patrick.net

Patrick,

In the spirit of "It used to be, "Wine, women and song" and now has become "Beer, the old lady and TV" I offer:

It used to be:

Oh, if I had to buy my house today I couldn't afford it!"

and now has become:

Oh, if I had to buy my house today I couldn't QUALIFY for the loan!"

SP should have a field day with this one!

"Don't bother mailing in your House Keys, the Bank is going to change the Locks anyway..."

I wish that I could find a good picture of the Wizard of Oz characters standing around looking at the Witches feet coming out from underneath Dorothy's house. You could add a caption: "What happened to her?" Response: "Her ARM Reset..."

How about a picture of people at Slot Machines or elsewhere in a casino, with the caption:
"Failed Housing Speculators moving on to the next Great Investment!"

Comment in moderation, probably because I made reference to G@ambling.

How about some definitions in the glossary?

How about...

Enjoy your house, it is an investment.

J Galt comment released from moderation.

I wonder if I'd get sued for some kind of copyright infringement if I used the dead wicked witch under her house.

Patrick

"I was livin' the American Dream but my ARM reset and I woke up"

"My house is my self esteem-help me."

"Rule #1- Don't purchase at the top of an asset bubble."

"Catch the falling knife- now's a great time to buy real estate!"

How about:
"Being a million dollars in debt is SEXY!"
or
"Foreclosed is the new Black"

Peter P.,

5% of the population would find your logo funny, the rest would nod in agreement.

I have changed my mind, "I was livin' the American Dream but my ARM reset and I woke up" needs to be a country and western song, not a logo.

Peter P,

Some of the glossary entries would be excellent!

HELP!

My Housing ATM Machine has fallen,

and it can't get up!

SMITH & WESSON
When a humiliating foreclosure is your only other option!

Charles Ponzi and Partners Real Estate
"Come to us for a sure-win investment strategy, because Real Estate can only go up!"

Real Estate Investor Seeks Apprentice

I'm wearing my housing equity.

(also - I'm drinking my housing equity and I'm driving my housing equity...)

...but think of the tax benefits!

Front:
I sat out the housing bubble and all I got was this lousy t-shirt...

Back:
...and a high credit score.
or
...and your McMansion at auction.
or
???

Personally, I favor the educational approach:

ARMageddon
(with a picture of the Credit Suisse ARM reset chart).
This shirt would be good for at least four more years and would be quite helpful for educating people about why the recovery is not "just around the corner". Oh man, I would buy one just to wear to open houses :-)

"educating people about why the recovery is not "just around the corner""

Fire up those silk screen presses! We should be able to bang on that one for a long @ss time!

Fire up those silk screen presses!

Too bad we do not have an electronic press...

Back in the 60's (as white flight became rampant in Chicago) sprawl grew out of control. My father HATED all of these "pop up communities" (and the phonies that inhabited them) so much he had a bumper sticker made up:

"Is Hoffman Estates Really Necessary?"

Maybe we could just offer them with a ______ so you could insert your own "love to hate" development!

"Bailout my Ass"

happy contented non-housedebtor

"Non-Loan-Owner!"

Front:

We want to buy your house...

Back:

... at the bank auction.

My home is not under water...

It is rented.

"...Well, if you believe that, I've got a house I want to sell you!"

"...All the Kings horses, and all the Kings men, couldn't put the housing market back together again!"

"You heard what I said. Why don't you clean the Adjustable Rate Mortgage out of your ears."

"A bubble a day keeps reality away."

"They're not making land any more. They're not making sky either!"

I am currently living this slogan.

"Your property taxes assure great education for my kids."

This is so true for Cupertino renters.

“They’re not making land any more. They’re not making sky either!”

LOVE that ! There is someone who is selling land on the moon and people are actually paying for it. I think I can start selling parts of sky. I can use this slogan.

Idea 1:
"Debt = Wealth"

(That remind me, I want to reread Orwell's 1984.

or

Idea 2:
Front:

Patrick.net: Pissing - Off Realtors since 2002

Back:
Top 5 Realtor Quotes (Lies)

5) “You Can Always Refinance Your ARM”
4) “Don’t get priced out.”
3) “I’ve heard the seller has multiple offers”
2) “They’re not making any more land!”
1) “Would I lie?”

[big block font] I WANT TO BUY YOUR HOUSE...

[graphic of a curvy, bubblish house]

[gothic bold, scary font] FROM THE BANK!

[Italic] Pleasant dreams, it's only money after all.

I'd love to see the use of "REIC" as much a common part of mainstream America's everyday language as it is on bubble blogs!

How about a "REIC" boldly on the front encircled with a red diagonal line drawn through it?

In a nod to the "Got Milk?" ads from the late 90's.

"Got Equity?"

How about :

"YOUR house is not MY problem"

"I'll bail out your mortgage if you sterilize yourself and your offspring."

"In foreclosure? IN YOUR FACE!"

"It's the Price Stupid!"
If you want to sell your house, drop the price.