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Working at Walmart is beneath him, whines senior


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2019 Jan 17, 4:51am   2,546 views  16 comments

by Al_Sharpton_for_President   ➕follow (5)   💰tip   ignore  

I’m 81 and signed over my life savings to my son to manage my finances, but now he’s keeping all my money

‘I thought that my son, whom I always put before me and financially supported, would not be such a heartless and greedy person’

Dear Moneyist,

For many years now I am reading your stories about fellow human beings in trouble. Never would I have thought that I would need your help too.

I am an 81-year old disabled senior who worked very hard all my life, never took vacations or spent money on myself. After my divorce in 1964 I raised my son alone and always took priority in caring for him and saving money, just in case that something happened to me and he would be alone.

He became an artist, always hungry. Thus, it was without question that I supported him financially whenever need would arise. I am not talking about $1,000 or $5,000, but $10,000 and $20,000. I was confident that I had raised a very good human being and son. Luckily due to my hard work and long hours I was able to financially secure myself.

‘I am absolutely disheartened, as my son refuses to transfer my life savings back into my name.’
Now that I arrived at age 81 years I planned to move into a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC). Having read scary stories about how these facilities can take over your money, I discussed this with my son and when he suggested that I put my savings in his name to protect my assets, it sounded right to me.

And so a few months ago, I transferred most of my savings into his name. He promised to be a good steward of these assets.

Don’t miss: My husband grew up dirt poor and doesn’t believe in insurance or banks, yet he racked up $7,000 on my credit card

Unfortunately, my plan to move into this CCRC did not materialize and, instead, I moved into a very modest rental community. Fourteen years ago I had developed an autoimmune condition, which makes me vulnerable to infections caused by impurities. I realized that I indeed would have to move to a “better” environment.

Now, I am absolutely disheartened, as my son refuses to transfer my life savings back into my name, so that I would qualify to move into a better environment, where they do require evidence of a certain amount of assets.

‘I tried to reason with my son, requesting only part of the assets back, which I need to move into another senior community.’
I tried to reason with my 56-year-old son, requesting only part of the assets back, which I need to move into another senior community, but to no avail. I feel abused as an elderly person and do not know where to turn to get some help or legal advice about what to do when a child takes advantage of an old parent.

Of course, in hindsight I recall having always read that one should not give their children one’s savings. But I thought that my son, whom I always put before me and financially supported, would not be such a heartless and greedy person.

Please help me with some way out of this dilemma; I am so hurt, have pains caused by all this stress and fear that I am slipping into a depression. I will be very grateful for any advice you might be able to give me.

Brokenhearted father

Dear Brokenhearted,

When you reached the point in your letter where you said your had signed over your savings account, my heart sank. I knew how this would end. Not that I’m clairvoyant, but because (a) people do bad things, (b) that was a riskier position than, say, giving him health-care power of attorney or trust and (c) you were writing a letter to the Moneyist and, the nature of the beast, is that they often end badly.

There is a legal precedent of ‘unjust enrichment.’ That means it wasn’t merely a gift, but there were strings attached.
The good news is this only happened a few months ago. Of course, it’s far more difficult to retrieve money that has been spent, squandered or hidden away. But you have time on your side, and you should immediately hire an elder-care lawyer who specializes in such cases and contact your bank. You are an elderly man at a vulnerable time in your life. The law is (should be) on your side.

Speaking of which, Geoffrey Kunkler, an estate attorney with the law firm Carlile, Patchen & Murphy in Columbus, Ohio, says if you had worked with a lawyer in advance, he could have created a trust naming your son as trustee and beneficiary, while retaining the ability to change the trustee and also to change the beneficiaries. “This ensures that you would retain certain controls to be able to recoup the funds.”

Now for the bad news: “It might be too late to undo the gift without the cooperation of the son — he may not be able to force the son to unring this bell,” Kunkler added. “This would be the case if this really was a true gift, meaning there were no conditions to the gift — no strings attached. If that is the case there would not be much he could do legally.” Also, if you were intending to hide assets, be clear with your lawyer, as that could come back to bite you later.

You could have a family intervention. But your son would dilly-dally, putz and futz, and drag this out interminably.
But. You knew that was coming. Or, at least, you hoped it was coming. Kunkler points out that there is a legal precedent known as “unjust enrichment.” That means it wasn’t merely a gift, but there were strings attached. From what you say in your letter, this was all for a greater purpose, to ensure you — not your son — were taken care of later in life.

There must be a paper trail of emails and, under oath, you could swear to the conditions and context under which this money was transferred. Oral agreements are tricky to prove, but I urge you to throw down the gauntlet and use the full force of the law. As with so many such cases, perpetrators of financial fraud believe lifelong familial relationships will help deter the victim from taking legal action.

“You could argue that you held up you end of the deal in transferring the funds, but you son has breached the agreement by not safeguarding the funds for your benefit,” Kunkler says. “This could require sending a demand letter to the son or even the filing of a formal complaint to initiate a lawsuit.” Such cases, he adds, often take persuasion. You owe it to yourself to pursue this.

Adult Protective Services will investigate and assess referrals of abuse, neglect, and financial exploitation.
Alternatively, family counseling and mediation are the only options left open to you. A family intervention as a kind of emotional or moral leverage might move your son in the right direction. From what you say, however, my hunch is your son would dilly-dally, putz and futz, obfuscate and drag this out interminably until your time on this earth is over and he keeps your life savings.

Aside from contacting a lawyer and your bank, Marc Lowlicht, a certified financial planner and Chief Executive of Opes Private Wealth Management, suggests you go to Adult Protective Services. It’s provided by local social services districts. It will investigate and assess referrals of abuse, neglect, and financial exploitation or impaired or vulnerable adults.

You be an example for your son. If someone tries to cheat you, advocate for yourself and come out fighting. It can be your final and most valuable lesson of all. Whether he decides to learn from it, of course, is entirely up to him.

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/im-81-and-signed-over-my-life-savings-to-my-son-to-manage-my-finances-but-he-told-me-hes-keeping-it-2018-12-06

Comments 1 - 16 of 16        Search these comments

1   🎂 Tenpoundbass   2019 Jan 17, 8:42am  

At 81 he has nothing to lose by sending his Son feet first to meet his maker.
He would be better taken care of in prison.

Probably his fault for raising a disrespectful Liberal that thinks all of their problems were caused by people and everyone born before them.
2   NDrLoR   2019 Jan 17, 8:52am  

willywonka says
Also, if you were intending to hide assets
I feel sorry for him and you can't blame him for feeling betrayed, but this is actually what he was trying to do.
3   Bd6r   2019 Jan 17, 8:54am  

P N Dr Lo R says
I feel sorry for him and you can't blame him for feeling betrayed, but this is actually what he was trying to do.

Should have used a safe deposit box in bank for cash.
4   Ceffer   2019 Jan 17, 9:33am  

Another BoomFuck being appropriately dispatched to the void.
5   🎂 Tenpoundbass   2019 Jan 17, 9:43am  

Ceffer says
Another BoomFuck being appropriately dispatched to the void.


The Son is the Boomer here. The old man is part of the Greatest Generation.
6   Ceffer   2019 Jan 17, 10:29am  

Tenpoundbass says
The Son is the Boomer here. The old man is part of the Greatest Generation.



All right! Go, BoomFucks!
7   krc   2019 Jan 17, 10:35am  

The job of "artist" should have been a warning sign....
8   CBOEtrader   2019 Jan 17, 10:49am  

Tenpoundbass says
At 81 he has nothing to lose by sending his Son feet first to meet his maker.
He would be better taken care of in prison.

Probably his fault for raising a disrespectful Liberal that thinks all of their problems were caused by people and everyone born before them.


Yeah this sounds like revenge time.

I help advise seniors through to pass assets along to family via these trusts. It is amazing how often one scumbag family member will screw everyone over for grandpas savings account.
9   RWSGFY   2019 Jan 17, 11:07am  

krc says
The job of "artist" should have been a warning sign....


This.
10   theoakman   2019 Jan 17, 11:18am  

Signs of a poor father. Anyone that doesn't know their own kids flaws by the time the kid is in their 50s was a parent that was just delusional. I've seen people set up their money so that the most responsible and trustworthy kid is the one in charge while the less responsible ones are deliberately excluded from any decisions.
11   Ceffer   2019 Jan 17, 11:23am  

I have seen a couple of older people 'trust' their children with baleful results. It's sad, but if the OldFucks are so dazzled with their genetic spew, then it's on them, unless they are in complete dotage and can't help themselves.
12   Bd6r   2019 Jan 17, 3:17pm  

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says
HEAD! SHOT! FOR! THE! TOT!

this is actually very appropriate
13   Rin   2019 Jan 17, 3:46pm  

I'm so psyched that I'm neither married nor have kids.

My money is my money.

And in end, it'll be donated posthumously to the Rin Wah Foundation, an organization, dedicated to the proliferation of sex robots for the general population.
14   NDrLoR   2019 Jan 17, 5:01pm  

Tenpoundbass says
The Son is the Boomer here. The old man is part of the Greatest Generation.
The old man is actually part of what was called the Silent Generation, too young for World War II or Korea, too old for Vietnam. Just right to experience the post war economic boom in his 20's in the 50's before society went to hell in the late 60's. In a lot of ways, his generation and that of the young people in the 1920's were the luckiest generations of the 20th century.
15   Ceffer   2019 Jan 17, 5:05pm  

Rin says
And in end, it'll be donated posthumously to the Rin Wah Foundation, an organization, dedicated to the proliferation of sex robots for the general population.

A RealDoll came to my door and said she was low on oil. I knew what she REALLY wanted!
16   CBOEtrader   2019 Jan 17, 7:58pm  

Rin says
And in end, it'll be donated posthumously to the Rin Wah Foundation, an organization, dedicated to the proliferation of sex robots for the general population.


Can you please do this

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