0
0

The United Corporate States of America


 invite response                
2010 Jul 9, 8:09am   2,961 views  6 comments

by simchaland   ➕follow (0)   💰tip   ignore  

Why don't they just declare it and proclaim it for all to see? At least our forefathers had the balls to openly declare their independence and openly rebel against Great Britain. Corporations hide behind lawyers and Supreme Court rulings that imbue them with the legal status of "personhood."

Here's my proposed declaration of the way things are in our country already. It's more of a declarative statement of the situation as it is now and much of it is plagiarized because Corporations are infamous for stealing anything they want.

Proposed Preamble for the Declaration of Corporate Rule:

When in the Course of human events that matter, it becomes necessary for corporations to dissolve the political bands which have connected non-corporate life forms with one another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and higher station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of corporations requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to their separation and elevation above non-corporate life forms.

We the Corporations hold these truths to be self-evident, that all corporate entities are too big to fail, that they are endowed by their Creators with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Existence and total Control of Non-Corporate Life Forms resulting in the pursuit of Infinite Profits.

We the Corporations of these Corporate United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice according to our own rules, insure Tranquility through Control of all Resources, provide for common defence of Profits above all else, promote Corporate Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Our Higher Stations for ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United Corporate States of America.

Anyone doubt that this is our current situation? Comments?

Comments 1 - 6 of 6        Search these comments

1   Patrick   2010 Jul 9, 8:14am  

Maybe we could help pay the national debt by selling corporate advertising space on US currency. We could have the Coke quarter, the MacDonald's dollar, etc.

If we're going to give in, we should go all the way.

2   simchaland   2010 Jul 9, 8:17am  

Yes Patrick, I think that's a splendid idea. And our fiat currency could be backed up by Big Macs, Coke products, and Comcast Cable. The advertising alone on our money could generate much needed revenue to keep the currency and Corporate Government alive.

And here's our new Pledge:

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United Corporate States of America and to the Conglomeration for which it stands, one ruling class, over God, unstoppable, with all profits and all power for Them.

3   mikey   2010 Jul 9, 9:38am  

Oh, Pooh, What about Disney dollars to represent our Goofy currency in this roller coaster Fantasyland country filled with Dumbo's? Anybody got their ears on? Does this ring a Belle?

4   Patrick   2010 Jul 9, 11:20am  

Hey, the flag is another great advertising opportunity!

How about we just sell the whole flag to the highest-bidding corporate sponsor each year? Their logo becomes our national symbol! And every time anyone says "America" that year, they have to say the corporate name.

Like "America, brought to you by Exxon!"

5   RayAmerica   2010 Jul 9, 12:06pm  

We could have the Coke quarter, the MacDonald’s dollar, etc.

What could be more apropos than to have the clown Ronald MacDonald pictured on our “funny” money?

6   elliemae   2010 Jul 9, 12:44pm  

Hey, the flag is another great advertising opportunity!
How about we just sell the whole flag to the highest-bidding corporate sponsor each year? Their logo becomes our national symbol! And every time anyone says “America” that year, they have to say the corporate name.
Like “America, brought to you by Exxon!”

It's really no different than the staples center/delta center, etc.

Please register to comment:

api   best comments   contact   latest images   memes   one year ago   random   suggestions