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Had Che Guevara been a millennial, he would have almost certainly modeled Calvin Klein underwear

A friend of mine who knows about my secret double life as a woke whistleblower for The Spectator asked me the other day how I became so right-wing. I answered that it wasn’t me that changed, it was the left. I still have the same political opinions I always had, but my woke friends all seem to have gone completely nuts — or ‘retarded’ as we used to call it. I apologize to anyone offended by that joke. I’m not making fun of people with mental disabilities. I’m making fun of Wokies who tend to go completely spastic at the tiniest little thing.

When I was young it was the left that did the offensive humor. ...

Making a non-woke joke on Twitter these days is about as fun as teaching a Prophet Mohammed life-drawing class in a suburb of Paris.

When I signed up, being left-wing was about class struggle — something that my peers are increasingly ignoring in favor of identity struggle. ‘From each according to his white-cis-hetro-ablebodiedness, to each according to their Black-nonbinary-queer-disability,’ as the famous Marxist saying now apparently goes. ...

A case in point is the way in which the left has cast Meghan Markle as a fearless activist in the fight for social justice solely based on the color of her skin, while completely ignoring the fact that she is a multi-millionaire duchess who married into the literal embodiment of class oppression.

The heroes of the left used to strike fear into the hearts of capitalist running dogs everywhere. But had Che Guevara been a millennial, he would have almost certainly modeled Calvin Klein underwear. Calvin Klein’s #MYTRUTH campaign, starring Bella Hadid and Kendall Jenner, is typical of woke corporate advertising: a sort of social-justice Pinterest page, making all the right visual references while saying absolutely nothing of substance. ...

The labels on Bergdorf’s pants, however, were stitched in Ethiopian sweatshops by workers limited to some of the lowest wages on the planet: $26 a month (with no paid overtime). This story was all over the press just before the advert was released. Yet none of Calvin Klein’s social justice pin-ups ever spoke out about this particular #TRUTH. Instead they bombarded their massive Instagram followings with a mix of moral and consumerist posing, telling people to vote for Biden and buy Versace; to acknowledge their white privilege and also fly private. ...

When I signed up, being left-wing was all about freedom of expression. Now I can’t even write this article under my real name for fear of losing work. ...

I’m writing for the benefit of the left, not the applause of the right. Because the most radical thing you can do in our increasingly divided age is not to roll around with your buddies under a cozy ideological eiderdown, but to rigorously question the ideas and behavior of your political peers, especially if they’re being retarded.