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NEW YORK, NY — Pharmaceutical giant Pfizer has unveiled their new mascot, an adorable glob of platelets who goes by the name "Clotty".
"See? Blood clots aren't scary!" said Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla as a smiling Clotty danced onto the stage. "Welcome to Pfizer, Clotty! Let's get one of these little guys into every home in America!"
While Pfizer initially pushed back against evidence tying the vaccine to blood clots, the company has decided to instead embrace it. "We are so excited for Clotty to help us put a friendly face on heart attacks and strokes," said Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla. "Every new COVID booster will now come with a plush Clotty doll you can take to the hospital when you inevitably get admitted with a massive embolus. You'll love squeezing Clotty while they wheel you into the cath lab! Thanks, Clotty!"
The new mascot's reception has thus far been overwhelmingly positive, with Clotty paraphernalia already showing up in several politicians' offices. "Gosh darn it, I love the little guy," said Senator Elizabeth Warren, sporting a Clotty t-shirt as she adjusted a picture of her and Clotty. "Every child in America should be so lucky as to have one of these precious little blood clots. I will continue to do everything in my power to make it happen."
At publishing time, Donald Trump had reportedly added Clotty to his list of potential running mates.
WASHINGTON, DC — In a move designed to both bring in some extra revenue for the federal government as well as send a message of encouragement to the public to get vaccinated, tonight's State of the Union address from President Joe Biden will be sponsored by Pfizer.
"We've really been a driving force behind most decisions made by the country's leadership anyway," said Pfizer spokesperson Phil Brooks. "The next logical step is to just start publicly sponsoring this type of official policy speech."
Fresh off its sponsorship of the much-talked-about musical performance/Satanic worship service by Sam Smith at the Grammy Awards, the pharmaceutical giant is looking to expand its public presence into the political sphere. "Most members of Congress are on our payroll already," Brooks continued. "Sam Smith's performance at the Grammys, combined with a speech from President Biden, really captures the essence of what Pfizer is all about. They go hand-in-hand."
Other potential sponsors were reportedly discussed behind closed doors by the Biden administration, including Balenciaga, the Chinese Communist Party, and Satan himself. "We thought about other options, but Pfizer seemed like a good start," said a White House source under the condition of anonymity. "After all, we can't really be too open and honest about who controls our messaging."
At publishing time, additional ideas being bounced around included having the President do paid ad reads for Pfizer during the speech, adding a musical interlude by Sam Smith, or even inviting Pfizer mascot Clotty to be one of the President's guests.
Pfizer: We need to pause advertising on Twitter to see how
moderates hate speech
Also Pfizer: How much to sponsor the Satanic performance at the Grammys?
Watch until the end👇
• “There is evidence that suggests patients who receive a COVID-19 vaccine are at an increased risk of myocarditis.”
• “Onset was typically within several days after mRNA COVID-19 vaccination (from Pfizer or Moderna), and cases have occurred more often after the second dose than the first dose.” [PAGE 19]
• “The reasons for male predominance in myocarditis and pericarditis incidence post COVID-19 vaccination remain unknown.” [PAGE 28]
• “The pattern of cases conform, as per the label, to a pattern of myocarditis cases occurring in majority of young males below 29 years of age within the first two weeks postvaccination...” [PAGE 19]
• “Since April 2021, increased cases of myocarditis and pericarditis have been reported in the United States after mRNA COVID-19 vaccination (Pfizer-BioNTech and Moderna), particularly in adolescents and young adults (CDC 2021).” [PAGE 18]
• “Myocarditis events were defined as encounters with a billing or encounter diagnosis consistent with an ICD10-CM or SNOMED CT code for myocarditis which fell within two weeks of receiving dose 1, 2, or 3 of the Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine.”
• “Incidence rates of myocarditis were measured for each vaccine dose with denominator signifying the total number of patients receiving that dose and numerator signifying the total number of patients meeting the above criteria for an encounter for myocarditis following that dose.”
[NEW YORK – Mar. 16, 2023] Project Veritas published confidential Pfizer documents today showing that the company was aware of the potential risk of myocarditis for individuals who received doses of their COVID-19 vaccine.
Pfizer Hid Data on Waning Immunity as Millions Lined Up to Get Its COVID Vaccine
New regulatory filings show Pfizer had evidence, early into the vaccination campaign, that the efficacy of its COVID-19 vaccine waned, but the drug company waited months before alerting the public.
'The Greatest Crime Against Humanity In History': 11 Revelations From Pfizer's Vaccine Documents
#1: Pfizer knew their gene-based injections had negative efficacy as early as November 2020
#2: Shortly after the release of the COVID injections, Pfizer moved to hire 2,400 full-time employees to process the paperwork of the injured
#3: Pfizer and the FDA withheld information that the shots cause heart damage in youth for four months while an aggressive propaganda campaign drove many thousands to get injected
#4: Rather than staying in the injection site, Pfizer knew the shot’s dangerous lipid nanoparticles quickly distribute throughout the body to the brain, liver, and adrenals, and accumulate in the ovaries
#5: Pfizer documents acknowledge more than 42,000 adverse events, including 1,200 deaths, in just the first three months, including strokes, hemorrhages, blood clots, lung clots, leg clots, neurological disorders, dementia, guillain-barré, bell’s palsy, myalgia, and more
#6: Prior to it being legal, more than 1,000 children were injected, and Pfizer’s documents indicate a high rate of serious injury
#7:Available records of study participants who conceived children show 80% lost their babies
#8: Pfizer knew there was a danger to fertility. Lipid Nanoparticles damage the placenta during pregnancy, causing early deliveries
#9: Pfizer docs show that lipid nanoparticles also enter breast milk, stunting, injuring, and sometimes killing babies
#10: Pfizer docs show 3 to 1 of AEs sustained by women, 16% ‘reproductive disorders.’ ‘What kind of monsters look at 16% reproductive disorders and keep going?’ Results: ‘13% to 20% drop in live births'
#11 Pfizer documents reveal that LNPs “degrade baby boys in utero” by traversing “the testes of fetal baby boys” and damaging “the Sertoli cells and the Leydig cells, which are basically the factories of masculinity”
Pfizer Quietly Financed Groups Lobbying for COVID Vaccine Mandates
Many of the supposedly independent consumer, medical and civil rights groups that created the appearance of broad support for the mandate received funding from one of the vaccines’ manufacturers. ...
Pfizer’s grant to the Chicago Urban League was one of many that Pfizer made to nonprofits and trade organizations. Pfizer doled out special funding to groups across the country that lobbied in favor of government policies to mandate the COVID-19 vaccine.
The extensive list of those with funding from the pharmaceutical giant includes consumer, doctor, and medical groups, as well as public health organizations and civil rights nonprofits. Many of those groups did not disclose the funding they received from Pfizer while they were advocating for policies that would force workers to get the vaccine.
There were several different and sometimes overlapping vaccine mandates in the country. At the federal level, President Joe Biden issued an executive order, which was ultimately struck down in court, mandating vaccinations at all employers with 100 workers or more. A number of state and local governments forced public employees to get vaccinated and tried to force private-sector employers to follow suit. And many large employers required their employees to get vaccinated without any prodding from the government.
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A First Order Analysis says "Ha,ha - foolish Conspiracy Theorist, perhaps this is not the boon to Pfizer you think it is! They are just making modest amounts on the vaccine because the good people at Pfizer just have your good health in mind"
They didn't do the Second or Third Order Analysis.
Almost 400M COVID "Vaccine" doses have been administered, according to CDC. A large percentage of that is by Pfizer.
Why HASNT the Smart Money plowed into this stock and sent it's price skyrocketing?