patrick.net

  new post
register or log in

patrick.net's 40 proposals »

10,733 registered users, 4 online now: Gary Anderson, lostand confused, Patrick, YesYNot

Your Performance evaluation arrived.

By TMAC54   2012 Feb 2, 9:56pm   ↑ like   ↓ dislike   2,115 views   4 comments   watch (0)   share   quote  

EMPLOYEE EVALUATIONS: These are purported to be from actual federal employee
performance evaluations:

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and started
to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a
definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a
trap."

5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

6. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

7. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

8. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve
them."

9. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

10. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."

11. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all
together."

12. "A gross ignoramus --- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

13. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

15. "He's been working with glue too much."

16. "He would argue with a signpost."

17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one,"

20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

24. "He's got two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

Comments 1-4 of 4     Last »

1   elliemae   2012 Feb 5, 6:33am  ↑ like   ↓ dislike (1)   quote   top   bottom   home   share  

Although they are funny, I find it doubtful they are actual job evals.

2   TMAC54   2012 Feb 5, 1:34pm  ↑ like   ↓ dislike (1)   quote   top   bottom   home   share  

elliemae says

Although they are funny, I find it doubtful they are actual job evals.

If you don't believe me , just ask me !

Excuse meow, Is this the humor section ?

3   elliemae   2012 Feb 6, 2:33pm  ↑ like   ↓ dislike (1)   quote   top   bottom   home   share  

Did the ducks get the job?

4   TMAC54   2012 Feb 12, 12:08am  ↑ like   ↓ dislike (2)   quote   top   bottom   home   share  

Sorry to have to tell you SillyMae.
Those jobs had been outsourced to the chicken ranch.

Madonna's is hiring.
Carlos & Bro can help you get a job there.
http://www.viddler.com/v/8475d618

After you get the yob, you might consider attending classes on how to KEEP that yob.

Comments 1-4 of 4     Last »

Watch comments by email

home   top   users   about   contact  
housing crash   thunderdome   sexy pix   site suggestions  
best comments   ad hominem comment jail   patrick.net on twitter   random post  
please recommend patrick.net to your in-laws