutionary wave of consumerism if only they could work long enough to escape their parents' basement, retailers like Home Depot are panicked about selling into what will soon be America's largest demographic...but not for the reasons you might think.

While avocado resellers like Whole Foods only have to worry about creating a catchy advertising campaign to attract millennials, Home Depot is in full-on panic mode after realizing that an entire generation of Americans have absolutely no clue how to use their products. As the Wall Street Journal points out, the company has been forced to spend millions to create video tutorials and host in-store classes on how to do everything from using a tape measure to mopping a floor and hammering a nail.

Home Depot's VP of marketing admits she was originally hesitant because she thought some of their videos might be a bit too "condescending" but she quickly learned they were very necessary for our pampered millennials.

While we have our doubts that it will save their business, retailers like J.C. Penney and West Elm are trying to adapt to the millennial generation by offering basic in-home services like installing televisions or hanging wall art.

J.C. Penney Co. says the group is willing to hire others for projects. The retailer has pushed into home services, including furnace and air-conditioning repair, water-treatment systems and bathroom renovations, and expanded its window-covering installation.

“They’re much more of a ‘Do-It-for-Me’ type of customer than a ‘Do-It-Yourself’ customer,” says Joe McFarland, executive vice president of J.C. Penney stores. “You don’t need a ladder or a power drill, you don’t even have to wonder if you measured your window right.”

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2017-10-10/home-depot-panicked-over-millennials-forced-host-tutorials-using-tape-measures-hamme

Comments 1 - 26 of 26        Search these comments

1   anonymous   2017 Oct 10, 11:19am  

Aha, in Bulgaria and Russia they have no homes comparable to U.S. to fix but can prove manhood by binge drinking to early death and save government money due to not needing to pay out pensions. Brilliant agitprop!
2   Ceffer   2017 Oct 10, 11:26am  

Does Home Depot have any good videos on Hookah Repair?
3   FNWGMOBDVZXDNW   2017 Oct 10, 11:49am  

Who raised those fucking idiots?
4   Tenpoundbass   2017 Oct 10, 11:55am  

By the time I was 18, I had worked on farms, both agriculture and livestock, pigs, cows and chickens.
I had worked in carpentry building house, framing, roofing, siding, flooring, My neighbor when I was a kid, built wooden houses on a trailer then moved them to a lot after he sold them to someone. There was so much I did that many kids my age also did, I was not a rare breed. It's what kids did or learned to do during their summer breaks.
5   anonymous   2017 Oct 10, 11:57am  

Tenpoundbass says
By the time I was 18, I had worked on farms, both agriculture and livestock, pigs, cows and chickens.
I had worked in carpentry building house, framing, roofing, siding, flooring, My neighbor when I was a kid, built wooden houses on a trailer then moved them to a lot after he sold them to someone. There was so much I did that many kids my age also did, I was not a rare breed. It's what kids did or learned to do during their summer breaks.


So how did you become brainwashed to support Failed Losers like Trump and all the other Republicans?
6   Ceffer   2017 Oct 10, 11:58am  

Maybe some nice videos on using nail guns to crucify pets in the basement during satanic, drug saturated rites will get them back on track.
7   anonymous   2017 Oct 10, 12:20pm  

Gentle Reader,

Yes, tape measure class is nothing new. We have to teach them how to use a thumb screw to tighten and loosen connections on electromechanical instruments. They'll learn it well enough, but it is a little frustrating. We've been doing this for better than a decade now.

Regards,
Roidy
8   Heraclitusstudent   2017 Oct 10, 1:03pm  

Homedepot should panic about the fact the next generation will not have a home to tinker with.
9   WookieMan   2017 Oct 10, 5:12pm  

These generational comparisons are really stupid. I would agree millennial's are less mechanically and construction minded, but that's likely because they don't need to be. I personally rehabbed 90% of my current home myself and I'm an older millennial. That was 4 years ago. If I did it again today I would hire out 90% of it because I can.

Being able to work on a house or be mechanically inclined, if you're truly successful, is not necessarily a good thing. Any successful boomer, gen x or y'r that I know, if measured by wealth, is not very good at doing anything the home depot would be teaching (outside of the actual trades people that own/run their own businesses). I know this is a generalization, but the successful focus on what they're good at. They're not a jack of all trades. Very few succeed trying to do everything on their own.

I enjoy some projects as a hobby. But at this point in my life, I'm losing substantial money doing anything on my own vs. hiring it out. Time is money man. Those that fail to see that are losing one of the two. Time or money, you choose.
10   FortWayne   2017 Oct 10, 5:15pm  

But those kids know how to cry for Hillary.
11   FortWayne   2017 Oct 10, 5:17pm  

Next tutorial will be on wiping, Dan should be excited about that one
12   HEY YOU   2017 Oct 10, 5:28pm  

All one has to do is hit the "any' key & what they want comes to fruition.
We certainly wouldn't want to exert any physical effort.

WookieMan says
Time is money man. Those that fail to see that are losing one of the two. Time or money, you choose.


The big question: How much time does one waste doing things that are not top priorities?
13   anonymous   2017 Oct 10, 6:52pm  

Wookie man - said " these generational comparisons are stupid"

Agreed - the whole thing reeks of angry old guys arguing humanity is doomed b/c of changing lifestyles- all shaking their fist screaming "kids today"!!!

These were the same guys whose grandpas said they would all starve because they didn't learn shit about animal husbandry. Lol - How did that one turn out?

40 years from now crotchety millenis will be texting each other about their "idiot" grandkids adding the tag line "#kidstoday"
14   MrMagic   2017 Oct 10, 7:17pm  

WookieMan says
These generational comparisons are really stupid. I would agree millennial's are less mechanically and construction minded, but that's likely because they don't need to be.


The OP isn't making reference to Millennials building their houses from scratch... Duh..

It's referencing the basics, like hanging shelves, changing a door lock, replacing handles on cabinets, putting up a towel bar. The majority of Millennials don't even know which end of a screwdriver to hold.
15   anonymous   2017 Oct 10, 7:32pm  

me123 says
WookieMan says
These generational comparisons are really stupid. I would agree millennial's are less mechanically and construction minded, but that's likely because they don't need to be.


The OP isn't making reference to Millennials building their houses from scratch... Duh..

It's referencing the basics, like hanging shelves, changing a door lock, replacing handles on cabinets, putting up a towel bar. The majority of Millennials don't even know which end of a screwdriver to hold.


That’s false, but coming from you, no surprise.

Some of us can do all these things but after a cost benefit analysis, quickly realize that we can work our trades and buy 3 hours of general labor from an aged and worthless boomer like yourself, with the proceeds of one hour of our labor.

Also, it takes tools to do any kind of carpentry, and it’s cheaper to pay someone else than to invest in, store, and maintain them. Again, simple cost benefit analysis, something that is foreign to people like you.

Also, every millennial knows that there’s a how to video for literally everything, free and easy to utilize on the web.

Times are changing and they’ve passed you bye. You’re as good as dead, no wonder you’re so miserable
16   Tenpoundbass   2017 Oct 10, 7:33pm  

errc says
So how did you become brainwashed to support Failed Losers like Trump and all the other Republicans?

The Liberals did all of the work. The rest of was just commonsense and self preservation.
17   WookieMan   2017 Oct 10, 7:52pm  

me123 says
It's referencing the basics, like hanging shelves, changing a door lock, replacing handles on cabinets, putting up a towel bar. The majority of Millennials don't even know which end of a screwdriver to hold.

Which the same can be said of the boomers working at home depot that are supposed to help me. I go in expecting someone of that age to have had some experience and they simply don't know shit. Any HD I've been to the demographics skew very heavily towards boomer aged employees. They're not good at their job, I don't think that can be disputed if you go to any HD store. Might be different in your area I suppose.

And if being handy was so important you would think they would be retired, right? Not working at HD? And that's my point. Successful people don't worry, need or care about hanging shelves, locks, etc. They're busy making money. Does your average millennial know how to do most of the tasks you listed? Probably is my guess or at least could figure it out. The smart one's just get their shit on Amazon or a supplier that has quality goods so they don't even have to leave the house and deal with the BS at an HD store.

There are obviously emergencies, but only an idiot goes to HD every time they need something. And 90% of the shit you buy at HD is complete garbage outside of electric and plumbing supplies (maybe garden). Buying a faucet from HD? Buying a light fixture from HD? Buying tile from HD? You might want to reassess your station in life if you're doing that.

The average American is dumb as fuck. It's quite clear when the median family/household income is less than $60k, which includes the HD employee. I don't think the "dumb ass" gene just skips generations. All of the have them.

You can say "I" instead of OP as well.
18   MrMagic   2017 Oct 10, 7:59pm  

WookieMan says
The smart one's just get their shit on Amazon or a supplier that has quality goods so they don't even have to leave the house and deal with the BS at an HD store.

WookieMan says
The average American is dumb as fuck.


So what are the percentages of those two groups?
19   WookieMan   2017 Oct 10, 8:14pm  

me123 says
WookieMan says
The smart one's just get their shit on Amazon or a supplier that has quality goods so they don't even have to leave the house and deal with the BS at an HD store.

WookieMan says
The average American is dumb as fuck.


So what are the percentages of those two groups?

First group, maybe 30%.

Second group, at least 70%.

Both percentages I just pulled out of my ass based on anecdotal evidence in my own life. I might be high on the 30%, I'd like to think of my peers closer in age to me are smarter, basically I'm projecting as I think a lot of boomers do with their own generation.

70% of Americans are legit idiots though. If a husband and wife, wife/wife, husband/husband combo can't make $100k/yr, they're not very smart in my book. Technically I'm being generous with 70%: http://www.bankrate.com/finance/personal-finance/100-000-income-no-big-deal-anymore-1.aspx

me123 says

Think about it, at that age, if they were "good" at their job, do you think they would be working at HD for $15/hr. If they were good at their job, they'd be in a mid manager job making at least $75K or more, not giving you advice on nails at HD.


And this is my point. Millennials have deadbeats. Gen X has deadbeats. Boomers have deadbeats. If anything, you should be seeing an opportunity to take advantage of this market disturbance. Millennials are idiots. Start a home or handy man service that is directly targeted at this age group and capitalize on it. If they don't know how to use a screw driver it should be like stealing candy from a baby, right?
20   Shaman   2017 Oct 10, 8:49pm  

Not everyone is as competent as I am.
Not that it matters.
People will continue to live their lives somehow, even if they have to call in a friend with a tape measure and a mediocre grasp of math to hang a picture.
21   MrMagic   2017 Oct 10, 9:50pm  

WookieMan says
Start a home or handy man service that is directly targeted at this age group and capitalize on it. If they don't know how to use a screw driver it should be like stealing candy from a baby, right?


One small issue, they're broke too, so good luck trying to get paid from them.
22   WookieMan   2017 Oct 10, 10:05pm  

me123 says

Millennials AREN'T successful, many still live in mommy's basement playing video games. How handy do you think they are, beyond being able to plug in their game controllers?

Listen, I'm not going to sit here and argue one generation is better then the other. It's a losing argument anyway you look at it. Your blanket statement that "Millennials AREN'T successful" is just wrong. Be proud and own this: https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/personalfinance/retirement/2017/03/03/10-statistics-that-prove-baby-boomers-are-in-big-trouble/98526764/
When you're dead and we have the data for Millennials about to retire we can then compare, right? Again 70% of people can't get out of their own way and they have no idea. You might be part of the smart 30% of boomers, gen x/y or whatever fucking generation you want to name or you might be part of the 70%. The comparisons need to stop. Most people are stupid in EVERY generation. Those in the 30% are smart and/or lucky.

Again, from my previous comment, 80% of people/families don't make $100k/yr. It's not difficult or hard to attain this level of income, yet 80% of American households CAN'T do it. Good for you if you did. Your boomer brethren didn't, for the most part, attain this income level either. Hell they can't even get $200k of retirement savings after 30+ years of working. As mentioned before, I'd say let's judge the fist wave of Millennials in 25 years when the first of them can start to retire. Because if $178k in a retirement account when I'm ready to retire is a success by boomer standards, then I'm already there.
23   WookieMan   2017 Oct 10, 10:29pm  

me123 says
One small issue, they're broke too, so good luck trying to get paid from them.

Jesus, everyone is broke if you really want to break it down. We both know people live beyond their means, I don't think that needs mentioning. You can't honestly think an entire generation of humans, literally have no idea how to interact/work after being raised by the previous boomer generation, right? You're saying Millennials are essentially garbage, yet the generation that raised them is superior? How does that work?

As I mentioned before, I'm biased, front line (older) Millennial here. But all I see is hard working people around me, at least the ones that want to work. I keep going back to arbitrary percentages, but 70% of people don't want to work and that's been the case for a while in any generation. Most humans, when allowed, will to the minimum to get by and survive. Do I like that? No. But you can't take the human out of the human regardless of the generation. Mind you I'm not coming here saying Millennials are better than another generation. I'm being realistic, they're all lazy for the most part down to a minor percentage difference between generations.
24   anonymous   2017 Oct 11, 7:12am  

Me123 said "it's referencing the basics"

Basics like the planer, the awl and forstner? How bout those tin snips - goddamn boomers think they are too good to cut tin anymore. And god forbid any of you pull out that brand new tool and die kit I gave you in 1972. pipe cutters? Forget it. You guys are just too lazy and would rather call a plumber.

#kidstoday. #americaisdoomed
25   zzyzzx   2017 Oct 11, 7:49am  

Any of you guys try watching the video?
Turn your sound off, since it's really text only with music in the background.

www.youtube.com/embed/M73r32vK7C4

Didn't know about the red text every 16 inches, but other then that, I learned nothing.
26   WookieMan   2017 Oct 11, 10:26am  

me123 says
Then why would Home Depot be specifically referencing Millennials? They deal with all cross sections: Greatest generation, Boomers, Gen X, Gen Y (Millennials), etc.. Don't you think they have just a little bit more data and knowledge than you have in your small world


Oh I don't dispute the Home Depot data at all. It's probably correct. My point is ripping one generation over another is nauseating at this point. Most boomers are bumble fucks with computers. That doesn't make the entire generation somewhat lesser because of one thing.

Every generation has amazing people, bad people, lazy people, etc. So millennials aren't into home repair. Does it really matter? If yes, then don't buy Home Depot stock. Outside of that generalizing a generation based on one data point, from one retailer is silly.

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