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#SecondCivilWarLetters


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2018 Jul 4, 7:59am   3,005 views  8 comments

by Patrick   ➕follow (55)   💰tip   ignore  

https://twitter.com/hashtag/secondcivilwarletters


SECRET//NOTRUMP

To Antifa Command:

Half the regiment walked home after we ran out of selfie sticks and wifi for instagram. Granola stores are dry. Our undercover op failed when the Red Caps started doing pushups and using improper pronouns

Send soylent#SecondCivilWarLetters
— Jack Posobiec?? (@JackPosobiec) July 3, 2018

Dear Parents,

We had no idea wearing all black in summer would lead to this many casualties. They warned us in Basic about living outdoors but we didn’t believe them.

Reports of Special Forces Q Brigades in the hills nearby.

Don’t pray for us. #SecondCivilWarLetters
— Jack Posobiec?? (@JackPosobiec) July 3, 2018

#secondcivilwarletters
My Darling Clara,
I write to you today along the Twittermattox timeline where the infirmary tents continue to fill without cessation, the woods ringing with the barking despairs hollowed-eyed souls driven to madness by butthurt and sick burns.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) July 3, 2018

My dearest mother;

I'm all out of organic sunscreen and the microagressions have really taken a toll

I'm shook, the worst part of battle was when someone addressed me without proper pronouns, and assumed I wanted to use the men's restroom #secondcivilwarletters
— PinkAboutIt ?? (@Pink_About_it) July 3, 2018

Amy;
I am safely in Vancouver.
It is lovely. Everyone rides bicycles.
Their prime minister seems delightful.
I will attempt to send Coffee Crisp and Ketchup flavoured Lays to you and your battalion in the morn.
- James#secondcivilwarletters
— Steve Marmel (@Marmel) July 3, 2018

My dearest Madison;
Whilst engaging hostiles in Santa Clarita, we found ourselves pinned down between Starbucks, Peets, Seattle's Best and an Einstein's bagels. We are running low of seasonal blends and jalapeño cheddar.
Send rations.
- Regards, Corey
#secondcivilwarletters
— Steve Marmel (@Marmel) July 3, 2018

To the Parents of Sgt Phineas Hoobastank,

I write to inform you of the passing of your son.

His entire platoon was wiped out when their pink woolen caps were sighted through the woods by the enemy.

Your loving leader,

Chancellor Hillary Clinton#secondcivilwarletters
— Jack Posobiec?? (@JackPosobiec) July 3, 2018

My dearest Beatrice,

Time draws nigh as the summer days drag on and the Red Caps close in on our safe spaces

Our hope is lower than CNN’s ratings

The end looms near

We’ve lost Stormy Daniels

Sing her ballad

#SecondCivilWarLetters
— Jack Posobiec?? (@JackPosobiec) July 3, 2018

Clarissa,

You may have heard Paul Joseph Watson was captured by our company yesterday. He kept telling us to imagine his shock, until Fatima shoved her hijab in his mouth. He is being well treated, despite his protests at the soy milk. War is hell, eh? #secondcivilwarletters
— Mike Stuchbery ?? (@MikeStuchbery_) July 3, 2018

Dearest Xer,

Conditions on the front are grim. Our soy rations are down to two lattes a day. Wifi is only one bar. We have but the writings of Senator Ta-Nehisi to comfort us during the frog barrages. Intel reports General McInnes’ forces are on the move

#secondcivilwarletters
— Jack Posobiec?? (@JackPosobiec) July 3, 2018

Comments 1 - 8 of 8        Search these comments

1   georgeliberte   2018 Jul 5, 8:32am  

Great satire. Wait, it is satire right?
2   Patrick   2018 Jul 5, 10:16am  

Actually is a twitter feed:

https://twitter.com/hashtag/secondcivilwarletters

Will add to original post.
3   Ceffer   2018 Jul 5, 11:15am  

Rip out their nipple rings and drag them around by their tongue piercings!
4   MisdemeanorRebel   2018 Jul 5, 12:53pm  

Kino Jimenez, who stole a 16-year old's MAGA hat, has multiple DUIs, a bartender in San Antonio.

Why is a 30-year old with multiple DUIs (and a burglary charge) still walking around and not in prison, or if possible, de-fucking-ported?

5   MisdemeanorRebel   2018 Jul 5, 1:00pm  

Spreading to... DENMARK?!
www.youtube.com/embed/MR3Qz72MGcA

$5 says this is another privileged Coastie Urban Elite Trustafarian.
6   Shaman   2018 Jul 5, 2:10pm  

Definitely a women’s studies Major. Nobody gets that upset at a stranger without some serious cognitive dissonance at work to justify borrowing $120k for a completely worthless degree. They just HAVE to prove that everyone else is a horrible person for making different (sane) choices!
7   steverbeaver   2018 Jul 5, 2:50pm  

I'm sure all these "anti-racists" have already personally sponsored no less than two rapefugees with their own money and property.
8   mell   2018 Jul 5, 2:51pm  

Quigley says
Definitely a women’s studies Major. Nobody gets that upset at a stranger without some serious cognitive dissonance at work to justify borrowing $120k for a completely worthless degree. They just HAVE to prove that everyone else is a horrible person for making different (sane) choices!


Probably ovulating. Also may need to go for correctional future wife training to the middle-east. Ironically it is Trump's America which protects her from being stoned to death at the first swear-word. When women become more unhinged and potty-mouthed than 90% of men we know we have turned a wrong corner somewhere.

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