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Wow, sounds a lot like some of my friends' parents in the part of Chicago I grew up in.
Except for the wine. They only drank beer.
Don't make it too hot or it'll burn outside and not cook inside, depending on thickness
He forgot the part about taking a healthy dump afterwards.
This fucking idiot forgot the part about banging the fuck out of it with the blunt side of a kitchen knife and rubbing the fucking salt into it and giving your wife a good dose of the sanctifying balm before dinner.