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Why Santa Claus Can Exist At Many Different Places At The Same Time


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2020 Dec 25, 6:07am   226 views  2 comments

by ohomen171   ➕follow (2)   💰tip   ignore  

#santaclaus DISCOVERIES
The Science of Everywhere
Santa Claus, as usual, departed the North Pole to head around the world to deliver presents to all the good boys and girls – as he does every year.

Scientists still wonder, though: How does he do it?

The answer lies in quantum physics, the Irish Times reported.

Quantum physics, basically, explains everything we understand about the world such as how the sun shines or how metal looks and feels different from wood.

It also suggests that objects – Santa Claus in this case – can exist in many different places at the same time.

Known as superposition, researchers John Goold and Mark Mitchinson suggest that this is how Santa pulls off the trick of being present in multiple areas of the globe simultaneously.

Santa is exploiting, “what we know as ‘macroscopic quantum coherence,’ which is precisely the same resource used by cutting-edge quantum technologies to outperform technologies based on classical physics,” they explained.

Sadly, try as they might, researchers still don’t exactly understand how he does it while noting that superpositions are “very fragile” and can easily “collapse.”

They theorize that the legendary figure is equipped with some high-tech device to accomplish this Herculean feat and save Christmas.

“But – just in case – we advise children the world over to go to bed early on Christmas Eve and suggest they don’t try to catch a glimpse of him and risk collapsing his merry superposition,” said Mitchinson.

Meanwhile, children have been asking whether Covid-19 will stop Santa. No, not at all, says the US’ top official for infectious diseases, Dr. Anthony Fauci. “I took a trip to the North Pole, I went there, and vaccinated Santa Clause myself,” he told some very worried children. “I measured his level of immunity. He’s good to go.”

And what about the travel restrictions due to the virus? No problem – many leaders around the world are giving Santa a pass.

In Maryland, Maryland Governor Larry Hogan issued Order NUMBER 20-12-17-03, “EXEMPTING SANTA CLAUS AND HIS AFFILIATED ELVES AND REINDEER FROM TRAVELER TESTING AND QUARANTINE REQUIREMENTS” because of Santa’s “innate immunity.”

“This Order only exempts the Real Santa. It does not apply to any of his representatives or contractors, including without limitation, Mall Santas…No law enforcement officer of the State or any political subdivision shall interfere with the performance by the Real Santa of his appointed rounds.”

Comments 1 - 2 of 2        Search these comments

1   Tenpoundbass   2020 Dec 25, 7:55am  

Schrödinger Claus
2   Onvacation   2020 Dec 25, 8:17am  

ohomen171 says
Meanwhile, children have been asking whether Covid-19 will stop Santa. No, not at all, says the US’ top official for infectious diseases, Dr. Anthony Fauci. “I took a trip to the North Pole, I went there, and vaccinated Santa Clause myself,” he told some very worried children. “I measured his level of immunity. He’s good to go.”

Fuck that lying asshole! Fauci should be fired for smug assholiness.

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