patrick.net

What? Do you mean to tell me that an engagement ring shouldn't cost the equivalent of 1-1/2 month's salary? Th-th-that's sacreligious! Just plain wrong! It's an investment in the future of the marriage and quantifies exactly the amount of love a man has for a woman. Meanwhile, we don't have to spend anything at all to quantify the amount of love we have for ya'll. You'll just have to take our word for it on that one...

Just get her a huge, low grade rock... a.k.a. the Diamond McMansion (tm). Seriously, most people can't tell the difference, so cheap and big ought to impress all J6Ps out there (and their wives).

<blockquote>the value of a diamond …. much like a home …. makes no difference unless you want to sell it or borrow against it.</blockquote>

Sure, but it's this sort of insular point-of-view that gets us into a lot of trouble. The real value of a THING is actually measurable, be it a house a diamond or a rare automobile. Unless we're talking a one of a kind rare artifact, where is the pleasure or peace of mind in overpaying? Repeat: Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

Expensive diamonds are pretty, but I couldn't tell the difference between a $5000 one and a $500 one. But the jewelry stores tell us how important it is to quantify your love.

Other examples of industries telling us that they're necessary:

Mortuaries: play upon the emotions of the decedant's families by using words such as "tribute" and "honor" of the dead guy. The truth is that there are mortuaries that charge substantially less, and it is prudent to shop around. You can save thousands of dollars, shop around.

Mattresses: They claim that they use new technology, but it's either springs, foam, water or air. Been the same for years. A $10,000 mattress sleeps the same as a $500 mattress, shop around.

Furniture: "Solid wood" doesn't mean solidly built. They still have veneers and can be crappily built. Solid wood can be heavier, too - and there's little or no resale value. It's psychologically easier to change your decor if you spent less on it, too. You can save thousands, shop around.

Computers: Get the one that's right for you - if you don't do a whole lot with it, it won't cost as much. You can save thousands, shop around.

I'm not talking about the furniture you sit on. I'm talking about those fancy expensive "museum" pieces that hold ugly heirlooms and books you'll never read. You can get a nice cupboard for $1200 or less, but people spend $5,000 for the same thing...

Good quality furniture at discount prices:
www.homedecoratorsoutlet.com

You have to keep looking, decide what price you like and when it happens, buy fast. You do have to assemble some of it, but it's the same stuff as the Home Decorator's Collection only deeply discounted.

Regardless of what the Realtard®'s take home pay is, their burden to the deal is 5-6% of the selling price. If there is only 10% of equity in the property (another favorite Realtard® word), then half of the seller's equity is gobbled up by the two sharp-dressed, BS spewing goons that in nearly every case show up in a Mercedes or Lexus.
I know Realtards® here in Northern California that bragged about pulling down $300K+ a year during the height of the RE bubble. The same reason I hate seeing Realtard®’s white or silver Mercedes or Lexus (I swear 99% of Realtards® drive either a white or silver Mercedes or Lexus) sitting in front of every Open House is the same reason I chose to buy a modest vehicle to drive to my client’s facilities. The opulent front Realtard®’s put up stinks and is basically a big middle finger to every buyer and seller out there.
I have been lied to and bull-shitted by way too many of these fucks to have one ounce of respect for any of them. It is much like a politician trying to say, “Hey, I am not like any of my colleagues.”
I have a close family member who is a mortgage broker and a Realtard® and even HE says that the majority of Realtards® out there are Realtards® because they have failed at everything else in life.

The local branch of the NAR used to have 'spensive cars in the parking lot, including tons of SUV's. (We call them BMW's, as in "Big Mormon Wagons..." Now there are many used cars on meeting day.

I realize that in some exclusive areas, such as the Hamptons and the West side of LA, there are huge commissions that drive up the income of the realtards/realwhores. But most realtors make very little and IMHO realtors are useless relics of the past. Like typewriters, carbon paper, and beepers. The NAR can spend as much money as it wishes, the "profession" is changing forever as it should.

Anyone who goes to a realtor for legal advice should get his/her head checked. Anyone who can't download a form from the internet should pay an attorney to represent them in the transaction, and should expect to pay substantially less than 6% of a listing to do so. I don't care what HGTV and the NAR tries to cram down my throat, felatio. :)

elliemae,

"cram down my throat, felatio."

ROTFLMAO

Excellent.

Anyone who goes to a realtor for legal advice should get his/her head checked. Anyone who can’t download a form from the internet should pay an attorney to represent them in the transaction, and should expect to pay substantially less than 6% of a listing to do so.

All the realtor does is find a buyer, period. Downloading a form or hiring an attorney is part of closing, nothing to do with finding a buyer in the first place. You will still need the form, title company or lawyer whether you use a realtor or not.

To get rid of realtors, you would have to find a way for sellers to find buyers. The trick would be to get Joe Public to at least look at For Sale by Owner instead of just calling a realtor by reflex when he is intereted in a house.

I have sold 5 houses over the last few years. I tried FSBO on all of them, but was only able to sell one without using a realtor. One house, a 1600ft 4 bed 1car, was sold in 2003. I did the FSBO bit with flyers, newpaper ads, sign, and military housing referral. All I got for a month was realtors looking to list, lookie loos, and absurd lowballs. I finally listed with a discount broker at 4%, raised the asking price to cover most of the commission, and the house ended up with multiple offers just hours after she typed it in. In 2003, houses commonly got multiple offers, so why so hard to sell FSBO? Because all the serious buyers call a realtor first.

I would love to have a Craigs List or similar that would be sufficient to attract buyers. But how do you convince Joe to look directly intead of using a agent to drive him around and hold his hand for "free?"

More & more people are hooked into the internet. There are fsbo sites that come up in area searches, and there are the tried & true fsbo magazines at the supermarket. Things have changed dramatically over the past few years, even the attitudes toward realtors. More & more often people are choosing not to turn their hard earned money over to realtors.

It's an unfortunate necessity to pay a higher price to cover the commission if you're buying and they're selling thru a realtor - but these days they're dropping prices to meet the buyers.

Name-calling is what children do when they think they're losing an argument...thanks for staying true to your kind, there, Miss Elliemae...

I'm REALLY happy that my life is not reduced to this kind of witch-hunt -- picking on a tiny segment of people who work in the housing market, trying to blame SOMEONE for your problems...

My wife uses the internet to educate her clients, and allow them to optimize/customize their searches utilizing tools like ListingBook and other websites (most of the large firms have taken great advantage of the internet, and no longer just use the MLS), and she works in tandem with them to find exactly what they are looking for -- it's a partnership.

Also, we are not upside-down on OUR home (yes, our house IS a home, and we LOVE it that way), and have happily almost paid it off, just about 16 years early, thanks to Dave Ramsey and folks like him -- now I WOULD take constructive criticism from him...but he wouldn't call me names just because I disagreed with him.

Have fun in your little world, Elliemae...you can be a BIG fish in this little pond of yours here...I've spent all the time that I have here to show folks that, while LIFE may not be fair...people can CHOOSE to be...or not.

FAB wrote the definitive post on why "saving 3%" is not worth it (when there are much greater savings to be had). If you actually have your license (like FAB), or know what you are doing, the way to go is dual agency. Yes, you heard that right. As long as you know what you're doing, the dual agent is now beholden to you, the buyer, as they won't get their 6% commission if the house doesn't sell to YOU (at the price YOU want). Imagine that, they work for you now, instead of the seller...

I second EBGuy.

When I went to open houses, the realty agents were brimming with hope after learning that I don't have an agent. All of them offered to negotiate down the price for me, and some of them even told me the financial situation of the seller (divorced, need to sell).

The 3% savings is not really worth it if you can have someone working for YOU. A new neighbor of mine went dual agent with the seller's agent who argued down $200K on the house.

Realty agents do not necessarily work in buyer's or seller's favor. They amplify the advantages of buyer and seller, in a seller's market, they amplify the gain of a seller. However at the downturn, they amplify the bargain of the buyer. Realty agents care about transaction first, price second, they only pursue price when transaction is intact. They are willing to throw price under a bus if transaction is at risk.

Honestly I hate heavy furniture, really hate them to death. Have you tried moving one yourself?

IKEA is the best for me, disposable, easily assembled, and stylish. If I change my mind, I can easily dispose of them and get a new set, and not feel a heartache.

I inherited a bunch of heavy, sturdy furniture from the last homeowner, and I tell ya, they are ugly as hell, and it cost me $$$$$$$$$$ to get rid of them because the junk yards charge by weight. If I want to get rid of IKEA furniture, I can chop them up and stuff them into the trash bin over a few week. Not a single chance with those super heavy furniture.

Unless it is a piece made by some kind of master furniture maker with a signature at the back, or has a lasting style, I stay away as far as possible from those solid wood furniture. I like solid wood home, that I don't mind at all.

Realty agents do not necessarily work in buyer’s or seller’s favor. They amplify the advantages of buyer and seller, in a seller’s market, they amplify the gain of a seller. However at the downturn, they amplify the bargain of the buyer. Realty agents care about transaction first, price second, they only pursue price when transaction is intact. They are willing to throw price under a bus if transaction is at risk.

Excellent point. I think thats Elliemae's point as well. In other words, they look after their own interest(getting commission) first either at the cost of somebody else.

Lots of realtors I met drank their own kool-aid.

The most frequently repeated conversation goes like the follows:
Agent: Do you like the house?
Me: well, there are some issues, blah blah yada yada
Agent: I have another house, which I own that I want to sell that may fit your criteria
Me: really? is it your own home?
Agent: No, I am selling 3 investment properties, this is just one of them. But I may sell my residence if the price is good.

Realtors are sales people. They're hired by people who think they're necessary. They don't provide legal advice, they don't represent anyone except themselves. They drink koolaide that tells them they're marketing professionals (listing on the mls, big deal!) and that they are necessary to a home sale. But if you can drive around and find a home or look on the internet, they're not needed. So far as them being necessary to the seller, that's a load of crap. Their only loyalty is to themselves. They hold no magic key to any sale.

When fellatio pokes fun at me in his condescending little way, saying that I'm playing life and acting like a 12-year old it hurts my feelings and makes me cry. My tin-foil hat rusts and I worked hard to make it. I'M TELLING MY MOMMY AND SHE'LL SPANK YOU!

When fellatio pokes fun at me in his condescending little way, saying that I’m playing life and acting like a 12-year old it hurts my feelings and makes me cry. My tin-foil hat rusts and I worked hard to make it. I’M TELLING MY MOMMY AND SHE’LL SPANK YOU!

As well you should, he's so articulate and fantastic, you should think more like him, then maybe your Tin hat would be rust-proof. . .

Yeah.

...and I was expecting sexist comments about mom & spankings.

The only sexist thing about it is that mom did the spanking. Of course, dad should.

I was expecting more of the perverted type of comments - such as "what does mom look like?" or "oooooooooo, can't wait!" Even, "have mom call me next!" You guys are being way too kind, considering I left the door open for that one.

Oooh, you meant *sexy* comments. I was purely thinking about sexist ones.

The fact of the matter is there are some honest, hard-working real estate agents out there. But only a fool would say that there aren't quite a few agents that are only in it for the (THEIR) money and it has hurt the profession....and it has hurt quite a few buyers/sellers.
The profession is inherently crippled by its compensation system. The dark underside of capitalism is greed and there are many out there who will completely disregard their fiduciary responsibility to their clients in order to increase their own gains.
This profession is not unlike other professions that compensate by commission. Car salesman, mortgage brokers and financial "planners" are all in areas that suffer bad reputations due to the actions of many of their peers.
Does it mean all agents are untrustworthy? ABSOLUTELY NOT, but unfortunately the actions of a few dictate that we have to watch ALL agents closely to make sure we aren't being take advantage of by unscrupulous behavior.

Well said Bap33.

Realtors in the past had something to offer in that they had working knowledge of an area and were able to act as marketing agents by providing listing services and organizing open houses.

But with the advent of the internet, everyone has access to information, maps, copious online methods of performing your own listings as well as a wealth of data and forms for download whereby they can sell their own damn house.

Honestly folks, how difficult do you think it really is to sell a house? Is this something that requires copious amounts of schooling? (like what is needed to be an engineer, a doctor, a lawyer, etc)
Of course not. It is a simple SALE of an item! No different that selling a car, doing your own garage sale and so forth. There is absolutely NO need for a middle man. None.

Realtors will go the way of the dinosaur as a younger and more tech savvy generation realizes they are forking over hard earned cash to some douchebag that likes to label themselves as a 'pro'.

Oooh, you meant *sexy* comments. I was purely thinking about sexist ones.

I just had a Spinal Tap moment. :)

Diomedes say:
"Realtors will go the way of the dinosaur as a younger and more tech savvy generation realizes they are forking over hard earned cash to some douchebag that likes to label themselves as a ‘pro’."

Amen to that. Car salesmen work for the company that makes the cars, therefore have the corner on the market for that brand of product. If I choose to resell it, I can either go thru a car lot or sell it myself. It's common knowledge that if you trade-in your car, or sell it to a car lot, you lose money but possibly gain (minimal) convenience.

However, I own my home - and that means that I can sell it myself. A realtor no longer has the ability to put it on a lot (the mls) in order to get more traffic. The interweb takes care of that now.

From the front page of YouTube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YH2w59H_kbU&feature=channel_page&feature=pyv&gclid=CPXam8-MmJsCFRNinAodXX8U_Q

It is really incredible to me that this sort of thing still flies.

...and yet another one! Note, the shill comments. This one showed up as an advertisement in the margins following a query that had nothing to do with housing!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0RW0sZ71AI&feature=pyv&gclid=CJW39YeOmJsCFRWbnAod2mdbbQ

You'd think they'd spend a little more and get professional actors & spokesmen instead of the crappy ones they hired.

>>Oooh, you meant *sexy* comments. I was purely thinking about sexist on

>I just had a Spinal Tap moment.

Now this is getting too clever for me. Even Urban Dictionary does not define "Spinal Tap Moment". Searching......searching.... --ok, I think I got it.: "Moment of great embarrassment" (possibly related to a scene were heavy-metal band goes through airport security and gets exposed).
Well, enough with the lulz. I'm going to quit while I still can. Touche'.

@justme

"Now this is getting too clever for me. Even Urban Dictionary does not define “Spinal Tap Moment”. Searching……searching…. –ok, I think I got it.: “Moment of great embarrassment” (possibly related to a scene were heavy-metal band goes through airport security and gets exposed).
Well, enough with the lulz. I’m going to quit while I still can. Touche’."

It's not that difficult for things to get 'too clever' for you. I'd think you'd be used to that by now.

Sorry - there's a scene in the movie where the record company won't put out an album with a cover that has a woman on all fours wearing a black leather barely there outfit with a leash around her neck, and a man's hand shoving a glove into her nose. The title is "Smell the Glove." Nigel Tuftner (Christopher Guest) says that he doesn't know why the album can't go on the shelves the way it is... The record label exec explains that it's sexist.

Nigel replies, "what's wrong with being sexy?"

My bad. I highly recommend the movie, tho. It's stupid humor at its best, many moments of hilarity along the lines of "Airplane!" The Spinal Tap scene that you described has one of the band members attempting to pass through airport security with a cucumber wrapped in tin foil in his pants to look better to the ladies. The movie spawned several beautiful songs lampooning metal & rock song lyrics, "Big Bottoms," "Sex Farm Woman," and a song from the sixties (made up), "Listen to What the Flower People Say." And there's a new movie that is a documentary about an actual metal band that never made it called "Anvil." Supposed to be great.

But I digress. Realtor joke I heard yesterday:

Q: What's the most common statement from realtors in 2008/2009?

A: Would you like fries with that?

If you want to actually buy a piece pf property you should work with the listing agent and pay them a fee. A listing agent will work with you th beat up the seller and you can almost always buy a home for less when you work with a listing agent and let them "double end" the deal.

Eliiemae,

I have actually seen the movie, but I forgot that part. Good one! You could say that I was attempting a parody of Nigel Tuffnell, without actually being conscious of it. Worse things could happen, I suppose. I'll keep in mind the Anvil" thing, sounds cool.

How about a mockumentary about real-estate agents? That would work for me. The possibilities seem endless....

American Beauty's Annette Benning chacter - "I WILL SELL THIS HOUSE TODAY!" (as she's wearing her underwear cleaning windows before an open house) would be a great start.

Willy,

Now I'm all confused. You make nice with me on the other thread (prop 13), and then you are being mean to me here. I just know what to think anymore. But we can still be friends, really! For example, Bap and I get along reasonably, even though we have near-violent disagreements about just about everything. We may even have called each other a name or two.

Peace?

[Bap, now I understand your comment about Willy better. It really is hard sometime to know how to feel :-)]

I'm terrible with movies. I forget them. Another good one.

@justme
“Now this is getting too clever for me. Even Urban Dictionary does not define “Spinal Tap Moment”. Searching……searching…. –ok, I think I got it.: “Moment of great embarrassment” (possibly related to a scene were heavy-metal band goes through airport security and gets exposed).
Well, enough with the lulz. I’m going to quit while I still can. Touche’.”
It’s not that difficult for things to get ‘too clever’ for you. I’d think you’d be used to that by now.

justme:
He can be quite the wanker himself. I welcome spirited discussions, and when attacked by a koolaide drinking realtor's subordinate who is condescending and boorish, I have no problem with changing their name to something more appropriate (as in fellatio - and he made it wayyyyy to easy). I hit a homer on that one, or at the very least got to 3rd base. However, IMHO attacking your ability to be clever fouled out.

Just sayin'

"I have no problem with changing their name to something more appropriate (as in fellatio - and he made it wayyyyy to easy). I hit a homer on that one"

Might you mean you hit a hummer with that one? But I assume fellatio expected to take a few licks for giving you lip since he's a jerk who can't get ahead. (no offense to my realtor peeps who don't suck)

Mikey likes it..