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Yesterday, Forbes ran a breaking story headlined, “Trump Suggests Government Should Shoot Down Unidentified Drones On East Coast.” After all, the new Trump brand is common sense. If people won’t claim their own drones, well, maybe it should be fair game.




Shoot them down seems to be the consensus among most New Jerseyans, who are frankly getting sick and tired of all the nightly drama. They can’t get a moment’s peace. Every ten minutes, right as the game starts getting interesting, it’s “Alfred! Get out here! There’s two more!” or “Get the camera again! There’s a new one shaped like a pineapple!”

Frustrated New Jersey husbands rankle under their wives’ withering criticism. “Well? Is that all you’re planning to do? Just stand there looking at them?”

Yesterday, Trump posted an official message on Truth Social, helpfully suggesting the government should either fess up and claim its drones (if they are drones) — otherwise, let’s just shoot the damned things down for being a public nuisance:

Mystery Drone sightings all over the Country. Can this really be
happening without our government's knowledge. I don't think so!
Let the public know, and now. Otherwise, shoot them down!!! DJT

Floridians have been bragging that the drones are too scared to come down here, and there may be something to that, since the firearm-to-citizen ratio here is 11.3-to-1. But one can spare some sympathy for New Jersey husbands and harried local Mayors, who’ve probably received so many complaints they feel like the proverbial toad ‘neath the harrow.

Just as husbands in New Jersey were getting fired up enough to start firing wildly into the sky, news from the Sunshine State landed with a thud. After all, it was a Florida man who produced this sobering headline, right as the New Jersey mystery drone story really got off the ground this week. From Florida First Coast News, Wednesday:

Florida man who shot down Walmart drone ordered to pay $5,000 to chain
Police said there were children playing nearby at the time.

He was also arrested. They soaked him on that fine but it could have been worse. At least he’s not doing time. In some ways, five grand feels like a small price to pay. It’s a good bet Walmart won’t fly anymore drones over his house.

As a lawyer, ethically speaking, I cannot encourage anyone to commit crimes like shooting down mystery drones inside city limits. But I bet if someone did, well, GoFundMe.

Actually, I find the constant media coverage fascinating and in some ways, contrary to the most likely explanation that the flyers belong to one government agency or another. If the mystery drone swarms were related to military or intelligence, I’d expect less coverage.

On the other hand, I found something missing from all the drone coverage: interviews with drone experts. The stories quote resident witnesses, local officials, state officials, and federal officials. But I’d expect a lot more discussion from drone designers and manufacturers — who could probably add a lot to the discussion — but there is almost none. Radio silence.

Could corporate media’s disinterest in drone builders betray a fake-news “mystery drone” narrative? Think we’ll ever find out who owns the annoying devices?

I say these are holograms.

Nothing worse than a shot down hologram landing on your house.