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Will Do Anything to End Homelessness Except Build More Homes

By Feux Follets following x   2018 May 10, 2:47am 404 views   15 comments   watch   sfw   quote     share    


Homelessness in America has reached crisis levels and I am determined to do everything in my power to fix the problem as long as it doesn’t involve changing zoning laws or my ability to drive alone to work or, well, changing anything, really.

I’m more than happy to give a hungry man a sandwich once a year and then brag to my friends about it as long as he doesn’t sit down anywhere in my line of sight to eat it. Same goes for hungry women because I’m also a feminist.

This is so important because everyone should have a bed to sleep in at night and also nothing destroys property values faster than a desperate person on a sidewalk asking for change. I’m not saying I don’t care about human suffering, I just care much, much more about my immediate self-interest because I’m the kind of person who contributes to society by starting companies that leverage technology to build smart tea kettles that brew themselves while you sleep at night. I’m a fucking innovator.

I’m innovating for win-win-whatever solutions where I win, my community wins, and we do whatever to get rid of homelessness. Fixing the problem means lots of things: letters to the editor of my local newspaper, bombastic statements to the press that will make the fruit of my loins cringe for generations, and especially writing vaguely discriminatory, definitely ugly posts on social media about the crisis as it unfolds in my community. Also, I call the police a lot.

Ending homelessness doesn’t mean building more homes because this town is full of homes already, especially mine, which is a single-family mini-mansion on an acre lot that I inherited from my parents and/or managed to purchase with the kind of job and bank terms and economic equality that don’t exist anymore for anyone and only ever really existed for well-educated white Americans. Either that or it’s a magnificent luxury condo with expansive views that I don’t want marred by more luxury condos or — god forbid — affordable housing.

Every room in my Instagram-worthy abode is either filled with clutter or rented out nightly to hipsters from another gentrified, monotone city also suffering from a homelessness crisis — this is a national epidemic, after all. I’m a good person, a generous person, and what made me the person I am is having to work hard for everything my parents gave me, and everything I will, in turn, give to my children.

Listen, I know that the unholy concentration of wealth in America is a big, big, problem, but so is having to constantly say no to people asking for change as I whizz into Whole Foods in my Tesla or Prius (depending on how my startup investments pan out). What’s the point of having all this money if I have to feel bad about it? Also, has anyone actually verified that the homeless people claiming to be veterans aren’t just pulling some elaborate fraud? I’ve never actually met a veteran and I forget for like, decades at a time that the military even exists because the bubble of privilege where I reside is literally impregnable, but I’m suspicious nonetheless.

I know we need more housing, but I was here first and I’m not giving up even one blade of grass on my water-guzzling, pesticide-leaching lawn or a single burner on my twelve-burner Viking range that I never actually use to house another human soul. Tough luck, homeless people. You and your allies can call me names but I won’t hear you over the lushness of my climate-inappropriate rose bushes and the stucco walls I’m paying some desperate immigrant under the table to build for me on the cheap before I low-key call ICE and have them deported.

Look, if you give people homes the next thing you know they’re going to start to get their lives together and then get jobs and start organizing and then they’ll expand Medicare to everyone and build a fucking light rail line instead of a goddamn border wall and no one will drive anymore and cars will die out and the air will get clean and can you imagine the problems we’ll have then?

No. Stop it with the new housing; I’d rather have a homeless crisis.

#Housing #Homelessness #Satire


1   Quigley   ignore (0)   2018 May 10, 5:46am   ↑ like (8)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

Officers cleared out the Santa Ana River encampment and offered housing aid to all found there at public expense. While 50% of the homeless took them up on a 30 day motel stay, only 10% wanted permanent housing.
The homeless problem is a problem with the mental states of the homeless themselves.

Not saying we don’t need more housing, but looking at people panhandling on the street is no good indicator. Those aren’t regular people, they’re hucksters and drug addicts who couldn’t manage a true home if it was given to them.
2   Onvacation   ignore (2)   2018 May 10, 7:19am   ↑ like (4)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

Feux Follets says
if you give people homes the next thing you know they’re going to start to get their lives together

No. If you give people homes they will have babies and the problem will triple for the next generation.
Personal responsibility cannot be legislated or enforced.
3   zzyzzx   ignore (1)   2018 May 10, 7:27am   ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

Cardboard boxes for the homeless!
Either that or send the police out with M134's to take them out.
4   FortWayne   ignore (1)   2018 May 10, 7:42am   ↑ like (4)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

Building homes for homeless just rewards homelessness. Those people are not capable of a life more than the cardboard boxes they have as "homes".

What we need is more homes for working people. More SFR's,not lots of apartments where they pay rent.
5   Hassan_Rouhani   ignore (2)   2018 May 10, 1:02pm   ↑ like (3)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

Feux Follets says
Look, if you give people homes the next thing you know they’re going to start to get their lives together and then get jobs and start organizing and then they’ll expand Medicare to everyone and build a fucking light rail line instead of a goddamn border wall and no one will drive anymore and cars will die out and the air will get clean and can you imagine the problems we’ll have then?


ROTFLMAO.

So easy, so simple. Just give people free homes and everything will be hunky-dory forever and ever. Piece of cake! Why nobody ever thought of it? Wait, USSR did! They promised every family a free apartment by 2000. The problem? The whole fucking thing folded in 1991 leaving some families who've been on a waitlist for 20 years with nothing. Woops.
6   drB6   ignore (1)   2018 May 10, 2:17pm   ↑ like (3)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

Feux Follets says
only ever really existed for well-educated white Americans.

And now exists for Asian Americans, not that there is anything wrong with it. In our city, the most expensive neighborhoods are filling with Chinese-American, Indian-American, Vietnamese-American etc families. They worked their asses of, became doctors, and now earn good money, while everyone else screamed for affirmative action, work-life balance, equal opportunities, and other assorted unproductive crap.
Feux Follets says
affordable housing

We had one Title something house on our street, where government paid rent for New Orleans Katrina evacuees for a year or so. Kids were throwing gang signs on the street, and police was called there every few months. After that experience, I do not really want affordable housing near where I live. in theory I understand, in practice I have no wish for this.
Feux Follets says
if you give people homes the next thing you know they’re going to start to get their lives together and then get jobs and start organizing and then they’ll expand Medicare to everyone and build a fucking light rail line instead of a goddamn border wall and no one will drive anymore and cars will die out

Again, nice but this is in realm of fantasy. "Giving" FREE!STUFF to someone is never an answer. Giving a chance to earn is the answer, I think - and it goes back to your mentioned inequality, which is fueled by government bailing out rich at the expense of poor (banks, mortgage companies, etc). Allow the incompetent rich to go broke and we will have much greater equality and housing affordability because parasitic banks/mortgage companies/realtorsTM will go out of business.
7   Strategist   ignore (1)   2018 May 10, 3:48pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

They like being homeless, that's the problem. Just turn their life into a miserable living hell, and watch how quickly 95% of the homeless disappear. The remaining 5% are the ones who need true help.
8   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (30)   2018 May 10, 4:12pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

Vagrant snipers.

This is why God gave us the 2nd Amendment.
9   Quigley   ignore (0)   2018 May 10, 7:33pm   ↑ like (3)   ↓ dislike (1)   quote        

Giving free stuff is never ever a solution because of this one Truth:
Something given has no value.
10   Strategist   ignore (1)   2018 May 10, 7:43pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

Quigley says
Something given has no value.


Yup. Give the homeless a job and they won't even show up.
11   TrumpingTits   ignore (0)   2018 May 10, 8:26pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

Will Do Anything to End Homelessness Except Build More Homes


Yeah. You noticed that too, eh?
12   FortWayne   ignore (1)   2018 May 10, 9:07pm   ↑ like (2)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

That caricature is not of a homeless.

This is what we have in LA:

and this:

and lots of this:
13   jazz_music   ignore (2)   2018 May 15, 5:36pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

drB6 says
FREE!STUFF

Poisoning the well with that bullshit doesn't work with anyone any more.

The smart people insist on getting something too, and not just give all to the corporations and wealthy.

So if government is so widely taught as being bad at everything they do, then why do the wealthy greatly expand the budget trillions beyond what debt we can ever service? Why seek to monopolize it with tens of thousands of lobbyists when in the 1950's 175 total lobbyists was plenty?

Insanely backward right wing foundations, they all cost us PLENTY from our taxes, the bastards teach that its great to kill us geese laying golden eggs because they still got foreigners to work for them and sell to them and they can always get more cops and armies.

Those bullshit foundations, Heritage Foundation, Harry Bradley Foundation, the Koch Foundation, the Castle Rock Foundation, the Sarah Scaife Foundation. Their corrupting bullshit "teaching machines" were ramped up to full speed even before Reagan took office.

They got half the country running around trying to teach the other half that they are sooooo smart because they all want to have their throats cut financially. That zombie Reagan shit. More and more as social issues are spun around backwards by the right they create life-or-death situations for hard working people.

They were already cranking out buffoons such as Glenn Beck, Bill O'Reilly and Michael Savage: all total corporate shills from this teaching machine that produced an increasingly poisonous culture not just to liberalism, but to the formative culture that makes an aspiring to democracy possible.

This presence of this ideological infrastructure extending from the media to other sites of popular education suggests the need for a new kind of debate, one that is not limited to isolated issues such as health care, but is more broad-based and fundamental, a debate about how power, inequality and money constrict the educational, economic and political conditions that make democracy possible.

The screaming harpies and mindless public relations "intellectuals" that dominate the media today are not the problem; it is the conditions that give rise to the institutions that put them in place, finance them and drown out other voices. What must be clear is that this threat to creating a critically informed citizenry is not merely a crisis of communication and language, but about the ways in which money and power create the educational conditions that make a mockery out of debate while hijacking any vestige of democracy.

http://www.truth-out.org/archive/item/86304-the-powell-memo-and-the-teaching-machines-of-rightwing-extremists
14   jazz_music   ignore (2)   2018 May 15, 5:49pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

Can't you wrong-wingers see your jacked up ideologies in APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch's little parodies???

There are revelations in those little quips.




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