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No meds involved. Didn't have life insurance. Looks like someone seriously depressed and we all had no clue. I quite honestly hope there's another explanation for it. I will update if there is. At this point, just seems like he didn't dig spinning on the earth at this point in time.
I agree very much that it's morally wrong, especially if people were dependent on him. But I would try not to judge (implied by "selfish") something brought on essentially by brain chemistry, that is by something you or I (fortunately) can not fully comprehend or empathize with.
I try not to judge. But the BIL was about as straight a shooter as you'll find. No signs of anything you would think was off.
I am very sorry this happened to your family.
But I think Marcus is right here. I'm sure your BIL loved his kids and would never want to hurt them. He just wasn't in a right state of mind to think clearly at that crucial moment.
Let go of your anger and concentrate on helping his kids.
Patnetters...what are your thoughts? Brother-in-law killed himself today.
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Sometimes there's value in keeping family matters private, until you know the full story. Don't rush to judge.
Take a lesson from the suicide: this too shall pass. Often it is in the moment when things seem so extreme and intense, and with a little time, things find their level.
Personally, I've always found the most value in keeping family business in house. This is really no one else's business, especially not so important as to share with the world the day of. This isn't Facebook
I quite honestly hope there's another explanation for it. I will update if there is.
There will or shoud be a complete forensic investigation to rule out foul play which in this instance might give a bit of relief if it turned out to be the case--but that would open a whole other realm of tragedy if it were.
Let go of your anger and concentrate on helping his kids.
Sometimes there's value in keeping family matters private, until you know the full story. Don't rush to judge.
Take a lesson from the suicide: this too shall pass. Often it is in the moment when things seem so extreme and intense, and with a little time, things find their level.
Personally, I've always found the most value in keeping family business in house. This is really no one else's business, especially not so important as to share with the world the day of. This isn't Faceboo
Sorry!
Let my think of all the ways I can make a judgment call without reading someone's mind & walking in their shoes.
That's the great benefit of anonymous, untracked speech. Get to vent or ask for advice without undesired meatspace consequences.
What's it like in your country, Thunderlips? Can people choose when to die? Can they consume flowers without risking imprisonment?
errc saysWhat's it like in your country, Thunderlips? Can people choose when to die? Can they consume flowers without risking imprisonment?
Weed should be legal, if just for the reason that pot people can smoke themselves into silence and stop spouting that marijuana legalization is the sole issue upon which all of society, the future of the human race, and Freedom! pivots.
Poppy is a flower too. And yes, people should be free to dose themselves with that, too.
Some people would benefit from eating a large quantity of Jimsonweed flowers.
I've had times in the past where I thought the best solution was the final solution. Never acted on it or gave any hint to those around me. Just a small tip in the wrong direction could have left my family/friends asking questions and feeling hurt. Part of the male identity is projecting strength right up to the bitter end.
Is that how it is in your country where you live?
Damn, that sounds smug and dismissive. Are there really "pot people " like that?
About 10 years ago a friend of mine did just the same thing. Leaving behind a wife and 4 kids. It is really hard to know just what he was going through. I wouldn't have suspected anything. It was shocking. It was tragic. It was final. And that is what makes it so hard.
And this is kind of what I was looking for in a way. Almost a validation that it just happens. Since I started the original post feelings have changed, that's for sure. But the way you write it, even 10 years later, it still just doesn't make sense. Suicide is common enough, but I don't actually think that many people experience it on a a very close level. It doesn't make sense and I'll quite possibly never make sense of it, even 10 years from now from today. I just don't get how to help that person that is so tormented and they can't even tell you. You don't know. They know. And BOOM! They make shit real, really quick.
WookiMan, I am sure you are going through a lot of emotions. Your wife, those kids, your BIL's family, parents are going through a lot too.
Just do what you should do, and your stress will go down.
Become a VA Volunteer. It will change your life forever.
Act forward for the family, but glance rearward for learning. Sadness might have a genetic component
Honestly emotions are at level zero now (in a good way). What can I (we) do?
BIL #2 today.... Drank himself to death over 2 decades. Feel like I'm too young for this shit. My sister divorced him last year and we knew this was coming, but sad when it does. Two daughters. He didn't want to help himself which is what you need to do with alcoholism.
Weird part is my SIL just had a baby today. One comes in and another goes out. Life is weird. I'm personally in a better place than this OP though. So all is good. Just sad for my sister that has to break it to the kids Dad is dead. That's the most upsetting part.
Sorry to hear, while I agree that personal responsibility includes not removing yourself from those who depend on you you have to keep in mind that this country has been ravaged by the leftoids and sjws over the past 2 decades.
No meds involved. Didn't have life insurance. Looks like someone seriously depressed and we all had no clue. I quite honestly hope there's another explanation for it. I will update if there is. At this point, just seems like he didn't dig spinning on the earth at this point in time.
I hesitate to ask this, but are you absolutely certain this was a suicide, and not a murder?
I am disappointed in myself for not seeing the signs.
richwicks saysI hesitate to ask this, but are you absolutely certain this was a suicide, and not a murder?
No worries on my end about the question. He literally drank himself to death. We saw it coming. He was in rehab multiple times. We tried to help. Alcoholism can only be fixed by the person themselves. Family and outsiders can try to help or even force rehab. The person has to want to fix themselves though at the end of the day. He didn't want help.
The stories that were kept in the dark by my sister are horrible as well. My sister and my nieces went through hell for far longer than I ever even knew. He was always off, but I personally had no clue his bottles of water were straight vodka. Fortunately he wasn't an angry drunk and wasn't abusive to my sister or nieces physically. A bit verbally.
Some are eager to burden others with their problems. Only a minority of people though, thank God.
Then I wouldn't consider this suicide - this is accidental alcohol poisoning.
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We were booked for a trip leaving Wednesday as well. First vacation we had insurance for if we cancel. Pretty sure we're going to cancel at this point. It's rather mind numbing how fast life can flip you on your head.
It's been a rather surreal day so far. Please check on anyone you think is off their rocker. I don't want today to happen to anyone else if it can be avoided.