The year is 2012. It is dark. It is cold on the North Atlantic ocean. The huge luxury ship is sailing quietly.
Captain BS (Banker Smith) is in command. An old salt who has been on the ocean several times. Last time he occupied an outside cabin on the A-deck of the luxury liner BofA (Beauty of the Atlantic). BS is enjoying a quiet dinner in the private first class dining room with his top brass.
The Helmsman and his Lookout are on the bridge, navigating the ship.
Suddenly, the Intercom comes alive and the voice of the Lookout interrupts the diners
Lookout: “Iceberg dead ahead, Sir”
BS:, peevishly: “You know I left strict orders NOT to be disturbed at dinner!”
Lookout: “Yes, sir, I know, But we are going to hit this thing. What are your orders?”
BS, after a brief pause: “Turn left?”
Helmsman: “You mean, hard to port?”
BS: “I guess so.”
A few minutes later the Intercom again comes alive, this time with a loud shout
Lookout:” SIR!!!!”
BS - now irritated : “What is it now?”
Lookout: “THE ICEBERG,SIR: WE ARE AWFULLY CLOSE!”
BS: “ Well, DO something. What do your expect ME to do!”
Lookout: “Sorry, Sir, It’s too late. Get ready We are about to hit it.”
!!CRUNCH!!
BS: still unconcerned, turning to his chief officer, CO
“You have years of training as a Loan Loss Mitigation Specialist. You are hereby appointed Damage Control Specialist. Arrange a meeting with the Helmsman and the Lookout and find out what, if anything, needs to be done. “
CO leaves the dining room. The rest of the officers continue their dinner.
!! CRACK!!
BS. “What is that annoying noise? “
CO: (from the bridge) “We are cracking up! The bow is gone, sir!”
BS: To Third Officer, O3: “Your years as a Fulfilment Specialist should have trained you what to do! Find this bow thing and stick it back on! With your background and experience this should not take too long. Dessert will have to wait until you get back.”
.O3 leaves
The table tips forward.
BS. “Why are my feet wet?”
CO hurries in. “They are resting in water, sir.”
BS. “Why is there water in the dining room. It doesn’t belong here! It is damn cold.”
CO: “The ocean is coming through the hole where the bow was, sir.”
BS. “O3 has not done his job. Doesn’t he know that we have been certified as too big to fail? I can prove it! Here are the papers. Just look at those signatures.”
CO: “I think we must get rid of some ballast, sir. “
BS. “Yes, you are probably right. We may need the lifeboats for ourselves. We’ll start unloading ballast at the lower decks and work our way up.”
CO: “It will take awhile to separate our employees from the passengers, Sir. Or do you think they should all get tossed?”
BS: “Let me think about that. Is there any more souffle? I’ll have some more brandy, too. Can one of you launch my yacht - its on board somewhere.”
CO: “That’s not possible, Sir. I’m afraid.You will have to climb into the rescue dinghies like the rest of us when the ship finally goes down “
invite response
The year is 2012. It is dark. It is cold on the North Atlantic ocean. The huge luxury ship is sailing quietly.
Captain BS (Banker Smith) is in command. An old salt who has been on the ocean several times. Last time he occupied an outside cabin on the A-deck of the luxury liner BofA (Beauty of the Atlantic). BS is enjoying a quiet dinner in the private first class dining room with his top brass.
The Helmsman and his Lookout are on the bridge, navigating the ship.
Suddenly, the Intercom comes alive and the voice of the Lookout interrupts the diners
Lookout: “Iceberg dead ahead, Sir”
BS:, peevishly: “You know I left strict orders NOT to be disturbed at dinner!”
Lookout: “Yes, sir, I know, But we are going to hit this thing. What are your orders?”
BS, after a brief pause: “Turn left?”
Helmsman: “You mean, hard to port?”
BS: “I guess so.”
A few minutes later the Intercom again comes alive, this time with a loud shout
Lookout:” SIR!!!!”
BS - now irritated : “What is it now?”
Lookout: “THE ICEBERG,SIR: WE ARE AWFULLY CLOSE!”
BS: “ Well, DO something. What do your expect ME to do!”
Lookout: “Sorry, Sir, It’s too late. Get ready We are about to hit it.”
!!CRUNCH!!
BS: still unconcerned, turning to his chief officer, CO
“You have years of training as a Loan Loss Mitigation Specialist. You are hereby appointed Damage Control Specialist. Arrange a meeting with the Helmsman and the Lookout and find out what, if anything, needs to be done. “
CO leaves the dining room. The rest of the officers continue their dinner.
!! CRACK!!
BS. “What is that annoying noise? “
CO: (from the bridge) “We are cracking up! The bow is gone, sir!”
BS: To Third Officer, O3: “Your years as a Fulfilment Specialist should have trained you what to do! Find this bow thing and stick it back on! With your background and experience this should not take too long. Dessert will have to wait until you get back.”
.O3 leaves
The table tips forward.
BS. “Why are my feet wet?”
CO hurries in. “They are resting in water, sir.”
BS. “Why is there water in the dining room. It doesn’t belong here! It is damn cold.”
CO: “The ocean is coming through the hole where the bow was, sir.”
BS. “O3 has not done his job. Doesn’t he know that we have been certified as too big to fail? I can prove it! Here are the papers. Just look at those signatures.”
CO: “I think we must get rid of some ballast, sir. “
BS. “Yes, you are probably right. We may need the lifeboats for ourselves. We’ll start unloading ballast at the lower decks and work our way up.”
CO: “It will take awhile to separate our employees from the passengers, Sir. Or do you think they should all get tossed?”
BS: “Let me think about that. Is there any more souffle? I’ll have some more brandy, too. Can one of you launch my yacht - its on board somewhere.”
CO: “That’s not possible, Sir. I’m afraid.You will have to climb into the rescue dinghies like the rest of us when the ship finally goes down “