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What if China had a WikiLeaker (Friedman NYT)


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2010 Dec 2, 3:04pm   2,324 views  7 comments

by marcus   ➕follow (6)   💰tip   ignore  

The New York Times

Thomas L. Friedman
Washington Embassy, People’s Republic of China, to Ministry of Foreign Affairs Beijing, TOP SECRET/Subject: America today.
Things are going well here for China. America remains a deeply politically polarized country, which is certainly helpful for our goal of overtaking the U.S. as the world’s most powerful economy and nation. But we’re particularly optimistic because the Americans are polarized over all the wrong things.
There is a willful self-destructiveness in the air here as if America has all the time and money in the world for petty politics. They fight over things like — we are not making this up — how and where an airport security officer can touch them. They are fighting — we are happy to report — over the latest nuclear arms reduction treaty with Russia. It seems as if the Republicans are so interested in weakening President Obama that they are going to scuttle a treaty that would have fostered closer U.S.-Russian cooperation on issues like Iran. And since anything that brings Russia and America closer could end up isolating us, we are grateful to Senator Jon Kyl of Arizona for putting our interests ahead of America’s and blocking Senate ratification of the treaty. The ambassador has invited Senator Kyl and his wife for dinner at Mr. Kao’s Chinese restaurant to praise him for his steadfastness in protecting America’s (read: our) interests.
Americans just had what they call an “election.” Best we could tell it involved one congressman trying to raise more money than the other (all from businesses they are supposed to be regulating) so he could tell bigger lies on TV more often about the other guy before the other guy could do it to him. This leaves us relieved. It means America will do nothing serious to fix its structural problems: a ballooning deficit, declining educational performance, crumbling infrastructure and diminished immigration of new talent.
The ambassador recently took what the Americans call a fast train — the Acela — from Washington to New York City. Our bullet train from Beijing to Tianjin would have made the trip in 90 minutes. His took three hours — and it was on time! Along the way the ambassador used his cellphone to call his embassy office, and in one hour he experienced 12 dropped calls — again, we are not making this up. We have a joke in the embassy: “When someone calls you from China today it sounds like they are next door. And when someone calls you from next door in America, it sounds like they are calling from China!” Those of us who worked in China’s embassy in Zambia often note that Africa’s cellphone service was better than America’s.
But the Americans are oblivious. They travel abroad so rarely that they don’t see how far they are falling behind. Which is why we at the embassy find it funny that Americans are now fighting over how “exceptional” they are. Once again, we are not making this up. On the front page of The Washington Post on Monday there was an article noting that Republicans Sarah Palin and Mike Huckabee are denouncing Obama for denying “American exceptionalism.” The Americans have replaced working to be exceptional with talking about how exceptional they still are. They don’t seem to understand that you can’t declare yourself “exceptional,” only others can bestow that adjective upon you.
In foreign policy, we see no chance of Obama extricating U.S. forces from Afghanistan. He knows the Republicans will call him a wimp if he does, so America will keep hemorrhaging $190 million a day there. Therefore, America will lack the military means to challenge us anywhere else, particularly on North Korea, where our lunatic friends continue to yank America’s chain every six months so that the Americans have to come and beg us to calm things down. By the time the Americans do get out of Afghanistan, the Afghans will surely hate them so much that China’s mining companies already operating there should be able to buy up the rest of Afghanistan’s rare minerals.
Most of the Republicans just elected to Congress do not believe what their scientists tell them about man-made climate change. America’s politicians are mostly lawyers — not engineers or scientists like ours — so they’ll just say crazy things about science and nobody calls them on it. It’s good. It means they will not support any bill to spur clean energy innovation, which is central to our next five-year plan. And this ensures that our efforts to dominate the wind, solar, nuclear and electric car industries will not be challenged by America.
Finally, record numbers of U.S. high school students are now studying Chinese, which should guarantee us a steady supply of cheap labor that speaks our language here, as we use our $2.3 trillion in reserves to quietly buy up U.S. factories. In sum, things are going well for China in America.
Thank goodness the Americans can’t read our diplomatic cables.
Embassy Washington.

#politics

Comments 1 - 7 of 7        Search these comments

1   Clarence 13X   2010 Dec 3, 1:26am  

This is a bit one sided seeing that the Dems are not attacking the Debt Commission for suggesting reforms of Social Security, Medicare which are unsustainable at this rate due to population growth. It goes both ways when speaking of why nothing gets done in the US. Both sides are planning their strategy against the other where as in China it is straight ahead with their policies since their is no opposition.

I am a supporter of Obama, Healthcare Reform, pulling out of Afghanistan/Iraq, Social Welfare Reform, Reduction of Military Spending and the debt commissions reccomendations.

We have to pay for the past 30 years of borrowing....time to pay up, own up and grow up.

2   artistsoul   2010 Dec 3, 2:37am  

The sarcasm in this is brilliant. Like all things truly humorous, there is a ring of truth underlying it. I found it enjoyable.

3   FortWayne   2010 Dec 3, 2:49am  

It would be funny, if it wasn't so close to reality of todays US politics.

4   artistsoul   2010 Dec 3, 2:55am  

Ahhh....see you have strong sense of humor too. You are correct. I have circle of family and friends that travel there (some for pleasure and others for Boeing, Intel, etc. So I'm aware of the conditions, the sweatshops, etc.). American is exceptional if you compare our standard of living to theirs. No question.

But that doesn't not change the fact that this NY Times article is humorous. It is, in fact, poking fun at some of the areas where we need some work. I loved it. i take it only for what it is. It's funny and it forces people to step back and use a little insight and perspective about our priorities in America. It is not what I would deem a serious piece. It doesn't tackle policy or offer solutions. Take it for what it is worth and have a laugh!!

5   Clarence 13X   2010 Dec 3, 7:52am  

I say the article is TOO left leaning and anti-republican. Both sides do things to polarize the voters so why focus on just Republicans?

6   marcus   2010 Dec 4, 1:39am  

What, you can recall times when key democratic leaders in congress said that their sole goal was to not let this president have any successes, so that he would not be reelected ? Consider John Kyle.Sorry, but only republicans are so radical, and so hell bent on getting the president out, that they are willing to forgo key beneficial legislation in the interest of the president not being reelected.

7   marcus   2010 Dec 5, 2:18am  

I'm surprised at the reaction, TL. I have respected and agreed with many of your comments in the past, but I also respect and agree with much of what Friedman says.

thunderlips11 says

It’s incredibly narrow-minded

Even if he exaggerated about China, and even if our challenges aren't simple (not sure he implied that they are), he makes his point effectively. Our mechanisms for solving big problems are broken. We have unprecedented competitive challenges and we aren't addressing them.

thunderlips11 says

Friedmans 100% wrong record will be continued

As for being 100% wrong ?

thunderlips11 says

He also likes to rally for Carbon Taxes

So do I. Especially taxing gas high at the pump. That's a no brainier.

As for the warmonger, my guess is that is what really bothers you about him, and I admit I don't read him that often, to have seen this so much. And not to defend, but I think many of us fell in to a bit of a trap with the Iraq, because of emotions stirred up by 9/11 and by a trust that the government had good information.

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