patrick.net

Guess HARM really had some work to do, huh? Damn jobs.

Oh, right, I have this gigantic manuscript sitting next to me that I'm supposed to be reading right now...

Yes, I know what you mean. Heavily edited.

Also, you can tell who's going to make it into the final few by who never or rarely gets camera time early on in the season. Or, sometimes they're just dull and that's why they get no camera time.

My second favorite Survivor was that one nerdy Rob guy who was on the season with the bimbos girl Heidi and Jenna(?), and he was very funny and self-deprecating. He was also kind of malevolent, but then his nerdiness was his demise when he let the attention from the bimbo girls go to his head and he got voted out. So, Rich was the master, no contest.

Get thee into the shed.

I will go read my dreaded stuff.

Trick or treat
smell my dread
something wicked's
in my head.

I sure hope HARM doesn't find all that SPHUH under the carpet.

Jack, you are the prez. Who do you nominate as the SPHUH secretary?

I'm in costume, by the way.

trick me
treat me
please don't
eat me
zombies lurking
outside my door.

Jack must be off playing with his stick.

a bongo drum circle is exactly what this blog is missing.

"True HORROR from the ANALS of “the shed”… "

I love the over-the-top-ness of this statement. For a minimalist, Jack, you have an amazing ability to overstate things in written form. You couldn't be happy saying something as profane as "anals of the shed." No, you had to go all caps with the anal. Like we wouldn't have noticed it otherwise. Classic Jack. I am endlessly amused trying to picture you yelling the word "anals."

So now I'm here all alone tossing about words like "anals." I should feel the horror, but this seems fitting for Halloween.

No, no, fondling member is MUCH BETTER!

I'm dying here--was that really a typo?

Maybe the talking stick is actually the fondling member.

Did you have any trick or treaters?

Yes the talking stick told me I'm VP. When the stick talks, I listen.

i really didn't want to know where you put your Snickers bars.

I'm in my SPHUH vice president costume, of course.

"the stick says to do something for SPHUH"

And you said i have no restraint.

It's getting tedious re-loading a page that has 1500-plus posts.

Where is nurse badass anyway? This SPHUH 2000 thing was her idea, and she's hardly been here! I thought she meant 2000 by midnight tonight...

'I may not be able to smell the dread, but I can smell the costume… "

Eeewwww.

"I hate to think what the “costume” of SPHUH VP might be"

Since it's VP, it could be a "leaking" costume, but, ehhh, that's really not me.

“I hate to think what the “costume” of SPHUH VP might be”

Actually I'm wearing one of those rubbery black outfits to avoid stains from all the SPHUH.

“Since it’s VP, it could be a “leaking” costume, but, ehhh, that’s really not me….”

Sphuh?

"(Anyone?….)"

Should I make fun of my own joke?

And Peter P shouts
The Thread is Undead.

Could this conversation get any more covertly disgusting?

"Such a seminal word you have created. "

Look at you getting all understated. SEMINAL. You have to capitalize it. Otherwise it's just not you.

Don't mess with your literary voice.

2000 is a wee bit ambitious for two people and a lurking Peter.

Crank, crank, slowly around the can...

"I have also been trying to cut down on these: ” ”"

I would normally say it's a good thing to cut down on the quotes, but for you they go right along with the all caps. Tres Jack.

Peter P is watching...always watching.

"the SPHUH under the carpet"

In honor of the holiday, I propose:

The Tell-tale SPHUH
Starring HARM
Squish, squish
he hears, everywhere he walks.
Squish, squish goes the carpet.
Telling tales of misdeeds
that came before.

(with apologies to Edgar Allan Poe.)

"I am more self conscious than ever now when I emote uncontrollably! "

Argh, don't do that. People always do that to me, which then makes me feel like I'm not supposed to make any mistakes, and everyone makes mistakes. (Grammar and usage mistakes, that is.)

So go ahead, emote uncontrollably.

Is squizz and actual sound?

"Dont worry, do you really think I meant that?"

Well, i would know better than to take anything you say seriously, but people really do say that to me a lot, so i figured you might actually be getting...you know.