patrick.net

For someone who's happy with his life choices, you sure spend a lot of time thinking about them.

HydroCabron says

For someone who's happy with his life choices, you sure spend a lot of time thinking about them.

Here's the thing, aside from this particular woman (and a handful of exceptions like her), everyone else keeps telling me find someone, settle down, and get married.

What makes her unique is that she knows that a good union is rare and not a common occurrence. The rest of society, however, is acting like everything should be hunky dory when it clearly isn't.

You jumped the shark bro.

Don't get married, don't settle down. Do consider having some kids.

Reality says

Don't get married, don't settle down.

Good to see some resistance to mainstream society.

Ever heard the expression, "Happy wife, happy life?"
Well, it's true, but not really in order. You see, you need a happy life situation to produce a happy wife, and then she's going to need a lot of time and attention and other things to remain that way and not start fantasizing about keeping up with some kardashian bitch she's never met but who seems to have a better life than her.
So the catch is the bit where she stays happy. Unless you find one of those unicorns who are as self aware as the grand majority of females are not. And then she will probably be fugly or a man in drag. Women, can't live with em, can't live without em. There's a reason why most religions begin around something a female did.

Quigley says

So the catch is the bit where she stays happy. Unless you find one of those unicorns who are as self aware

Here's the thing, I believe that the unicorns are married before the age of 25. This person above, let's call her Jenna, was married during the summer of her graduation. There wasn't this sitting around for someone special. Her boyfriend and her simply decided together that once they're done with the campus, they'd tie the knot.

Today, there is no such comparable paradigm for me.

Obligatory:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKWmFWRVLlU&feature=youtu.be

Rin,

Go hit the campuses then. Mt. Holyoke??

indigenous says

Obligatory:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKWmFWRVLlU&feature=youtu.be

Actually, on that crazy line, Jenna is below a 4, perhaps at worst, a 2.

And on the hot side, between a 6 and 7, but I'd say more towards 7 as she exercises and takes good care of herself.

Reality says

Go hit the campuses then. Mt. Holyoke??

Those women, esp private all girls, are social climbers, looking for a banker or if they're loose, a gangbanger. That's partly why I'd lost interest in dating.

Rin says

Reality says

Go hit the campuses then. Mt. Holyoke??

Those women, esp private all girls, are social climbers, looking for a banker or if they're loose, a gangbanger. That's partly why I'd lost interest in dating.

Maybe your networth is very high. But after my years of fun and games and not settling down, I realized love too can vanish. Saw so many couples divorce, child supprot etc.. etc. When I started to look to settle down, one of the important criteria is that she be self sufficent-that is a paradox-a lot of the successful women I know are actually humble and nice. Also family was also important. In a way it was like the arranged marraige of yore in many countries-looking at my family, their family and looking at it from a practical viewpoint. We are not married yet, but getting there-but no hurry, between her job and parents, I would say she has a financial edge over me. very responsible person and love is love-but a far more matured version. It is nice thing to ease into as I get older.

Rin says

a gangbanger

Wait, wait, wait, I mean gangbangers need love, er, gangs too. Uh, nevermind.

Rin says

Actually, on that crazy line, Jenna is below a 4, perhaps at worst, a 2.

And on the hot side, between a 6 and 7, but I'd say more towards 7 as she exercises and takes good care of herself.

You should figure out what your goals are and align everything to those goals.

indigenous says

Rin says

Actually, on that crazy line, Jenna is below a 4, perhaps at worst, a 2.

And on the hot side, between a 6 and 7, but I'd say more towards 7 as she exercises and takes good care of herself.

You should figure out what your goals are and align everything to those goals.

Jenna's married. That ship had sailed with the new century.

It is virtually impossible to find a 2 on the crazy scale,with Jenna's looks and good habits, today.

Rin says

It is virtually impossible to find a 2 on the crazy scale,with Jenna's looks and good habits, today.

Figure out the goals the rest will fall into place.

indigenous says

Rin says

It is virtually impossible to find a 2 on the crazy scale,with Jenna's looks and good habits, today.

Figure out the goals the rest will fall into place.

Well, once my equity is bought out, I'm going to Australia for a month and bo*nk hoes for that entire time.

Personally, I like enjoying these movie star look-a-like esc*rts than in dealing with regular relationships.

HydroCabron says

For someone who's happy with his life choices, you sure spend a lot of time thinking about them.

A healthy sign, I say. It has to be balanced, but if you don't question your choices from time to time, you probably aren't being honest with yourself.

For those who don't have any global esc*rting experiences, let me highlight the movie star look-a-likes origins and the place where I'd bo*nked 'em ...

Lauren Hutton – French-Canadian in Montreal
Stephanie Powers– French-Canadian in Montreal
Charlize Theron – British in London (larger bust than the real actress) --- this one was a perfect '10'
Jennifer Lopez – Brazilian in Rio
Tia Carrere – Thai-Cambodian in Malaysia
Geena Davis – French-Canadian in Montreal
Sofia Vergara – Argentinian (raised in Brazil) in Rio
Kelly Hu – Filipina-Chinese in Korea
Jennifer Connelly – Both Anglo & French-Canadian in Montreal
Karen Gillan – British in Toronto
Olivia Newton John – Australian in Australia (duh!)

Notice that the United States of America is missing everywhere.

Rin says

Personally, I like enjoying these movie star look-a-like esc*rts than in dealing with regular relationships.

There ya go, just watch that crazy scale.

indigenous says

Rin says

Personally, I like enjoying these movie star look-a-like esc*rts than in dealing with regular relationships.

There ya go, just watch that crazy scale.

Well, a redhead like Karen Gillan will most definitely be crazy. And thus, I'd clearly pay her to go away.

One day, the institution of family will collapse. Questions will be asked.

It all started with the progressive era.

Progress cannot be made for its own sake. Progress is not socially-engineered weakness. Progress is the result of us trying to improve ourselves.

Rin says

Well, a redhead like Karen Gillan will most definitely be crazy. And thus, I'd clearly pay her to go away.

Are any of them named Tiffany?

indigenous says

Rin says

Well, a redhead like Karen Gillan will most definitely be crazy. And thus, I'd clearly pay her to go away.

Are any of them named Tiffany?

I haven't had a stiff for a Tiff yet :-)

Rin says

Well, once my equity is bought out, I'm going to Australia for a month and bo*nk hoes for that entire time.

Personally, I like enjoying these movie star look-a-like esc*rts than in dealing with regular relationships.

I think you have probably already set your course with women. Not that you have crossed some PONR, but I think your depth of experience with prostitutes has likely shaped your outlook. Can you really imagine yourself settling down with one woman and staying with her for the rest of your life? From my vantage point you probably have a lot of work to do if you want to get married. Starting with figuring out what you really want...certainly don't do it because others around you are telling you to (that may be more about affirming their decision and their insecurities than anything else).

Your situation reminds me a bit of a military friend who had enlisted young and made his way through the brothels of the world. He tried to settle down, in some sense, but he had a hard time of it. He told me, somewhat pained, that he thinks his time in the military "ruined him on women."

A lot of people find marriage to be very fulfilling, but many don't and end up trapped in a miserable situation.

Traditional relationships are becoming pointless. Getting married and having children is a very bad trade for most people. It is like paying a $100 commission and risking $10000 just to make $10.

swebb says

A lot of people find marriage to be very fulfilling, but many don't and end up trapped in a miserable situation.

The mind is powerful. Once you are trapped, you will find a way to convince yourself of anything.

swebb says

Can you really imagine yourself settling down with one woman and staying with her for the rest of your life?

Here's the thing, it didn't happen with Jenna. In terms of the road not taken SciFi genre, that may have been 'it', for this lifetime.

The real so-called big love relationship in my mid-20s, didn't work out long term due to the fact that the girlfriend couldn't deal with a long distance relationship. Today, I'm not in anyway, interested in her anymore. And in terms of the craziness factor, even she can't compete against Jenna.

So that's that.

swebb says

Starting with figuring out what you really want...certainly don't do it because others around you are telling you to (that may be more about affirming their decision and their insecurities than anything else).

The future's shaping itself for me. The fact that certain things weren't in place, prior to the age of 29, makes 'em obsolete as time marches forward.

Peter P says

Traditional relationships are becoming pointless. Getting married and having children is a very bad trade for most people. It is like paying a $100 commission and risking $10000 just to make $10.

swebb says

A lot of people find marriage to be very fulfilling, but many don't and end up trapped in a miserable situation.

The mind is powerful. Once you are trapped, you will find a way to convince yourself of anything.

it depends. I have done everything I wanted to do and then some. Now, maybe realizing my own mortality, children seem something I want to experience. Little babies , children and growing up. i was a rather difficult child in my teens for my parents and my mom would always curse me that I would have one just like me and then I would realize what I put her through !! So it is not some romantic feel good notion. Just realizing that we too are part of nature's seasons and come and go from this earth. Nowadays I would rather be alone than in parties and love nature more and more. i don't think i can live in a concrete jungle anymore. Children and family life seem to be a natural extension for me at least. There is not a single continent left for me to set foot on. Nothing more.

But yes if you are going into it with the old ideas of family etc -it can be a terrible disappointment especially with current gubmnt laws.

lostand confused says

Now, maybe realizing my own mortality, children seem something I want to experience.

Adoption is always a possibility.

swebb says

He told me, somewhat pained, that he thinks his time in the military "ruined him on women

There are two aspects of the overseas military. One is that it's a functional family, outside of one's biological own. Many military folks stay friends for life and remain close till the end. And then, there's the trekking and world esc*rting tour which allows for a bit of R&R, between assignments.

Once you've got yourself a network of friends and the freedom to bo*nk as you choose, how on earth can settling down to a drab suburban life w/ cable TV and a bunch of bills, compare with that?

Peter P says

lostand confused says

Now, maybe realizing my own mortality, children seem something I want to experience.

Adoption is always a possibility.

Right...but who would adopt an adult male?

Peter P says

lostand confused says

Now, maybe realizing my own mortality, children seem something I want to experience.

Adoption is always a possibility.

yes, but nice to have your genes. As I grow, see me , my nephews and nieces etc, I see a lot of similiarities and characteristics that have passed on from the odler generations-so really fascinating to watch that.

Children can be pain-at least if they are yours-you can grit your teeth and bear it through the bad times!!!

lostand confused says

yes, but nice to have your genes. As I grow, see me , my nephews and nieces etc, I see a lot of similiarities and characteristics that have passed on from the odler generations-so really fascinating to watch that.

I think it is more important for my descendants to share my values. Genetics is a bit superficial.

Peter P says

lostand confused says

yes, but nice to have your genes. As I grow, see me , my nephews and nieces etc, I see a lot of similiarities and characteristics that have passed on from the odler generations-so really fascinating to watch that.

I think it is more important for my descendants to share my values. Genetics is a bit superficial.

Not just genes. because even temeperament , it is actually surprising to see how much my niece's temperament matches my dearly departed grandma. Another of my nephew likes the same food that my uncle used to love. Just surprising to watch these little things and who knew these things could be passed down??/p>

Rin says

Once you've got yourself a network of friends and the freedom to bo*nk as you choose, how on earth can settling down to a drab suburban life w/ cable TV and a bunch of bills, compare with that?

Those aren't the only two choices, eh?

lostand confused says

Not just genes. because even temeperament , it is actually surprising to see how much my niece's temperament matches my dearly departed grandma.

True, but an adopted child will adopt your temperament in no time. It is amazing that my cat copies my personality and my wife's cat is similar to her.

swebb says

Rin says

Once you've got yourself a network of friends and the freedom to bo*nk as you choose, how on earth can settling down to a drab suburban life w/ cable TV and a bunch of bills, compare with that?

Those aren't the only two choices, eh?

Let's just say that it's the more common, expected value.

As for military vs civilian life, I'd known numerous retired military ppl and many of them, miss the way of the armed forces, compared to the acceptance of banality and mediocrity of the civilian work life and lifestyle.

The way one guy fought it off was to become a powerlifter, another taught languages. The others had some sort of substance abuse problems.

Rin says

Once you've got yourself a network of friends and the freedom to bo*nk as you choose, how on earth can settling down to a drab suburban life w/ cable TV and a bunch of bills, compare with that?

People do not see hidden costs. I have friends who have girlfriends just for the "free" sex.

Peter P says

I have friends who have girlfriends just for the "free" sex.

For the most part, this is where all the drama comes in.

I've found it better (or perhaps safer) to keep female associations platonic.

Rin,
You're sounding kinda like the Michael Douglas character in Last Vegas.
Others here including me and your HS friend, are not the trophy that you are, and don't look at / size up others as trophies. And we're more like the Morgan Freeman - Robert Deniro - Kevin Kline characters.
Your friend's bio sounds like mine and my partner's and like the gazillion other Podunk boring folks like contented us who are mostly Not Bored with Our Boring Lives.