patrick.net

Do I have to fuck it myself, or can I transfer the right if I win?

By the way, I'm shocked that you aren't running this as a penny auction. That's the way to maximize the money you can take from stupid people. Google "penny auction" to see how the scam works.

Dan8267 says

Do I have to fuck it myself, or can I transfer the right if I win?

You can transfer away the right if you win.

Dan8267 says

By the way, I'm shocked that you aren't running this as a penny auction. That's the way to maximize the money you can take from stupid people. Google "penny auction" to see how the scam works.

It is a penny auction. Reserve of $1 dollar merely means it has to reach a $1 until I'm obligated to give up my asshole to the winner.

You can still bid above only a penny throughout the entire auction.

And yeah, penny auctions were the best thing invented. Whoever started the concept is a fucking genius.

You need to auction something somebody wants.

Of course, when the worthless peasant steps up, you'll just do a Hannibal Lecter and castrate and eviscerate him.

Obligatory:

Looks like the banker lost his fortune and is trying to be a hooker? Too bad you are a dude. At least if you were a woman, you can try and get knocked up by Charlie Sheen and get 1/2 million dollars in tax free child support a year. Then use that to snort coke and still blame the dude for your problems. Is that why you are trying to get a vagina??

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

Mr Scum,

You pathetic addled piece of rat shit.

An auction is hardly the trading instrument you should be using for finding the twisted freak capable of attaining an erection who would place it in the same state as your hated monstrous form, much less in your diseased seeping asshole.

No, you ridiculous heinous blob of camel smegma, what you should be issuing is a Request for Quotes, indicating upward limits of 9 figures would be entertained.

Unless the RFQ ships with a detail of work that describes ass fucking you without a hazmat suit and an asbestos rubber.

Then the quote scope should be raised to 11 figures.

Your friend,

ApocalypseFuck

How about shill bid on my auction "Fuck My Asshole"...?

Ok here it is...

I bid 2 pennies to fuck RBES's asshole.

Two pennies!

is this you??

zzyzzx says

Well, he didn't break into the account, so I don't know of any laws he broke.

Robber Baron Elite Scum says

How about shill bid on my auction "Fuck My Asshole"...?

Ok here it is...

I bid 2 pennies to fuck RBES's asshole.

Two pennies!

My dog wants to bid $0.05.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/gun-hidden-in-butt-765912

North Carolina Inmate Hid 10-Inch Revolver In His Rectum

A man arrested this week in North Carolina may have stashed a .38 barrel revolver in his rectum, according to police, who reported that the unloaded 10-inch weapon was not discovered until after the suspect had been booked into a cell in the county jail.

Michael Leon Ward, a 22-year-old Georgia resident, was arrested Monday after a trooper spotted him speeding. Ward, who resisted arrest, was subdued with the help of a stun gun. A subsequent search of his vehicle resulted in additional charges for possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia.

But it was only after Ward--who is a fugitive on a murder warrant out of Atlanta--entered the Onslow County jail that sheriff’s investigators discovered what else he possessed.

According to cops, Ward, pictured at right, summoned jailers to his cell, claiming that someone was trying to kill him, and that he discovered a gun inside his cell. The weapon was found in the toilet, where Ward claimed he tossed it after finding it in his bunk.

Sheriff’s investigators say they are investigating how Ward got the weapon into the jail, since he had been “strip searched prior to being booked into a cell block.” The inmate, a press release notes, was taken today to a local hospital “for possible injuries that may have occurred to Ward’s rectum where it is believed Ward may have concealed” the revolver.

The gun, deputies reported, was test fired and found to be operational.

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

The bum gun was no match for the stun gun.

Where do you find this stuff?

The SEC of course.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/POLITICS/04/23/sec.porn/

It would have been really impressive if he had hidden it up his dick.

"Cocked pistol discovered on inmate."

Strategist says

My dog wants to bid $0.05.

I shill bid $5 million dollars now for my asshole.

Fuck you serfs. You thought I was serious?

Us elites are not faggots like some of you degenerates who would take another man's sausage up your poop hole and even do it for money but claim to be straight.

___________________________________________________

I do no think it is very probable for someone to be capable of inserting a huge revolver up their rectum.

It is simply not plausible without serious pain and rectal injury due to the size and irregular angular shape.

Perhaps one of the prison authorities and/or medical staff are a closet-homosexual and wanted a innocent non-homosexual suspecting reason to look into his asshole.

Also if my Asshole was to ever auction for real (which it wouldn't)...

It would only go for private auction only at Christies or Sotheby's.

And the auction bidders can only be female.

Not men. I'm not a faggot.

But even than, I would prefer to die.

Robber Baron Elite Scum says

And the auction bidders can only be female.

Better call Joan Cusack...

Ceffer says

"Cocked pistol discovered on inmate."

Good thing it wasn't cocked. Could have, ahem, wrecked 'em.

Robber Baron Elite Scum says

Strategist says

My dog wants to bid $0.05.

I shill bid $5 million dollars now for my asshole.

Fuck you serfs. You thought I was serious?

Us elites are not faggots like some of you degenerates who would take another man's sausage up your poop hole and even do it for money but claim to be straight.

You broke our agreement. Never trust a banker.

Strategist says

You broke our agreement. Never trust a banker.

Breaking agreements and contracts is the key to monetary success on wall street.

There is massive profit in breaking and voiding contracts to the benefit of yourself and the disadvantage of any third parties.

You've all been fucked by me instead of they other way you peasants thought it would play out.

That's also another key...

Play the part of being fucked in the ass as the conclusion of any deal to a third-party to make them turn a blind eye...

Only to stab them in the back and than fuck them in the ass before they fuck you.

corntrollio says

Better call Joan Cusack...

Better call a hit man to kill me. I rather die even if the bidders were to have a vagina between their legs.

APOCALYPSEFUCKisShostikovitch says

Who are you kidding?

You yelp and bray in joy when your immense, hirsute lesbian amazon mom kicks down the door to your penthouse and shreds your asshole with her Ronald McDonald strap on combat dildo while you shriek, 'MAKE ME A MAN, MOMMEEEEEEE!"

I think I better start raising the interest rates on the mortgage you have with my bank to make it clear to you that they only one getting fucked in the ass is you.

Your mother can suck my cock to stop the interest rate hike. Otherwise expect your asshole to be torn a new hole with a new hole with also a new hole daily compounding if you get my drift you little dirty cockroach servant.

Mr Scum,

You are a very lonely man. You have dark fantasies but can't empower yourself to act upon them.

I have the solution.

You have an army of highly talented legal professionals on retainer. Consult with them and under their advice admit your guilt to just one of your many financial crimes. Use your goodwill to negotiate a short time in prison. Once in prison allow your darkest fantasies to manifest themselves. I promise, you will not leave unfulfilled.

When you are ready contact your lawyers and negotiate some parole. From that point on whenever your darker needs require attention admit to another financial crime and serve time.

Its a win-win, the state claims victory, the public feels justice has finally been served, the inmates get some much needed recreation and you, most importantly you get some tender loving care.

Who knows, you may even get to shiv someone special.

Go on Ebay, curious how many pennies he can fetch

Obligatory:

Enough already. Apocalypse does it better than you.

RBES, you no longer have to fear your fellow oligarchs dissolving your financial empire and leaving you destitute.

After witnessing your solemn defeat at the hands of AF, they deemed you too weak to rule any longer.

However, you have demonstrated your ability to sink to the lowest level of depraved, immoral, unconscience-able, and self deprecating, groveling behaviors, sparing nothing. This disgusting display of shock and awe has left them in mixed fear and admiration. They no longer dare to unseat you.

Time to relax and enjoy the screams of some spitted cockroach peasants.