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U.S. — Democrats in mourning today after the Supreme Court ruled that racial discrimination in college admissions is unconstitutional. Left-wing experts say this will greatly hinder their God-given right to fight racism by being racist.
"By banning racism, the extremist right-wing Supreme Court has banned anti-racism," said Congresswoman AOC. "This will greatly hinder our ability to tinker with human behavior until everything looks like like we think it should in our infinitely wise minds. Minorities are NOTHING without us! How will they survive? This is a tragic day for America."
Experts say that this move will allow people to go to college based on their hard work and merit, rather than their skin color, finally realizing MLK's dream. They also estimated that by 2025 all college students in the country will be Asian.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an extremely awkward moment, six Supreme Court justices ruled that affirmative action is unconstitutional, completely forgetting that affirmative action hire Ketanji Brown Jackson was sitting right there next to them.
"Welp, this is kind of an uncomfortable situation," said Chief Justice John Roberts after turning in his majority opinion. "No hard feelings, ok, Ketanji? We're still invited to the cookout at your place this weekend, right?"
Roberts then slunk away with an embarrassed look on his face.
"Today is a sad day for anyone who was hired strictly based on their race, gender, and sexual orientation rather than qualifications," said White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, who was hired strictly based on her race, gender, and sexual orientation rather than qualifications. "Ah, crap... now this is awkward."
Vice President Kamala Harris, also an identity hire with no qualifications, weighed in as well, saying: "Affirmative action is affirmative, and that's good. Without affirmative action, we will have non-affirmative action which is the worst kind of action. And that's bad. HA HA HAHAHAHAHA!"
At publishing time, Clarence Thomas had distracted himself from his awkward feeling by writing yet another brilliant opinion.
So now you just have to write an essay about how being black effected your life and they can let you in based in that.
I do have to give Trump a lot of credit for this!
This chick has muscles in her brains. I’ve said before that white women are the dumbest species on the planet.
I’m not wrong.
FuckTheMainstreamMedia says
This chick has muscles in her brains. I’ve said before that white women are the dumbest species on the planet.
I’m not wrong.
You beat me too this (posting this here)
Did you read the comments? They are awesome.
Instead, self deluded by her indignant and horribly incorrect self righteousness, she gave an unbelievably epic gift to any person that has political beliefs to the right of Karl Marx
CAMBRIDGE, MA — Admissions faculty at Harvard was devastated today upon hearing the news that they could no longer use racial discrimination to turn their school into a diverse rainbow of beautiful mediocrity. Their spirits were raised, however, once they realized they could accomplish the same thing by asking prospective students whether they prefer barbecue, ranch dressing, or soy sauce.
"We really want to avoid too many, um, soy sauce lovers here at Harvard," said Alta Mauro, Harvard's Associate Dean for Inclusion and Belonging. "They're kind of boring because they study all the time, which is lame. But you need a few of them on campus because sometimes you can pay them to do your homework for you."
Sources with Harvard faculty also reiterated that ranch-dressing appreciators are dangerous, disgusting people who have no business learning at a progressive and inclusive place like Harvard.
"What we really want are more BBQ sauce lovers here at Harvard," said Mauro. "They give our campus a, um, colorful feel. They bring with them a wonderful, um, unique cultural flavor to student life. Unless they're white. White people suck. I hope white people die."
At publishing time, Harvard had added an additional admission requirement, which involves a freestyle rap battle with other applicants.
SCOTUS Ruling Today: Web Designers refusal to make Same-Sex Wedding Websites protected; 1st Amendment "Trumps" State Non-Discrimination Law.
https://www.wsj.com/articles/supreme-court-rules-web-designer-can-refuse-work-on-same-sex-wedding-announcements-f1e55d02
Wasn't this settled in the "gay cake" ruling already?
June 30 (Reuters) - In a blow to LGBT rights, the U.S. Supreme Court's conservative majority on Friday ruled that the constitutional right to free speech allows certain businesses to refuse to provide services for same-sex weddings, a decision that the dissenting liberal justices called a "license to discriminate."
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https://www.yahoo.com/news/news/u-supreme-court-strikes-down-140316138.html