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This post is for you to bitch about workplace pet peeves

By CovfefeButDeadly following x   2019 Jun 11, 9:14am 212 views   14 comments   watch   nsfw   quote     share    


I’ll start....

Old fart co workers who intentionally remain tech illiterate....even simple stuff like internet searches.

Keep in mind I’m now in my late 40’s so when I say older it’s basically anyone my age and older.

I had a subordinate yesterday ask me about getting the new drivers license and sai she would go to the DMV to make an appointment. All I could think was wtf would anyone voluntarily go to the DMV for ANY reason? I told her to make her appointment online. Then this co worker had the temerity to say how great the area was where she lives because of all the govt offices nearby.

She’s only 55 and literally incapable of figuring out the inter webs, even though her job has required her to use 3 different software for the past 20 years of her career.

I looked on her smart phone and she has over 18,000 unread emails.
1   Tenpoundbass   ignore (15)   2019 Jun 11, 9:19am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

People that request something from you, but can't give you any basic details. Like where the report they want me to update, is housed, how they get it, or any of the basic information I would need to know to find the report to update it.
2   WookieMan   ignore (0)   2019 Jun 11, 9:57am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

“Hey, it’s John Doe, give me a call when you get a chance.”

How about you let me know what the fucking call is about and maybe when I call you back I can have the issue resolved or be prepared to discuss it. Cunt.
3   RC2006   ignore (0)   2019 Jun 11, 10:14am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

FOBs that dont know how to use restrooms properly and will go into stall even if restroom is empty to take a piss and never use the urinal usually pissing all over toilet seat.

Yes men that have no balls to ever say no to their boss.
4   CovfefeButDeadly   ignore (5)   2019 Jun 11, 10:17am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

RC2006 says
FOBs that dont know how to use restrooms properly and will go into stall even if restroom is empty to take a piss and never use the urinal usually pissing all over toilet seat


Ahahahaha! I’ve even seen signs that show a dude standing on a toilet seat and squatting, with a slash through it indicating NO!
5   Tenpoundbass   ignore (15)   2019 Jun 11, 11:01am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Someone emailing me to take action on something. With nothing but a blurb like. "We need this done by Friday." or "Let me know if you need anything else?" There is a whole email chain that went on for weeks and months, that I was never part of, for something, everyone in the email chain, knew it would end up being my action item or project. They are always talking about disconnected talking points in the email chain. But the email started after they all had a meeting where the full explanation of the task was discussed. So even though there is 5 to 10 questions and answers, back and forth about tidbits in the task. I still don't have clear understanding of the task at hand or the outcome expected.

Then key people in the email chain, don't have time to meet to give me a summary of what they need. I really hate when they say. "We explained everything in the email."

No you didn't you talked about updating a field in a table, and the challenge of having Reps and PM's make sure they populate that field. The problem is there hundreds of applications that uses the table they want me to add the field to. But only one of them or a new form or report would utilize what ever it is they want me to do to the database.
It's the what, why and where of it all. Sure I can add Cost savings identifier to a table. It's got to get populated and reported some how.


There's only three people in this company of 400 that I would consider top quality people. All three of them are females. All three of them unfortunately are not the principals of the requests and challenges I get. Or they would wrap it up so tight and neat, it would damn near be finished just by reading the damn thing. And they aren't technical. They are just thorough and Cool as a Cucumber. I love collaborating with them. There was four, but one got promoted to more senior position. Now She's too full of herself to be an effective collaborator. And goes from smiles to a bitch in a half a second. And is put out by approaching her for clarity if a meeting wasn't scheduled. Which she claims she has no time for.

It's amazing what promotions do to some people.
6   NuttBoxer   ignore (2)   2019 Jun 11, 11:11am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Same as phone message, say "hi" on chat, then waiting for me to respond before asking what they want.
7   NuttBoxer   ignore (2)   2019 Jun 11, 11:15am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

Using workplace jargon, or turning everything into an acronym. Examples:

Circle the wagons
datat(device authentication token access token)


Also using buzzwords when it's clear you have no fucking idea what they mean. Example:

Just in time
8   HEYYOU   ignore (26)   2019 Jun 11, 11:22am   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

All workplaces should have crying towel dispensers.
9   RC2006   ignore (0)   2019 Jun 11, 11:29am   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

FOBs fucking up bathroom and to afraid to use urinals.

Pussy yes men that are afraid to ever say no to their bosses, big time with Asians.

People that know English but switch to different language in middle of work related conversation, causing me to turn around and leave them fucked hoping they complain.
10   Tenpoundbass   ignore (15)   2019 Jun 11, 12:01pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

NuttBoxer says
Circle the wagons


I used to have a Manager that said "Circle the Wagons" and "Wrap your head around"

I would say "We need to wrap our Wagons around our heads. "

11   OccasionalCortex   ignore (3)   2019 Jun 11, 12:14pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

CovfefeButDeadly says
I looked on her smart phone and she has over 18,000 unread emails.


That's my wife! Although she's in nursing, not tech.
12   CovfefeButDeadly   ignore (5)   2019 Jun 11, 12:36pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

NuttBoxer says
Using workplace jargon, or turning everything into an acronym. Examples:

Circle the wagons
datat(device authentication token access token)


Also using buzzwords when it's clear you have no fucking idea what they mean. Example:

Just in time


Omg I hate “think outside the box” with a passion.
13   BigFrank   ignore (0)   2019 Jun 11, 12:41pm   ↑ like (0)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

CovfefeButDeadly says
RC2006 says
FOBs that dont know how to use restrooms properly and will go into stall even if restroom is empty to take a piss and never use the urinal usually pissing all over toilet seat


Ahahahaha! I’ve even seen signs that show a dude standing on a toilet seat and squatting, with a slash through it indicating NO!


tenpoundbass posted a hilarious one here awhile back
14   BigFrank   ignore (0)   2019 Jun 11, 12:43pm   ↑ like (1)   ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag        

One of the many benefits of being a self made American Capitalist is not having to suffer through the perils of Average Joe and her 9-5.

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