9
0

Stimulus checks


 invite response                
2021 Mar 29, 11:23am   1,101 views  10 comments

by rocketjoe79   ➕follow (0)   💰tip   ignore  

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.
This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q.Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a ; high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will ; go to China or Sri Lanka .

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China ...

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ...
* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in America by:
1) Spending it at yard sales, or
2) Going to ball games, or
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
4) Beer or
5) Tattoos.
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )
Conclusion:
Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

Comments 1 - 10 of 10        Search these comments

1   GNL   2021 Mar 29, 11:36am  

Very good. May I use this?
2   Booger   2021 Mar 29, 12:52pm  

Almost nobody here is getting those payments.
3   Ceffer   2021 Mar 29, 3:19pm  

Now we know why they are called stimulus checks.
4   WookieMan   2021 Mar 29, 9:44pm  

HunterTits says
Booger says
Almost nobody here is getting those payments.


Because we are white taxpayers?

Yes. Isn't it FUN!
5   EBGuy   2021 Mar 30, 7:15pm  

My kids' orthodontist thanks you all....
6   mich   2021 Mar 30, 8:32pm  

hilarious
7   WookieMan   2021 Mar 31, 7:11am  

EBGuy says
My kids' orthodontist thanks you all....

Fuck you ;)

Joking.
8   Shaman   2021 Mar 31, 7:39am  

EBGuy says
My kids' orthodontist thanks you all....


Better spent on fixing teeth for your kid than on most other things. I had to pay for my own orthodontics when I was an adult because my parents didn’t care enough to prioritize it.
9   RWSGFY   2021 Mar 31, 9:42am  

Why the fuck would I need some stinking check when I've got my white privilege!
10   just_passing_through   2021 Mar 31, 7:59pm  

Shaman says
my parents didn’t care enough


Yet you turned out so well!

I'll just attribute that to you then.

I had to do a follow up invisalign a few years back once I reached my 40s. Damn things moved again.

Funny my last trip to the ortho my dontist told me: Once your parents finish paying these off I'll remove them!

So in the car ride home I blurted this out to my mom. (They'd paid for them in advance, he was confusing me with another kid with a nearly identical name)

Maybe a few weeks later I'm sitting in my 8th grade class and a pal shows up at the door with a hall pass. Tells the teech, "X is getting his braces off!".

This was on April Fools Day so I figured my pal and I were just gonna run the halls.

Nope.

For realz.

Please register to comment:

api   best comments   contact   latest images   memes   one year ago   random   suggestions