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Here's a story against optimism on love/marriage/kids

By Rin follow Rin   2019 Nov 13, 4:38pm 1,274 views   56 comments   watch   nsfw   quote   share    


Ok, on a posting on sex/marriage

https://patrick.net/post/1328513/2019-11-13-how-to-have-great-married-sex

I said, "What she's basically saying is that ppl need sex robots, with variable software & differing faces and boob/butt sizes, not human relationships with strings attached."

Optimists replied with ...

Quigley says

Rin, I appreciate your point of view, and the struggles involved with maintaining relationships with women. But the unattached single life is not for me. I wanted a wife and kids, and even though those people cost me money and most of my time, I wouldn’t want it any other way. I love my wife and want the best possible relationship with her. When it’s good, it’s very good. I have a companion who is beautiful and intelligent, industrious and caring. She makes this family thing work. It’s worth more than being by myself with all my money. Plus, she tends to temper my bad habits. I’ll probably live a lot longer with her than without her.
So if problems with sex arise, I will fix them. It’s worth it.


E-man says
@Rin, I like you, but I’m with @Quigley 100% on this. You can say we’re two lucky guys who found great mates.



Around the same time, I'd heard from a martial artist friend from mine and he had to completely rearrange his schedule to meet with his trainer, just outside of the city of Boston, on Wednesday, from Mon or Tues, because those were the only two days where his 'Sensei' or 'Sifi' was able to legally see his children.

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17   Ceffer   ignore (4)   2019 Nov 13, 7:32pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Ceffer says
Do pre-nups include a minimum number of blow jobs per year? Like, 500 or so?


"And could the wife "contract them out" when she is indisposed?"

Maybe a $1000 credit toward the community property for the man for every blowjob short, or pro-rated for low quality.
18   Goran_K   ignore (3)   2019 Nov 13, 7:36pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Love marriage and family life. I also loved being a single bachelor. Happiness isn’t your status, it’s your outlook on life and how you feel at peace with where you are.
19   NoCoupForYou   ignore (3)   2019 Nov 13, 8:06pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Goran! Nice to see ya man.
20   WookieMan   ignore (6)   2019 Nov 13, 8:11pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

NoCoupForYou says
Goran! Nice to see ya man.

Couple of long timers have been MIA for a bit. Good to see you back. Anyone hear from Strat? Don't think I've seen a post from him in a while.
21   Goran_K   ignore (3)   2019 Nov 13, 8:26pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Sorry been MIA for a while. Traveled to Maui in August. My son is in swim meets now and competing under USA swimming. So was traveling a little for that.

Also spent some time in Oregon, not the socialists enclave of Portland but more on the coast. So beautiful.

22   B.A.C.A.H.   ignore (0)   2019 Nov 13, 8:31pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Patrick says
I'm quite happily married, but have to say that no man should get married in these days of state-sponsored feminism. Why obligate yourself to one-sided alimony


Urgh. I friend of mine, who lurked reading this blog for years, was (literally) driven to suicide over such a thing like Patrick mentioned here.

Just about the only thing that's made me angry for decades, is the sympathy his friends continue to express to that black widow b*tch. He confided in me for years how miserable he was.

It was all about keeping up appearances in the Housewives of Silicon Valley Joy Luck Pecking-Order Club, but refusing to work outside the home to help pay for that.

For years I wanted to tell him to divorce the b*tch and sue her ass for child support. Especially when the older kid became old enough to express preference for the father, as the mother was not a loving mother. Those were just anchor babies for her, and when the older one started school, her little mini-me status symbols.

F*ck. Now he's gone and can't be there between his kids and the Queen Witch.
23   steverbeaver   ignore (1)   2019 Nov 13, 8:54pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

As much as I dislike Islam, and Mormonism to some extent. I think they do get some things right about marriage. Though on occasion I've read about not-so-perfect Mormon marriages. Islam maybe the same but the chick gets set straight I bet.
24   Eman   ignore (0)   2019 Nov 13, 9:29pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

“Optimists replied with ...” 😂😂😂

Thanks for the laughs Rin. Seriously. I found it hilarious and couldn’t stop laughing.

80% of those who marry aren’t happy, divorced or not. Can we interpret this as we are in the 20% category, or maybe even in the top 5-10% of the 20%? I’ll be happily married for 18 years this weekend. Dated her over 7 years before that. Over 25 years together. 🥰🥰🥰

Life is great if you marry the right one. We miss 100% of all shots we don’t take. We took our shot and got lucky.
25   Patrick   ignore (1)   2019 Nov 13, 9:32pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

B.A.C.A.H. says
Urgh. I friend of mine, who lurked reading this blog for years, was (literally) driven to suicide over such a thing like Patrick mentioned here.


Oh man, that's sad.
26   WookieMan   ignore (6)   2019 Nov 14, 6:16am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

E-man says
80% of those who marry aren’t happy, divorced or not. Can we interpret this as we are in the 20% category, or maybe even in the top 5-10% of the 20%? I’ll be happily married for 18 years this weekend. Dated her over 7 years before that. Over 25 years together. 🥰🥰🥰

Life is great if you marry the right one. We miss 100% of all shots we don’t take. We took our shot and got lucky

lol. I'm in this group. 21 years. Not always perfect, but we're pretty darn happy.

I don't necessarily agree about the luck part though. I think too many guys think with their dick brain and not their actual brain when it comes to finding a woman. I personally don't think it's too hard to spot the toxic chicks. But who knows, maybe there is some luck to it.

The other key is to find one that make $$$$$. If they don't need your money, a separation is likely to go much smoother. And the fact that finances should be less of a point of contention/argument. Besides kids, money and family, there's really not much to get upset about if you have those sectors in order.
27   HeadSet   ignore (2)   2019 Nov 14, 7:28am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

The other key is to find one that make $$$$$. If they don't need your money, a separation is likely to go much smoother.

Also, if they have their own money, they are likely marrying you for the right reason.
28   Onvacation   ignore (5)   2019 Nov 14, 7:57am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

WookieMan says
Anyone hear from Strat? Don't think I've seen a post from him in a while

Two theories:
1 His contract wasn't renewed.
2 He finished the investigation.
29   socal2   ignore (1)   2019 Nov 14, 9:06am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

I guess I am one of the lucky ones too. Fourteen years of marriage but nearly 20 years together. We lived only a few blocks away from each other at the beach so it was easy to have a nice long courtship/engagement without the pressure of getting married too quick. By the time we moved in together, we already knew each other very well so there was never any major drama. We are pretty Ying and Yang though which I think is the secret to our success. We have a blessed life with great kids and a great community and can't imagine anything much better.
30   Rin   ignore (8)   2019 Nov 14, 10:17pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

E-man says
Can we interpret this as we are in the 20% category, or maybe even in the top 5-10% of the 20%?


Yes, you're in the elite subdivision of society ... called happily married long term.

And that's probably part of the reason why you don't see the shit around you. I have a friend, happily married for 15 years, and he and his wife have avoided toxic couples who're very resentful of their successful partnership.

One of them was actually a former boss who not only had a nagging wife but one who spied on his subordinates as well, getting the former boss in trouble with HR.
31   Rin   ignore (8)   2019 Nov 14, 11:08pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

As far as what I really miss from my last relationship, some 8+ years ago ....

https://patrick.net/post/1324502/2019-05-18-what-is-rin-s-real-problem#commentform

FYI, I really miss ejaculating in her mouth ...



It felt so good!
32   WookieMan   ignore (6)   2019 Nov 15, 4:00am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

socal2 says
We lived only a few blocks away from each other at the beach so it was easy to have a nice long courtship/engagement without the pressure of getting married too quick.

This I think is key. Not being pressured to marry. If the guy or girl hangs with each other for 4-5+ years without a ring/engagement, I personally think the success rate of the marriage goes way up.

If for some reason I ever had to date again with the intention of potentially getting married, I'd do it the same way. I think I was about 10 years and then 11 years of marriage now. Probably wouldn't go that long again, but a chick pushing for marriage quicker than 2 years should be considered suspicious as hell. Especially if she needs financial support. Outside of religious connotations, I think the only actual upside to marriage is it makes your estate easier to handle when you die. There really are no other worthwhile, quantitative advantages to marriage.

That's why I'm so surprised gay people pushed for government to recognize it. Little did they know (some did) they were just handicapping their future lives. But whatever. I suppose gays are probably more like the money grabbing wife that does it to get sugar daddy's money.
33   Rin   ignore (8)   2019 Nov 15, 10:12am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

WookieMan says
I think I was about 10 years and then 11 years of marriage now.


Ok, but that's in effect, crossing the entire youth spectrum. Realize, a vast majority of ppl make most the major changes in their lives, prior to the age of 35, not so much afterwards.

So what'll happen after 35 is that more and more ppl will be settled in their ways and thus, make that long term thing even less likely. If you remember that visiting Chilean scholar to New England, she was the first true high quality woman I'd known and was widowed when her husband (from grad school) died, a few years prior to us meeting. So sure, if I were younger, didn't meet Alanis Morrissette, and wasn't living the Rin Wah way, then she would have been a great catch. But today, I don't want that anymore. I like traveling the world, poking hoes, drinking gin, and listening to hard rock.
34   clambo   ignore (5)   2019 Nov 15, 11:21am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

The only reason for a man to be married is to 1. please someone else 2. please society norms

Females like the idea of marriage; they see the voluntary self-entrapment by the male as an affirmation of her worth beyond all present and future other females.

This if of course untrue; you can divorce her and hang out with the next one if you want to spend the $$$ on the divorce.

If you want to go through your life pleasing others to avoid confrontations or loneliness, then marriage may be for you.

I have female company presently visiting me; it's nice to have company and someone to take meals with, go do chores with, etc.

I see this as an advantage of cohabitation, not marriage however.
35   socal2   ignore (1)   2019 Nov 15, 11:41am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

WookieMan says
There really are no other worthwhile, quantitative advantages to marriage.


To me - marriage is mostly about raising a family and propagating the species.

If I had no intention of having kids, I wouldn't bother with marriage - even with the tax benefits.
36   WookieMan   ignore (6)   2019 Nov 15, 11:54am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

socal2 says
To me - marriage is mostly about raising a family and propagating the species.

If I had no intention of having kids, I wouldn't bother with marriage - even with the tax benefits

Agreed. And agreed. Unless you're poor though, the tax benefits are not substantial and potentially negative. Regarding kids and tax benefits it's really nothing once you account for what the kids actually cost. You're out more money.
37   Goran_K   ignore (3)   2019 Nov 15, 1:29pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

clambo says
The only reason for a man to be married is to 1. please someone else 2. please society norms

Females like the idea of marriage; they see the voluntary self-entrapment by the male as an affirmation of her worth beyond all present and future other females.

This if of course untrue; you can divorce her and hang out with the next one if you want to spend the $$$ on the divorce.

If you want to go through your life pleasing others to avoid confrontations or loneliness, then marriage may be for you.

I have female company presently visiting me; it's nice to have company and someone to take meals with, go do chores with, etc.

I see this as an advantage of cohabitation, not marriage however.


I honestly like the familiarity and lack of artificial social niceties. My wife knows that I like a little back rub after working, she knows the kind of food I like, and I can take a dump in the same bathroom she's doing her hair and it's not gross to her.

With a new girl, you have to go through the dog and pony show, hiding the reality of your grossness from someone in an attempt to paint a nicer picture of yourself. Man, I'm so glad I don't have to do that anymore. What a hassle.
38   Shaman   ignore (2)   2019 Nov 15, 1:35pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Goran_K says
I can take a dump in the same bathroom she's doing her hair and it's not gross to her.


Yah we don’t do that. Peeing is ok, but neither of us are trying to take a dump in front of the other. A little mystery there is abso-fucking-lutely fine!
39   WookieMan   ignore (6)   2019 Nov 15, 2:00pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Shaman says
Goran_K says
I can take a dump in the same bathroom she's doing her hair and it's not gross to her.


Yah we don’t do that. Peeing is ok, but neither of us are trying to take a dump in front of the other. A little mystery there is abso-fucking-lutely fine!

Lol!! I don't know, shitting and having a conversation has been a part of my relationship (no interest in seeing or watching it though). Better than walking through Bay Area shit filled streets, right? At least I know who the shit belongs to and there won't be a needle embedded in said shit.
40   clambo   ignore (5)   2019 Nov 15, 4:14pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Goran, I appreciate your point about feeling at ease with someone.

The part about crapping around someone is a bit off the hook to me.

Therein may be a clue about the guys who can get married and those who cannot; I cannot share all of my personal hygiene, secrets, texts, emails, conversations, etc. with anyone else. I have friends I may tell some of the above to, but not all and surely no bodily functions take place in front of anyone.

Interesting thing, once I was dating a Chinese girl and in our motel she went to the bathroom to take a crap and didn't bother the close the door; she wasn't shy about my knowing what she was doing in there. I said "Our custom is to close the door for things like that." I wasn't rude about it, but I could actually see her sitting on the commode.
41   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostakovitch   ignore (60)   2019 Nov 15, 4:23pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

If she can't suck you off while she is taking a shit and you can't get hard while she is taking a shit, you don't belong together.
42   APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostakovitch   ignore (60)   2019 Nov 15, 4:23pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

It ought to be a test on the marriage license application.
43   BayArea   ignore (1)   2019 Nov 15, 10:10pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Goran_K says
and I can take a dump in the same bathroom she's doing her hair and it's not gross to her.
You sick animal you
44   Blue   ignore (0)   2019 Nov 16, 12:22am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Rin says
FYI, I really miss ejaculating in her mouth ...

(hope it is real) what happens to her health. Hope she is alive and doing ok.
45   Ceffer   ignore (4)   2019 Nov 16, 12:25am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Goran_K says
With a new girl, you have to go through the dog and pony show, hiding the reality of your grossness from someone in an attempt to paint a nicer picture of yourself. Man, I'm so glad I don't have to do that anymore. What a hassle.

I know. You have to get arrested nine times to find that one-in-ten diamond.
46   Al_Sharpton_for_President   ignore (6)   2019 Nov 16, 1:32am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Rin says

Well yeah, but if I can at least survive till 85 to 100, at least I'd made natural life span
You’ll have your pick if you make it that far. Of course, it’s a pick of 70-90 year old babes looking for a dude with few years left but beaucoup money. But, toothless hum jobs...
47   mell   ignore (6)   2019 Nov 16, 9:00am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Shaman says
Goran_K says
I can take a dump in the same bathroom she's doing her hair and it's not gross to her.


Yah we don’t do that. Peeing is ok, but neither of us are trying to take a dump in front of the other. A little mystery there is abso-fucking-lutely fine!


I'm 6'7" and 225lbs when I take a dump nobody wants to stay around and I don't want anybody around either. I usually need at least one intermediate flush and a quarter roll of toilet paper.
48   mell   ignore (6)   2019 Nov 16, 9:07am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Goran_K says
clambo says
The only reason for a man to be married is to 1. please someone else 2. please society norms

Females like the idea of marriage; they see the voluntary self-entrapment by the male as an affirmation of her worth beyond all present and future other females.

This if of course untrue; you can divorce her and hang out with the next one if you want to spend the $$$ on the divorce.

If you want to go through your life pleasing others to avoid confrontations or loneliness, then marriage may be for you.

I have female company presently visiting me; it's nice to have company and someone to take meals with, go do chores with, etc.

I see this as an advantage of cohabitation, not marriage however.


I honestly like the familiarity and lack of artificial social niceties. My wife knows that I like a little back rub after working, she knows the kind of food I like, an...


For me another reason is that wommyn get uglier by the day as they are led to self destruction by the cultural Marxists leftists. I look at my solid 8+ and realize through how many dates with photoshopped or 20 year old pictures I'd have to go to even find one that comes close and then there's personality as well. A total crapshoot these days, you end up pumping and dumping the 5-7s with shitty personalities and eventually you may get metooed or contract An STD. There's hardly any marriage material left in the urban areas.
50   HeadSet   ignore (2)   2020 Jan 20, 5:40pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Had to put on three pair this morning before she was happy!

Maybe she just wants you to put on (grow) the right "pair."
52   Tenpoundbass   ignore (15)   2020 Jan 21, 10:49am     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Booger says


The guy knew what he was getting into. I don't think she started the spending spree after they got married.
53   HeadSet   ignore (2)   2020 Jan 21, 1:51pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Some have more balls than ping pong,tennis & golf ball factories & they are bigger.

Oh, that is a horrible thing to say about your missus!
56   Tenpoundbass   ignore (15)   2020 Feb 12, 3:54pm     ↓ dislike (0)   quote   flag      

Goran_K says
Love marriage and family life. I also loved being a single bachelor.


My friend and Bass player I've known for over 30 years. Is the most happiest when he's with a woman or married. He's had a gal about 12 of the 30 years I've known him.
He's a miserable always broke bachelor, that can barely get out of bed in the morning. When he's shacked up, he's always got money, and less miserable.
He hates bliss, when his relationship is going great, he takes it like someone with a passive aggressive wife takes his spouse.
He will do everything in his power to wreck his relationships, through his own head trip bullshit.
You know a friend will talk to you about his nagging wife. But he always leaves me and his other friends saying. "Sounds like you need to just chill, I think you're reading her wrong."

From what I can tell, he peaked at 17 and has always sought his father's approval. So in any cohabitation situation, he's walking on eggshells waiting to be chastised by the authority figure in the house(He treats roommate and live in landlord situations the same way).

So he prefers to live alone, that way he doesn't feel weird when he's cooking and dirtying pots or if he's smoking a cigarette in the house. He wont feel like someone is going to come give him shit for it. Which from what I can tell no one ever does, and that seems to bother him even more. A complex dude for sure.

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