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An Ode to the Feeble Corporate Apology - Taibbi

By Feux Follets following x   2018 Jun 9, 1:48am 152 views   5 comments   watch   sfw   quote     share    


Some of America's biggest capitalist entities are begging for forgiveness on TV – while barely acknowledging their sins

Three of America's biggest companies – Facebook, Wells Fargo and Uber – have been offering up vague apologies via television commercials in recent weeks.

Have a bucket handy.

All three entities are apologizing for recent scandals, all three are pledging to change their ways and all three are basically rolling out the same script:

Hi, America. We were awesome for a long time. Here are some culturally representative shots of people like you smiling and enjoying our services. After repeated denials, we recently had to admit to violating your trust, but the unelucidated bad thing doesn't have to come between us. We promise: we fixed that shit. You will now wake up feeling refreshed in 3,2,1…

There are times when corporate apologies are appropriate and can be taken at face value. After the Tylenol murders in the '80s, for instance, Johnson & Johnson created a new standard in introducing safety caps and the brand (rightfully) survived. That scandal wasn't the company's fault, but it did the right thing anyway.

The three companies apologizing now are a little guiltier.

Full Piece: https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/features/wells-fargo-apology-ad-w521172

#Corporations #Apologies #WeDontMindYouReallyDontMatter #Bullshit

1   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (30)   2018 Jun 9, 3:35am   ↑ like (3)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

Wells should have been dechartered and it's executives shot and left to bleed out slowly on TV and their corpses left to be eaten by starving dogs.
2   georgeliberte   ignore (0)   2018 Jun 9, 7:18am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

I got part way into the Wells Fargo video and was seized by uncontrollable retching. Bad companies (Microsoft, , etc) regain trust only because they are the only game in town. I can put my money in lots of better places than Wells.
3   jazz_music   ignore (2)   2018 Jun 9, 7:09pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

It's alway best to be the one doing the apologizing.

Sorry I took your daughter's virginity.

I promise not to do it again.
4   Patrick   ignore (0)   2018 Jun 9, 9:35pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says
Wells should have been dechartered


Yes, seriously. Companies should face the risk of dissolution.
5   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch   ignore (30)   2018 Jun 10, 5:09am   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote        

Companies executives should be subject to impalement routinely.




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