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Enter Hillary Clinton who ripped the Taliban on Twitter:

“Girls in Afghanistan should be going back to school tomorrow, but the Taliban is only allowing boys to be educated.”

The Taliban, bored and sitting on Twitter, fired back with a funny line:

“You spent $700m in our country trying to teach women and girls that there are 140 different genders.

“No wonder you lost to the orange gangster.

“You left a huge mess behind in Afghanistan, just like your husband did with that dress.”

According to Al-Jazeera, the Russians have prepared a draft UN Security Council resolution requesting an independent international investigation of the recent NordStream state-sponsored terrorism incident. Do you agree that sounds completely understandable? Well, guess what.

The United States and its allies OPPOSE the Russians’ legal request for an international investigation, even though the State Department claimed Russia blew up their own pipeline, so you’d think we’d welcome the investigation, to shame Putin and whatnot.

Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov explained reasonably that the Russians are withholding judgment until there has been a complete investigation, but they don’t believe it was a rogue terrorist group or anything. “For now the data indicates that such a large-scale act of sabotage and a terrorist attack against critical infrastructure could not have been carried out without the participation of the state and special state services,” he said.

He has a point. The two pipelines detonated nearly simultaneously 300 feet under the ocean. So.

Meanwhile the United Nations Environment Programme announced that the gas leaks in the Baltic Sea caused by the sabotaged pipelines created the single biggest release of climate-damaging methane ever recorded in human history.

I don’t EVER want to hear any complaints about my SUV ever again. Not ever.

Based on the belt configuration, he would have to be driving the crank clockwise.

29 Mar 2023
SAUDI ARABIA TAKES STEP TO JOIN CHINA-LED SECURITY BLOC




Saudi Arabia’s cabinet approved a decision to join a China-led security bloc, strengthening Riyadh’s eastern ties in a further step away from U.S. interests.

The state-owned Saudi Press Agency said that, in a session presided by King Salman bin Abdulaziz, the Saudi cabinet on Tuesday approved a memorandum awarding Riyadh the status of dialogue partner in the Shanghai Cooperation Organization — a political, security and trade alliance that lists China, Russia, India, Pakistan and four other central Asian nations as full members.

I don't like Saudi Arabia, but this is still very bad news for the US. There seems to be no limit to fuck-up Biden's ability to harm the US.

Biden cracks a joke and laughs when asked if he thinks Christians were targeted in Nashville school shooting

Under what circumstances could that be considered even remotely appropriate? Three little kids and three adults were slaughtered in a Christian school by a deranged trans person, and when asked if he thinks Christians were targeted, he jokes and laughs?

Obviously Christians were targeted. Christian children were targeted. Not only will Joe not say it, he's making light of it!

Wholly inappropriate behavior from the president.

U.S. - Americans were deeply disappointed upon learning today that the Biden presidency was not, in fact, an elaborate April Fool's joke.

"I was still holding out hope this was all a sick, twisted prank," said South Carolina man Denny Kingsley. "What a bummer."

Though a seemingly improbable hoax, Biden's unparalleled level of absurdity and incompetence began to make millions of Americans suspicious. "It just feels like it has to be a joke," said Ohio native Richard Adamson. "I mean, what else do you do with a president coming out to talk about a mass shooting, and saying he's just there for the ice cream? He can't form sentences, gets lost at his own house, and waves at dead people. How is this real??"

As another April first came and went, Americans resigned themselves to the reality of Joe Biden actually being president. "We scoured the nation for the man most fit to lead America - the most powerful country on earth - and we came up with Joe Biden," said Mr. Kingsley. "It's so hard to wrap my mind around that. Oh, well. Maybe next year we'll find out the truth."

At publishing time, Americans were dealt another blow as Netflix acquiring the rights to Narnia was also discovered to be a true story.

Here are 10 upsides we see in Biden's Presidency:

The straight male patriarchy continues another 4 years: An over 200-year streak if you don't count James Buchanan!
It's pretty funny watching him fall every time he tries to use stairs: Slapstick comedy at its best!
People chant your name, providing a warm feeling of encouragement and affirmation: (Only applies to people named Brandon)
He's not Hillary: Thank God for small mercies.
A finished border wall would have marred the lovely view across the Rio Grande: We must preserve our landmarks.
No large crowds when the President comes to town: Who wants all that pesky traffic?
You can rest assured that the current president will never be indicted for his crimes: Peace of mind!
He's not Kamala: (shudder)
No more distressing media coverage of immigrant kids in cages: They're still in there, but at least we don't have to think about it all the time.
The confidence boost you feel knowing that no matter how badly you mess up you're still more competent than the President of the United States: Hey, you're not doin' too bad, kid!

More proof — as if you needed more — that we live in a mentally ill society is the apparently broad acceptance of the idea that “Joe Biden” will run for president again. It’s so obviously preposterous that you have to wonder whether mRNA “vaccines” really do (as rumored) switch off activity in the frontal lobes. Did you happen to see this degenerate catspaw step up to the White House microphone to deliver scripted remarks on the Nashville school shooting only to drift into several minutes of unscripted badinage about how he came downstairs looking for chocolate chip ice cream? There’s your current Leader of the Free World.

We need not belabor the trail of destruction “Joe Biden’s” regime has cut through our country in just over two years. But you must sense nervously that we’re about to reap what this cabal has sown. America is falling apart. “JB” has allowed a rogue bureaucracy to make us a viciously un-free country. Our sleazy Ukraine project is wrecking Western Civ. The rest of the world has noticed and is fast dissociating from us, especially from using our dollar for trade and investment.

“JB’s” Party of Chaos is engineering an economic smash-up worse than the Great Depression. They’ve torpedoed the rule of law. The Woke Marxist social nuttery they’ve unleashed has disordered millions of young minds. They work overtime to destroy language so that we don’t know what we’re talking about. Their race and gender hustles have transformed us a clown nation. The worst of us is valorized and the best cancelled. They’ve perverted the election process. And it’s increasingly clear that they’ve disabled and killed at least a million people with their medical tyranny.

U.S. — An unprecedented leak of top-secret U.S. intelligence on the war in Ukraine, military assets, and vital diversity training materials has been traced to its shocking source: an email chain in which President Biden clicked "reply all."

"This email chain included CCP officials, Russian oligarchs, North Korean party members, and other world leaders," said a spokesperson from the Pentagon. "They normally use it to share funny memes with each other, but at some point, Biden had found thousands of classified files on his son's laptop and accidentally attached them in a reply to the entire email chain. It could've happened to anyone."

Sources say that after the President realized what he had done, he desperately sent another email begging everyone to not read the contents, but it was too late.

Biden has assured the country that the leak was not that damaging as his son Hunter had already sold most of the documents to the CCP years ago.

While it is telling that Russia is selling record amounts of oil to Europe and Africa, defying Joe Biden’s worldwide sanctions threats, it is even more interesting that Russia is accomplishing this miraculous feat by laundering its oil through its brand-new ally Saudi Arabia, which right up until Joe Biden fist-bumped the Saudi Prince used to be OUR ALLY. ...

Maybe the Saudis are mad at Biden and think their best bet is hanging with the Chinese and the Russians. But maybe they’re also sick of hearing about Tony Blinken’s perverted atypical sexual preferences that are abhorrent to Muslims and deserve the death penalty under Saudi law:




Needless to say, Saudi Arabia is a massive oil EXPORTER. They don’t need to buy oil. They’re only buying Russian oil to help Russia, knowing full well that the budding new relationship will make the deep state jealous and angry.

According to the World Bank, China — who was in tenth place in 1992, will surpass the US as the world’s largest economy next year. ...

Israeli officials have also expressed concern that US military assets that have historically been stationed in Israel — ostensibly for its defense — have been sent to Ukraine or otherwise withdrawn to help the Proxy War, leaving Israel exposed. Furthermore, new American weapons and ordinance may be hard to get, what with US military inventories depleted by Zelensky, and with new production already earmarked for the Eastern European war theater.

For some reason, the Israelis fret that Joe Biden would not exactly spring into action if a coordinated assault against the Jewish nation begins. ...

Meanwhile, not that you’d have noticed from watching our inept corporate media, China has completely surrounded Taiwan with sea-going military assets in what the communist superpower called another “drill.” ...

Specifically, Macron told reporters "Europe must reduce its dependency on the United States and avoid getting dragged into a confrontation between China and the U.S. over Taiwan.” He also said that Europe should reduce its dependency on the dollar, and should aspire to becoming an independent superpower, presumably instead of being a bootlicking American vassal state. ...

The gist is that the leaked Minecraft Papers included some pretty bleak assessments of Ukraine’s much ballyhooed Spring Offensive, which the Biden Administration and its compliant corporate media have been trumpeting as the unstoppable military initiative that will give Putin a spanking he won’t soon forget, for real this time, just you wait. ...

Asian ally South Korea wasn’t too happy to find out from the Minecraft Papers that the U.S. has been spying on them. The New York Times ran a story earlier this week headlined, “Leaked Documents and Accusations of U.S. Spying Spark Outrage in Seoul.”

“If it is true that they have spied on us, it is a very disappointing act that undermines the South Korea-U.S. alliance, which is based on mutual trust,” Lee Jae-myung, leader of the main opposition Democratic Party, told foreign media reporters on Tuesday. If true, he added, Washington should apologize to the South Korean people.

Don’t hold your breath.