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For the Married Guys (And the Guys Who Have Been Married)
invite response
2012 Dec 28, 2:55am 162,822 views 460 comments
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450
Vicente
2014 Apr 28, 11:24am
Vicente
2014 Apr 28, 11:24am
But remember, peacocks are not female. Men are gorgeous and should be shown off too.
In biology, male animals have to be either useful or pretty. They do not have to be both.
451
New Renter
2014 Apr 28, 12:56pm
New Renter
2014 Apr 28, 12:56pm
In biology, male animals have to be either useful or pretty. They do not have to be both.
And/or be tasty:
http://www.pbs.org/wnet/nature/episodes/what-males-will-do/meet-the-mate-munchers/953/
452
Tenpoundbass
2019 Feb 19, 12:26pm
Tenpoundbass
2019 Feb 19, 12:26pm
This was a great thread. I'm still married and I have inherited Three Grandkids I had to adopt. 4 going on 5, 2 going on 3, and one just turned 1.
How did you guys make out in the 6 years since this thread?
How did you guys make out in the 6 years since this thread?
453
KgK one
2019 Feb 19, 1:32pm
India 1% n Chile 13% divorce rate most western countries 50%. Though still curious on why women gave dowry when they get married in some areas of india but in western culture u pay all for women .
If u meet women below 25 , college educated in stem, and makes little less money than you then u are ok. Money / hypergamy r main causes of divorse.
Also noticed that most ppl dont get married after 35. Womens main asset, look fades a lot after 28 and at the same time mens testosterone so little need to approach a women.
I read most divorce happen at 32 as womens look fade but mens status with better job increases. If woman adjusted accordingly then it works out, but most women continue to think their pussy is magical. 1 in 3.7 billion lol
If u meet women below 25 , college educated in stem, and makes little less money than you then u are ok. Money / hypergamy r main causes of divorse.
Also noticed that most ppl dont get married after 35. Womens main asset, look fades a lot after 28 and at the same time mens testosterone so little need to approach a women.
I read most divorce happen at 32 as womens look fade but mens status with better job increases. If woman adjusted accordingly then it works out, but most women continue to think their pussy is magical. 1 in 3.7 billion lol
454
Tenpoundbass
2019 Feb 19, 4:33pm
Tenpoundbass
2019 Feb 19, 4:33pm
KgK one says
That is why they must be great Home Makers and have great management skills. They used to teach home economics in High School.
But mostly the girls took it, so as a result we saw with most Boomer and Xgen couples. The Husband may earn the income. But the wife manages all of the money, and pays all of the bills. We see it all the time when the Wife dies the husband is lost what to pay where and the account numbers.
Even in the divorced couples after 50, the Male often does not recover to the standard of living he had with his wife.
I even mean in where there was no alimony, the house was sold and the proceeds split.
These scenarios of course are couples that got married younger than 25, many even high school sweet hearts.
I never got people that waited until after 30 to get married. Those are the ones that end up with separate Bank accounts, both are normally expected to have their own careers, they divvy up Bills in responsibilities. I'll pay the mortgage you pay the utilities. Those couples will divorce at the drop of a hat. As both are more independent. Young couples become codependent as they mature.
In the 80's the Liberal rag writers, spun that as a bad thing. But it used to be called Marital bliss. "Can't live with them, can't live without them"
Womens main asset, look fades a lot after 28 and at the same time mens testosterone so little need to approach a women.
That is why they must be great Home Makers and have great management skills. They used to teach home economics in High School.
But mostly the girls took it, so as a result we saw with most Boomer and Xgen couples. The Husband may earn the income. But the wife manages all of the money, and pays all of the bills. We see it all the time when the Wife dies the husband is lost what to pay where and the account numbers.
Even in the divorced couples after 50, the Male often does not recover to the standard of living he had with his wife.
I even mean in where there was no alimony, the house was sold and the proceeds split.
These scenarios of course are couples that got married younger than 25, many even high school sweet hearts.
I never got people that waited until after 30 to get married. Those are the ones that end up with separate Bank accounts, both are normally expected to have their own careers, they divvy up Bills in responsibilities. I'll pay the mortgage you pay the utilities. Those couples will divorce at the drop of a hat. As both are more independent. Young couples become codependent as they mature.
In the 80's the Liberal rag writers, spun that as a bad thing. But it used to be called Marital bliss. "Can't live with them, can't live without them"
455
HeadSet
2019 Feb 19, 8:13pm
HeadSet
2019 Feb 19, 8:13pm
I never got people that waited until after 30 to get married
Waiting till 30 to get married means the man can get established and sow some wild outs. For women, that lets them know that a movie star is not waiting behind every tree, and that all important career is not all it was cracked up to be. Plus by late twenties, both men and women are more sure of what they want. I have several friends who got married at around 22, only to be divorced in less than 10 years by the wife who claimed something like "You stole my youth!" and now wifey wants a shot at glamour and parties.
Waiting till 30 to get married means the man can get established and sow some wild outs. For women, that lets them know that a movie star is not waiting behind every tree, and that all important career is not all it was cracked up to be. Plus by late twenties, both men and women are more sure of what they want. I have several friends who got married at around 22, only to be divorced in less than 10 years by the wife who claimed something like "You stole my youth!" and now wifey wants a shot at glamour and parties.
456
Patrick
2019 Feb 19, 8:18pm
Patrick
2019 Feb 19, 8:18pm
KgK one says
When women get everything they want, they are unhappier than ever.
India 1% n Chile 13% divorce rate most western countries 50%.
When women get everything they want, they are unhappier than ever.
457
Rin
2019 Feb 19, 8:26pm
Rin
2019 Feb 19, 8:26pm
Tenpoundbass says
I think that ppl, unless widowed, shouldn't even date past the age of 30, nevermind get married.
I never got people that waited until after 30 to get married.
I think that ppl, unless widowed, shouldn't even date past the age of 30, nevermind get married.
458
Rin
2019 Feb 19, 8:28pm
Rin
2019 Feb 19, 8:28pm
Tenpoundbass says
I thought that was from the original 'Muppet Movie' ...
www.youtube.com/embed/Y9jLWqPJTRY
"Can't live with them, can't live without them"
I thought that was from the original 'Muppet Movie' ...
www.youtube.com/embed/Y9jLWqPJTRY
459
Waitup
2019 Feb 19, 9:51pm
Waitup
2019 Feb 19, 9:51pm
I have only one advice. If your GF is controlling and always wants things done her way, or gets upset over minor things, disrespecting at times. Run as far away as you can and don't look back. DO NOT Marry Her. If you think people change with time, NO THEY DON'T.
460
Blue
2019 Feb 20, 12:25am
KgK one says
Things are changing in India. Women with good paying jobs less likely pay dowry. Industrialization, cost of living and high expectations are driving up divorce rate primarily in cities.
As the people are migrating around, there is less stigma on divorce, I think its a good thing in one way, rather than stuck with bad marriage.
Expectation is low when man is young but goes higher over time. In general male species has no option but to keep up. Its the nature.
India 1% n Chile 13% divorce rate most western countries 50%. Though still curious on why women gave dowry when they get married in some areas of india but in western culture u pay all for women .
Things are changing in India. Women with good paying jobs less likely pay dowry. Industrialization, cost of living and high expectations are driving up divorce rate primarily in cities.
As the people are migrating around, there is less stigma on divorce, I think its a good thing in one way, rather than stuck with bad marriage.
Expectation is low when man is young but goes higher over time. In general male species has no option but to keep up. Its the nature.
« First « Previous Comments 450 - 460 of 460 Search these comments
Hi guys,
As the old adage states, "Can't live with them, can't live without them."
For the guys that are married now or have been married, I'm wondering what your experience has been and if you could give a newly engaged man (hypothetical to me since I am not engaged) any piece of advise or wisdom, what would it be?
I love my GF, but for a few minutes I'm going to zoom out and look at things from a more technical, statistical, and less emotional point of view.
To be honest, I am a bit discouraged at just how many people I know who don't seem to be too happy in their marriages. It always seems to be the same story. Things started off great. There was excitement, adventure, strong physical and emotional chemistry. Then 2-3yrs into it, those feels started to fade. Some couples moved on to the next phase of their lives and had some glue, er I mean kids which kept things fresh and exciting.
I saw a plot in the newspaper several years back that showed divorce statistics as a function of time. There is a spike early on in the marriage (first couple of years), then one at 7 years (7-year itch), and one at about year 18-20 (when the glue is all grown up). If you make it past that, you are fairly safe (not necessarily happy, but likelihood of divorce is low). Some of that is influenced by the fact that you don't have the same options at 45 or 50 as you do at 25 or 30. Sucks, but that's the truth.
I recall reading a book by psycologist Scott Peck that studied the term "Love." He argues that 100% of relationships fall out of love, usually pretty early on in the first few years. The feeling of love is not true love then. The conscious decision to love someone once you lose the "in love" feeling is what real love is all about.
Regarding statistics, 50% of couples who get married in this country wind up in divorce (To be fair, some of those aren't 1st marriages so that 50% number isn't quite as bad as it seems - The reason is that 2nd marriages have a higher divorce rate than 1st marriages and 3rd marriages have a higher divorce rate than 2nd marriages). Moving on, if 50% of couples get divorced, then 50% of couples don't get divorced. Surely those 50% that remain together aren't all happy marriages? So then let's say that half of the marriages that stay together are happy. That means that 25% of couples getting married in the first place remain happy, lol. I really don't like the odds here!
But anytime you get into this debate, you have to get into the alternative, being alone into older age. As much as I see my folks fight and bicker, I tend to think it's better than the alternative (at least for the level they fight and bicker).
A while back Patrick argued that the average person remains in their purchased home for no more than 6-7 years. He said, you might think you are different, but statistically you are not. Same thing goes for divorce. Nobody goes into marriage thinking they will get a divorce. But statistically, 1 in 2 people do in the USA.
What do you guys think?
As a side note, I am really curious about the following. What is the divorce rate assuming the following:
Both Members are devout Catholic ?
Both Members are devout Christian ?
Both Members are devout Muslim ?
Both Members are Atheist ?
Members don't share religious beliefs ?