patrick.net

She's the kind of person who winds up providing a story on Investigation Discovery a few years later.

If she makes the guy marry her, then she'll be protected. The woman always gets the house. But as a joint venture between BF and GF, the Judge will make her sell it and split the money.

Yeah, nothing on Yahoo news that I ever need to waste my time upon.

She just can't be satisfied with abundant cock all the time? She wants a productive male, too?

There is always the double standard of asset flow in the net direction of the female. When I was earlier in my career, my wife wanted me to get life insurance. I asked her, what about life insurance on her, too, to which she became highly insulted. It's OK for her to profit from my death, but any suggestion that I profit from hers is unnatural in her scheme of things. I wound up never getting life insurance except for necessary loans and business matters. Maybe it saved me from getting pushed into the path of a runaway truck.

If THAT was her first clue about the man's nature, she's sleepwalking through the sexual/relationship marketplace. It's one of those narratives where you already burn yourself out asking, "And you STAYED?" long before reaching the end.

If the roles were reversed and HE was the one making all the money and she was without a job, all the women would agree that she needed to be put on the title.

Ceffer says

She just can't be satisfied with abundant cock all the time? She wants a productive male, too?

There is always the double standard of asset flow in the net direction of the female. When I was earlier in my career, my wife wanted me to get life insurance. I asked her, what about life insurance on her, too, to which she became highly insulted. It's OK for her to profit from my death, but any suggestion that I profit from hers is unnatural in her scheme of things. I wound up never getting life insurance except for necessary loans and business matters. Maybe it saved me from getting pushed into the path of a runaway truck.

Hope you got a new wife

She’s been with him for over 3 years too long already.

Shaman says

If the roles were reversed and HE was the one making all the money and she was without a job, all the women would agree that she needed to be put on the title.

It would be equally wrong. If someone has to be bribed there is a problem.

tanked says

Hope you got a new wife

No, we are still friends. I accept it as the biological posture between the sexes, not as a sign of betrayal. Just look at the sexes in nature. It is nearly universally the same. The narcissistic egg baskets just automatically believe that the male is a kind of slave to their reproductive destinies.

She is an ultra feminine Southern gal, and with the majority good, you get the minority weird. She has been a trouper during our harsh times when life was kicking us in the face.

However, I am an uncooperative drone, so I know a bad deal when I see it.

Of course she’s the only name on the deed; the place is bought with her money and credit, not the guy’s.

clambo says

Of course she’s the only name on the deed; the place is bought with her money and credit, not the guy’s.

I get this sentiment, but I'm not living in something I'm paying for and paying down someone else's principle, taxes and insurance without being on title. As a true renter, sure I get that. This is not that scenario. If the chick has a problem with sharing with the guy, just buy a house on your own and dump him. If you like the guy, make it work. It sounds to me like she wants a certain lifestyle and needs his token income to make it work.

I owned my first building with my then girlfriend and now wife at 22. Divorce can be nasty, but if you cannot commit out of the gate, it almost certainly will end in divorce if you do get married. She should just dump him if she's not willing to share finances. She likely cannot afford what she's buying.

Ceffer says

She is an ultra feminine Southern gal, and with the majority good, you get the minority weird. She has been a trouper during our harsh times when life was kicking us in the face.

Knock her the fuck up then! Biology is destiny and if you don’t plant your seeds, the next generation will be sans witty comments from an ironically jaded fellow.

And then get life insurance. If needed. I did after my first kid was born, but then again my job is inherently risky. Your mileage may vary. We also got it on her at half the payout. Considered our earnings at the time to make that case.

I don’t get why she owes the guy the favor of giving him a financial asset he didn’t earn.

He can pay her rent, or get his own place, or whatever he wants to do.

“Sharing finances” means what? Share your wealth with someone else?

Sharing expenses with someone is reasonable to me.

Wookie has the right take on this. Without commitment, it's not a relationship.

clambo says

I don’t get why she owes the guy the favor of giving him a financial asset he didn’t earn.

There's the assumption that she earned it. We have no clue. People inherit money all the time. She could have literally gone out and bought a place and not notified him at all. She wants his minimal money with no strings attached to live a lifestyle that's above her means. That's what this is. If the guy took issue just dump him and buy the place without his pittance of an income. Oh wait, you need it. Lol. You guys don't see what this is?

WineHorror1 says

Wookie has the right take on this.

Actually rocketjoe79 has the right take on it.
rocketjoe79 says

Yeah, nothing on Yahoo news that I ever need to waste my time upon.

WookieMan says

but I'm not living in something I'm paying for and paying down someone else's principle, taxes and insurance without being on title

Well, I wouldn't let you live in one of my rentals then Wooks.

just_passing_through says

WookieMan says

but I'm not living in something I'm paying for and paying down someone else's principle, taxes and insurance without being on title

Well, I wouldn't let you live in one of my rentals then Wooks.

Valid point. But a rental is a rental. Guy should just rent his own place and make the bitch deal with the mortgage on her own anyway. By not committing to him being owner on a place, the relationship is dead before it started. I'd dump the bitch immediately. No one is going to make the same income in a two income household. Someone might have an easier job and make more. There are lots of layers. This story and relationship was DOA. Both are better off moving on.

From the article it seems like she earns 2x as much when they are both working and he goes from job to job, presumably with gaps in employment.

If she can't swing the payments on her own, she probably shouldn't buy the house. In fact, I would guess that if they applied for a mortgage together, he would probably not help the application at all. He might even hurt the application because they aren't married and banks see these types of relationships fail all the time.

If there's a breakup, I have no idea how they split the house. Since they aren't married, would they split the house according to how much money they put into the house? If he's on the title does that me he gets 1/2 the current value of the house?

A better way to proceed is she buys the house in her name only, is responsible for the entire thing. He can have a side agreement where he is responsible to pay "rent" equal to 1/2 the mortgage interest and to pay 1/2 the living expenses. That's probably all he can reasonably afford and, since she makes much more money, allows her to use the full home mortgage deduction against her higher tax rate. If they need to take on a boarder to make ends meet, than she'll have the full say in that matter.

If someone inherited something, it’s not partially someone else’s who may be in a romantic relationship with the beneficiary.

It’s 50% likely that anyone is going to have a romantic entanglement with someone else while she/he claims fidelity to you. Having this knowledge requires limited financial liability with a romantic partner.

I’m not proposing to be a cheapskate, but I don’t want to share my net worth while I’m living.

I’m visiting in Baja California Sur Mexico and my friend asked me to stay in her place.
So, I’m paying her the going rate for the hotel I often stay in, plus food, all bills, and extra cash for Christmas.
I’m buying the food for the Christmas dinner she will have for her friends and relatives.
She has a Jeep and I spent $2500+ for the maintenance and tires, etc that wasn’t done. I had a selfish reason, I didn’t want to break down somewhere in it.
I take her to restaurants but she’s not too interested since she is a little bit of a homebody.

She’s offered to put my name on the deed and I told her she doesn’t need to do that.

clambo says

She’s offered to put my name on the deed and I told her she doesn’t need to do that. I think she’s serious about me

She needs a sugar daddy.

It's legal semantics. If she WANTS him to live with her AND pay down her principle via rent, he has skin in the game even without a down payment. That's up to a judge to decide, but I'd never be with someone that wants me there, "supposedly" and not willing to put me on the title. Honestly the guy should just run from this bitch. Nothing is stopping her from fucking around with other dudes while having her "boyfriend" pay her rent and make her potentially more wealthy. Especially knowing his income is a roller coaster.

And it's one thing to feel obligated to buy things for the person you live with. But if they own it and then ask you to pay rent, the relationship is dead before it started. Doomed to fail. Guy or gal I'd just say no to paying rent, and then fuck until it goes south. Because that's all that's going to happen until one of them gets bored. If I live with you for 2 years and paid $15-20k in rent and it paid down your principle, then fuck you. His only defense is to be part owner if he's going to pay rent. This is not a traditional landlord tenant situation. I personally would just dump her as there's clearly no commitment and she just wants money to buy the house she wants. Just move on.

SunnyvaleCA says

I have no idea how they split the house. Since they aren't married,

Judge Judy, whose show I guess is over, used to explain to people playing house that the courts aren't set up to divide property unless people are married, which then makes it community property between the parties. One person usually winds up taking a huge loss, but that's their fault for not wanting to make a legal commitment. All those legalities come about because that's what's best for society, not this loose-goosey stuff we see all the time with people like these two.

WookieMan says

Nothing is stopping her from fucking around with other dudes while having her "boyfriend" pay her rent and make her potentially more wealthy. Especially knowing his income is a roller coaster.

The unfaithfulness goes both ways except her making the downpayment means much more of her money is at risk. If she's unfaithful, he can just stop paying her rent and move out — her house is her problem. If he's unfaithful (and on the mortgage) then she's really screwed because she loses a big chunk of her down payment (after foreclosure and whatever the ex boyfriend does to the house).

The fact that his income is a "roller coaster" (and lower income even when he is working) is another reason he shouldn't be part of the mortgage. I assume not being on the mortgage also means not on the title? I assume, also, that his low and sporadic income and non-marriage would conspire to make it harder to even get a mortgage.

Depending on the amount of mortgage, paying for 1/2 the mortgage might actually be less than paying for 1/2 the previous apartment. He would be saving money in that deal. In the first 10 years of a 30 year mortgage, the amount of equity built isn't very much, and after 10 years presumably they will be married or long-ago broken up. Or go with my suggestion that he pays 1/2 the interest of the mortgage as "rent" so that none of his contribution is going towards her asset.