patrick.net

Sorry –like I said, I’m really out of touch. Would it help if I posted anecdotes about my cat or profane rants about Booners?

Weeell, it's a start, but cat's are so like, out of style. We really need a new fashion on the "huh" thread. I'm thinking goats.

Wow, I could have used some of this energy last night. It was like a ghost town on the whole blog! What’s wrong with you people, it’s not as if you have families or anything to look after!

It's all about new victims...er, I mean new blood Jack. ;)

This is truly the burnout thread HARM. I don't suppose you've noticed that or anything...

Is it me or did we overwhelm HARM with our relentless silliness?

Oops.

I hate to leave just as the fun's getting started, but I must go leave for some pumpkin carving with my daughter. I will definately check in later. :twisted:

The Thread is Undead

Death of October
brings this
night of haunting
to the blog.

Ghosts
of predictions past
howl
in Peter P’s
Head.
And he shouts
The Thread is Undead!

Trick me or
Treat me
before
zombies eat
my still-warm flesh.

Couldn't resist. And I'm leaving, but it's to pick the kiddo up from school. So don't go getting a complex. And I'm not even touching that zombie comment!

"I left the store a happy, “healed” man, with my new stick in hand!"

LOL, did your new stick heal your bloody knees? What does your spirit guide say about the housing bubble? What does it say about the future of this thread? What does it say about Mr. Fuchs? What does it say about Nazi skinheads?

Jack, is your wife a screenwriter?

If so, that's got to be even more hilarious for cocktail party conversations than being a novelist. "Hey, I've got this idea for a movie, and maybe you could write it and I could split the profits with you! There's this guy and his pet monkey, and they invent a time machine and travel back to the sixties, where they go around solving mysteries, and..."

Cool!

Hey, I've got this TV show idea, about this guy and his monkey, and they invent a time machine, and... What? Youv'e already heard this idea?

For HARM, October Blog-in-Review:

SQT has Farrah Fawcett hair and came to the party wearing a naughty nurse costume.

All hell broke loose from there.

Peter P conceded early to the bulls, mainly because he drank too much Bud.

newsfreak single-handedly resurrected poetry as a pop art form. Illegal substances may have been involved.

Surfer-X ranted and played detective, trying to figure out who brought the goat, then ranted some more. I believe he's the one who shot out the windows.

KurtS has conducted himself in an entirely respectable manner during the nefarious goings-on. He only wanted to clean up the bean dip.

Randy H disappeared mysteriously. Lack of comments on his departure suggest he may be buried in the back yard, an unfortunate victim of goat play.

Jack is responsible for most of the weird stains on the sheets, although some can also be attributed to iceman and SJ Jim. Iceman brought the inflatable dolls.

Jack is also responsible for the bean dip art covering the walls. It's an installation piece called "Inside the Bean."

Allah brought the goat. Stanman brought the cheap beer.

Jamie brought the innuendo.

Did I forget anything important?

What is your wife's favorite reality show?

Don't get a complex, Jack --I haven't bailed on you. My job has the annoying drawback of making me, like, actually do work from time to time. Plus I have a lot of catch-up to do.

"Her specialty is true crime. She will have a pilot show on Fox called “interrogation Room” on Dec 3rd."

Congratulations to her! I'll look for it. Post a reminder so we can set it to Tivo two weeks out. :-)

Thanks for the recap, Jamie. On second thought, maybe it's for the best I wasn't here last month.

Yes, whatever you do, don't peel back the carpets to see what lies beneath.

SPHUH!

Oops, sorry about that little outburst.

I am trying to think what my favorite reality show is... I guess Survivor.

Least favorite: The Bachelor. Can't stand watching people's emotions getting manipulated that much.

"Two guys who killed, make up good lies, then bad lies, then crack like eggs and one guy giggles weirdly… good television I guess…. "

It's a reality show?

The zombies are coming! Er, I mean, the zombies are APPROACHING!

I have not seen Surreal Life but I'll look for it.

We watched two shameful seasons of America's Next Top Model, and then we swore never to watch it again. The shame, the shame.

We've watched so many seasons of Survivor that it's a little dull now. We've got the formula figured out. Early in the show they spotlight the person who's going to get booted, and then they spotlight someone who's not going to get booted, and then they try to confuse the audience at the end by making it seem like there's some question who's going to get booted.

What bugs me most though is that they never show the key information you need to figure out what's really going on. It all has to be a big fat mystery who's really allied with whom. Rich Hatch was the master. It's been all downhill from there.

Restraint Sphuh-straint. It's overrated.

Guess HARM really had some work to do, huh? Damn jobs.

Oh, right, I have this gigantic manuscript sitting next to me that I'm supposed to be reading right now...

Yes, I know what you mean. Heavily edited.

Also, you can tell who's going to make it into the final few by who never or rarely gets camera time early on in the season. Or, sometimes they're just dull and that's why they get no camera time.

My second favorite Survivor was that one nerdy Rob guy who was on the season with the bimbos girl Heidi and Jenna(?), and he was very funny and self-deprecating. He was also kind of malevolent, but then his nerdiness was his demise when he let the attention from the bimbo girls go to his head and he got voted out. So, Rich was the master, no contest.

Get thee into the shed.

I will go read my dreaded stuff.

Trick or treat
smell my dread
something wicked's
in my head.

I sure hope HARM doesn't find all that SPHUH under the carpet.

Jack, you are the prez. Who do you nominate as the SPHUH secretary?

I'm in costume, by the way.

trick me
treat me
please don't
eat me
zombies lurking
outside my door.

Jack must be off playing with his stick.

a bongo drum circle is exactly what this blog is missing.

"True HORROR from the ANALS of “the shed”… "

I love the over-the-top-ness of this statement. For a minimalist, Jack, you have an amazing ability to overstate things in written form. You couldn't be happy saying something as profane as "anals of the shed." No, you had to go all caps with the anal. Like we wouldn't have noticed it otherwise. Classic Jack. I am endlessly amused trying to picture you yelling the word "anals."

So now I'm here all alone tossing about words like "anals." I should feel the horror, but this seems fitting for Halloween.

No, no, fondling member is MUCH BETTER!

I'm dying here--was that really a typo?

Maybe the talking stick is actually the fondling member.