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Why did God invent lawyers?


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2018 Feb 23, 2:17pm   2,143 views  7 comments

by MAGA   ➕follow (1)   💰tip   ignore  

Answer: So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.

http://www.iciclesoftware.com/LawJokes/IcicleLawJokes.html

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1   WookieMan   2018 Feb 23, 2:28pm  

jvolstad says
Answer: So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.

http://www.iciclesoftware.com/LawJokes/IcicleLawJokes.html


My sister and dad are attorneys. Love 'em. But they're actually worse then real estate agents when it come to screwing people. Agents take their 2.5-3%. Attorneys need 30% or some ungodly hourly fee for having a paralegal do their work for them.
2   Ceffer   2018 Feb 23, 3:02pm  

The legal system is a branch of government, and the main role of government is to draw money and power from the people. The legal system is set up to do that by exploiting inevitable human conflict, so it is a conflict vampire.

Most law students probably realize pretty early in their education that their primary function is simply to resolve conflict by disempowering their clients by taking their money away from them through legal process. Legal process is designed to be too expensive for anybody to routinely use it who is not financially in the top 0.1 percent of the population. That would include large financial entities. Thus, the Law is also in the business of preserving status, money and power.

In the olden days, the king would resolve disputes by taking all or most of the money away from fighting peasants, then killing or imprisoning one while setting the other one free with some kind of pittance. He would do what most political entities do, he seized any source of money and power as much as he could, and released as little of it back as necessary to the population to preserve the peace. If an aristocrat and a peasant got into a conflict, the aristocrat would simply bribe the king, and the king would kill or disenfranchise the peasant for him. (Nowadays, we have included contingency law and the legal lottery to keep the idiot peasants invested in the system through depraved motives.) Concessions would also have to be made by the law to preserving public order and maintaining systems of property ownership and monetary systems for predictable commerce.

When kings found the process of resolving disputes tedious and burdensome, the various common laws were engendered. Since most people were illiterate, clerics often wrote up the common law, and in English societies, included a lot of Latin to make the law further imponderable and opaque to the masses.

Since you have enlisted the power of government to come down on your side in a dispute, you have agreed to a process that is designed by tradition to be as slow, complicated and expensive as possible, while holding you and your legal opponent hostage as long as possible to the practices of lawyers, whose main goal is to get as much out of you as possible for often arbitrary and unpredictable outcomes. Lawyers represent first the legal system that feeds them, second lawyers themselves including opposing counsel, and only as a distant third, their clients who are assessed according the means that they can put at the lawyer's disposal.

The saying is that when you have a lawyer, you have a wolf by the ears. Only ludicrous amounts of money keep the wolf from eviscerating you or tearing you apart by design, no matter how much the devil may flatter you or appeal to your worst instincts of greed, fear, resentment and vindictiveness.
3   🎂 Tenpoundbass   2018 Feb 23, 3:07pm  

To enforce Liberalism's overreach.
4   BayArea   2018 Feb 23, 6:11pm  

People you never ever trust:

Realtors
Lawyers
HR Departments
Wall Street Guys

These professions attract scumbags. And for those who aren’t scumbags when they went into the profession, they become scumbags (you have to to excel in the field).
5   HowdyThere   2018 Feb 23, 8:20pm  

During a divorce, everything gets divided equally.

He gets a quarter
She gets a quarter
His lawyer gets a quarter
Her lawyer gets a quarter
6   WookieMan   2018 Feb 24, 4:56am  

BayArea says
HR Departments


I don't do corporate for a career on my end and never will. How are HR people D-bags? Serious question. I've never had to deal with them, so just wondering how they're on the level with Attorneys At Law, REALTORS and Wall $treet guys. I honestly only know one person that works in HR, but I don't really know her well. I'm sure there's D-baggery going on, I just don't know how it goes down though.
7   WookieMan   2018 Feb 24, 5:00am  

HowdyThere says
He gets a quarter
She gets a quarter
His lawyer gets a quarter
Her lawyer gets a quarter


Lol. Just had a FB friend post about their hubby's "family law" practice. He's doing so well he got an award for being an attorney under 40 promoting divorce and skimming for assets and wealth in the process. God this is why I hate attorneys. These guys in "family law" are literally advertising they're the best at destroying your spouse and breaking apart your family. This is where attorneys take the cake over all "professions."

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